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Don't Make a Black Woman Take Off Her Earrings
- Narrated by: Tyler Perry
- Length: 4 hrs and 38 mins
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Don't Make a Black Woman Take Off Her Earrings
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Publisher's summary
If you can count on one thing from "Madea" Mabel Simmons, star of the smash hits Diary of a Mad Black Woman and Madea's Family Reunion, it's that she's got something to say. For as long as people can remember, Madea has been in the neighborhood - she's the beloved, hilarious, sharp-witted, pistol-packing grandmother who's watching out and speaking her mind.
Now Madea is telling her own story, dishing her memoirs and hard-won, hilarious wisdom in her own inimitable voice (with a little help from her friend Tyler Perry). Madea covers every topic you want to hear her on, from the art of flirting, to love and marriage (sometimes two very separate topics), and raising kids (including the full story on the bag o' belts).
She also opines on beauty tips (featuring her indispensable advice on the miraculous benefits of Vasoline), the healthy choice of a deep-fried diet, and the Bible (including her favorite Bible story, as you have definitely never heard it before) - and pretty much everything else.
Madea has lived quite a life, and she has some stories to tell. And they're all here. As she's fond of saying, "Sometimes life is hard, and you have to laugh your way through it."
Critic reviews
"Inimitable." (Ebony)
"Hilarious." (The New York Times Book Review)
"Wicked." (Entertainment Weekly)
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5 out of 5 stars
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This is the most amazing book I’ve ever read!
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By: Bertice Berry
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Ask Wendy
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- Narrated by: Wendy Williams
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 99
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Story4 out of 5 stars 97
On TV, Wendy only has a few minutes to respond to each audience member, but in Ask Wendy she goes deeper, answering questions sourced from viewers across the country. No question is off-limits and no situation is too outrageous for her to take on. Wendy shoots straight from those womanly hips of hers to help you manage all the crazy that comes into your life - keepin' it real by drawing on the personal experiences that have shaped her unique perspective.
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5 out of 5 stars
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HIlarious
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By: Wendy Williams
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If It Ain’t One Thing
- By: Cheryl Robinson
- Narrated by: Karen Chilton
- Length: 12 hrs and 16 mins
- Unabridged
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 102
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 100
Cheryl Robinson, a bright voice in African-American fiction, delivers a fresh tale of love in the modern world. Porter is a handsome Detroit firefighter who just got burned by his cheating girlfriend. Winona is a single mom who is getting by despite an old secret that haunts her. When Porter and Winona meet, they must face their pasts to allow their present romance to grow.
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4 out of 5 stars
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Good listen
- By Brad on 06-29-10
By: Cheryl Robinson
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Ellen Foster
- By: Kaye Gibbons
- Narrated by: Ruth Ann Phimister
- Length: 3 hrs and 51 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 108
-
Performance4 out of 5 stars 95
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Story4 out of 5 stars 95
"When I was little I would think of ways to kill my daddy. I would figure out this or that way and run it down through my head until it got easy." So begins the tale of Ellen Foster, the brave and engaging heroine of Kaye Gibbons's first novel, which won the Sue Kaufman Prize from the American Academy and Institute of Arts and Letters. Wise, funny, affectionate and true, Ellen Foster is, as Walker Percy called it, "The real thing. Which is to say, a lovely, sometimes heart/wrenching novel...."
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5 out of 5 stars
-
Great!!
- By Jo on 04-06-18
By: Kaye Gibbons
-
Kiss and Tell
- By: Shannon Tweed, Jules McCarron
- Narrated by: Shannon Tweed
- Length: 3 hrs and 51 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 352
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 287
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 282
In this long-awaited autobiography, one of the most beautiful women in the world tells her story, from growing up on a mink ranch in Newfoundland with six brothers and sisters to raising two children with a rock star in Beverly Hills. One of the most popular and best-known Playboy pin-ups ever, Shannon Tweed burst on the scene in the 80s as Playmate of the Year and Hugh Hefner's love interest. She soon became a successful actress, appearing in countless movies and television series.
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4 out of 5 stars
-
Interesting listen.
