Real Self-Care

A Transformative Program for Redefining Wellness (Crystals, Cleanses, and Bubble Baths Not Included)

By: Pooja Lakshmin MD

Narrated by: Pooja Lakshmin MD

Length: 6 hrs and 15 mins

Publisher's summary

National Bestseller featured by Good Morning America, NPR's Code Switch, The New York Times, and The Guardian

NPR's "Books We Love for 2023"

Forbes' "Greatest Self-Help Books of All Time"

"Realistic and trustworthy"—InStyle

"This isn’t just another self-help book. It gives us a clear-eyed look at the way social systems drain our energy, and a concrete set of principles to rely on as we declare independence from these systems."—Martha Beck, New York Times bestselling author of The Way of Integrity

"This book is for anyone who’s ever removed a 'relaxing' sheet mask only to realize it hasn’t transformed you so much as your trash can.”—Jessica DeFino, The Unpublishable

From women’s mental health specialist and New York Times contributor Pooja Lakshmin, MD, comes a long-overdue reckoning with the contradictions of the wellness industry and a paradigm-shifting program for practicing real self-care that will empower, uplift, and maybe even start a revolution.

You may have noticed that it’s nearly impossible to go even a couple days without coming across the term self-care. A word that encompasses any number of lifestyle choices and products—from juice cleanses to yoga workshops to luxury bamboo sheets—self-care has exploded in our collective consciousness as a panacea for practically all of women’s problems.

Board-certified psychiatrist Dr. Pooja Lakshmin finds this cultural embrace of self-care incomplete at best and manipulative at worst. Fixing your troubles isn’t simple as buying a new day planner or signing up for a meditation class. These faux self-care practices keep us looking outward—comparing ourselves with others or striving for a certain type of perfection. Even worse, they exonerate an oppressive social system that has betrayed women and minorities.

Real self-care, in contrast, is an internal, self-reflective process that involves making difficult decisions in line with our values, and when we practice it, we shift our relationships, our workplaces, and even our broken systems.

In Real Self-Care, Lakshmin helps listeners understand what a real practice of caring for yourself could—and does—look like. Using case studies from her practice, clinical research, and the down-to-earth style that she's become known for, Lakshmin provides a step-by-step program for real and sustainable change and solace. Packed with actionable strategies to deal with common problems, Real Self-Care is a complete roadmap for women to set boundaries and move past guilt, treat themselves with compassion, get closer to themselves, and assert their power. The result—having ownership over one’s own life—is nothing less than a personal and social revolution.

* This audiobook includes a donwloadable PDF with The Real Self-Care Compass and Resources For Seeking Professional Help.

PLEASE NOTE: When you purchase this title, the accompanying PDF will be available in your Audible Library along with the audio.

©2023 Pooja Lakshmin (P)2023 Penguin Audio

Critic reviews

"Instead of pushing us to strive–or suggesting a cleanse–Lakshmin provides tools for boundary setting and treating yourself with compassion."—NPR’s Books We Love for 2023

"In her practical guide to self-care, psychiatrist Pooja Lakshmin points out that so many elements of life are out of our control—which makes her arguments so much more realistic and trustworthy. Regular massages and manicures are incredible, but if you’re wondering why you still feel so stressed and rushed despite indulging in soothing activities, Lakshmin has the answer."—InStyle

"Lakshmin’s Real Self-Care is a self-help book that aims to offer self-care tips that go beyond telling individual people to buy more expensive face creams, and instead help readers both live within the systemic outrages of capitalism and find ways of changing the system."—Vox

Helpful information for REAL and impactful self-care

After chasing wellness via many forms of “faux self-care”, this book served as a catalyst for getting to the root of what true and lasting self-care looks like. Thank you, Dr. Lakshmin!

Great book!

I really enjoyed this book and found the information very helpful. I also really enjoyed the author’s narration.

Awesome

This book was much appreciated and needed. It will change your life and your family.

Helpful and Insightful

This book is very helpful in answering why when I seemingly do self care things am I still feeling burned out and exhausted. This book resonated with me deeply and also helped me plan and exercise agency and implement true self care going forward. I cannot recommend this book more.

Vocal fry made this audiobook unlistenable

I believe this book has much to offer in rethinking what self care actually means and looks like based on our experiences and identities. Unfortunately, this is a case where the author should not have narrated their own book. The author's near-constant vocal fry was so irritating that I couldn't get through chapter two. I'll buy a physical copy of the book.

inspirational

I loved her down to Earth approach to complex life problems and unapologetic candor in sharing personal experiences. An eye-opening, must read book!

Hit me like a ton of bricks!! 1000/10👏🏼

The best book I have read in a long time. Really dives deep into modern day “self-care” & the guilt we feel when we feel blah because we didn’t practice enough “self-care”

Self-care is drinking green juice, working out or cleaning the house - instead it’s aligning your life to your values & making space for what makes you feel fulfilled. This book breaks down how to get there. ❤️

A True Game Changer

This book is the real deal. It’s a beautiful guide with many real life examples on setting boundaries, being aligned with one’s values, and finding a personal way toward real self care. As a huge proponent of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), I was pleasantly surprised at the way Pooja utilizes those techniques in her teachings. If you are looking for a way forward in creating positive change in your life, listen to or read this book.

Amazing for Indian women!

TY Pooja - I’ve been seeing an amazing therapist but listening and reading your book has also given me answers to help with my own life experiences - especially being in the medical field as well - we have many parallels - and yet this book has also given me the faith and beliefs of being my own self care and being open to gratitude is something taught - so thank you

Exactly what I needed to hear from start to finish

I'm an anxious perfectionist working in the mental health nonprofit sector and this book was life-changing. I've spent so much money and time on "faux self-care," while never understanding why I wasn't getting better or moving forward and still felt burnt-out all the time. This book answered those questions and then some. I cannot recommend this book enough to all the women in my life and anyone working in the helping/ caregiver field.