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Publisher's Summary

Tina Fey’s Bossypants meets David Carr’s The Night of the Gun in Darrell Hammond's groundbreaking memoir, God, If You’re Not up There, I’m F*cked - a raw look inside the troubled life and mind of an American comic genius. 

By turns poignant and hilarious, Hammond takes listeners from the set of Saturday Night Live, where he was the show’s longest tenured cast member, to the drug-ridden streets of Harlem and into the twisting corridors of his own unflaggingly humorous consciousness. Mingling behind-the-scenes stories from television’s best loved comedy series with a dark look inside a world-class funnyman, God, If You’re Not up There, I’m F*cked is a book sure to resonate with anyone who shares a talent for performance, a love of comedy, or a desire to know how an artist can climb from the deepest despair to the very top of his profession.

To hear Hammond tell stories from the book, live from New York’s Comedy Cellar, check out That’s Clinton!, also available on Audible. 

©2011 Darrell Hammond (P)2018 Audible, Inc.

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Average Customer Ratings

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  • Karen
  • Connecticut, U.S.
  • 08-12-18

A "must listen" for Hammond fans

A few years ago, I started reading "God, If You're Not There" on my Kindle. I abandoned it after a few pages, shocked by the dissonance between my image of Darrell Hammond and the reality. (Naive, I know.) Last week, when Audible released the audiobook narrated by the author, I decided to give this book another try. I'm glad I did.

"God, If You're Not There" is about Darrell Hammond's life, both the highs and the lows. He describes his struggle with mental illness, addiction, and abuse at the hands of his parents... that's difficult to listen to (and must have been difficult to narrate). But he also describes his career and includes several of his wonderful comedic impressions. He recounts his experiences from Saturday Night Live (which I absolutely loved, as an SNL fan), and notes that he refers fans to s Washington Post article in response to "Why aren't you playing Donald Trump anymore?"

The book also describes Hammond's recovery from addiction and finding peace. For me, this was the most satisfying part of the book. A very interesting audiobook by and about this talented comedian. Highly recommended!

13 of 13 people found this review helpful

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I laughed, I cried, I healed.

I am not being facetious when I say that I laughed so hard I paid I cried so hard I choked and I healed so hard I slept well afterwards. I also have some unfortunate things in common with the author and I am terrifically grateful that I've been in therapy and have been able to avoid alcoholism. somehow I managed to avoid being a cutter. This insight into what celebrities life was very interesting. and hearing about the people that Darrell Hammond met like vice president Gore and of course President Clinton was hilarious and also very touching. Darrell Hammond, I wish you all the best. I saw you at Mohegan Sun when the Thunder was clapping back at you. if there is a God, he's on your side now.

4 of 4 people found this review helpful

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  • Aggman
  • Livonia, MI United States
  • 08-24-18

This is the ideal book for Audible.

This book is horrifying, funny, captivating, hypnotic, and stunning. If you thought you knew Hammond from SNL, you know nothing. Darrell had a terrifying and devastating life of abuse, addiction, and survival. It's worth listening to for Hammond's stories, voices, memories, and hopefully, some uplifting hope that can arise out of horror. Don't miss this book!

3 of 3 people found this review helpful

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Wow

I heard a snippet of an interview with Darrell Hammond on the Bob and Tom show where he mentioned his book. I’ve always been a fan so I decided to download and listen. I was blown away at his story and what he has been through. I have struggled with anxiety and depression in my life and listening to his story hit me on a very personal level.

2 of 2 people found this review helpful

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Life changing.

This is a fantastic book. I’d recommend it over the actual book because Darrell Hammond is so damn good at voices. He does something amazing to imbue the mood of any situation into his voice, and then adds the characters flawlessly.

But that’s just the surface. The story of his life, in the context of living with severe mental illness and struggling to find peace, is something that needs to be shared. This book had a permanent impact on my life and how I see others.

7 of 9 people found this review helpful

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pretty depressing

I love this guy and I think he's one of the most talented people ever to Grace the stage of Saturday Night Live. it's just heartbreaking to hear how horrible his life has been.

1 of 1 people found this review helpful

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Thank you!

Darrell
Thank you for this book. I listened to it at work and had to really use restraint not to laugh out loud. It made my work day go so much better. Thank you for sharing your journey.

1 of 1 people found this review helpful

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More than meets the eye

incredible story of a broken man by a monster hidden in plain sight who managed to entertain us for many years

1 of 1 people found this review helpful

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Very entertaining and funny Guy

Hammond’s voice, the tone suggests a sense of disregard, disrespect and even ingratitude. As if he dislikes everything, which may not even be a valid sentiment and is definitely part of his exceeding talent. But he sounds so jaded, even disgusted by life and unhappy with everyone, even himself. He speaks with an ascetic and sarcastic tone as if he feels compelled to cynically mock everyone and everything.

Interestingly, the very same talent, the source of his success has made addiction recovery hard for him. Abandoning cynicism, sarcasm and mockery, at least when not performing, is fundamental to recovery from addiction. To believe in things that are not tangible, concepts like God, Higher Powers, honesty, willingness, open-mindedness acknowledgement, accountability, confession of character flaws that’s all hard stuff for drug possessed, egotistical, driven, cynical, sarcastic and successful comedians. In his voice, I hear ego, pessimism and mockery not humility or gratitude. I just can’t get bogged down by that right now. I just can’t hear any genuine consideration, care or appreciation in his voice. It could be me? I think I “get” Daryl Hammond, wow! I am impressed by him and amazed by what he has done in his career. I just don’t want more of his “thing” right now, I need less!

6 of 10 people found this review helpful

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Deeper Than Your Ordinary Comedic Read

Mr Hammond opens up, and then some. Was all in when I saw he was the narrator, but I learned so much more and glad I purchased this book. Such a tough childhood, but glad he has made it through and continues to fight against his conditioned deamons. A remarkable talent.