Far from the Tree

Parents, Children and the Search for Identity

By: Andrew Solomon

Narrated by: Andrew Solomon

Length: 40 hrs and 37 mins

Publisher's summary

National Book Critics Circle Award, Nonfiction, 2013

From the National Book Award-winning author of the "brave...deeply humane...open-minded, critically informed, and poetic" (The New York Times) The Noonday Demon, comes a game-changer of a book about the impact of extreme personal and cultural difference between parents and children.

A brilliant and utterly original thinker, Andrew Solomon's journey began from his experience of being the gay child of straight parents. He wondered how other families accommodate children who have a variety of differences: families of people who are deaf, who are dwarfs, who have Down syndrome, who have autism, who have schizophrenia, who have multiple severe disabilities, who are prodigies, who commit crimes, who are transgender. Bookended with Solomon's experiences as a son, and then later as a father, this book explores the old adage that says the apple doesn't fall far from the tree; instead some apples fall a couple of orchards away, some on the other side of the world.

In 12 sharply observed and moving chapters, Solomon describes individuals who have been heartbreaking victims of intense prejudice, but also stories of parents who have embraced their childrens' differences and tried to change the world's understanding of their conditions. Solomon's humanity, eloquence, and compassion give a voice to those people who are never heard. A riveting, powerful take on a major social issue, Far from the Tree offers far-reaching conclusions about new families, academia, and the way our culture addresses issues of illness and identity.

©2012 Andrew Solomon (P)2012 Simon & Schuster, Inc

Critic reviews

"In Far from the Tree, Andrew Solomon reminds us that nothing is more powerful in a child's development than the love of a parent. This remarkable new book introduces us to mothers and fathers across America - many in circumstances the rest of us can hardly imagine - who are making their children feel special, no matter what challenges come their way." (President Bill Clinton)

"This is one of the most extraordinary books I have read in recent times - brave, compassionate and astonishingly humane. Solomon approaches one of the oldest questions - how much are we defined by nature versus nurture? - and crafts from it a gripping narrative. Through his stories, told with such masterful delicacy and lucidity, we learn how different we all are, and how achingly similar. I could not put this book down." (Siddhartha Mukherjee, Pulitzer Prize-winning author of The Emperor of All Maladies)

"An informative and moving book that raises profound issues regarding the nature of love, the value of human life, and the future of humanity." (Kirkus)

Profound examination of parenting

Such a beautifully written and moving work. It combines a rich amount of information about a variety of people and identities I was unfamiliar with (I.e. I learned a lot about deafness and deaf culture) and also such amazing family portraits and interviews. The performance was generally clear and well read though occasionally the author's tone came across as droll or mismatched to either the tone or the accents and intonation of the quotations. I have been recommending this book far and wide and feel like it will stay with me for a long time.

Walk a mile in many different shoes...

Be ready to learn a lot as this book was written by interview after interview with people who are different or parents of children who are different or both. It is not written to be entertaining, at least in my view, it was written to teach and teach me it did, in abundance. Amazing perspectives if you are open-minded enough to put yourself in someone elses shoes as you read and not judge.

important and very difficult subject

this was an eye opening book about topics I didn't want to have to think about. My girlfriend watched a documentary based on this book and thought it would be up my alley. I am a carpenter and can listen to books while I work. it was up my alley. my alley can be very dark. I do want to engage in the difficult topics of life. I do want to be more accepting of people and their struggles. it is sad how easy it is for me to close my eyes to peoples pain. To my own pain. this book was endlessly prying open my closed eyes. it was gut wrenching and I have to confess I skipped half of the progity and rape chapters and all of crime because I couldn't take it any more. It was very painful and has me wondering about my own difficult parents and grown child who is not doing very well. or perhaps she is perfectly disasterous. Life is suffering and through the suffering there is love, joy, pain and beauty. it was a hard book. I hope my eyes stay open.

Well told story on diversity

I did not realize their existed so much diversity within each group discussed. Very informative with a wonderful story line. Loved listening to this on my commute to work. There were so many emotions I experienced while listening.

Wow.

