Some stories tiptoe up and whisper in your ear - all sweetness and gumdrops and happy-ever-after-after-there-you-go.
Then, there are the weird ones.
We're talking talking-chickens, blue plague spam monkeys, tug boats of unbridled and fetid fecundity, tulwar-swinging cab drivers, malls that maul you, gnawing on screwdrivers and jig-lining elder gods coming at you faster than a ride-on mow-down massacre mower shopping cart caravan.
This is a collection for the seriously messed up minds of all you listeners who have grown tired of the trite detritus of day-to-day storytelling. These are some of the weirdest, most messed up mind-bending kind of stories that have ever been written - and I'm daring you to listen to them now.
"Plague Monkey Spam" - a novella of spider-gods, storytelling and the kitchen sink. "Gnarly Ho-Tep Hoedown Two-step" - a story told over a hand of potato chip poker. "Hunger Time at the Midnight Mall" - a yarn of belly-grumble and fear. "The Last Curl of Gut Rope" - chicken, egg, chicken, egg, crack this riddle if you dare.
All of this wonderful madness is brought to you by Steve Vernon - the creator behind the cult novella classic - Long Horn, Big Shaggy: A Tale of Wild West Terror and Reanimated Buffalo.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN WE, WHITE MAN.
The first story is a novella and is called Plague Monkey Spam. If it had been a lot shorter and a short story, it could easily have been a 5 star story, but the story just went on and on. It ended up sounding like a bad trip on drugs. The narrator has a creepy Garrison Kelior type of voice. At times it was cool and then after a while it became grating on the nerves. What I thought was going to be a five star story ended up just a 3 star.
Gnarly Ho-tep Hoedown two-step was very inventive and funny.
Hunger Time At the Midnite Mall was my favorite and was creepy
The Last Curl of Gut Rope was okay.
This book is not for everyone. It is interesting that it is titled the Weird Ones, as everything Vernon writes is weird.
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