The Girls Who Went Away

The Hidden History of Women Who Surrendered Children for Adoption in the Decades Before Roe v. Wade

By: Ann Fessler

Narrated by: Coleen Marlo

Length: 12 hrs and 37 mins

Publisher's summary

In this deeply moving and myth-shattering work, Ann Fessler brings out into the open for the first time the astonishing untold history of the million and a half women who surrendered children for adoption due to enormous family and social pressure in the decades before Roe v. Wade. An adoptee who was herself surrendered during those years and recently made contact with her mother, Fessler brilliantly brings to life the voices of more than 100 women as well as the spirit of those times, allowing the women to tell their stories in gripping and intimate detail.

©2006 Ann H. Fessler (P)2016 Tantor

Critic reviews

"Fessler recounts her own journey to find and reunite with her birth mother in this heartrending look at the untold story of American women compelled to surrender their children." ( Booklist)

Sad but True ... and Helpful

What did you love best about The Girls Who Went Away?

The stories were heartwrenching. Each of them different but all connected in the heartache. I have my own story, and it's different and yet the same. It was healing for me and I recommend, HIGHLY recommend this book to anyone who has given up and I use 'given up' purposefully, their baby for adoption.

What did you like best about this story?

The honesty. The chance for a happy ending.

What does Coleen Marlo bring to the story that you wouldn’t experience if you just read the book?

This was my first audio book so it's hard for me to answer, but I enjoyed the listening.

What’s the most interesting tidbit you’ve picked up from this book?

There are a lot of secrets out there. A lot of young girls being shamed and traumatized by the way society views teen pregnancy and it's so unfair. These girls were just the ones who got found out, all the girls, or most of them anyway were having sex.

Any additional comments?

I read this book as recommended by my social worker as I was working on finding my son. It was like I had a friend and I highly recommend it. P.S. I found my son and life is good. Next week for the first time in 40 years I get to wish him a happy birthday. Can not wait!!

Very Healing....

This book is another step toward healing for me. Especially those speaking to the inability to attach to people... wow! It makes so much sense! My mother was always secretive about my beginnings. Lied about it. Made stuff up. I’ve pieced the facts together and now I realize she was sent away to a Florence Critteton home in Charlotte, NC. This book provides my first honest glimpse at what my mother may have experienced in the unwed mother’s home in 1972!!! I just remembered a ceramic cat she kept that’s probably from the crafts she participated in? My grandmother talked her into keeping me and hindsight informs me that was probably a mistake. Some people shouldn’t have children, but despite her flawed character, I can sympathize with her and forgive her for always putting herself before me. I found my father in 2018 via dna genealogy and he is great! He never knew about me. He gave me the truth and honesty I always craved. We both served in the Air Force and I finally found people I resemble. I even found cousins on my mother’s side who had similar experiences, but were adopted. I’m grateful. I’m grateful for Ann and others for telling their stories. Thank you! It’s healing.

Must Read for Adoptees

I was adopted in 1971 and read this book at the urging of a fellow adoptee. This has been so eye opening and is a must read for anyone adopted. I’ve always had a great respect for my birth mother and what she must have endured to give me life. My Mom always spoke of her in a very positive light. Adoption was very normal and positive in our home. After reading this book, I find myself wanting to get over my fears and really search for her. Thank you to all the brave women who shared their stories with Ann Fessler - you have raised the shades on what really happened to the girls who went away.

A must read for birth moms and adoptees!

As an adoptee, currently searching for my birth mother, this was an invaluable resource to help me prepare for whatever I find. I am overwhelmed with sadness of how cruel and insensitive the treatment of unwed mothers was during this era. I had no idea. Thank you Ms Fessler for shedding the light on this important topic and for the women having the willingness to tell their stories. I hope and pray women who endured this travesty find some sense of solace in knowing their story is finally being told!

Thank you!

Healing - cathartic

I highly recommend this book to adoptees, birthmothers and anyone who knows someone in the adoption triangle. Without any exaggeration As a birthmother myself it has changed if not saved my life.

Great Book

These true stories were difficult to hear at times. But everybody should know what these women went through. I am an adoptee and I am so glad I read this book.

wow....I am an adoptee and a birthmom

it was an intense emotional book. it put words to some of the struggles I had in my heart that I didn't have words for before. it opened my heart to the women who suffer in silence. it gave me a new perspective on my birthmom and my brothers birthmom.

Great book

Great book. It is detailed in the accounts and life style of the era of the time. It gave me a better understanding of why children were given up

Haunting and heartfelt

I loved this documentary. Opened my eyes to the harsh realities faced by women of past generations and gave me a new perspective on adoption!

I lost my son to the modern industry of adoption in 2008

I am so incredibly grateful to Ann Fessler for interviewing all of these mothers and writing this book.

I was raised in conservative evangelicalism. I was shamed for my body and not taught about my fertility or how to protect myself but rather that it was my duty to protect men from temptation. When I fell in love and became pregnant at 17, I was so afraid and ashamed. My parents sent me away to a maternity home that was attached to an adoption agency. You see I had never been given any freedoms or agency in my life and the one secret thing I did resulted in ultimate shame on my family, so it was easy for the maternity home and my parents to shame me into relinquishment. I begged to be allowed to keep my son but I was told no by every authority figure involved and I didn’t know enough to fight harder than I did. I did everything I could think of to keep my son but I failed to find my voice, my power before it was too late. I live in so much grief. Adoption facilitators are still able to function today as they did during the baby scoop era. Only today, millions less unprepared women get or remain pregnant thanks to birth control, plan b pill and abortion access.

Thank you for exposing the truth Ann Fessler 🧡