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Difficult Mothers, Adult Daughters  By  cover art

Difficult Mothers, Adult Daughters

By: Karen C.L. Anderson,Katherine Woodward Thomas - foreword
Narrated by: Sarah Mollo-Christensen
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Publisher's Summary

Transform your relationship with your mother.

The best news on the planet is that your mother doesn't have to change in order for you to be happy. In fact, author Karen C.L. Anderson will take it a step further and say your mother doesn't have to change in order for you to be free, peaceful, contented, and joyful.

You can emotionally separate without guilt: Inspired by her own journey, Anderson's Difficult Mothers, Adult Daughters: A Guide for Separation, Liberation & Inspiration shows women how to emotionally separate from their mothers without guilt and anxiety so they can finally create a life based on their own values, desires, needs, and preferences. Not to mention being able to like and respect themselves during the process.

Learn through the experiences of others: Through personal stories and experiences, practical tools that can used right away to feel better, and journal prompts, Anderson compassionately leads women who struggle in their relationships with their mothers through a process of self-awareness and understanding. Anderson's work with hundreds of women and her own personal work have resulted in profound growth and transformation. Anderson knows the results are nothing short of miraculous.

Funny and compassionate: This audiobook is about Anderson discovering and accepting the whole of who she is (separate from her mother), and making her discoveries accessible to women struggling to redefine their challenging relationships with their mothers. Her writing is relatable, real, funny, and compassionate.

What you'll learn inside this audiobook:

  • Why mothers and daughters tend to have difficult relationships
  • How to heal and transform your mother "wounds" from sources of pain into sources of creativity and wisdom
  • How to tell your stories in a way that empowers you, rather than making you powerless
  • How to handle the uncomfortable emotions that seem inevitable when it comes to your relationship with your mother
  • The art of creating, articulating, and maintaining impeccable boundaries
  • How to stop "shoulding" when it comes to yourself and your mother
  • How to "re-mother" yourself and acknowledge, honor, and meet your own preferences and needs
  • And much, much more
©2018 Karen C.L. Anderson (P)2018 Vibrance Press

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  • Overall
    2 out of 5 stars

Had to return the book

I was annoyed with the condescending tone in the beginning of the book. Whenever people with childhood trauma are accused of having victim mentality is a red flag for me. I guess that's expected from a coach,real therapists know you have to acknowledge the anger and hurt and empathize with your vulnerable parts before you can move on. The author makes it sound like you can just snap out of it and calles it "wallowing" and being a victim, we are doing this to ourselves as it turnes out. I get that she was trying to "empower" but there are more compassionate ways to do it. Yes you can get stuck in your "wallowing" but you don't need to kick yourself about it, it just means there's more healing to do. You can calmly react to your mother's shenanigans only after you work through your hurt feelings with compassion. Even Bethany Webster who is a coach btw and whom the author quotes here acknowledges that you need to go to real therapy before you are ready to work with her. This book is not for people with CPTSD developed as a result of cruel abusive mothering. Mothers who can't love and Toxic parents by Susan Forward, Will I ever be good enough by KarylMcBride and Complex PTSD by Pete walker still remain better options.


11 people found this helpful

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Not the best book on the last taboo..

I found the writer to be repetitive.. I couldn't get more that halfway through the book,. She kept implying or saying she would be getting to a certain point that never seemed to happen. Ok so when will it happen and why the suspense? Totally not worth it.
Peg Streep is a much better author on this topic.

7 people found this helpful

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    3 out of 5 stars

The meat and potatoes are scarce

The book spend a decent amount of time explaining what the book could and would help the reader do instead of actually helping. There were some good points in there. The journaling promos were also helpful. A decent read nonetheless.

6 people found this helpful

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freedom in a book.

freedom in a book. a must read if you want to move on in your life. no matter your age.

5 people found this helpful

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Are you kidding me?

