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Two Necromancers, a Bureaucrat, and an Army of Golems
- An Unconventional Heroes Publisher's Pack
- Narrated by: Fred Berman
- Series: Unconventional Heroes, Book 1-2
- Length: 13 hrs and 5 mins
- Unabridged Audiobook
- Categories: Literature & Fiction, Classics
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Publisher's Summary
Contains Books 1 and 2 of the Unconventional Heroes series.
Two Necromancers, a Bureaucrat, and an Elf, book 1:
Two necromancers, a bureaucrat, and an elf - it sounds like the start of a bad joke, only the joke is on Timmy.
Timothy Walter Bolton - better known as Timmy - has spent most of his life as a necromancer. When he isn't terrorising his enemies, he's plotting inside his castle, which is built on top of lightless chasms filled with nameless horrors and beings of a generally malevolent and megalomaniacal nature. But after one of his latest creations, a zombie hydra-dragon-bear, tries to eat him, he decides that maybe it's time to find a new, less dangerous, career.
But that's easier said than done. He's a wanted criminal with no shortage of powerful (and crazy) enemies, and he has a bone or two to pick with the Everton Council of Mages.
It's a good thing that he's got some help: an obnoxious 10-year-old apprentice who thinks that pink glasses are appropriate for a budding necromancer and a bumbling bureaucrat who may or may not make it through their first real fight without puking his guts up. Wonderful.
Two Necromancers, an Army of Golems, and a Demon Lord, book 2:
Two necromancers, an army of golems, and a demon lord - it sounds like a recipe for trouble, and for Timmy, it definitely is.
To earn his pardon and avoid horrible torture and/or gruesome execution, Timmy has to complete every mission the Council throws his way, most of which seem to involve extremely scary things trying to kill him. At least he’s got help - sort of. His help consists of an apprentice with designs on his castle (and her plans may or may not involve overthrowing him), a bureaucrat whose two greatest skills are fainting in the face of trouble and using people (usually Timmy) as human shields, and an elf with the world's worst case of pyromania and enough magic to level a mountain.
Somehow, Timmy's got to get this bunch of unconventional heroes to work together. Trouble is coming, and it's trouble of the kind that only a necromancer like Timmy could possibly find himself in the middle of.
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What listeners say about Two Necromancers, a Bureaucrat, and an Army of Golems
Average Customer RatingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Robert
- 05-29-20
Sound Editing Needed
Good story. Great narration. But there are several areas in the narration when it repeats the same short segment 2 or 3 times. At first I though I had pressed the rewind button, but after 3 or 4 episodes of this, when it would repeat a segment twice, a few minutes repeat a different segment 3 times, and so on, over several segments, I realized it was just lazy post production editing. if anyone had cared enough they would have fixed it before releasing the book.
The book itself was very good, maybe 4.5 stars if that were an option. Good story. Funny. Quirky. Very enjoyable. Narration was great. Definetky worth the time. And I am very picky about liking audio books.
62 people found this helpful
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- Joseph J Calarrudo
- 11-15-20
entertaining but ...
The story was entertaining but rhe production value was terrible. There were duplicate chapters listed and in chapter 2 of the second book there is a 5 minute section where paragraphs are repeated. It was fun even with the terrible production value.
36 people found this helpful
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- Caroline Van Dine
- 09-14-20
no thanks
I feel like the book is made for young teens. it was like listening to a Disney channel Halloween made for tv movie
29 people found this helpful
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- Noman
- 07-03-20
Another pleasing funny fantasy
This is what I was looking for. It's a simple story. The characters are fun and charming and the situations are funny. It's exactly what I was looking for. It's in the same vein as Yahtzee Crowshaw.
28 people found this helpful
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- Andrew
- 07-12-20
Excellent Compilation: Publisher's Pack Done Right
Normally I don't tend to like publisher's pack audiobooks because they are indicative of a story that couldn't stand by itself, a disorganized collection of stories or short stories I might find unsatisfying. That is why I was so pleasantly surprised when I listened to this publisher's pack. It artfully takes two short stories and two books and combines them into a relatively streamlined product. The combination is perfect because otherwise I would have never encountered a quality story.
A large part of what makes the story entertaining is the parental/humorous tone, off beat world, and interesting characterization. It has a slice of life feel which I found to be a good change of pace from similar stories. Also there is a decent amount of meat on the bone as book 3 is ~15 hours and is quality as well.
The main gripes I had with the book are that the dialogue and character behavior can be repetitive. For instance, there seems to be a reference to how awful Timmy's old master was about every hour. Also the voice of Katie by Fred Berman I found grating. Despite these criticisms, I highly recommend this book. A publisher's pack done right!
15 people found this helpful
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- VJG
- 06-14-20
Love these 2 Necromancers
This is a fun listen. The quotidian comes to a fantasy world led by Timmy and his apprentice, Katie. Because Necromancers also have to deal with the town council and open bank accounts. Fred Berman's becoming one of my favorite narrators - brings out the humor and the drama perfectly and his Katie is particularly good. I didn't experience any issue with repetition mentioned in a review here - download of the audio was fine.