- By KRG on 01-22-11
By: Shannon Tweed, and others
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Tiger, Tiger
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- Narrated by: Susan Bennett
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 223
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 190
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 190
One summer day, Margaux Fragoso meets Peter Curran at the neighborhood swimming pool, and they begin to play. She is seven; he is 51. When Peter invites her and her mother to his house, the little girl finds a child’s paradise of exotic pets and an elaborate backyard garden. Her mother, beset by mental illness and overwhelmed by caring for Margaux, is grateful for the attention Peter lavishes on her, and he creates an imaginative universe for her, much as Lewis Carroll did for his real-life Alice.
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3 out of 5 stars
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a weirdly loving diatribe against pervs.
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Go Ask Alice
- By: Anonymous
- Narrated by: Christina Moore
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Life at 15 isn't easy for a girl if she's shy and hates the way she looks. Each day is heaven or hell, depending on who talks to her, or who doesn't. So when she's finally accepted by a group, she doesn't refuse their party games, even if it means taking LSD. Soon she's taking little pills to wake up and others to go to sleep, and the days begin to blur. Based on a 15-year-old's diary, Go Ask Alice is the intimate account of one girl's fatal journey into the world of drug addiction.
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1 out of 5 stars
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WE WERE ALL LIED TO. THIS IS FICTION PEOPLE!!!
- By Sharron on 05-09-14
By: Anonymous
-
Behind Closed Doors
- By: Kimberla Lawson Roby
- Narrated by: Madison Vaughn
- Length: 6 hrs and 12 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 498
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 427
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 429
Regina Moore and Karen Jackson, lifelong best friends, are living the kind of lives about which most women only fantasize. With beautiful homes, fulfilling careers, and two adoring husbands, their joy could not be greater, their worlds could not be richer. But suddenly, shattering truths about the loving men they thought they knew turn happiness into anguish and rage.
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2 out of 5 stars
-
Not my favorite!
- By Christiana on 02-14-17
-
#IMomSoHard
- By: Kristin Hensley, Jen Smedley
- Narrated by: Kristin Hensley, Jen Smedley
- Length: 7 hrs and 19 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall5 out of 5 stars 1,802
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars 1,578
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 1,566
In their highly anticipated first audiobook, the hilarious mom duo with millions of followers explores all the ridiculous shit you’re expected to do to keep multiple humans alive and happy-ish and celebrates the love for the friends who get you through it.
-
5 out of 5 stars
-
IRelateSoHard
- By Peekablue on 04-20-19
By: Kristin Hensley, and others
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Manchild in the Promised Land
- By: Claude Brown
- Narrated by: Cary Hite
- Length: 17 hrs and 48 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall5 out of 5 stars 186
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars 163
-
Story5 out of 5 stars 162
Published during a literary era marked by the ascendance of Black writers such as Richard Wright, Ralph Ellison, James Baldwin, and Alex Haley, this thinly fictionalized account of Claude Brown’s childhood as a hardened, streetwise criminal trying to survive the toughest streets of Harlem has been heralded as the definitive account of everyday life for the first generation of African Americans raised in the Northern ghettos of the 1940s and 1950s.
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5 out of 5 stars
-
Powerful and revealing
- By Anonymous User on 05-20-20
By: Claude Brown
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The Sweet By and By
- A Novel
- By: Todd Johnson
- Narrated by: Becky Ann Baker, Adriane Lenox, Robin Miles, and others
- Length: 10 hrs and 6 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 90
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 65
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 65
Among the longleaf pines and family farms of eastern North Carolina, days seem to pass without incident for Margaret Clayton and Bernice Stokes until they discover each other in a friendship that will take them on the most important journey of their lives. Margaret, droll and whip smart, has a will of iron that never fails her even when her body does, while Bernice, an avid country-music fan, is rarely lucid.
-
3 out of 5 stars
-
Great 2/3 of a book.
- By Tracy on 07-09-12
By: Todd Johnson
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Hey Mom
- By: Louie Anderson
- Narrated by: Louie Anderson
- Length: 6 hrs and 1 min
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 438
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars 400
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 398
Louie Anderson has been channeling his beloved mom in his iconic stand-up comedy for decades - but she passed away before getting to see him reach new heights with his breakout role. Hey Mom is Louie's way of catching Ora Zella Anderson up on everything that has been going on in his life, including his continued struggles with food and family, but also how so much has changed for the better. He also has plenty of laugh-out-loud stories about his incredibly resilient mother and his 10 siblings, as well as observations on the absurdities of life.
