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Seriously...I'm Kidding
- Narrated by: Ellen DeGeneres
- Length: 3 hrs and 7 mins
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sad to even be writing this review :(
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Lighthearted... yet predictable and clichéd
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Publisher's summary
With the winning, upbeat candor that has made her show on of the most popular and honored daytime shows on the air, beloved talk show host and comedian Ellen DeGeneres shares her views on life, love, and American Idol.
"I've experienced a whole lot the last few years and I have a lot to share. So I hope that you'll take a moment to sit back, relax and enjoy the words I've put together for you in this book. I think you'll find I've left no stone unturned, no door unopened, no window unbroken, no rug unvacuumed, no ivories untickled. What I'm saying is, let us begin, shall we?"
Seriously...I'm Kidding is a lively, hilarious, and often sweetly poignant look at the life of the much-loved entertainer as she opens up about her personal life, her talk show, and more.
Praise for Seriously...I'm Kidding
"DeGeneres's amiably oddball riffs on everything from kale to catwalks to Jesus will make fans smile." (People)
"Whatever the topic, DeGeneres's compulsively readable style will appeal to fans old and new." (Publishers Weekly)
"Fans will not be disappointed...[DeGeneres's] trademark wit and openness shine through and through." (Kirkus)
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Unfiltered. Unapologetic. Older, but not wiser, Lancaster goes back to basics in this hilarious essay collection about everything from taking community policing classes to accidentally getting high with her waiter after a fancy dinner. These are the tales she'd tell if she met you in a bar... if she weren't too lazy to put on pants and go to a bar. Offering advice ranging from how to remain happily married to a man who refuses to blow his damn nose already to not creating An Incident at the cheese counter during an attempt at Whole30, she's you, only louder.
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self absorbed
- By D D H on 06-15-19
By: Jen Lancaster
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#IMomSoHard
- By: Kristin Hensley, Jen Smedley
- Narrated by: Kristin Hensley, Jen Smedley
- Length: 7 hrs and 19 mins
- Unabridged
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In their highly anticipated first audiobook, the hilarious mom duo with millions of followers explores all the ridiculous shit you’re expected to do to keep multiple humans alive and happy-ish and celebrates the love for the friends who get you through it.
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IRelateSoHard
- By Peekablue on 04-20-19
By: Kristin Hensley, and others
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My Inappropriate Life
- Some Material Not Suitable for Small Children, Nuns, or Mature Adults
- By: Heather McDonald
- Narrated by: Heather McDonald
- Length: 5 hrs and 42 mins
- Unabridged
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In her hilarious New York Times best seller You’ll Never Blue Ball in This Town Again, Heather McDonald recounted her adventures as an unwilling virgin in Hollywood. Now happily married with three wonderful kids, she shows that life as a grown-up - even a pretend grown-up - has its challenges. Heather’s a working mom with parents who live next door, a sister who keeps asking for one of her still-fertile eggs, and friends who are up to more hijinks than even Heather can handle.
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Irritating
- By TrishS on 04-23-13
By: Heather McDonald
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Hey Mom
- By: Louie Anderson
- Narrated by: Louie Anderson
- Length: 6 hrs and 1 min
- Unabridged
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Louie Anderson has been channeling his beloved mom in his iconic stand-up comedy for decades - but she passed away before getting to see him reach new heights with his breakout role. Hey Mom is Louie's way of catching Ora Zella Anderson up on everything that has been going on in his life, including his continued struggles with food and family, but also how so much has changed for the better. He also has plenty of laugh-out-loud stories about his incredibly resilient mother and his 10 siblings, as well as observations on the absurdities of life.
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I love Louie even more now
- By Candace on 05-02-18
By: Louie Anderson
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If It's Not One Thing, It's Your Mother
- By: Julia Sweeney
- Narrated by: Julia Sweeney
- Length: 6 hrs and 39 mins
- Unabridged
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Since her time on Saturday Night Live, where she created the infamous androgynous character "Pat", Julia Sweeney has gone on to establish herself as a witty, captivating performer of one-woman shows, like God Said Ha!, In the Family Way, and Letting Go of God. She gave a TED talk sharing how she explained the birds and the bees to her eight-year-old daughter, Mulan, which ignited an incredible response. Now, when it comes to talking about motherhood, people want to hear what Julia has to say.
