-
Kill the Farm Boy
- The Tales of Pell Series, Book 1
- Narrated by: Luke Daniels
- Length: 12 hrs and 38 mins
Failed to add items
Add to Cart failed.
Add to Wish List failed.
Remove from wishlist failed.
Adding to library failed
Follow podcast failed
Unfollow podcast failed
Get 2 free audiobooks during trial.
Buy for $22.50
No default payment method selected.
We are sorry. We are not allowed to sell this product with the selected payment method
Listeners also enjoyed...
-
Cosmic Delivery Boy
- Cosmic Delivery Boy, Book 1
- By: L.G. Estrella
- Narrated by: Matt Cowlrick
- Length: 8 hrs and 48 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Simon is the best delivery boy that Mr Edwards’s restaurant has ever had. He’s on time every time, and he’s gotten nothing but good reviews. But he needs more money. His mother’s medical treatment won’t pay for itself, and his father is already working three jobs to try to make ends meet. But it might just be his lucky day: Mr. Edwards has another job for him. It’s more delivery work, but not the usual kind. You might even say that it’s out of this world. Oh well. Beggars can’t be choosers, and the pay is fantastic.
-
-
L.G. Estrella did it again
- By Gabe on 08-31-22
By: L.G. Estrella
-
Starter Villain
- By: John Scalzi
- Narrated by: Wil Wheaton
- Length: 8 hrs and 5 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Inheriting your uncle's supervillain business is more complicated than you might think. Particularly when you discover who's running the place. Charlie's life is going nowhere fast. A divorced substitute teacher living with his cat in a house his siblings want to sell, all he wants is to open a pub downtown, if only the bank will approve his loan. Then his long-lost uncle Jake dies and leaves his supervillain business (complete with island volcano lair) to Charlie. But becoming a supervillain isn't all giant laser death rays and lava pits.
-
-
Volcanic Lairs, Death Rays & Cats… Oh My! 😼
- By C. White on 09-19-23
By: John Scalzi
-
Dead Man's Hand
- The Unorthodox Chronicles, Book 1
- By: James J. Butcher
- Narrated by: James Patrick Cronin
- Length: 11 hrs and 10 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
On the streets of Boston, the world is divided into the ordinary Usuals, and the paranormal Unorthodox. And in the Department of Unorthodox Affairs, the Auditors are the magical elite, government-sanctioned witches with spells at their command and all the power and prestige that comes with it. Grimshaw Griswald Grimsby is…not one of those witches.
-
-
I want to be honest but not hurtful
- By KnowledgeMaster on 11-19-22
By: James J. Butcher
-
Magic Kingdom for Sale - Sold!
- Landover, Book 1
- By: Terry Brooks
- Narrated by: Jeremy Arthur
- Length: 12 hrs and 48 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Landover was a genuine magic kingdom, with fairy folk and wizardry, just as the advertisement has promised. But after he purchased it, Ben Holiday learned that there were a few details the ad had failed to mention. The kingdom was in ruin. The Barons refused to recognize a king, and the peasants were without hope. A dragon was laying waste the countryside, while an evil witch plotted to destroy everything.
-
-
Old school Fantasy
- By W. O. Poetry on 05-10-22
By: Terry Brooks
-
A Plague of Giants
- A Novel
- By: Kevin Hearne
- Narrated by: Luke Daniels, Xe Sands
- Length: 22 hrs and 14 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Mother and warrior. Scholar and spy. Rebel and hero. Set in a magical world of terror and wonder, this novel is a deeply felt epic of courage and war, in which the fates of these characters intertwine - and where ordinary people become heroes, and their lives become legend.
-
-
It's a tough one to gauge...
- By Call of Kthalia on 11-19-17
By: Kevin Hearne
-
The Library of the Unwritten
- A Novel from Hell's Library, Book 1
- By: A. J. Hackwith
- Narrated by: Lisa Flanagan
- Length: 13 hrs and 57 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Many years ago, Claire was named Head Librarian of the Unwritten Wing - a neutral space in Hell where all the stories unfinished by their authors reside. Her job consists mainly of repairing and organizing books, but also of keeping an eye on restless stories that risk materializing as characters and escaping the library. When a Hero escapes from his book and goes in search of his author, Claire must track and capture him with the help of former muse and current assistant Brevity and nervous demon courier Leto.