This book and whole premise is cow manure dressed up in a box of psycho babble dollar store chocolate. Has anyone questioned the fact that this "Guru" has NO children? Have a daughter, raise her with all your best intentions, love her more than you have ever loved anything or anyone else in your life, cry her tears, hurt for her pain, laugh when she's happy and teach her to crawl, walk, skip, jump, run, go to college when all you really want to do is hold her close and keep her safe. Your... nonsense doctrine is divisive, offensive and vile. You are not qualified to hold court on the sacred relationship between mother and daughter. Because. You. Are. Not. A. Mother. Every inane and laughable "boundary" that you are preaching can be easily answered with the reason, "Because she is your mother", "Because you are her daughter". End of story. There are unwritten obligations and responsibilities inherent in a mother~daughter relationship. But you would not know that. How could you possibly? You never passed the test; never earned the degree; don't have the credentials. I wonder why. While you are busy "UN"-shoulding your misguided readers, here's a "Should" for you. Immediately, you SHOULD pull every one of every book you've ever regurgitated off the shelves and off line, making them totally unavailable for reading ~ recycling is the best place for them. If you are suggesting that if a daughter gets fed up with her mother, or can't manage to communicate her feelings, (and they are valid if they are her feelings), and work it out and work at it until it's as close a relationship as can possibly be and will only be "free" when her mother dies then you are preparing your readers for a lifetime of well deserved guilt, pain and regret. Are you really preaching that a mother and daughter are just two separate adult women with no umbilical cord and no mutual obligations? Just like two strangers on a train? You have NO idea. Someone needs to quickly author a book that disabuse your readers and set them back on the right course of working towards the closest, most honest and open daughter~mother relationship and never stop trying. Perhaps, if we're lucky it is not too late to catch some of your potential audience before they make the biggest mistake which will cause there most serious regret of their life. "NO CONTACT"??? Now, that's a brilliant idea. Let's punish our mothers by withdrawing from them for however long it suits, thereby proving to them tortuously that they, in fact, will not die without our presence, in fact, life is easier when a mother does not have to walk barefoot over broken glass each time she communicates with her daughter. And I'm doing this brilliant thing, let's play our last card and lose the most important tournament of our lives. This book is one of blasphemy and I am in shock that anyone would actually pay to learn how to follow your uninformed, uncertified divisive misguidance. Stop writing Karen (how aptly named) and go volunteer to work with motherless daughters, or daughterless mothers and then come back and give us YOUR review. I am certain the music will be for a different opera. I returned this book immediately. Even having it in my Audible library is too indelibly life staining for me.

4 people found this helpful

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Good for a specific relationship

Pretty high level, nothing ground breaking, but really focused on her point of view coming from her specific relationship with her mother and setting boundaries and distance. For someone who was abandoned by her mother or has a selfish/absent mother and longs to have a close relationship with her, it misses the mark.

3 people found this helpful

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Like salve on an infected and angry flesh wound.

I must be ready to do some healing or Karen and this book would not have shown up and I am grateful. It resonates on so many levels for me regarding the pain and anguish I experience daily because my deteriorated relationship with my difficult mother. I am so relieved to understand that I am not the only woman who carries this incredible burden. I am grateful for the honesty and candor of Karen's story and the resources I may access for the inevitable ongoing work. I listened to it very quickly and now will go back to dig in and do the journaling and other exercises. I am eager to read Karen's first book as well now. I highly recommend this work to any adult woman who has a mother that feels more like a foe than a friend. Revolutionary.

1 person found this helpful

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Soliciting money from readers mid book

Chapter 3 ended with the author soliciting the reader to follow her social media & sign up for her services. I wanted to listen to a book, not a commercial.

1 person found this helpful

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Excellent Read

Excellent read, loved it! Very resourceful. Will keep as a tool to use in future 👍👍👍

1 person found this helpful

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A guide of awareness

The direction of oneself in handling difficulties.
How to answer back in a greatfull way .The measure of oneself to respect .good book

1 person found this helpful

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  • Mary
  • 10-03-21

very insightful and helpful

I enjoyed this book despite the hard content for me. the exercises are really helpful in helping you work out your feelings towards your mother and how you keep yourself stuck.

