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Publisher's Summary

Do these "endearments" sound familiar to you?

"Of all my children, I expect the most of you." Translation: I've selected you to be the one to make my life worth living.

"You've never caused me a minute of trouble." Translation: Ignore your own needs, I can't handle them.

"You're the only one who truly understands me." Translation: I would be totally alone if it weren't for you.

If so, you may have been a "chosen child", seemingly the focus of loving and devoted parents, but in reality a child walking a psychological tightrope - learning early on to deny your own needs in order to meet the emotional needs of a parent. Today, there is a name for this devastating form of child abuse: emotional incest. Here, Dr. Patricia Love offers adults real hope - and help - in overcoming the hurtful legacy of being a chosen child. Based on proven therapeutic techniques and using real-life case histories, her total program of recovery will help you identify the signs of emotional incest, confront your parents - and your past - with love and understanding, disentangle your life from theirs, and create a positive relationship with your parents - and your own children.

©1990 Patricia Love and Jo Robinson (P)2017 Tantor

What members say

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  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars

an eye opener!

highly recommend for every adult who is unsure where their relationship difficulties originated from. Helped to put pieces together and explain things were not understood before

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars

Life Changer!!!

I have already recommending and gifted out this book to friends and family. I gave a copy to my therapist. I cant recommend enough. This book providing a lot more language and clarity into unhealthy parent child boundaries and how it effects everyone involved. She gives really good examples and exercises. I'm going to reread and go back to many times as a reference. Thank you Dr. Love!!!

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    4 out of 5 stars

Helpful with multiple areas

While not perfect, this book helped me understand multiple areas in family systems type stuff. Also, as an adult man I'm a bit biased and the narrator was difficult listening to. But I got through it by just imagining what it would sound like if a man read it.

1 of 4 people found this review helpful