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If You Give a Kid a Cookie, Will He Shut the F--k Up?
- A Parody for Adults
- Narrated by: Bobcat Goldthwait
- Length: 2 mins
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Publisher's summary
Before they Go the F**k to Sleep, they need to Shut the F**k Up. If you give a kid a cookie, will he shut the f**k up? That is the question at the heart of this hilarious, deeply honest, profanity-laced book for parents who will do whatever it takes for a moment’s peace.
What really happens when you give in to your child’s tantrums? The events that follow this seemingly simple act will test parents to the breaking point… while entertaining the millions of us who have been there ourselves (and lived to tell). Also a cautionary and instructive tale for new parents, If You Give a Kid a Cookie, Will He Shut the F**k Up? is a must-have for every family library collection. Just keep it on the top shelf.
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Christina Applegate is everything
- By Julie on 03-21-21
By: Matt Boren
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Benefits with Friends
- Starring Mae Martin and Sabrina Jalees
- By: Mae Martin, Sabrina Jalees
- Narrated by: Mae Martin, Sabrina Jalees
- Length: 4 hrs and 54 mins
- Original Recording
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Sex, money, religion...all topics that we’re told to avoid in polite company. But exactly the kind of conversations you should be having with your bestie, according to best friends of more than 20 years, Mae Martin (Feel Good) and Sabrina Jalees (Roast Battle). Romantic couples are often guided through the conversations they should be having before committing to each other–but what are the topics that best friends should be covering to truly get to know each other?
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This was amazing - season 2 please?!
- By friday on 03-18-24
By: Mae Martin, and others
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Breakfast of Champions
- By: Kurt Vonnegut
- Narrated by: John Malkovich
- Length: 6 hrs and 27 mins
- Unabridged
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Breakfast of Champions (1973) provides frantic, scattershot satire and a collage of Vonnegut's obsessions. His recurring cast of characters and American landscape was perhaps the most controversial of his canon; it was felt by many at the time to be a disappointing successor to Slaughterhouse-Five, which had made Vonnegut's literary reputation.
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Kurt Was Right to Grade This a C
- By Dubi on 01-10-16
By: Kurt Vonnegut
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To Die For
- A Novel
- By: Joyce Maynard
- Narrated by: Michael Crouch, Piper Goodeve, Carly Robins, and others
- Length: 8 hrs and 40 mins
- Unabridged
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Local weather reporter Suzanne Maretto craves nothing more than to transcend life at her suburban cable television news station and follow in the footsteps of her idol: Barbara Walters. When she concludes that her unglamorous husband is getting in the way of her dream of stardom, the solution seems obvious: Get rid of him. She seduces a 15-year-old admirer, Jimmy, and persuades him to do her dirty work. Mission accomplished, Suzanne takes to the airwaves in her new role as grieving widow, in search of a TV deal. If that means selling Jimmy down the river, she’s ready.
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Great movie, even better book
- By RueRue on 12-19-23
By: Joyce Maynard
What listeners say about If You Give a Kid a Cookie, Will He Shut the F--k Up?
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Jim
- 02-01-12
Did any of the previous reviewers ACTUALLY LISTEN?
First of all, you GOTTA be kidding me! An average of only 2.5-to-3.0 stars???
Really, Nation???
This is a PARODY of "Go The F**k To Sleep," which was originally narrated by the only voice on the planet which could have possibly narrated "Go The F**k To Sleep"... Samuel L. Jackson.
And now the resultant "Go The F**k To Sleep" PARODY, "If You Give a Kid a Cookie, Will He Shut the F--k Up?: A Parody for Adults," was, likewise, narrated by the only voice on the planet which could have possibly narrated "If You Give A Kid A Cookie, Will He Shut the F--k Up?"... Bobcat Goldthwait!
What kind of narrator were people honestly expecting to read this book aloud to them? Stefan Rudnicki?????
As for the vapid criticism of Mr. Goldthwait's narration performance, are any of the previous reviewers who specifically cited Mr. Goldthwait's narration skills, actually FAMILIAR with Mr. Goldthwait's comedic talents and his unique sense of timing a line for maximum effect?
I can understand that a few folks who are tight with a buck might be a little bummed that they had to pay $0.93 (if they missed the free for a day gift from Audible) for only 2 minutes of material. Oh, well...
As for myself, I feel that Marcy Roznick wrote a GREAT little parody and that Macmillan Audio gets bonus points for actually having taken the time to properly voice this short gem by hiring Mr. Goldthwait.
Kudos all around for a rare, comedic gem!
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9 people found this helpful
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- Kevin Meares
- 11-03-18
Hilarious and cheap
You may have heard the Samuel L Jackson narration of Go The F*ck To Sleep, this doesn’t disappoint
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3 people found this helpful
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- Foxymoron
- 12-24-15
Reminds me of my ex husband
I believe the story was loosely based on actual incident that my ex husband has done. I am the ex wife that handed him divorce papers as I bailed him out. Bobcat did an excellent job narrating this incident and its full glorious splendor. A great bedtime story for children that can serve as a warning for what may happen. So never snitch on your Pops kids.
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3 people found this helpful
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- AnnieM
- 05-15-15
Totally worth it
The perfect narrator for a hilarious book for parents. Sure to be in my Rotation permanently. Bob Golthwait is PEFECT for the story.
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3 people found this helpful
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- Jacob
- 04-30-12
Waste of 2 minutes
I thought it was going to be a little bit funny. A total waste of time and money! I want my 95 cents back!
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3 people found this helpful
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- missmica
- 06-09-14
uuugghh
What would have made If You Give a Kid a Cookie, Will He Shut the F--k Up? better?
This isNOTHING like go the fuck to sleep. Bobcat doesnt do a good job.And the story isnt fun or funny like go the fuck to sleep. Godo thing it was only a buck
Would you ever listen to anything by Marcy Roznick again?
Maybe
What didn’t you like about Bobcat Goldthwait’s performance?
Uugghhh the story sucked
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2 people found this helpful
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- Jaysinism
- 04-29-20
I’m confused
I don’t understand how this book is only 2 minutes long? I listened to it but I feel like I am missing something. Is this like a preview to buy the hard copy book or something? I’m not sure why I wasted an audible credit on something that’s not even complete?
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1 person found this helpful
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- Anonymous User
- 11-12-18
Just Bad
Marcy Roznick uses bad language as crutch to support his bad jokes.
#satire #sweepstakes #tagsgiving
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- Ellington
- 12-17-14
Ok - ISH
I didnt like it as much as much as Go The F--- to Sleep. I thought it was not as funny or cute.
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- Le_Halogen
- 01-14-14
Not what I had in mind.
What could have made this a 4 or 5-star listening experience for you?
If the writing had more sense than just slap-in humor, it could have been better.
What could Marcy Roznick have done to make this a more enjoyable book for you?
The narration was abnormal, it could have sounded more audible in the first place but it had me thinking if it was funny or just plain stupid.
What reaction did this book spark in you? Anger, sadness, disappointment?
Simply disappointed, how could they even let this book match up with "Go the F--k to sleep"?
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1 person found this helpful