6 people found this helpful

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  • MR SIMON BUTTON
  • 01-05-22

Total American trash

One of the worse books I have listened to. Terrible narrator . Not worth listening to,

2 people found this helpful

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    3 out of 5 stars
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  • Andrea
  • 09-13-22

Good book

A bit repeative.
I think that is due to the fact she's trying to help us relearn a few topics.

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  • Anonymous User
  • 12-26-20

Exactly what I was looking for

I have never before had this experience of reading something that is exactly what I need at exactly the right time. I can’t recommend this book enough. Thank you author!

1 person found this helpful

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  • Laura Apolo
  • 09-13-22

Some excellent insights

Although I generally enjoyed listening to this book, and gained some great insights from it, I did struggle a little with the limited author's viewpoint at times, as it's told through the lens of her own experiences. Don't get me wrong, her expertise and experience are both relevant and valuable, however, her personal views were at times (I felt) expressed as though facts rather than opinions.

If you are seeking to heal yourself from a difficult mother/daughter (adult) relationship, this is a book that is well worth listening to. There are numerous very practical suggestions to try, and the journal prompts are also very helpful. The author's desire to encourage you to heal from a toxic mother/daughter relationship is very apparent, yet also respectful to whatever choices you feel you have or come to make with how you navigate your own personal experience. I very much appreciated that about this book's message. Although many relationships can be repaired and healed, not all can or will, and the author acknowledges this. She reminds you though that you can heal from the pain it has caused you whether the relationship is repaired or not.

Having taken many years to heal my own relationship with my mother, I am aware of how challenging it can be to face our own demons in this respect, and believe that the advice and suggestions this book offered are very helpful - if you are ready to embark on the personal journey that this type of healing takes you on. If you're not ready, you will likely dismiss it and avoid finishing it because listening to it will probably annoy you.

Be warned though, this book is quite likely to stir up any emotional muck you have silently sitting within you. Perhaps it is best listened to in smaller doses rather than a single sitting.

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    4 out of 5 stars
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  • V_Z
  • 04-29-22

Love the content, hate the robotic narration

The title of the review says it all really. This book is full of valuable information and support but the robotic narration is off-putting. Such a bizarre choice.

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    5 out of 5 stars
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  • Anonymous User
  • 01-14-22

Breaking it down

Some really authentic and practical ways to unravel the toxic mother daughter relationship. All worth listening to.

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    5 out of 5 stars
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  • Anonymous User
  • 09-13-21

Highlighted the words of my therapist

This book came at the right time. Going through burn out and questioning myself all the time about my mothers behaviour this book definitely settled my crazy thoughts. It confirmed yes, what your friends and therapist are saying is right. I listened to it over and over. It’s also helped me improve my behaviour around my own child instead of dragging the generational curse into the next.

Sorry writing this half asleep with one eye open.

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  • Katie
  • 03-07-21

A helpful book for anyone

The information in this book applies to anyone in any relationship as at the core, you learn how to take responsibility for you and your feelings.

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    5 out of 5 stars
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  • Wendy
  • 12-18-20

Highly recommend

This book was so useful and accurate that I think it warranted a mic drop at the end. It gets better as it goes on. Transformative.

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    2 out of 5 stars
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  • Anonymous User
  • 06-02-20

Condescending in parts

This was a slow and a bit condescending. I was really looking forward to this book, but basically the writer just keeps telling you to journal. Unhelpful if you're not the type to want to journal. I couldn't finish it. The narrator is good though.

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  • Kathleen Peck
  • 03-13-19

Life changer

Listening to it while gardening, I was want to shout "Yes, Yes" or sit and quietly weep. Since then I have got the hard copy and doing the hard work of journaling as Karen recommends. It has made a real difference to my life and my health. Karen generously includes lots of reference material and sources, so you can go off on your own journey of discovery. She has even taken the time to have an email dialogue with me. So not just an ordinary book - a life changer.