• Before You Split

  • Find What You Really Want for the Future of Your Marriage
  • By: Toni Nieuwhof
  • Narrated by: Toni Nieuwhof
  • Length: 6 hrs and 40 mins
  • 4.8 out of 5 stars (46 ratings)

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Before You Split  By  cover art

Before You Split

By: Toni Nieuwhof
Narrated by: Toni Nieuwhof
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Publisher's Summary

A former divorce attorney lays out the hidden benefits of staying together, whether you’re frustrated with your marriage, on the brink of giving up completely, or simply want to strengthen your relationship to withstand the inevitable hard times.

“Toni Nieuwhof is the guide you’ve been waiting for. Deeply wise, genuinely empathetic, and uncommonly insightful, Toni is a fresh voice with tried and true experience that offers a proven roadmap.” (Ann Voskamp, New York Times best-selling author of The Broken Way and One Thousand Gifts)

If you’ve ever wanted to say, “I can’t do this anymore!” out of frustration with your marriage, you’re definitely not alone.

In this practical and insightful guide, former divorce attorney Toni Nieuwhof shows that even if you feel disconnected or stuck in your troubled marriage - and worry about its impact on your kids - there is a way forward.

Before You Split helps you find what you really want from your marriage and how to move forward to a better future by:

  • seeing yourself and your spouse more clearly
  • dealing with unrealistic expectations
  • empowering you with constructive ways to respond to difficult emotions
  • engaging the power of forgiveness
  • increasing your peacemaking skills
  • advancing your journey of personal growth

Even if it feels like it’s over, it’s not too late. Change takes place one step at a time. Before You Split will help you make choices with your eyes wide open.

©2021 Toni Nieuwhof (P)2021 Random House Audio

Critic Reviews

“Divorce is a serious decision with lifelong consequences. Toni has given people an excellent way to hit the pause button and really consider what is best. Thank you, Toni, for this contribution to such a difficult process.” (Dr. Henry Cloud, clinical psychologist and author)

“Toni Nieuwhof’s Before You Split offers practical guidance and time-tested advice to make it through the messy middle while building the marriage you’ve always wanted. If you’ve ever thought, I wonder what it would take to make my marriage awesome, then read this book.” (Jon Acuff, New York Times best-selling author of Finish

“If you’re stuck in your marriage or know someone who is, Before You Split is the practical help you’re looking for. Toni Nieuwhof is not only someone we trust personally, but she’s also a voice that needs to be heard when more couples than ever find themselves struggling in ways they never expected.” (Mark Batterson, New York Times best-selling author and lead pastor of National Community Church) 

What listeners say about Before You Split

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Opens your eyes to things you probably never thought about

Explains Scenarios almost a tea but it happened in my relationship gave suggestions and how to resolve or mitigate the issues. Explains how to deal with some of the emotions that sometimes seam overwhelming. The book will explain way to handle situation gives examples on what to do moving forward of followed without a doubt if both parties in the relationship follow and put in the same effort should save any marriage. I like that it does mention religion but does not push it onto and does not make you feel uncomfortable or feel like she is is putting you down because your not a religious person.

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Great Book

This is a great book to restore a marriage. My wife has filed for divorce and I sent this book to her. Now I can only pray that she listens and changes her mind.

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Vulnerable, authentic, with practical advice

I loved this book! Toni speaks openly and honestly about the turbulent years in her marriage to a well known pastor. I found her telling of the ugly parts of their marriage and taking ownership of the parts she played, was nothing less than courageous. Anyone who's married can relate to some part of the struggle, and it shows us that pastors and their wives are not exempt from the promise of 1 Corinthians 7:28b [NIV]. It says "But those who marry will face many troubles in life" I admire her for sharing and shedding the light on a topic most people want to hide from friends and family. I'm sure Toni has changed the trajectory of some marriages through her vulnerability. I will recommend this to anyone I know who is experiencing an "unhappy" marriage. Thank you for writing this book. it will benefit many.

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OUTSTANDING!

For anyone with a marriage that’s struggling, or anyone who helps struggling marriages, Before You Split is a must-read!

The mix of personal and professional experience that Toni offers is incredible.

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Essential Reading for Marriages In Distress

This book is essential reading for any and every marriage, especially those in distress. Wise insight coupled with practical application makes this one of the most helpful books on marriage I’ve read in some time. Read it asap.

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Excellent and insightful

I would recommend to anyone contemplating divorce, separation or desperate for a change in your marriage.

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Great applicable advice

Toni has a great way of helping one uncover feelings, options and ideas not necessarily easily to discover. Her insight has been invaluable to me.

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Great Listen

well done, hits home to so many different feelings you have when you are struggling.

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Invaluable reacource

Tonie does a masterful job of explaining in an honest and detailed way how devastating a divorce can be. Using research from the Gottman Institute as well as her own anecdotal stories, Tonie explains the three options one has as the subject of divorce is brought up. Her faith based approach has merit as well as wisdom. I’m so glad I have chosen to save my marriage and implement the tools Tonie gives to help
My marriage endure the rest of time.

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Must Read

this book was right on time for my marriage! it was just what I needed to hear. thank you so much for being transparent!