-
-
Don't Judge a Book by it's Cover
- By Terry on 01-21-20
By: A. J. Hackwith
-
Cosmic Delivery Boy
- Cosmic Delivery Boy, Book 1
- By: L.G. Estrella
- Narrated by: Matt Cowlrick
- Length: 8 hrs and 48 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Simon is the best delivery boy that Mr Edwards’s restaurant has ever had. He’s on time every time, and he’s gotten nothing but good reviews. But he needs more money. His mother’s medical treatment won’t pay for itself, and his father is already working three jobs to try to make ends meet. But it might just be his lucky day: Mr. Edwards has another job for him. It’s more delivery work, but not the usual kind. You might even say that it’s out of this world. Oh well. Beggars can’t be choosers, and the pay is fantastic.
-
-
L.G. Estrella did it again
- By Gabe on 08-31-22
By: L.G. Estrella
-
Starter Villain
- By: John Scalzi
- Narrated by: Wil Wheaton
- Length: 8 hrs and 5 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Inheriting your uncle's supervillain business is more complicated than you might think. Particularly when you discover who's running the place. Charlie's life is going nowhere fast. A divorced substitute teacher living with his cat in a house his siblings want to sell, all he wants is to open a pub downtown, if only the bank will approve his loan. Then his long-lost uncle Jake dies and leaves his supervillain business (complete with island volcano lair) to Charlie. But becoming a supervillain isn't all giant laser death rays and lava pits.
-
-
Volcanic Lairs, Death Rays & Cats… Oh My! 😼
- By C. White on 09-19-23
By: John Scalzi
-
Dead Man's Hand
- The Unorthodox Chronicles, Book 1
- By: James J. Butcher
- Narrated by: James Patrick Cronin
- Length: 11 hrs and 10 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
On the streets of Boston, the world is divided into the ordinary Usuals, and the paranormal Unorthodox. And in the Department of Unorthodox Affairs, the Auditors are the magical elite, government-sanctioned witches with spells at their command and all the power and prestige that comes with it. Grimshaw Griswald Grimsby is…not one of those witches.
-
-
I want to be honest but not hurtful
- By KnowledgeMaster on 11-19-22
By: James J. Butcher
-
Magic Kingdom for Sale - Sold!
- Landover, Book 1
- By: Terry Brooks
- Narrated by: Jeremy Arthur
- Length: 12 hrs and 48 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Landover was a genuine magic kingdom, with fairy folk and wizardry, just as the advertisement has promised. But after he purchased it, Ben Holiday learned that there were a few details the ad had failed to mention. The kingdom was in ruin. The Barons refused to recognize a king, and the peasants were without hope. A dragon was laying waste the countryside, while an evil witch plotted to destroy everything.
-
-
Old school Fantasy
- By W. O. Poetry on 05-10-22
By: Terry Brooks
-
A Plague of Giants
- A Novel
- By: Kevin Hearne
- Narrated by: Luke Daniels, Xe Sands
- Length: 22 hrs and 14 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Mother and warrior. Scholar and spy. Rebel and hero. Set in a magical world of terror and wonder, this novel is a deeply felt epic of courage and war, in which the fates of these characters intertwine - and where ordinary people become heroes, and their lives become legend.
-
-
It's a tough one to gauge...
- By Call of Kthalia on 11-19-17
By: Kevin Hearne
-
The Library of the Unwritten
- A Novel from Hell's Library, Book 1
- By: A. J. Hackwith
- Narrated by: Lisa Flanagan
- Length: 13 hrs and 57 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Many years ago, Claire was named Head Librarian of the Unwritten Wing - a neutral space in Hell where all the stories unfinished by their authors reside. Her job consists mainly of repairing and organizing books, but also of keeping an eye on restless stories that risk materializing as characters and escaping the library. When a Hero escapes from his book and goes in search of his author, Claire must track and capture him with the help of former muse and current assistant Brevity and nervous demon courier Leto.
-
-
Don't Judge a Book by it's Cover
- By Terry on 01-21-20
By: A. J. Hackwith
-
Heroic Hearts
- By: Jim Butcher, Kerrie Hughes
- Narrated by: James Marsters, Alexandra Harris, Cassandra Morris, and others
- Length: 11 hrs and 50 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
In this short story collection of courage, adventure, and magic, heroes—ordinary people who do the right thing—bravely step forward. But running toward danger might cost them everything.
-
-
Loved these.
- By Cheri Chryst on 05-03-22
By: Jim Butcher, and others
-
The Adventures of Amina al-Sirafi
- A Novel
- By: Shannon Chakraborty
- Narrated by: Lameece Issaq, Amin El Gamal
- Length: 16 hrs and 59 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Amina al-Sirafi should be content. After a storied and scandalous career as one of the Indian Ocean’s most notorious pirates, she’s survived backstabbing rogues, vengeful merchant princes, several husbands, and one actual demon to retire peacefully with her family to a life of piety, motherhood, and absolutely nothing that hints of the supernatural.
