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Publisher's Summary

I wrote this book after 25 years of working with military couples in various stages of divorce. As a psychologist, the pressure was always on to find ways to help patients embrace the suck of separation and make tracks for firm ground. 

In the military, you learn to adapt to pain and grow from it. During boot camp, pain teaches you to believe in yourself. Survival training uses pain to teach problem-solving. But how do you thrive when faced with the mother of all pain - an unwanted divorce? Has anyone developed training for that? 

We have. 

My husband, Joe Foster (best-selling author of In Movement There Is Peace) and I have collected hundreds of therapy cases where one person wanted a divorce and the other didn’t. To make it into this audiobook, the strategies had to prove successful in real people’s lives to create radical change. The result is an indispensable survival guide for people who don’t want to divorce and don’t know what to do about it. 

Using true-life stories and daily practices, you’ll discover: 

  • Why your relationship slammed into a brick wall and what you can do about it 
  • The truth about what your spouse is really running away from (hint: it’s not you) 
  • What happened to your husband/wife and who that stranger is that’s posing as them 
  • Secrets to radical acceptance that help you stay in control no matter what your spouse throws at you

PLEASE NOTE: When you purchase this title, the accompanying PDF will be available in your Audible Library along with the audio.

©2017 Elaine Orabona Foster (P)2018 Elaine Orabona Foster

What listeners say about I Wish I Knew This Before My Divorce

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Didn't want it to End

He was talking straight to me!! I recommend this book to anyone going through a separation that they didn't ask for. After 21yrs my husband walked out, moved out, and checked out. It's been 5 months. That's more than half my life. With two teens, the struggle has been real with my emotions and theirs. This book helped to put things into perspective and explain a lot of the feelings, actions, and the emotional roller coaster that can't seem to end. I still hurt, but this book gave me hope to move forward.

9 people found this helpful

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A Divorce Book For Those Left

I've listened to 4 chapters and it's very triggering if you are in an abusive relationship. It's not for people trying to find peace with finally leaving an abusive relationship.

5 people found this helpful

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I wish I read this when my wife left..

I can’t tell you how much this book helped me. I m one of those poor guys you hear about. My wife never even let on she was unhappy, then after 33 years she left, but she never told me. I heard it later from others. This book nailed my emotions and shed light on the whole situation. I feel I’m getting a handle on my life now.

5 people found this helpful

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A new perspective

This book will help you in so many ways and entertain you as it does. When something as devastating as divorce challenges us, it can be hard to find ways to shift your perspective away from survival mode - this will support you in doing so.

5 people found this helpful

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Hard to accept but very enlightening

Ass a marriage and family therapist I found this book very helpful as I am 2/3 of the way into my divorce and it is difficult to see sometimes the things that we teach others. I think 2 of the most important messages that stayed with me the first time I read it was,,,"Property is owned; people are free" and "true love does not need to be chained in place." I was married for 15 years. And because I had been so unhappy for so long I brought up divorce as a way to move things forward and possibly set a wake-up call to what was happening. My husband instead moved out and immediately began dating our daughter's Godmother the day after he moved out and only a month after the word divorce was said. This book has definitely began me on a journey of healing and I have had to listen several times. Each time I gain new knowledge and confidence.

4 people found this helpful

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  • KG
  • 08-27-19

life saving

This is the best mindfulness book for those separated and divorced. The book teaches you how to control what you can, and how to find oneself again. I've listened to it over and over.

4 people found this helpful

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Life Changing

This is life changing! Must read!! Please read even if you’re not considering a divorce!

1 person found this helpful

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Extremely helpful

Extremely helpful. Read and reread until you fully absorbed and worked through the workbook process.

1 person found this helpful

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REAL, SOLID AND POSITIVE

Really great food for thought. This book helped immensely with getting perspective. I actually feel hopeful about the new road I am taking. I'm in touch with so much more of what went on and feel empowered to move forward.

1 person found this helpful

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Great Book!

What a great book for anyone going through a separation or divorce. Really puts things into perspective.

1 person found this helpful

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  • Zoe Patey
  • 06-11-19

Helped be a lot through my divorce!

A great book with lots of useful story’s that can relate to your own situation. I’ve listened to this book a few times now and am also working through the workbook. Gives you clarity and what’s happening and how you can help yourself in a negative situation

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  • James
  • 03-14-19

it helped!

the content is good, it helped me focus in what I needed to. I would recommend to anyone suffering from a marriage breakdown.