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I Love Julia Sweeney
- By Lisa on 04-05-13
By: Julia Sweeney
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What Doesn't Kill You
- By: Virginia DeBerry, Donna Grant
- Narrated by: Virginia DeBerry, Donna Grant
- Length: 10 hrs and 23 mins
- Unabridged
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What Doesn't Kill You is the story of how Thomasina Hodges, a.k.a. Tee, loses her job and finds herself. Tee's evolution after her sudden and unexpected outplacement, is loosely based on the stages of grief - denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance, relinquishing, readjusting, and reinvesting. For Tee, losing her job is like a death, but with time, and some bumps, bruises and a new attitude, she comes out on the other side, having reassessed what's important in her life.
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Simply Amazing
- By Passion on 09-04-21
By: Virginia DeBerry, and others
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Throw Out Fifty Things
- Clear The Clutter, Find Your Life
- By: Gail Blanke
- Narrated by: Gail Blanke
- Length: 3 hrs and 35 mins
- Abridged
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Throw Out Fifty Things is truly an eye-opener. According to Blanke, our lives are so filled with junk from the past--from dried up tubes of crazy glue to old grudges--that's it's a wonder we can get up in the morning, never mind go to work, care for our children and parents, and just put one foot in front of the other. Blanke wants to start a movement of people across America throwing out 50 things (magazines count as one!) that will help liberate us from the stuff - both physical and mental - that clutters our lives.
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So useful, listened to it a 2nd time right away.
- By Zeus on 02-02-10
By: Gail Blanke
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A Little Bit Wicked
- Life, Love, and Faith in Stages
- By: Kristin Chenoweth
- Narrated by: Kristin Chenoweth
- Length: 6 hrs and 51 mins
- Unabridged
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In this frank and funny memoir, the Tony Award-winning star of stage and screen shares her journey from small-town Oklahoma to big-time Broadway, vamping on what it takes to stand firmly on a foundation of family and faith while wearing a hot pair of Jimmy Choo platform sling-backs.
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Salt of the Earth + Sparkles
- By Holly on 10-01-09
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Dear Girls Above Me
- Inspired by a True Story
- By: Charles McDowell
- Narrated by: Kirby Heyborne
- Length: 8 hrs and 1 min
- Unabridged
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When Charlie McDowell began sharing his open letters to his noisy upstairs neighbors - two impossibly ditzy female roommates in their mid-twenties - on Twitter, his feed quickly went viral. His followers multiplied and he got the attention of everyone from celebrities to production studios to major media outlets such as Time and Glamour.
Now Dear Girls breaks out of the 140-character limit as Charlie imagines what would happen if he put the wisdom of the girls to the test.
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An Enjoyable Listen
- By Elle W on 11-05-13
By: Charles McDowell
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The Admissions
- A Novel
- By: Meg Mitchell Moore
- Narrated by: Allyson Ryan
- Length: 14 hrs and 35 mins
- Unabridged
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Performance
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Story
The Hawthorne family has it all. Great jobs, a beautiful house in one of the most affluent areas of Northern California, and three charming kids whose sunny futures are all but assured. And then comes their eldest daughter's senior year of high school....
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Anything for success
- By JillHen on 09-13-15
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I Hate Everyone, Except You
- By: Clinton Kelly
- Narrated by: Clinton Kelly
- Length: 4 hrs and 55 mins
- Unabridged
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Clinton Kelly is probably best known for teaching women how to make their butts look smaller. But in I Hate Everyone, Except You, he reveals some heretofore unknown secrets about himself, like that he's a finicky connoisseur of 1980s pornography, a disillusioned critic of New Jersey's premier water parks, and perhaps the world's least enthused high school commencement speaker.