-
-
Not City of Brass, A Fun Swashbuckling Adventure
- By Pele on 03-23-23
-
The Last Unicorn
- By: Peter S. Beagle, Patrick Rothfuss
- Narrated by: Orlagh Cassidy, Joshua Kane
- Length: 8 hrs and 9 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
The unicorn lived in a lilac wood, and she lived all alone...so she ventured out from the safety of the enchanted forest on a quest for others of her kind. Joined along the way by the bumbling magician Schmendrick and the indomitable Molly Grue, the unicorn learns all about the joys and sorrows of life and love before meeting her destiny in the castle of a despondent monarch—and confronting the creature that would drive her kind to extinction....
-
-
Wonderful story given mediocre treatment in audio
- By David A. Howarth on 08-23-22
By: Peter S. Beagle, and others
-
A Question of Navigation
- By: Kevin Hearne
- Narrated by: Luke Daniels
- Length: 3 hrs and 5 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
The only favor the aliens do for Clint Beecham when they abduct him is give him a shirt that says "Do Not Eat" on it in their language. He’s told that as a physicist, he is to be reserved, along with five other scientists, for a mysterious purpose. But 50,000 other humans on board the interstellar scout ship are scheduled to be butchered and frozen, a food supply for the long journey to the alien homeworld. Clint and the other Reserves can’t stand by and let that happen.
-
-
Fun book, fantastic performance
- By Amazon Customer on 03-06-21
By: Kevin Hearne
-
Off to Be the Wizard
- Magic 2.0, Book 1
- By: Scott Meyer
- Narrated by: Luke Daniels
- Length: 10 hrs and 45 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
It's a simple story. Boy finds proof that reality is a computer program. Boy uses program to manipulate time and space. Boy gets in trouble. Boy flees back in time to Medieval England to live as a wizard while he tries to think of a way to fix things. Boy gets in more trouble. Oh, and boy meets girl at some point.
-
-
Hang in there
- By Kelly on 03-04-17
By: Scott Meyer
-
Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone, Book 1
- By: J.K. Rowling
- Narrated by: Jim Dale
- Length: 8 hrs and 18 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Harry Potter has never even heard of Hogwarts when the letters start dropping on the doormat at number four, Privet Drive. Addressed in green ink on yellowish parchment with a purple seal, they are swiftly confiscated by his grisly aunt and uncle. Then, on Harry's eleventh birthday, a great beetle-eyed giant of a man called Rubeus Hagrid bursts in with some astonishing news: Harry Potter is a wizard, and he has a place at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. An incredible adventure is about to begin!
-
-
A great reading of the wrong book
- By P on 11-24-15
By: J.K. Rowling
-
Web of Eyes
- By: Rhett C. Bruno, Jaime Castle
- Narrated by: Luke Daniels
- Length: 11 hrs and 37 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
When a piece of the crown prince's soul is stolen by a traitorous warlock, disgraced knight Torsten Unger makes it his sworn duty to get it back and save the last hope for the kingdom. But he can't do it alone. Self-proclaimed "World's Greatest Thief" Whitney Fierstown sits in the castle dungeon, destined for the gallows until Torsten offers this choice: rot and die in a dank cell or join him on a dangerous expedition to put his skills to good use and earn his freedom.
-
-
A Fantasy Version of 48 Hours
- By John Kang on 12-24-18
By: Rhett C. Bruno, and others
-
Attempted Vampirism: Publisher's Pack
- Attempted Vampirism, Books 1-2
- By: L. G. Estrella
- Narrated by: Joel Froomkin
- Length: 17 hrs and 47 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Contains books one and two of the Attempted Vampirism series: Attempted Vampirism and Attempted Adventuring.
-
-
Loved it!
- By swyrlgirl on 01-05-21
By: L. G. Estrella
-
The Silmarillion
- By: J. R. R. Tolkien
- Narrated by: Martin Shaw
- Length: 14 hrs and 49 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
The complete unabridged audiobook of J.R.R Tolkien's The Silmarillion. The Silmarillion is an account of the Elder Days, of the First Age of Tolkien’s world. It is the ancient drama to which the characters in The Lord of the Rings look back, and in whose events some of them such as Elrond and Galadriel took part.
-
-
Finally!
- By Brian on 11-22-18
By: J. R. R. Tolkien
-
Time to Play
- Apocalypse Parenting, Book 1
- By: Erin Ampersand
- Narrated by: Laurie Catherine Winkel
- Length: 13 hrs and 43 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
A few minutes ago, Meghan Moretti's biggest concern was getting the kids' athletic clothes washed in time for practice this evening. Now, it seems that Earth has been forced into participating in some high-stakes intergalactic reality television. All electrical wiring has been slagged, and most combustibles neutralized. Some kind of evil space rodents are appearing on the front lawn, too.
