Advice Not Given

A Guide to Getting Over Yourself

By: Mark Epstein MD

Narrated by: Mark Epstein MD

Length: 6 hrs and 12 mins

Publisher's summary

"Most people will never find a great psychiatrist or a great Buddhist teacher, but Mark Epstein is both, and the wisdom he imparts in Advice Not Given is an act of generosity and compassion. The book is a tonic for the ailments of our time." (Ann Patchett, New York Times best-selling author of Commonwealth)

Our ego, and its accompanying sense of nagging self-doubt as we work to be bigger, better, smarter, and more in control, is one affliction we all share. And while our ego claims to have our best interests at heart, in its never-ending pursuit of attention and power, it sabotages the very goals it sets to achieve. In Advice Not Given, renowned psychiatrist and author Dr. Mark Epstein presents a how-to guide rooted in two traditions, Buddhism and Western psychotherapy, devoted to maximizing the human potential for living a better life.

Our ego, and its accompanying sense of nagging self-doubt as we work to be bigger, better, smarter, and more in control, is one affliction we all share. And, while our ego claims to have our best interests at heart, in its never-ending pursuit of attention and power, it sabotages the very goals it sets to achieve. In Advice Not Given, Dr. Mark Epstein reveals how Buddhism and Western psychotherapy, two traditions that developed in entirely different times and places and, until recently, had nothing to do with each other, both identify the ego as the limiting factor in our well-being, and both come to the same conclusion: When we give the ego free reign, we suffer; but when it learns to let go, we are free.

With great insight, and in a deeply personal style, Epstein offers listeners a how-to guide that refuses a quick fix, grounded in two traditions devoted to maximizing the human potential for living a better life. Using the Eightfold Path, eight areas of self-reflection that Buddhists believe necessary for enlightenment, as his scaffolding, Epstein looks back productively on his own experience and that of his patients. While the ideas of the Eightfold Path are as old as Buddhism itself, when informed by the sensibility of Western psychotherapy, they become something more: a road map for spiritual and psychological growth, a way of dealing with the intractable problem of the ego. Breaking down the wall between East and West, Epstein brings a Buddhist sensibility to therapy and a therapist's practicality to Buddhism. Speaking clearly and directly, he offers a rethinking of mindfulness that encourages people to be more watchful of their ego, an idea with a strong foothold in Buddhism but now for the first time applied in the context of psychotherapy.

Our ego is at once our biggest obstacle and our greatest hope. We can be at its mercy or we can learn to mold it. Completely unique and practical, Epstein's advice can be used by all - each in his or her own way - and will provide wise counsel in a confusing world. After all, as he says, "Our egos can use all the help they can get."

©2018 Mark Epstein (P)2018 Penguin Audio

Critic reviews

“Most people will never find a great psychiatrist or a great Buddhist teacher, but Mark Epstein is both, and the wisdom he imparts in Advice Not Given is an act of generosity and compassion. The book is a tonic for the ailments of our time.” (Ann Patchett, New York Times best-selling author of Commonwealth)

“Mark Epstein’s Advice Not Given continues his important, fascinating work in exceptionally lucid language. It also offers its readers a collection of fables, vignettes, and personal revelations with the true capacity to rearrange one’s perspective, even change one’s life. I suspect many of these offerings will stay with me for the long haul, for which I’m very grateful.” (Maggie Nelson, New York Times best-selling author of The Argonauts)

“Epstein’s book of practical suggestions will leave readers educated, inspired, and equipped with new tools for psychological health.” (Publishers Weekly, starred review)

Insightful

I enjoyed this insightful book immensely. I plan to listen again. The reading for me was soothing.

excellent read

definitely going to listen to this a few more times, gave me much needed insights.

One of the best books in this field

I enjoyed every minute of it, and I believe I learned more about Buddhism and the psychic than I ever expected.
Thank you, Mark.

Love letter to Buddhism and psychotherapy

Mark’s mellifluous voice takes us on a personal, deeply felt and meaningful catch-up with his thinking in traversing both these worlds. I have used his writing and reading as a self object a la Kohut, carrying his wisdom and fluency though a difficult day or two, always enlivened. I will listen again. I highly recommend this work
Margaret Allan PsyD

Framework

Although this book does not offer a formula for becoming aware of, and interacting with ones own ego, Mark does certainly offer a compelling framework for approaching ones own relationship with oneself, and from there, the world.

I even sent a copy to my therapist.

Really brilliant. Helps me connect my therapy with my meditation practice. I even sent a copy to my therapist so she could keep up.

Insightful

Thank you! I enjoyed this book!
It will help me be more insightful! Thank you again!

Honest and enlightening

The first half hour was painful due to the slow cadence of the author/narrator but then things pick up. I found myself using the 30sec back button often. Lots of good to apply to life. Dr. Epstein is very honest and not pretentious unlike some in the same category. Will listen to his other books.

Great Read

This is a good book for those who intend to practice mindfulness, meditation, or “consciousness” in the long term. This book serves as a helping hand for anyone struggling with being mindful as it explains the underlying dharma behind the practice.

splendid book for starting the path

I found the book enlightening. I plan to read more on the consciousness and Buddhism