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Filthy language overshadowed stories
- By Doris on 04-29-17
By: Clinton Kelly
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The Wrong End of the Table
- A Mostly Comic Memoir of a Muslim Arab American Woman Just Trying to Fit In
- By: Ayser Salman, Reza Aslan - foreword
- Narrated by: Ayser Salman, Assaf Cohen
- Length: 7 hrs and 35 mins
- Unabridged
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Part memoir and part how-not-to guide, The Wrong End of the Table is everything you wanted to know about Arabs but were afraid to ask, with chapters such as “Tattoos and Other National Security Risks,” “You Can’t Blame Everything on Your Period; Sometimes You’re Going to Be a Crazy Bitch: and Other Advice from Mom,” and even an open letter to Trump. This is the story of every American outsider on a path to find themselves in a country of beautiful diversity.
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Not what I was looking for
- By Amazon Customer on 09-01-22
By: Ayser Salman, and others
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I'd ask Betty!
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Mindy Kaling has lived many lives: the obedient child of immigrant professionals, a timid chubster afraid of her own bike, a Ben Affleck–impersonating Off-Broadway performer and playwright, and, finally, a comedy writer and actress prone to starting fights with her friends and coworkers with the sentence “Can I just say one last thing about this, and then I swear I’ll shut up about it?”
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If you like Mindy, you'll enjoy this listen.
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Before Liz Lemon, before Weekend Update, before Sarah Palin, Tina Fey was just a young girl with a dream: A recurring stress dream that she was being chased through a local airport by her middle-school gym teacher. She also had a dream that one day she would be a comedian on TV. She has seen both these dreams come true. At last, Tina Fey's story can be told. From her youthful days as a vicious nerd to her tour of duty on Saturday Night Live. Tina Fey reveals all, and proves what we've always suspected: You're no one until someone calls you bossy.
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Tina Fey broke my new SUV
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I don't understand why this was abridged...
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Interesting, but sounds a little entitled at times
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An Amazing and Real Story
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People ask me how come I'm still alive, and I don't know what to say. When I was growing up, if you'd have put me up against a wall with the other kids from my street and asked me which one of us was gonna make it to the age of 60, with five kids and four grandkids and houses in Buckinghamshire and California, I wouldn't have put money on me, no f--king way. But here I am: ready to tell my story, in my own words, for the first time. A lot of it ain't gonna be pretty. I've done some bad things in my time. But I ain't the devil.
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In Why Not Me?, Kaling shares insightful, deeply personal stories about falling in love at work, seeking new friendships in lonely places, attempting to be the first person in history to lose weight without any behavior modification whatsoever, and believing that you have a place in Hollywood when you’re constantly reminded that no one looks like you.
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sad to even be writing this review :(
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In the mid-70s, Steve Martin exploded onto the comedy scene. By 1978 he was the biggest concert draw in the history of stand-up. In 1981 he quit forever. Born Standing Up is, in his own words, the story of "why I did stand-up and why I walked away".
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This Time Together
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This touching and hilarious memoir is 100 percent Carol Burnett—funny, irreverent, and irresistible.Carol Burnett is one of the most beloved and revered actresses and performers in America. The Carol Burnett Show was seen each week by millions of adoring fans and won twenty-five Emmys in its remarkable eleven-year run.
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Do not listen while driving
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Whiskey in a Teacup
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Reese Witherspoon’s grandmother Dorothea always said a combination of beauty and strength made Southern women “whiskey in a teacup”. We may be delicate and ornamental on the outside, she said, but inside, we’re strong and fiery. Reese’s Southern heritage informs her whole life, and she loves sharing the joys of Southern living with practically everyone she meets. She takes the South wherever she goes with bluegrass, big holiday parties, and plenty of Dorothea’s fried chicken.