-
-
A Stand Out That Covers New Ground
- By Aaron Patridge on 02-26-23
By: Erin Ampersand
-
Star Wars: Convergence (The High Republic)
- By: Zoraida Córdova
- Narrated by: Marc Thompson
- Length: 13 hrs and 28 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
It is an age of exploration. Jedi travel the galaxy, expanding their understanding of the Force and all the worlds and beings connected by it. Meanwhile, the Republic, led by its two chancellors, works to unite worlds in an ever-growing community among near and distant stars. On the close-orbiting planets of Eiram and E’ronoh, the growing pains of a galaxy with limited resources but unlimited ambition are felt keenly. The two worlds’ hatred for each other has fueled half a decade of escalating conflict and now threatens to consume surrounding systems.
-
-
Was Skeptical at first…boy was I wrong!
- By Justin Steele on 12-12-22
By: Zoraida Córdova
-
The Last Wish
- By: Andrzej Sapkowski
- Narrated by: Peter Kenny
- Length: 10 hrs and 17 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Geralt of Rivia is a witcher. A cunning sorcerer. A merciless assassin. And a cold-blooded killer. His sole purpose: to destroy the monsters that plague the world. But not everything monstrous-looking is evil, and not everything fair is good...and in every fairy tale there is a grain of truth.
-
-
Better than the show, of course!
- By Cheryl Dias on 01-07-20
Publisher's summary
In an irreverent series in the tradition of Monty Python, the best-selling authors of the Iron Druid Chronicles and Star Wars: Phasma reinvent fantasy, fairy tales, and floridly written feast scenes.
"Ranks among the best of Christopher Moore and Terry Pratchett." (Chuck Wendig)
"When you put two authors of this high caliber together, expect fireworks. Or at least laughs. What a hoot!" (Terry Brooks)
Once upon a time, in a faraway kingdom, a hero, the Chosen One, was born...and so begins every fairy tale ever told. This is not that fairy tale. There is a Chosen One, but he is unlike any One who has ever been Chosened. And there is a faraway kingdom, but you have never been to a magical world quite like the land of Pell. There, a plucky farm boy will find more than he's bargained for on his quest to awaken the sleeping princess in her cursed tower.
First there's the Dark Lord, who wishes for the boy's untimely death...and also very fine cheese. Then there's a bard without a song in her heart but with a very adorable and fuzzy tail, an assassin who fears not the night but is terrified of chickens, and a mighty fighter more frightened of her sword than of her chain-mail bikini. This journey will lead to sinister umlauts, a trash-talking goat, the Dread Necromancer Steve, and a strange and wondrous journey to the most peculiar "happily ever after" that ever once-upon-a-timed.
Praise for Kill the Farm Boy:
"A rollicking fantasy adventure that upends numerous genre tropes in audacious style...a laugh-out-loud-funny fusion of Monty Python-esque humor and whimsy a la Terry Pratchett's Discworld." (Kirkus Reviews)
“Dawson and Hearne’s reimagining of a traditional fairy tale is reminiscent of William Goldman’s The Princess Bride and William Steig’s Shrek! Irreverent, funny, and full of entertaining wordplay, this will keep readers guessing until the end.” (Library Journal)
"Will have you laughing out loud until strangers begin to look at you oddly." (SyFy)
"A smart comedy...nuanced, complicated, and human." (Tordotcom)
"[Delilah Dawson and Kevin Hearne] make fun of the typical 'white male power fantasies,' and in that, they succeed, with their heroes all characters of color and/or falling somewhere under the LGBTQ umbrella." (Publishers Weekly)
Critic reviews
"When you put two authors of this high caliber together, expect fireworks. Or at least laughs. What a hoot!" (New York Times bestselling author Terry Brooks)
"Delilah S. Dawson and Kevin Hearne have rigged up an absurdly funny fantasy riff on the Chosen One story, and it had me laughing from literally the name of the first chapter Kill the Farm Boy ranks among the best of Christopher Moore and Terry Pratchett and is not to be missed." (Chuck Wendig)
Editorial Review
But first, let us appreciate this tag line Once. A pun. A time.
As one who unabashedly flocks to any story with even a whiff of eau de chosen one, my bookish senses were tingling as soon as I heard Kill the Farm Boy would be the one chosen one story to rule them all (and make fun of them all). Add to that the fact that it’s written by Kevin Hearne and Delilah S. Dawson—and narrated by Luke Daniels—and this book catapulted to the top of my list of summer listens I’m hyped about. Here it is: imagine The Princess Bride if Westley never met Buttercup, and if maybe he ran into Donkey from Shrek instead. There are shenanigans and adventures to be had in equal amounts, and all in all, it’s riddikulus. —Melissa B., Audible Editor
People who viewed this also viewed...
