Baby, Don't Hurt Me

Stories and Scars from Saturday Night Live

By: Chris Kattan

Narrated by: Chris Kattan

You may know him as Mango, Mr. Peepers, the gibberish-spouting Suel Forrester, or one half of the head-bopping brothers in A Night at the Roxbury. Maybe you remember him as the forlorn Gothic kid Azrael Abyss, Gay Hitler, or the guitarist in the “More Cowbell” sketch. Whichever it is, Chris Kattan has earned a spot in the hearts of a generation of comedy fans.

Chris Kattan has defied comparison, expectations, and sometimes gravity with his inimitable style of physical comedy. By creating some of the most memorable Saturday Night Live characters, as well as his many roles in film and television, Kattan has remained one of the most fearless and versatile comedians in the world.

Not long after Chris was labeled one of the improv group Groundlings’ “must-see” performers in the company, he was cast on SNL - and within the first six weeks, Chris’ film career also took off.

Now, for the first time, Kattan opens up about eight seasons on SNL, performing alongside friends and future legends including Will Ferrell, Jimmy Fallon, and Tina Fey, and guest hosts from Charlize Theron to Tom Hanks to David Bowie. He also shares stories of his unusual childhood (involving a secluded mountain with zen monks) with Leonard Cohen and Alan Watts. Baby, Don’t Hurt Me offers an unprecedented look into Chris’ life, from his fascinating relationship with Lorne Michaels to a private Valentine’s Day dinner with Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes, an unforgettable flight with Beyoncé, and even breaking his neck on live television.

Baby, Don’t Hurt Me is a candid, revealing memoir from a timeless comedian and a window into the world of millennium-era SNL, from the rehearsals to the after-after parties, as narrated by your hilarious and inspiring friend - who just so happened to be there for all of it.

©2019 Chris Kattan (P)2019 Audible, Inc.

Listen & Be Amazed

Chris Kattan lays all of his cards on the table, and comes up Aces. A tale of success and defeat, and more self defeat. His narration gives a punctuated accent to a great story.

Always wondered…

I always wondered what had happened to Chris Kattan, as I loved him on SNL. Very disappointed that SNL didn’t step up and do right by him. ❤️

So great to understand where he’s been!

What a detailed and humbling perspective. He’s honest about his mistakes, open about betrayals without trashing people, and just an interesting storyteller. Excellent narration.

No forward

Enjoying this a lot so far. If there’s is a “forward by Seth Meyers”, I cannot find it. ;0(

Where did he go?

Insightful courageous account of what happened to Chris and why we don't see him anymore; told in funny enjoyable stories. Thank you Chris, we miss you and wish you well.

Poor Chris

He tells his story: it’s mostly sad. I guess he has been pretty miserable. Definitely NOT a funny book. Well written. You have to wonder: was there a ghost writer?

Great book. Congratulations Chris. Lorne Mich lied

I read so many audible books that I get bored very easy but this one kept my attention all the way through. This book covers from his earliest days to his Saturday Night Live years, movie career and the terrible accident on the set of SNL that he had to keep quiet in order to maintain a living. one more thing about SNL. It's a terrible thing when your boss at SNL and also the executive producer of a film you're doing with Will Ferrell asks you to do something with the director of the film or it won't get made. the recent controversy, it's all true. There's nothing worse than damaging a long friendship between yourself and Will Ferrell having no choice but to keep it quiet while damaging a friendship and trying to keep a movie from being cancelled and keeping your career at SNL. It's a real slimeball move on Lorne Michaels - he lied saying it never happened. You don't go to that much detail as Chris did if it was a lie. Will Ferrell and Chris Kattan relationship is still damaged to this day.
I had a chance to meet Chris in Minneapolis last year. Nice guy. Very down-to-earth. My favorite skits are goth talk, Kippy Strug , and the lounge with Fred Armisen as his elderly backup drummer. Come back to Cinema Grill. Rick in Minneapolis.

It’s okay

He’s has an interesting life. It was nice that it wasn’t all “trying to be funny”. But some of the stories seemed superfluous and it was surprising to hear him talk badly about people. I hope that he makes money from the book. He has seemed to get a raw deal, but maybe not as much as he thinks.

Good listen

I really enjoyed the stories in this book. I've been a longtime fan of Chris Kattan and he didn't disappoint. My only gripe is that it wasn't on chronological order, and while I do understand why he did it this way, I found it a little hard to follow at times how old he was during some stories. Definitely worth the listen if you're a fan. (He's hilarious, why wouldn't you be a fan?)

Hope he gets what he wants out of this

It was a satisfying read, but it does – whether you are a Chris Kattan fan or not - make you concerned about his overall well-being. And I don’t just mean his neck problem. While I realize that if he read this, he would probably be hurt by it, his thin skin, tendency to pout, and desperate need to be loved seem to sabotage him throughout the book. His timing in doing the “Why me?” bit was so consistently bad over the years (especially when he would make a bad choice, but seemingly point fingers at others around him instead) that he basically gave most of his friends and relations plenty of reason to walk away from him. That’s sad. He talked several times in the latter couple of chapters about always taking care of himself, yet he spent a lot of time in the book being needy. Again, I pray that that insecurity is lessening.