-
5 out of 5 stars
-
I love Louie even more now
- By Candace on 05-02-18
By: Louie Anderson
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Rabbit
- The Autobiography of Ms. Pat
- By: Patricia Williams, Jeannine Amber
- Narrated by: Patricia Williams
- Length: 7 hrs and 23 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall5 out of 5 stars 7,136
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 6,399
-
Story5 out of 5 stars 6,402
One of five children, Pat watched as her alcoholic mother struggled to get by on charity, cons, and petty crimes. At age seven, Pat was taught to roll drunks for money. At 12, she was targeted for sex by a man eight years her senior; by 13, she was pregnant. By 15, Pat was a mother of two. Alone at 16, Pat was determined to make a better life for her children. But with no job skills and an eighth-grade education, her options were limited. She learned quickly that hustling and humor were the only tools she had to survive.
-
4 out of 5 stars
-
Amazing story but dry reading
- By SpazzyMaggee on 11-03-17
By: Patricia Williams, and others
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Because I Come from a Crazy Family
- The Making of a Psychiatrist
- By: Edward M. Hallowell
- Narrated by: Paul Boehmer
- Length: 13 hrs and 41 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 87
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 80
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 79
When Edward M. Hallowell was 11, a voice out of nowhere told him he should become a psychiatrist. A mental health professional of the time would have called this psychosis. But young Edward (Ned) took it in stride, despite not quite knowing what "psychiatrist" meant. With a psychotic father, an alcoholic mother, an abusive stepfather, and two so-called learning disabilities of his own, Ned was accustomed to unpredictable behaviour from those around him and to a mind he felt he couldn't always control.
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5 out of 5 stars
-
Love and connection permeates through this book!
- By Steve Steinmetz on 06-29-18
-
I Can Barely Take Care of Myself
- Tales from a Happy Life Without Kids
- By: Jen Kirkman
- Narrated by: Jen Kirkman
- Length: 6 hrs and 20 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 536
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 485
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 486
"You'll change your mind." That's what everyone says to Jen Kirkman - and countless women like her - when she confesses she doesn't plan to have children. But you know what? It's hard enough to be an adult. You have to dress yourself and pay bills and remember to buy birthday gifts. You have to drive and get annual physicals and tip for good service. Some adults take on the added burden of caring for a tiny human being with no language skills or bladder control.
-
4 out of 5 stars
-
Funny. Not fall down laughing funny, but funny
- By david on 05-22-13
By: Jen Kirkman
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👏🏾👏🏾 thank you. Thank You. THANK YOU!! #BRAVO
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I Don't Care If You Like Me, I Like Me
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- Narrated by: Reggie Reg, Rhonda R. McCullough
- Length: 16 hrs and 53 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 13
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 10
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 10
You got yourself a dream? You got a vision? There ain’t no sugarcoatin’ it. The only one who’s gonna make it happen is you, but this book is gonna help. It’s alright—we all need a little help once in a while. I Don’t Care if You Like Me, I Like Me is 365 days of Bernie Mac tellin’ it like it T-I-Iz. You gonna be gettin’ some of his best advice, his personal stories showin’ y’all that what he’s tellin’ you works, and some commentary from Rhonda ’cuz that woman knows what's up.
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1 out of 5 stars
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First time Ever-Long time Living-only review
- By P. S. ...🍂🍃🌞🍃🍂 on 06-22-22
By: Bernie Mac, and others
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We Over Me
- The Counterintuitive Approach to Getting Everything You Want from Your Relationship
- By: Khadeen Ellis, Devale Ellis
- Narrated by: Khadeen Ellis, Devale Ellis
- Length: 6 hrs and 40 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall5 out of 5 stars 888
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 837
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Story5 out of 5 stars 836
After twelve years of marriage, twenty years together, and four kids, Devale and Khadeen Ellis have been through a lot. They’ve loved their way through a long-distance relationship, financial instability, parenthood, Khadeen’s near-death, and their near-divorce, chronicling their day-to-day life with their boys online. After much trial and error, they hit upon one surprising, essential truth: If you’re looking for a healthy relationship and a fulfilling life, focus on your partner’s needs instead of your wants.