-
First Dangle and Other Stories
- By: Kevin Hearne
- Narrated by: Luke Daniels
- Length: 4 hrs and 16 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Archdruid Owen Kennedy and his sloth, Slomo, are off to see the world when Coriander, Herald Extraordinary of the First among the Fae, interrupts to ask for the tiny favor of solving a supernatural murder. That sets the pair off on a trail that leads from Granada, Spain, to London, England and then to Austin, Texas. Owen and Slomo will have to outwit an Irish goddess of wisdom, some nasty spriggans, and streak across the Kew Gardens to find the culprit. They're going to see the world after all - just not the way they thought.
-
-
Please, please don’t go political!
- By Oberon on 01-17-20
By: Kevin Hearne
-
A Plague of Giants
- A Novel
- By: Kevin Hearne
- Narrated by: Luke Daniels, Xe Sands
- Length: 22 hrs and 14 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Mother and warrior. Scholar and spy. Rebel and hero. Set in a magical world of terror and wonder, this novel is a deeply felt epic of courage and war, in which the fates of these characters intertwine - and where ordinary people become heroes, and their lives become legend.
-
-
It's a tough one to gauge...
- By Call of Kthalia on 11-19-17
By: Kevin Hearne
-
A Question of Navigation
- By: Kevin Hearne
- Narrated by: Luke Daniels
- Length: 3 hrs and 5 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
The only favor the aliens do for Clint Beecham when they abduct him is give him a shirt that says "Do Not Eat" on it in their language. He’s told that as a physicist, he is to be reserved, along with five other scientists, for a mysterious purpose. But 50,000 other humans on board the interstellar scout ship are scheduled to be butchered and frozen, a food supply for the long journey to the alien homeworld. Clint and the other Reserves can’t stand by and let that happen.
-
-
Fun book, fantastic performance
- By Amazon Customer on 03-06-21
By: Kevin Hearne
-
The Hermit Next Door
- By: Kevin Hearne
- Narrated by: Annalee Scott
- Length: 2 hrs and 43 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Newly widowed and trying to cope with her grief, Winnie Mae Chisholm moves from Tennessee with her teenage son, Pax, to Oregon, hoping the change will let them both heal and move on. She’s warned when buying their new home that the next door neighbor, Mr. Fisher, is a famous recluse and no one has seen him in years, but that’s fine with her—she’s looking for quiet. She’s not going to get it, however, because when Pax meets the neighbor, he discovers that the reason Mr. Fisher hides from the world is that he isn’t actually from this world.
-
-
Pretty good story
- By Anthony on 09-03-24
By: Kevin Hearne
-
The Junkyard Druid Novellas Boxed Set
- By: M.D. Massey
- Narrated by: Steven Barnett
- Length: 20 hrs and 12 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Enter the Druidverse® and discover a world of magic, mythology, and urban fantasy! This set contains three short story collections and three novellas: Blood Scent (a prequel novella), Druid Blood (a prequel novella), Blood Circus (a short story collection), Blood Ties (a short story collection), Blood Bound (a short story collection), and Colin McCool Saves Christmas (a Christmas novella). The novellas primarily focus on everyone’s favorite down-on-his-luck druid, Colin McCool, while many of the short stories feature supporting characters.
-
-
This was a hard listen
- By Daniels Family on 06-21-24
By: M.D. Massey
-
The Purloined Poodle
- By: Kevin Hearne
- Narrated by: Luke Daniels
- Length: 2 hrs and 57 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Thanks to his relationship with the ancient Druid Atticus O'Sullivan, Oberon the Irish wolfhound knows trouble when he smells it - and furthermore, he knows he can handle it. When he discovers that a prizewinning poodle has been abducted in Eugene, Oregon, he learns that it's part of a rash of hound abductions all over the Pacific Northwest. Since the police aren't too worried about dogs they assume have run away, Oberon knows it's up to him to track down those hounds and reunite them with their humans. For justice! And gravy!
-
-
As beautiful as an all beef Buffet.
- By Mshank on 10-10-16
By: Kevin Hearne
-
First Dangle and Other Stories
- By: Kevin Hearne
- Narrated by: Luke Daniels
- Length: 4 hrs and 16 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Archdruid Owen Kennedy and his sloth, Slomo, are off to see the world when Coriander, Herald Extraordinary of the First among the Fae, interrupts to ask for the tiny favor of solving a supernatural murder. That sets the pair off on a trail that leads from Granada, Spain, to London, England and then to Austin, Texas. Owen and Slomo will have to outwit an Irish goddess of wisdom, some nasty spriggans, and streak across the Kew Gardens to find the culprit. They're going to see the world after all - just not the way they thought.