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Lighthearted... yet predictable and clichéd
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Home Work
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In this follow-up to her critically acclaimed memoir, Home, Julie Andrews shares reflections on her astonishing career, including such classics as Mary Poppins, The Sound of Music, and Victor/Victoria.
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Love Julie, Didn't Love the Memoir
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Inside Out
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For decades, Demi Moore has been synonymous with celebrity. From iconic film roles to high-profile relationships, Moore has never been far from the spotlight - or the headlines. Even as Demi was becoming the highest paid actress in Hollywood, however, she was always outrunning her past. Throughout her rise to fame and during some of the most pivotal moments of her life, Demi battled addiction, body image issues, and childhood trauma that would follow her for years - all while juggling a skyrocketing career and at times negative public perception.
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I loved this Memoir
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By: Demi Moore
What listeners say about Seriously...I'm Kidding
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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Overall
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- Julie
- 10-11-11
Not so much.
I LOVE Ellen...but this book is just boring. About what you would expect to get if someone sat down behind a mic without a script and wanted to kill 3 hours. A few funny parts, but mostly blah. Disappointed!
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62 people found this helpful
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- Kerry
- 01-24-12
Does Audible give refunds?
Any additional comments?
Let me preface: I'm a BIG fan of Ellen. This book, however, was horrible. It was filled with non-sense and ramblings. I skipped entire chapters, multiple times. I do not need to hear Ellen's random thoughts as she sits on a beach. I can do that myself. For free. And I definitely don't want to hear it as I'm on a crowded bus, during my commute.
I thought this would be more thought-provoking, laugh-out-loud funny. Instead it was Ellen digressing in these tangents that annoyed me and didn't even make sense. Have a good listen to the sample first. It doesn't get any better than this, trust me.
I'm disappointed I spent my Audible credit on this. I want my money back.
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44 people found this helpful
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- Olga
- 03-11-12
Love her voice, but expected more insight
Is there anything you would change about this book?
The depth of her stories. I wanted to get to know her better. I bought this book because as a person I find her so appealing. But the book left me wanting more. I felt like listening to Ellen's wonderful voice but a scrpt from Seinfield.
Has Seriously...I'm Kidding turned you off from other books in this genre?
I heard Tina Fey Bossy Pants before and expected a similar experience. The book left me dissapointed. I am now listening to other genre, but it is partly before, aside from Tina and Ellen, none of the other female comediants of my generation appeal me as much as these two. I would listen to another book by Ellen, hopefully deeper and just as funny.
What about Ellen DeGeneres’s performance did you like?
She has a unique voice. Just listening to her voice made me smile.
Do you think Seriously...I'm Kidding needs a follow-up book? Why or why not?
YES. But not to follow-up, but to show the real potential of Ellen as a writter. It left me feeling like this was not the best she could do.
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40 people found this helpful
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- R. Strauss
- 12-19-11
Exactly what you would expect from Ellen
Where does Seriously...I'm Kidding rank among all the audiobooks you’ve listened to so far?
This book is light and funny and I couldn't really tell what the story was. Probably because she's a comedian and her point is to be entertaining. Not a serious book. It's perfect if you are looking for a light, easy, quick read that will make you smile.
What about Ellen DeGeneres’s performance did you like?
She's funny! She speaks funny and writes funny. When you get to hear both at once...it's even better!
If you were to make a film of this book, what would be the tag line be?
Rambling...
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- Stephanie
- 10-07-11
really like ellen but felt like a waste of my time
Would you try another book from Ellen DeGeneres and/or Ellen DeGeneres?
i might reluctantly try another, however only after many many consistently elated reviews
Would you ever listen to anything by Ellen DeGeneres again?
see above
Have you listened to any of Ellen DeGeneres’s other performances before? How does this one compare?
no
You didn’t love this book... but did it have any redeeming qualities?
On balance, this book is positive, light and even plainly silly. In all, these three hours go by well, fast! So that's why I give 5 stars for performance. Ellen maintains the momentum well. She is an engaging speaker.
