Loving Someone with Borderline Personality Disorder

How to Keep Out-of-Control Emotions from Destroying Your Relationship
Narrated by: Angela Brazil
Length: 10 hrs and 53 mins
4.6 out of 5 stars (262 ratings)

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Publisher's Summary

People with borderline personality disorder (BPD) can be intensely caring, warm, smart, and funny, but their behavior often drives away those closest to them. If you're struggling in a tumultuous relationship with someone with BPD, this is the book for you. Dr. Shari Manning helps you understand why your spouse, family member, or friend has such out-of-control emotions and how to change the way you can respond. Learn to use simple yet powerful strategies that can defuse crises, establish better boundaries, and radically transform your relationship. Empathic, hopeful, and science based, this is the first book for family and friends grounded in dialectical behavior therapy (DBT), the most effective treatment for BPD.

©2011 Guilford Press (P)2015 Tantor

Critic Reviews

"Research based, clearly written, and practical, this guide to a complex disorder is highly recommended." ( Library Journal)

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What listeners say about Loving Someone with Borderline Personality Disorder

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fantastic

this is without a doubt the best book on borderline personality disorder. I have read at least 15 books on BPD and this is by far the best. I would recommend to anyone with a loved one that is struggling with this disorder to read this book. the book is very insightful and has real life techniques that you can use in your daily interactions with your loved one with BPD.

15 people found this helpful

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So helpful. Practical advice for all!

So helpful. Full of practical advice for everyone whether or not your loved one has an official diagnosis. The book is also applicable to all relationships not just the one who may have BPD. The narration, however is robotic and distracting.

11 people found this helpful

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Helpful information, presentation is stilted

This book contained a lot of good information and I'll probably end up buying the Kindle version so that I can refer back to it frequently. The style of the narrator was irritating to me. She seemed almost robotic at times. I think it was because there was so much clinical information. She was easier to listen to during the case study portions because she seemed more animated. I think this was appropriate, it's just not the most enjoyable listening. In any case, I feel like my retention of lists of helpful strategies, lists of the criteria for diagnosing this condition and so on will be greater if I have a chance to look at the lists. Listening to this book gave me a great overview. I might have had a hard time getting through the whole thing reading it myself. Now I'll want to go back and read certain portions in order to help them stick.

6 people found this helpful

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great help and tool lie within

chapter 4 is very helpful, loved it overall. I would recommend to anyone wanting to know more about BPD.

4 people found this helpful

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Good book but focused on extremes

Great insights into how BPD comes about and what it's like for someone to live with. Would have appreciated a chapter on dealing with splitting and how to manage the attack that comes with it.

7 people found this helpful

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very useful book

This book has helped me a lot. i am surely going to buy it in paper form to study it better. It helped me to understand my loved ones with BPD. It is nice to have a book that has a positive attitude towards people with this disorder.

6 people found this helpful

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This book changed my life in ways I didn't expect

I started listening to this book for one purpose. I purchased this book for my boyfriend when he found out he had Borderline. I found out I had Borderline as well while listening to this book. Now with the information that I learned, my emotional intelligence grew tremendously. I haven't yelled at my kids since I've read this book. I haven't invalidated anyone like I used to. I do not judge anyone, and I changed my way of reacting. I highly recommend this book to anyone, not just people associated with BPD.

2 people found this helpful

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good for family members

This author will provide you with a definition and understanding of borderline. more importantly how to cope with them and what to do.

2 people found this helpful

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I think this will save my relationship

I think this will save my relationship. I am deeply in love with someone who suffers from some of the painful feelings and situations outlined in this book. Through the course of our relationship I have also found myself to have some of the same sufferings. This book will help us support each other and go into a positive support system rather than escalating disagreements and seriously wounding ourselves over and over again.

1 person found this helpful

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Must be read by everyone

amazing book full of precious and valuable info that everyone should have easy access too while growing up.

1 person found this helpful

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  • Jacek
  • 06-03-16

Brilliant book.

This book truly breaks with the stigma of BPD. it shows the people with this disorder in a compassionate caring way and provides people who are close to such a person with understanding and tools to cope and help their loved one. I would really recommend this book to anyone even people who never come across a person with BPD. And this is mainly because this book is very professional and at the same time is about compassion, understanding and helping people with BPD rather then a warning to run away... finally, on top of brilliant content the narration is very, very good too!

8 people found this helpful

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  • Param
  • 01-09-18

Great Help with Positive approach

This book has change my paradigm about people with BPD or simmilar problems. The way things are explained in this book and examples given are clear and very easy to digest.

2 people found this helpful

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  • Brie
  • 01-03-20

First class life saver

If your loved one had bpd or eupd or even an eating disorder you probably feel pretty helpless, even desperate. This book helped me hugely. I recommend reading it. Having it on audible is double the value of the paper copy because you can hear the tone of voice required, not just the words. This will help you save your loved ones life. Literally.

1 person found this helpful

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  • damari fuentes
  • 10-24-19

I have this disorder and this book is excellent

This is an excellent book. Helps understand my condition a lot better. Thank you so much

1 person found this helpful

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  • Karina
  • 09-02-19

It’s okay

This book is perfect for anyone who is only just starting to learn about BPD - it has very basic information and is easy to understand. The narrator is a bit hard to listen but definitely not the worse I’ve listened to.

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  • Amazon Customer
  • 07-24-19

Very helpful

A very helpful and informative source of information on BPD. Provides invaluable advice for friends and relatives of sufferers.

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  • April Hatchard
  • 09-22-17

important listen

very good and very informative. life would be alot easier for many of us if everyone was taught about the topics in this book.

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  • Karen
  • 05-30-17

Outstanding

The wonderfully clear and concise wisdom contained in this inspirational and well-researched book helped me more than words can describe. It has certainly given me a new understanding of the condition and a renewed determination not to give up .Highly recommended !

2 people found this helpful

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  • David
  • 04-25-20

Review Loving someone with BPD

If only I had understood what I was dealing with in my marriage. I now understand the pain my wife was suffering on a daily basis. From a possible genetic reason and from the sad things she had suffered during her life that added up to confusion frustration sadness and guilt and now the unfortunate divorce. Plus add in not seeking help for me as her husband for my short comings or working to find skills to help I most likely made things worse. Being well intentioned of coarse but not being aware or trained our marriage is over. If you ever read this Wendy please know I only ever had good intentions all be them unhelpful. I wish I had this book 5 yrs ago as we may still be together today. I feel I have failed you as a husband. David. X This book reads like an auto biography of my life. The first two chapters describe what it’s like to not know what you are doing wrong and why what helps normally only wounds more the one you love and your own soul takes a beating too.

1 person found this helpful

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  • Amazon Customer
  • 06-20-19

Incredibly informative

I have BPD and bought this as I try and read as much as possible on the disorder. Even as someone who is not a loved one it was an incredibly informative read. I related so much and have shared the book with family in a hope they will read it. As a person who suffers so significantly with this disorder it is my exact experience.