-
-
Please, please don’t go political!
- By Oberon on 01-17-20
By: Kevin Hearne
-
A Plague of Giants
- A Novel
- By: Kevin Hearne
- Narrated by: Luke Daniels, Xe Sands
- Length: 22 hrs and 14 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Mother and warrior. Scholar and spy. Rebel and hero. Set in a magical world of terror and wonder, this novel is a deeply felt epic of courage and war, in which the fates of these characters intertwine - and where ordinary people become heroes, and their lives become legend.
-
-
It's a tough one to gauge...
- By Call of Kthalia on 11-19-17
By: Kevin Hearne
-
A Question of Navigation
- By: Kevin Hearne
- Narrated by: Luke Daniels
- Length: 3 hrs and 5 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
The only favor the aliens do for Clint Beecham when they abduct him is give him a shirt that says "Do Not Eat" on it in their language. He’s told that as a physicist, he is to be reserved, along with five other scientists, for a mysterious purpose. But 50,000 other humans on board the interstellar scout ship are scheduled to be butchered and frozen, a food supply for the long journey to the alien homeworld. Clint and the other Reserves can’t stand by and let that happen.
-
-
Fun book, fantastic performance
- By Amazon Customer on 03-06-21
By: Kevin Hearne
-
The Hermit Next Door
- By: Kevin Hearne
- Narrated by: Annalee Scott
- Length: 2 hrs and 43 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Newly widowed and trying to cope with her grief, Winnie Mae Chisholm moves from Tennessee with her teenage son, Pax, to Oregon, hoping the change will let them both heal and move on. She’s warned when buying their new home that the next door neighbor, Mr. Fisher, is a famous recluse and no one has seen him in years, but that’s fine with her—she’s looking for quiet. She’s not going to get it, however, because when Pax meets the neighbor, he discovers that the reason Mr. Fisher hides from the world is that he isn’t actually from this world.
-
-
Pretty good story
- By Anthony on 09-03-24
By: Kevin Hearne
-
The Junkyard Druid Novellas Boxed Set
- By: M.D. Massey
- Narrated by: Steven Barnett
- Length: 20 hrs and 12 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Enter the Druidverse® and discover a world of magic, mythology, and urban fantasy! This set contains three short story collections and three novellas: Blood Scent (a prequel novella), Druid Blood (a prequel novella), Blood Circus (a short story collection), Blood Ties (a short story collection), Blood Bound (a short story collection), and Colin McCool Saves Christmas (a Christmas novella). The novellas primarily focus on everyone’s favorite down-on-his-luck druid, Colin McCool, while many of the short stories feature supporting characters.
-
-
This was a hard listen
- By Daniels Family on 06-21-24
By: M.D. Massey
-
The Purloined Poodle
- By: Kevin Hearne
- Narrated by: Luke Daniels
- Length: 2 hrs and 57 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Thanks to his relationship with the ancient Druid Atticus O'Sullivan, Oberon the Irish wolfhound knows trouble when he smells it - and furthermore, he knows he can handle it. When he discovers that a prizewinning poodle has been abducted in Eugene, Oregon, he learns that it's part of a rash of hound abductions all over the Pacific Northwest. Since the police aren't too worried about dogs they assume have run away, Oberon knows it's up to him to track down those hounds and reunite them with their humans. For justice! And gravy!
-
-
As beautiful as an all beef Buffet.
- By Mshank on 10-10-16
By: Kevin Hearne
-
Mine
- By: Delilah S. Dawson
- Narrated by: Sophie Amoss
- Length: 6 hrs and 19 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Lily Horne is a drama queen. It's helped her rise to stardom in the school play, but it's also landed her in trouble. Her parents warn her that Florida has to be different. It's a fresh start. No theatrics. But this time, the drama is coming for her. The Hornes' new house is awful. The pool is full of slime; the dock is rotten; and the swamp creeps closer every day. But worst of all, the house isn't empty...it's packed full of trash, memories, and, Lily begins to fear, the ghost of the girl who lived there before her. And whatever is waiting in the shadows wants to come out to play.
-
-
Fun Listen!
- By Aries_83 on 09-12-22
-
Chasing the Moon
- By: A. Lee Martinez
- Narrated by: Khristine Hvam
- Length: 7 hrs and 41 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Diana's life was in a rut - she hated her job, she was perpetually single, and she needed a place to live. But then the perfect apartment came along. It seemed too good to be true - because it was. As it turns out, the apartment was already inhabited - by monsters.
-
-
Douglas Adams on Acid
- By Karen on 08-22-14
By: A. Lee Martinez
-
Shrek!
