Understanding the Borderline Mother

Helping Her Children Transcend the Intense, Unpredictable, and Volatile Relationship

By: Christine Ann Lawson

Narrated by: Heather Auden

Length: 9 hrs and 48 mins

Publisher's summary

The first love in our lives is our mother. Recognizing her face, her voice, the meaning of her moods, and her facial expressions is crucial to survival. In this book, Dr. Christine Ann Lawson vividly describes how mothers who suffer from borderline personality disorder produce children who may flounder in life even as adults, futilely struggling to reach the safety of a parental harbor, unable to recognize that their borderline parent lacks a pier, or even a discernible shore.

Four character profiles describe different symptom clusters that include the waif mother, the hermit mother, the queen mother, and the witch. Children of borderlines are at risk for developing this complex and devastating personality disorder themselves. Dr. Lawson's recommendations for prevention include empathic understanding of the borderline mother and early intervention with her children to ground them in reality.

Addressing the adult children of borderlines and the therapists who work with them, Dr. Lawson shows how to care for the waif without rescuing her, to attend to the hermit without feeding her fear, to love the queen without becoming her subject, and to live with the witch without becoming her victim.

©2000 Christine Ann Lawson (P)2016 Tantor

Amazingly Comprehensive & Accurate

Would you consider the audio edition of Understanding the Borderline Mother to be better than the print version?

The print version is equally valuable as a reference as this book is deep.

What did you like best about this story?

The author accurately and comprehensively covers a very difficult subject

Have you listened to any of Heather Auden’s other performances before? How does this one compare?

N/A

Was this a book you wanted to listen to all in one sitting?

Too deep to listen to in a short period of time. I need to listen to this book multiple times.

So helpful

This book has been unbelievably helpful in helping me to understand how I was NOT mothered well and gives me language and knowledge to use when living a separate life and moving forward in adulthood after choosing to be estranged from my toxic family of origin

Illuminating and validating

This was an amazing book! It shed light on a challenging and fraught topic with such poise. Truly a healing read.

Finally I understand

Finally I understand my mother, how to handle myself around her, and know that there is hope for all of us in recovering our lives.

Great book and narrator!

This book really puts alot of my childhood and adult life into perspective, I've never been able to understand the evil that is my Mother. I will listen to it again because there is so much good information and I want to retain it all.

Amazing

Beautifully written. Recommend to anyone who is struggling with BPD or has a family member who may be struggling with it. Thank you Christine Lawson.

My life nailed!

This book was validating for me. I wish I would have read it years ago. The behaviors and examples used hit so close to home for me. If you’re even the slightest bit suspicious that things were off in your childhood then this book will clarify things for you. Understanding your mothers behavior is the first step in healing and breaking free.

So informative and helpful

My step-children have a borderline mother and this book was so helpful in deepening my and my husband’s understanding of what our children experience through their mother and how to help them escape the ravages of BPD themselves.

Excellent book, pretty much all women should listen to this.

BPD effects are everyone in society at some degree. Therefore the more people that understand the better chances we have as a society to make a difference. Many people are completely unaware they even have BPD.

Glad I ordered it

Good book that demonstrates the difference between a loving, caring mother vs a BPD mother. There needs to be more examples of loving moms, i.e. kind of like WWJD example. Instead WWLMD (What would loving mothers do)? Although rhe book has it, there should be more examples of loving moms. Any child with a BPD parent needs to have every image possible in their mind what an appropriate loving, caring relationship demonstrates since they have such a deficit.