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Publisher's Summary

Lisa Damour, PhD, director of the internationally renowned Laurel School's Center for Research on Girls, pulls back the curtain on the teenage years and shows why your daughter's erratic and confusing behavior is actually healthy, necessary, and natural. Untangled explains what's going on, prepares parents for what's to come, and lets them know when it's time to worry.

In this sane, highly engaging, and informed guide for parents of daughters, Dr. Damour draws on decades of experience and the latest research to reveal the seven distinct - and absolutely normal - developmental transitions that turn girls into grown-ups, including parting with childhood, contending with adult authority, entering the romantic world, and caring for themselves. Providing realistic scenarios and welcome advice on how to engage daughters in smart, constructive ways, Untangled gives parents a broad framework for understanding their daughters while addressing their most common questions, including:

  • My 13-year-old rolls her eyes when I try to talk to her and only does it more when I get angry with her about it. How should I respond?
  • Do I tell my teen daughter that I'm checking her phone?
  • My daughter suffers from test anxiety. What can I do to help her?
  • Where's the line between healthy eating and having an eating disorder?
  • My teenage daughter wants to know why I'm against pot when it's legal in some states. What should I say?
  • My daughter's friend is cutting herself. Do I call the girl's mother to let her know?

Perhaps most important, Untangled helps mothers and fathers understand, connect with, and grow with their daughters. When parents know what makes their daughter tick, they can embrace and enjoy the challenge of raising a healthy, happy young woman.

©2016 Lisa Damour (P)2016 Random House Audio

Critic Reviews

"For years people have been asking me for the 'girl equivalent of Raising Cain', and I haven't known exactly what to recommend. Now I do." (Michael Thompson, PhD, coauthor of Raising Cain)
"An essential guide to understanding and supporting girls throughout their development. It's obvious that Dr. Damour 'gets' girls and understands the best way for any adult to help them navigate the common yet difficult challenges so many girls face." (Rosalind Wiseman, author of Queen Bees & Wannabes)
"A gem. Damour deftly blends insights from her clinical experience working with girls, time-honored wisdom on adolescence, the latest social science and neuroscience research, and frank descriptions of cultural trends and media messages. From the moment I read the last page I've been recommending it to my clients (including those with sons!) and colleagues, and using it as a refreshing guide in my own work with teenagers and their parents." (Wendy Mogel, PhD, author of The Blessing of a Skinned Knee)

What members say

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Love it! Living it! Beyond amazing

In love with this audio book.... the person reading it and the content.... so many stories or scenarios I've already went thru my daughter and made me laugh so much... I used one of examples when I had to continuously ask my daughter to work in her school work, and grades... finally told her I've given you all the tools to succeed and always will be here, but you are responsible for going to schoool, getting your work done, and getting good grades. It's your responsibility not mine.... it HELPED... this book is an amazing guide to what teens bring to the table!!! Thanks for such a well written book.... I never write reviews as you might be able to tell ^^^^ but just wanted other parents to know that it helped me in so many ways... thanks!!!!!

10 of 10 people found this review helpful

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A "must read" for any parent with an adolescent or teenaged daughter!

This is undoubtably the best guide ever for raising adolescent and teenaged daughters. Lisa Damour easily explains the adolescent and teenaged female mind, the importance of "tribes," how to discuss important and difficult topics, how to respond to inevitable teenaged behaviors, how and where to draw the proverbial line, and more. It was encouraging to hear that I was already doing many of the suggestions (I read and research a lot - LOL), but this book also provided many, many insights and crucial information. I repeatedly found myself saying, "great point!", "yes!", "wow, that's really good to know!", etc. The author does a fantastic job narrating her book and always keeps it fresh and interesting.

5 of 5 people found this review helpful

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About time.....

Through this book I could recognize myself as I too, was going through these stages. Now I can fully understand what my daughter is going through. And I love all the helpful suggestons, tried a few already and many argumets have been avoided and we both understood each others point of view. I have to admit, I thought the author had been secretly following us because the book was following our every aspect of our journey so far. I'll be re-reading in case I missed anything!

2 of 2 people found this review helpful

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Great insights

This book was wonderful in its insights. It helped me find some logical reasons for what we saw as illogical behavior

2 of 2 people found this review helpful

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I will be listening to this again.

I have a 12 yr old daughter, and have successfully applied some strategies even before the book was done. Very insightful giving me knconfidence

1 of 1 people found this review helpful

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big help

Excellent examples of his to talk to teen girls in this book, which addresses many common scenarios.

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VERY Appreciative of this book!

Parenting a teen daughter is a challenge, but this book addresses it from a growth and development perspective that is truly refreshing. I feel much better prepared to handle these times with skill. But also I now have a new sense of patience and appreciation for what my daughter is going through, and the challenges she faces as she grows into an adult. I'm also truly grateful for the author's professional insight on what is "normal" and when to worry. Thank you!

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  • John
  • San Francisco, CA USA
  • 10-17-18

One of the best self-help books I have ever read

As a psychotherapist and parent—this was one of the best parenting books I have ever read. This will be my go to book for parents for years to come. What a gift. Thank you for offering this to the world!

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Makes it easier to understand your daughter!

I was looking for a book that would help arm me with knowledge on how to navigate my two daughters growth and ensure I was doing the best I could. This book gives you the knowledge on how to handle the situations you have to deal with, because you understand what she is thinking. Makes my reactions and decisions typically more positive, because it is based on knowing why she is doing what she is doing. Love being in that position, opposed to just getting upset because I can't understand why she is doing certain things! Really enjoyed the book, great info.

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  • Marty
  • Stillwater, Minnesota, United States
  • 10-02-18

a must read!

I am a parent of two daughters and a psychotherapist. I wish I would have had this long ago.