- By: William Steig
- Narrated by: Stanley Tucci
- Length: 8 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Before Shrek made it big on the silver screen, there was William Steig's Shrek!, a book about an ordinary ogre who leaves his swampy childhood home to go out and see the world. Ordinary, that is, if a foul and hideous being who ends up marrying the most stunningly ugly princess on the planet is what you consider ordinary.
-
-
your mother
- By Makinley on 01-21-22
By: William Steig
-
Cosmic Delivery Boy
- Cosmic Delivery Boy, Book 1
- By: L.G. Estrella
- Narrated by: Matt Cowlrick
- Length: 8 hrs and 48 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Simon is the best delivery boy that Mr Edwards’s restaurant has ever had. He’s on time every time, and he’s gotten nothing but good reviews. But he needs more money. His mother’s medical treatment won’t pay for itself, and his father is already working three jobs to try to make ends meet. But it might just be his lucky day: Mr. Edwards has another job for him. It’s more delivery work, but not the usual kind. You might even say that it’s out of this world. Oh well. Beggars can’t be choosers, and the pay is fantastic.
-
-
L.G. Estrella did it again
- By Gabe on 08-31-22
By: L.G. Estrella
-
Sixteen Ways to Defend a Walled City
- The Siege, Book 1
- By: K. J. Parker
- Narrated by: Ray Sawyer
- Length: 13 hrs and 15 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
A siege is approaching, and the city has little time to prepare. The people have no food and no weapons, and the enemy has sworn to slaughter them all. To save the city will take a miracle, but what it has is Orhan. A colonel of engineers, Orhan has far more experience with bridge building than battles, is a cheat and a liar, and has a serious problem with authority. He is, in other words, perfect for the job.
-
-
An Adventure the Questions Empire
- By Joe Kraus on 01-29-20
By: K. J. Parker
-
A Carriger Quartet
- By: Gail Carriger
- Narrated by: J. Daniel Sawyer, Merelan Jones, Dawn Phynix
- Length: 2 hrs and 51 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Four original, unabridged, full-cast productions of Gail Carriger's most beloved fantasy short stories: "The Curious Case of the Werewolf That Wasn't, the Mummy That Was, and the Cat in the Jar": A mummified cat, a secret agent, and an aristocrat entangle Alessandro Tarraboti (father of Alexia Tarraboti from the Parasol Protectorate series) in a rollicking, wry adventure into the supernatural secrets of ancient Egypt.
-
-
Cute stories, horrible narration
- By Karissa Eckert on 04-13-17
By: Gail Carriger
-
Caverns and Creatures: Volume I (Books 1-4)
- By: Robert Bevan
- Narrated by: Jonathan Sleep
- Length: 32 hrs and 43 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Swords. Sorcery. Dick Jokes. Truly do the gods smile upon you, dear listener, for the first four books in the hilarious Caverns and Creatures series are now available in one audiobook set. Join Tim, Dave, Julian, and Cooper as they are thrown into a hostile fantasy world filled with magic and monsters, and ruled over by a cruel and sadistic game master who taunts and harasses them while he sits back and eats their fried chicken.
-
-
A great listen, but don't listen while in public!
- By Jonathan on 06-26-19
By: Robert Bevan
-
Two Necromancers, a Bureaucrat, and an Army of Golems
- An Unconventional Heroes Publisher's Pack
- By: L. G. Estrella
- Narrated by: Fred Berman
- Length: 13 hrs and 5 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Timothy Walter Bolton - better known as Timmy - has spent most of his life as a necromancer. When he isn't terrorising his enemies, he's plotting inside his castle, which is built on top of lightless chasms filled with nameless horrors and beings of a generally malevolent and megalomaniacal nature. But after one of his latest creations, a zombie hydra-dragon-bear, tries to eat him, he decides that maybe it's time to find a new, less dangerous, career.
-
-
Sound Editing Needed
- By Robert on 05-29-20
By: L. G. Estrella
-
Bloom
- By: Delilah S. Dawson
- Narrated by: Sarah Beth Pfeifer
- Length: 6 hrs and 39 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
A sweet sapphic romance takes a deadly dark turn in this sharp-as-a-knife novella with the slow build menace of Angela Carter's The Bloody Chamber—from a New York Times-bestselling author hailed by Chuck Wendig as "a storyteller working at the top of her class."
