Open Deeply

A Guide to Building Conscious, Compassionate Open Relationships

By: Kate Loree

Narrated by: Carol Jacobanis

A full one-fifth of the United States has engaged in consensual non-monogamy (CNM) at some point in their lives, and 29 percent of adults under 30 today consider open relationships to be morally acceptable—yet there are few resources to turn to when it comes to navigating this more non-traditional and explorative territory.

Picking up where CNM self-help books like Open Up, The Ethical Slut, and More Than Two leave off, Open Deeply tackles the most difficult challenges posed by CNM. Therapist Kate Loree—who has practiced non-monogamy since 2003, and who specializes in treating clients who also practice non-monogamy—pulls no punches as she uses vignettes based on her own life, as well as her clients’ experiences, to illustrate the highs, lows, and in-betweens of life as a consensual non-monogamist. Interwoven with these stories are thorough explanations of how attachment theory impacts non-monogamy, how blending cutting-edge, neurobiology-informed grounding skills with effective communication skills will make even the most challenging conversations regarding non-monogamy manageable, and more. The result is a compassionate, attachment-focused template for non-monogamy that will allow listeners to avoid pitfalls and find adventure while concurrently building healthy relationships.

Non-monogamy is a wild and woolly ride—and Open Deeply is here to help make it a great one.

©2022 Kate Loree (P)2022 Kate Loree

A must have resource

I was originally afraid of this book simply by the title. What is deep inside my is terrifying at times. I have been in an ENM relationship for 5 years and am part of a podcast on our experience. I have access and been exposed to most of the resources in this space.

This resource is a must to navigate this space and grow. Kate is amazing and is living her value system in real life. I have had the pleasure of meeting her in person. Her in person presentations are powerful.

The book is something I will be relying on through my journey. It is well paced, professionally narrated and worth every penny.

Highest recommendations!

Very practical real world guide that ties to attachment theory

I loved the practical examples and stories the author used throughout the book and linking the unspoken needs to attachment issues. This was such a helpful book for my partner and I to process our feelings.

Several “oh shit, that’s me” moments in this one.

I really appreciated Kate Loree’s perspective as a therapist, particularly the conversational examples throughout the book. Seeing how an exchange unfolds between people made it easier to understand the ideas and recognize familiar reactions. “Communicate openly” sounds simple enough until you get into all the feelings that can make actually doing it complicated. Those examples helped give the advice context.

The connections between upbringing, control, and how we experience nonmonogamous relationships especially resonated with me. There were insights that gave me a different way to understand some of my own patterns, and those were the parts I got the most out of.

I appreciated having more to engage with than instructions for a series of hypothetical situations. The conversations gave me something to recognize myself in and think through.

A thoughtful, useful read that left me with a better understanding of myself and plenty to reflect on.

Nonmonogamy could be your answer

I fell into the topic of open relationships exploring ways to improve the communication around sex and romance in my monogamous relationship of 30 years. “How do we keep it alive for another 30,?,”I was asking. I was unhappy and missing intimacy in our relationship that we once had I felt a little trapped—infidelity or divorce seemed my options. I didn’t like either of those.

I got creative and listened to a couple of steamy books. Then audible suggested Open Monogamy by Tammy Nelson, which was included with my membership and was risk-free to listen. I learned that the topic was more mainstream than I’d imagined and normalized some of our friends who had been navigating their own open monogamy. That book is another I’d highly recommend look on this topic.

In answer to the question I asked myself above, I have come to recognize an open monogamy marriage could be it. These two books have helped me navigate complex communication techniques and given me language to enter into conversations with my (more traditionally-minded) husband. We’ve agreed to go to a seminar on communication and intimacy and begun to explore nonmonogamy in a serious, “safe and sane” way. Try learning about nonmonogamy; it could fit your lifestyle too.

Ethical slut 2.0

having read majority of, and incapable of finishing, Ethical Slut I came into this book hesitant. Though the content of the aforementioned was credible, the presentation was dry. However, the way Kate Loree LMFT presents this information is refreshing. She gives historical and scientific based information just as is presented in Sex At Dawn, but she doesn't stay there. She blends in personal experiences along with great first hand accounts of real world interactions. It really takes the porn aspect most of us are given for ethical non-monogamy or even mongam-ish. There was an abundance of knowledge to be gleamed for just general relationship improvement. Highly recommend anyone who's ever considered or fantasized about non-monogamy to read this book.