The Meaning of Marriage

Facing the Complexities of Commitment with the Wisdom of God

By: Timothy Keller

Narrated by: Lloyd James, Marguerite Gavin

Length: 8 hrs and 15 mins

Publisher's summary

Based on his most popular sermon series, New York Times best-selling author Timothy Keller delivers an extraordinarily insightful look at the keys to happiness in marriage.

Few subjects are as compelling-or as endlessly variable-as love and marriage. The Bible is filled with references to husbands and wives, from the story of Adam and Eve to advice in the New Testament, each open to interpretation.

In The Meaning of Marriage, Timothy Keller, pastor of New York's Redeemer Presbyterian Church and bestselling author of The Reason for God, uses the scriptures as his guide to show readers what God's call to marriage is, and why this is such a powerful call. He talks in frank terms about the difficulties that couples have and how they can best work them out while keeping their faith in God intact.

The Meaning of Marriage showcases Keller's vast understanding of the Bible and how it can not only be relevant to relationships today but also form the foundation of a modern, healthy, loving, and long- lasting marriage.

©2011 Timothy Keller (P)2011 Penguin

Critic reviews

"This is a book Christians need to read." (The Christian Post)

"The rare marriage book I would heartily recommend to any single, no matter his or her age, whether dating, courting, engaged, or disinterested.... Rich and practical." (The Gospel Coalition)

"A brilliant new book that explains why marriage is in such dire straits, and how to rescue it." (BreakPoint)

A True Gem That Touches on Every Facet of Your Being

Maybe 2 minutes into the book, I read across the first quoting of the Ephesians scripture “wives submit yourselves to your husbands...”; and I wept bitterly. I had to put it down.. My own view of marriage was quite broken and pained as was, of course, my view of that scripture. So much about the idea of it felt oppressive and difficult and sad. Yet, so much about the idea felt wildly intriguing, almost “over romanticized” in my mind. This book was a true jewel for me and really brings me to tears in a joyous way because of God’s faithfulness in allowing me to read it and pour such Truth and Love into my spirit through it. The book and, effectively, the Scripture it is basing itself on is *deeply* challenging. It does not skimp on the immense ask that is placed on your life to be so radically self giving and serving in love. It highlights the struggle with selfishness we face and how we don’t get to hold onto that. As someone who has a fair share of that selfishness and who has clung to it as a way to self protect in moments of actually self-destructive idolatry, this ask is no small one... I was deeply convicted in more areas of my life than just the way I view marriage, but rather also in the way I am committed to and exercise true, selfless love in general, by an overflowing of the Love and Grace I am given by God. It is also overwhelmingly beautiful. It can feel safe and good to self protect, never giving to much for fear of being hurt... It is, in many ways, nothing short of absolutely terrifying to give in, to give yourself up for another, and to be honest, to the Lord in loving trust... But this book does an amazing job of pulling back the guise to show readers an image of how infinitely more beautiful it is and will be to give yourself up into that love both to your spouse, to your fellow man, and ultimately and most significantly to the Lord, and how this upward spiralling love IS in fact the image of the Triune God Himself. ❤️ I recommend this book to literally every human being, Christian and non-Christian, male and female, married and single. Such a beautiful picture. My heart is still reeling.🙏🏾💞

Wonderful guide

Wonderful guide for what to expect and look for in marriage. Great explanation of the Christian ideal for marriage and why it is so beautiful!

Great read for all the single ladies out there!

What a wonderful book! Very well written on headship and the role of a Christian woman in marriage.

Dry read

I found this but hard to get through. It has some interesting facts but overall it’s a very long dry read.

Must Read for those who want to be married!

Must read whether you’re Christian or not. There’s takeaways that have been everything to me during my engagement.

Grateful

This book was the help I needed, when I needed it. I’ll walk away with an abundance of knowledge and perspective on how to make a marriage work in the way God intended.

Pre-Marital Listener

As someone who needed a firm reminder of what the Bible teaches, this was a great listen to prepare my mind and heart for marriage. I haven’t even proposed yet, but knowing what my partner will need from me perhaps without them even knowing is priceless. So many gold nuggets in this book. I will definitely revisit this from time to time!

The simple truth it revealed about a misrepresented subject.

I liked that both Tim and Kathy wrote parts of the book and their different perspectives were fully congruent.

Now my most recommended book on marriage

My wife and I have led two newly married small groups in the last two years. And given my proclivity to over reading, and reading as one of my primary ways of processing, I have read a number of marriage books in our 15 years of marriage, especially in the last two years. Given that introduction, I think this is the most balanced, most thorough explanation of the purpose and meaning of marriage I have read.

The number one thing I like about this book is that Timothy and Kathy Keller discussion is well reasoned, biblically based, and culturally aware. The Kellers are not advocating for a throwback to some never existed culture or a blind acceptance of current cultural norms around marriage. Instead every time I felt that they started to lean one way or another, almost immediately there was a caveat that brought the discussion back in line.

I also really appreciate that Keller starts the book with a realistic portrayal of the state of marriage without being apocalyptic about the impending doom that will come on the world if we do not radically change.

Toward the end of the book there is also a very good chapter on singleness and dating, which is not often done well in marriage book. This is a book that can and should be read by singles, which is rare. The main advice that I think should be taken by singles and married is that there needs to be more intentional community between singles and married in order that singles get a realistic and open portrayal of what marriage is actually like, that marrieds can speak into the lives of singles about their dating choices (because before marriage is the time to put a stop to bad relationships) and that singles can help remind marrieds that marriage is not the only viable way for Christians to be. There is a lot more practical advice on singleness and dating, but that is primarily for those that are actually single, which I am not.

Personally there were two insights, that while not completely new, I think I heard in a different way. Both were are part of the discussion of gender roles and Ephesians 5. The first is that both husband and wife are to model Jesus to the other and both are to model after Jesus for their role. So based on Eph 5, men are supposed to look to Jesus to learn how to love their wives. And women are supposed to look to Jesus to learn how he submitted to the Father to understand what submission means in the context of the marriage. The second thought follows right after. That if the wife feels oppressed in her submission, then she is not be loved as Christ loves. And if the husband is feels like he is constantly fighting his wife, then one or both are also not acting as Jesus either. Essentially the Keller’s point isn’t that there will not be any conflict if we really are looking toward Jesus as the model in our marriage, but that a marriage that striving after following Christ will not be either avoid conflict inappropriately, nor embrace conflict inappropriately.

I am going to read this again, and I am going to seriously consider how to try and incorporate this into our newly married small group. But this is not a book only for newly marrieds. Highly recommended.

(originally published on my blog bookwi.se)

Must have

Where does The Meaning of Marriage rank among all the audiobooks you’ve listened to so far?

For a nice comprehensive overview of a Christian marriage this is the best!!! I loved it and learned a ton! Listen to it often!

What did you like best about this story?

Very informational, but based mostly off of scriptures.

What’s an idea from the book that you will remember?

My most important connection is to God... then my spouse.