-
-
Actually Disturbing
- By Amazon Customer on 05-22-24
-
Vainqueur the Dragon
- By: Maxime Durand
- Narrated by: Jack Voraces
- Length: 15 hrs and 21 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Vainqueur Knightsbane is your average dragon: A giant, fire-breathing lizard who loves to take naps on his golden hoard, kidnap princesses for fun, and make the life of adventurers miserable. Vainqueur's only pleasure in life is to watch his treasure get bigger, one coin at a time. So when a would-be thief turned unwilling minion tells him about "classes", "levels", and "quests", Vainqueur wonders if maybe, just maybe, he should consider a career change. After all, why bother hunting monsters for free when you can get paid for it?
-
-
Loved It. took me by surprise.
- By Michael Thorp on 05-02-20
By: Maxime Durand
-
Sufficiently Advanced Magic
- Arcane Ascension, Book 1
- By: Andrew Rowe
- Narrated by: Nick Podehl
- Length: 21 hrs and 58 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Five years ago Corin Cadence's brother entered the Serpent Spire - a colossal tower with ever-shifting rooms, traps, and monsters. Those who survive the spire's trials return home with an attunement: a mark granting the bearer magical powers. According to legend, those few who reach the top of the tower will be granted a boon by the spire's goddess. He never returned. Now it's Corin's turn. He's headed to the top floor, on a mission to meet the goddess.
-
-
Very good book
- By Jason N. on 07-20-17
By: Andrew Rowe
-
The Wee Free Men
- Tiffany Aching, Book 1
- By: Terry Pratchett
- Narrated by: Indira Varma, Bill Nighy, Steven Cree
- Length: 8 hrs and 48 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
A nightmarish danger threatens from the other side of reality. . . . Armed with only a frying pan and her common sense, young witch-to-be Tiffany Aching must defend her home against the monsters of Fairyland. Luckily she has some very unusual help: the local Nac Mac Feegle—aka the Wee Free Men—a clan of fierce, sheep-stealing, sword-wielding, six-inch-high blue men.
-
-
Great book; Indira Varna excellent but…
- By McFries on 12-06-23
By: Terry Pratchett
What listeners say about Kill the Farm Boy
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
- Dakota Nikaido
- 07-20-18
A great book to hear
Loved the story and the way Like voiced everyone. Will certainly be recommending this book to others.
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!
2 people found this helpful
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
- BlindWanderer
- 11-11-19
Kill me now
If you liked "Bored of The Rings" or "Barry Trodder and The Unauthorized Parody" you will likely enjoy this.
The jokes are many and occasionally funny enough I can't help chuckle aloud.
However, this book is bad. The sort of bad that is good. Not exceptionaly good (does that mean it's bad at being bad?) but still good.
Once the book gets over it's puntification, it gets better.
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!
1 person found this helpful
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
- Justin Morton
- 08-17-18
D&D set entirely for humor
Not what I was expecting, but funny and full of puns. Tons of adult humor. Overall it was a good change of pace from more serious storylines, where the authors clearly wanted to have fun and laugh.
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!
1 person found this helpful
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
- T. Bennett
- 08-06-18
Loads of fun. Hard to follow at times.
There are a few times where audiobook producers know what they're doing and they pair a narrator with an author. This is what has happened with Luke Daniels and Kevin Hearne. This book is a laugh out loud riot from the beginning. Luke Daniels should get an award for his performance. This story honestly remind me of Monty Python and The Holy Grail.
My only problem is that it takes one-third of the novel for all the threads to come together. Luke Daniels narration makes the story entertaining until then. You just have to hang in for the beginning of the novel. Hence 4 stars on the story.
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
- Kindle Customer
- 10-11-19
Hilarious!
Truly a great story, cool plot swerve and really funny characters. And performed hilariously and fantastically by the narrator I was laughing multiple times and totally recommend to anyone that they listen to or read this book.
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
- Renee Ruark
- 08-14-18
Absolutely Delightful!
Such a great pairing of authors! How refreshing it was to have something humorous to listen to. Well written, had me smirking the whole time. Fans of role playing games will devour this story for sure. I was sad when it ended. I want more!
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
- K. Mathews
- 08-06-18
Hilarious
The story is funny and captivating. It has a terry pratchett feel. The goat is the best character. The narrator does an amazing job!
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
- kenneth
- 10-28-18
Hilarious!
Very good writing, story-line, and performance. Excellent in all respects except for for nighttime reading as I find it difficult to fall asleep while laughing out loud. Recommended for anyone with a sense of humor.
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
- Dami
- 08-24-23
Sophomoric at best
If you're a 13 year-old boy, you might find it funny, but it's, well as I said, it's sophomoric. The performance is actually quite good, but it can't save the writing. I really can't finish it. I'm on chapter four and I just can't stand another 11+ hours....
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
- Dorothy G
- 12-19-23
Quirky “punny” fairytale
Charming story and characters. Voices perform so well! Can’t wait to listen to the next tale of Pell!
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!