Any additional comments?
perhaps the title says it all, seriously i'm kidding - that is that there were some funny moments more towards the beginning. The middle just seemed downright page filler. In the absence of more hilariousness, the redeeming factor might have been some somewhat more serious insight into her life and her thoughts and feelings etc. This was my first book by Ellen so I really knew nothing about her before today. I now know that she is neat, punctual, hard working, persistent, affable, did not go to college, thick skinned, positive, good, kind, honest, does not cook, does not clean, loves her wife etc. I didn't get much sense of depth. Sometimes I thought she was going to say something meaningful but I couldn't be sure whether she was serious or not?!! In the middle of the book she really lets you into her stream of thought consciousness. Although I don't know that I'd call it a stream. It is a whirlwind of anecdotal thoughts organized into brief chapters. Average chapter length might be 2-3 minutes. Some 'chapters' are 1-2 sentences. And, then it's over and I'm just like, huh. I like Ellen a lot from what I've seen. She is very positive and more than a bit silly and I wish her well with her show and as an author and modeling etc.
I never much liked seinfeld or family guy or simpsons... maybe you should just wait for more reviews to decide, if you are on the fence. since I don't watch her show, if you do and you love it maybe then you will also appreciate this book. It just wasn't so great for me.
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- Wende Jorgensen
- 10-25-11
Not as Funny as it Should Be...
For the "street cred" that Ellen has a number 1 talk show host and great stand-up comic I expect more from her. I LOVE Ellen so I was so sadly disappointed in the fact that I couldn't even force myself to finish this book. It is boring and I hate to admit it...Stupid. There isn't even a common thread that makes it a story here. It sounds more like she promised a book and then when she didn't have anything to say that hadn't already been said she simply scribbled random thoughts on the page and tried to tie them together somehow. I was seriously disappointed, but I still love her and will watch her show daily, which IS Entertaining and Funny!
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- T
- 06-04-14
Very Entertaining!
Would you consider the audio edition of Seriously...I'm Kidding to be better than the print version?
Absolutely! Hearing Ellen narrate the book made it so much more entertaining and funny as she has such a unique personality.
What was one of the most memorable moments of Seriously...I'm Kidding?
I don't have a favorite. I liked that she covered so many topics.
Did you have an extreme reaction to this book? Did it make you laugh or cry?
This book made me laugh out loud as I was driving down the road.
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- Emma
- 03-18-13
She has nothing to say
Would you try another book from Ellen DeGeneres and/or Ellen DeGeneres?
No
Would you ever listen to anything by Ellen DeGeneres again?
Probably not.
What does Ellen DeGeneres bring to the story that you wouldn’t experience if you just read the book?
Hearing it read by her seems more funny than reading it.
You didn’t love this book... but did it have any redeeming qualities?
Some tiny funny bits.
Any additional comments?
No
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- Beth L.
- 03-29-18
Better live
Would you try another book from Ellen DeGeneres and/or Ellen DeGeneres?
I love Ellen! But no.
What was most disappointing about Ellen DeGeneres’s story?
The book feel flat for me, I just did not find it funny or engaging in strictly audio form and did not finish. Part of the joy of Ellen is how she interacts with others and her audience, that was definitely missing. The type of material that Ellen does best just doesn't work the same without interactions with others and the visual effects of Ellen's facial expressions and body language.
Who would you have cast as narrator instead of Ellen DeGeneres?
No one, she is the best at doing her own material.
You didn’t love this book... but did it have any redeeming qualities?
I still love Ellen.
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- Flowerpower19
- 03-29-12
Thought it would be funnier.
What disappointed you about Seriously...I'm Kidding?
It was not as funny as her show. Maybe the ambience during the show makes her funnier.
What was most disappointing about Ellen DeGeneres’s story?
It started out well but fizzled toward the end.
What do you think the narrator could have done better?
The narration was OK.
If you could play editor, what scene or scenes would you have cut from Seriously...I'm Kidding?
Quite a few after two-thirds of the book.
Any additional comments?
I still like her humor, just not in book form.
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