Lemony Snicket

Like a car alarm, bagpipe music, or a doorbell ringing in the middle of the night, hearing this all-new audio edition of The Bad Beginning will only upset you....

I am sorry to say that the lives of the Baudelaire orphans, Violet, Klaus, and Sunny, are filled with bad luck and misery....

If you are looking for a story about cheerful youngsters spending a jolly time at boarding school, look elsewhere....

Unless you are a slug, a sea anemone, or mildew, you probably prefer not to be damp....

This audio is the only one which describes every last detail of the Baudelaire children's miserable stay at Heimlich Hospital, which makes it one of the most dreadful audios in the world....

Like handshakes or housepets, many things are preferable when not slippery....

Like the previous books in A Series of Unfortunate Events, there is nothing to be heard here but misery, despair, and discomfort....

I hope, for your sake, that you have not chosen to listen to this recording because you are in the mood for a pleasant experience....

The word "carnivorous", which appears in the title of this book, means "meat-eating", and once you have read such a bloodthirsty word, there is no reason to read any further....

Lemony Snicket returns with the last book before the last book of his New York Times best-selling A Series of Unfortunate Events....