I had recognized Andrew Solomon from his Ted Talks and decided I should listen to his audiobook. I wasn't prepared for all of the emotions and sparks of recognition in my own family. The chapter about autism within who's families I saw reflections of the relationship between my mother, my brother and myself . It reinforces the suspicion we all have had that our family "isn't normal" while also bringing forward a feeling of community and connection. This book chronicles the lives of so many interesting and beautiful people so intimately that you come out of each story with a deeper compassion for not only friends and family, but strangers on the street when you realize that they may be living a life next door to you that you would never be able to imagine. I frequently found myself in tears on the bus or in laundry mats listening to this book. I cannot recommend it enough.

un viaje increíble!! super recomendado

como madre de un niño con lesión cerebral este libro sacudió cada fibra dentro de mi. Un trabajo magnífico de investigación donde Andrew nos lleva por todos los extraños mundos de lo "anormal" en nuestra sociedad y reivindica la autonomía y el valor de todos los niños y jóvenes diferentes. Veo a mi hijo y a los niños con los quien trabajo con otros ojos y me siento orgullosa de ser parte de este grupo selecto de padres quiénes vemos la belleza de lo imperfecto y amamos el reto de estas vidas. Gracias Andrew por recordarle al mundo la dignidad de todos los seres humanos!

I wish chapters had names

I didn't realize I had seen this documentary already. An autism mom friend said the "autism chapter" in this book was helpful to her. But I cannot find it and the numbered chapters dont really give any idea how to find it.

Interesting material and as author mentions in the book "we all think our thing is the most important" I'll keep skipping around in hopes of hearing the parts that pertain to my family the most. Otherwise I know it is a good book since the documentary was good and the author is clearly likable.

Brilliant in most every way

So very well done. Tears, joy, knowledge, and most of all depth of understanding and passion.

Parenting a Different Child/Astounding Book

The morning of December 14, 2012, I had a long drive and intermittent NPR stations, so I continued to listen to "Far From the Tree". The printed book is 702 pages long, and it's about 40 Audible hours. I was on Chapter X, Crime.

The book is beautifully narrated, and author/narrator Andrew Solomon's pronounciation of difficult terms is flawless. Even so, it's a difficult listen.

I have often wished that Audible had a true Table of Contents, and never more than with this book. The chapters are (with thanks to Amazon print) I. Son; II.Deaf III. Dwarfs IV. Downs Syndrome V. Autism VI. Schizophrenia VII. Disabilities VIII. Prodigies IX. Rape X. Crime XI. Transgender XII. Father.

Each section could, on its own, be a separate book - with the exception of I. Son and XII. Father - combine those two, and those would make a book.

Dwight Garner and Julie Meyer, writing separate reviews for the New York Times in November, love the book unreservedly. After listening to "Columbine", I was thinking of using a credit for this new book. I purchased "Far From the Tree" right after reading Meyer's rhapsodic review.

I am the mother of two teenagers who would not be in any of Solomon's chapters, but each and every section made me ache with my love for them. The challenges of normal teenagers, with raging hormones, lightning fast mood changes, and their sudden bursts of astounding clarity pale in comparison to what Solomon's families face. I am a better parent to them knowing that they are 'normal'.

I'm not a physician, sociologist or therapist - I'm just a Mom. I gained real confidence in trying my best to be a good Mom from this book. It was the best 'parenting' book I've read since "What to Expect When You're Expecting" by Heidi Muroff and Sharon Mazel. The books are entirely different, but reading them has the same effect. I am more (not less) confident about my mothering because of these books.

Which brings me back to December 14, 2012, the day of the Newtown/Sandy Hook mass murder. I have been wondering since then whether Sue Klebold, if given the choice, would have rather have been in Nancy Lanza's position - killed before she knew what her son did. I suspect not, and I hope Solomon can answer the queston for us.


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Worldview Shift

What made the experience of listening to Far from the Tree the most enjoyable?

Recieving a new, different perspective on human diversity.

What didn’t you like about Andrew Solomon’s performance?

At first I actually thought is was a robot reader. He is flat, choppy, and sounds like a synthetic voice. I've heard him give interviews and he was vibrant and engaged; however, not so in the reading. I acatually considered not listening, but the content is worth putting up with the performance.

Hire a professional performer so the reading is as good as the content.

What’s an idea from the book that you will remember?

Growth occurs through connecting with all that is possible within any human.

Any additional comments?

A book that will change lives.