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5 out of 5 stars
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I enjoyed every minute of this book
- By Freddrick Smooth on 04-30-23
By: Khadeen Ellis, and others
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The Meaning of Mariah Carey
- By: Mariah Carey
- Narrated by: Mariah Carey
- Length: 11 hrs and 17 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall5 out of 5 stars 12,987
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 11,501
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Story5 out of 5 stars 11,455
It took me a lifetime to have the courage and the clarity to write my memoir. I want to tell the story of the moments - the ups and downs, the triumphs and traumas, the debacles and the dreams - that contributed to the person I am today. This book is composed of my memories, my mishaps, my struggles, my survival, and my songs. Unfiltered. I went deep into my childhood and gave the scared little girl inside of me a big voice. I let the abandoned and ambitious adolescent have her say, and the betrayed and triumphant woman I became tell her side.
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3 out of 5 stars
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Entertaining glitz glam smoke and mirrors - not the whole story.
- By Anonymous User on 10-04-20
By: Mariah Carey
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What I Know for Sure
- By: Oprah Winfrey
- Narrated by: Oprah Winfrey
- Length: 3 hrs and 53 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall5 out of 5 stars 10,401
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 8,878
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Story5 out of 5 stars 8,819
After film critic Gene Siskel asked her, "What do you know for sure?" Oprah Winfrey began writing the "What I Know for Sure" column in O, The Oprah Magazine. Saying that the question offered her a way to take "stock of her life", Oprah has penned one column a month over the last 14 years.
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5 out of 5 stars
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This one takes the cake
- By Destinee on 11-28-14
By: Oprah Winfrey
What listeners say about Don't Make a Black Woman Take Off Her Earrings
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Diane
- 02-21-23
Thoroughly Enjoyed
listen to this with my friend each day that we work together and we both laughed through the whole thing. Got to love anything Tyler Perry does, because it's always with his whole heart, humor, and straight to the point. we need more men like him. such a wonderful soul. if I ever have the privilege to meet him, it will definitely be one of the most memorable days of my life. Now I'll listen to the other book!
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Overall4 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story4 out of 5 stars
- deborah woods
- 09-20-23
Nice listen!
I listened to this audio while on a road trip.. funny yet informative in a madea way! Enjoyed every minute of this book!
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
- Daphne
- 03-05-07
Crazy Crazy Crazy Mother Dear
I loved all of the plays and movies, but to hear Madea on audio was hilarious. Tyler makes valid points in a humorous way. I hope he makes another audio book.
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8 people found this helpful
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Overall4 out of 5 stars
- Jessica
- 08-29-08
Cute funny listen . . .
This was cute because the author really sounds like an old black woman. You forget it is a guy talking. A little tedious at the end when she seems to be lecturing on behavior, and has a few four letter words- which I did a search looking specifically for clean comedy. Oh well, over all pretty funny.
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5 people found this helpful
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- jessica shorts
- 01-21-16
something to laugh at and lessons learned
love it but I like stories with characters. Tyler Perry's voice is calming and sweet.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
- Yolanda
- 02-08-16
good read
loved it this book was the truth and I loooove Madear..Tyler Perry is the best...
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Grandma Vic
- 03-06-12
I laugh till I cried!
Would you listen to Don't Make a Black Woman Take Off Her Earrings again? Why?
I have listened to it at least 3 times already. Whenever I don't have another book to listen to I know I will be entertained with this one again and again.
Who was your favorite character and why?
This really does not apply because there is only one character
Which scene was your favorite?
Vaseline - anytime she mentions it I just crack up.
Was this a book you wanted to listen to all in one sitting?
No.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Isabel Moreno
- 04-08-16
love this audio book
I love love love the way Tyler Perry narrated it in the Madea voice!!! I like how he or she lol teaches you so much but keeps it funny.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story4 out of 5 stars
- jc
- 12-24-16
You are funny
Hello Tyler, Thank you for your humor. I saw you on Td Jakes. I heard you say one day you were going to get rid of madea one day. Do you enjoy doing the character? Or is it difficult for you to do the character?
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Anonymous User
- 09-19-18
MADEA GONE TELL IT!!!
GREAT NARRATION!
A MUST HAVE!
GREAT LAUGHTER!
I APPRECIATED IT TRULY!
I LOVED IT SO!
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