14 people found this helpful
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- BikeVON
- 08-10-20
Timmy's world
This is a delightful story about Timmy the necromancer and his 10-year-old assistant Katie. After a few creations tried to eat him, Timmy yearns for a quite life. He petitions the council who offer him amnesty if he does a few jobs for him. His adventures are harrowing, and he wins more with his wits than might. This is a funny story of unconventional heroes is a fantasy world.
9 people found this helpful
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- Phx17
- 02-02-21
Grown Up Timmy from Fairy Odd Parents
What a fun, magical, adventure series! This reminded me of the animated series Fairly Odd Parents and Pinky & the Brain. The Necromancer is even named Timmy! Great, colorful characters including Katie, the pink-loving, shadow controlling, 10 year old apprentice, a pyromaniac elf, and Gerald the bookkeeper.
There’s actually four stories in this set as the first book has two novellas attached. The narrator is phenomenal.
Mostly age appropriate down to elementary school. Free of sex, religion and politics (except wizard religion and politics); full of ninja rats, shovel fighting, diabolical necromancer-apprentice hazing, and of course, zombies. There is somewhat frequent use of “Bstrd,” “son of a B” and insults like “ limp dck” or “Bstrd with a limp dck.” It’s hard to find a road trip audiobook that the whole car will like, but this one got the seal of approval from my 5th grader to my high schooler.
8 people found this helpful
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- Andrew M. S.
- 07-22-20
Could have been great
I finished the first book and gave up half through the second.
This series isn't balanced. The weird zany characters take up to much of the time leaving little room for a good story. What I mean by that is, the characters have a quirk. Timmy is a necromancer that what's to go on the straitened arrow. The "evil" apprentice is a preteen that wants to be treated like an adult while still liking kiddy stuff. The elf is a murderous psycho. The Bureaucrat loves paper work and has strange magic (that's his whole character.)
Like I was saying before there is no balance. There isn't a compelling story, no world building, only weird character interactions.
I'll pass on the next book.
8 people found this helpful
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- bert
- 06-05-20
loved it
what i was looking for. fantasy, humor and a story with a Nice flow, not to fast not to slow. great size not to short but doesn t over stay it's welcome.
7 people found this helpful
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- Initiated Medusa
- 04-20-21
Fun!
This was very enjoyable, fun and silly. Loved the narrator and his character voices. Without spoiling he does a very good psychopathic elf.
Another author discovered thanks to Audible Deep joy 😂 😀
3 people found this helpful
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- Lynn
- 04-12-21
Entertaining
Not a ground breaking story but definitely a good one. Just a very well rounded, if a little sparse, story of a necromancer and his apprentice as he builds a little team of 'ner do wells. Quite funny at times as well.
3 people found this helpful
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- K Mich
- 10-25-21
Somehow a dull and longwinded
I like the characters and the setting, but the writing gets in the way.
I really tried to enjoy this book, but too often there is a 'Ohw-by-the-way-the-character-knew-this-because-of-x'
An almost classic case of 'show, don't tell'.
Show me why a character is cool! Don't have a character recall an previous adventure that was actually way cooler than this one! (So this MC totally knows what he is doing btw, did I mention this character was cool? I'll have one of the other main characters gush over how cool he is, just in case you missed it).
I actually stuck with it, but quit after the 'first' of these two books had BONUS side stories to tell you how cool the main character is.
2 people found this helpful
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- Fanny
- 05-18-22
funny and unice story
This book is really funny, and even if the first and second book is abit to similar and repeat itself alot. It's a really enjoyable book.
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- Anonymous User
- 05-18-22
Original, brilliant and very entertaining
If anyone would have suggested 6 months ago i would be writing a review for a book where the main characters are necromancer's, i would have probably laughed in their face. But here we are.
This is one of those golden hidden gems for me. The relationship between Timmy and Katie is brilliantly written. With this the rest of the characters fall into place and play their vital part.
There is humour, some mild language which given the flow of the book is more than acceptable.
Ill even pick up book 3 sometime soon to carry on the journey.
narration is done really well and adds depth to the characters plus made this a really enjoyable listen.
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- Karl B
- 05-17-22
Like listening to two eight year olds in a bragging contest.
This book is quite different in several ways. The hero isn’t exactly a good person and his ways aren’t noble, but he gets the job done.
A large part of the book is filled with bragging and insults whereas the rest is threats and battle. The author deliberately leaves out a lot of details, as if the reader knows the exact procedure for reanimating the dead and the complications of crafting new monsters using parts from different species, but it feels acceptable in the setting.
I wouldn’t recommend it to anyone expecting a classical fantasy story, but it’s a must for those that enjoy the Adam’s family.
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- Amanda
- 05-16-22
Wonderful narrator
The book itself is a good read. The humor and light absurdity has hints of Terry Pratchett sprinkled in. The ensemble characters work surprisingly well together despite the constant chaos.
Fred Berman as the narrator truly completes the experience. His distinct voices for each character, along with the humor and irreverence of his delivery, make for an enjoyable listen.
If your already a member, it's free. Do give it a listen. If you're not, this one is worth the purchase. Highly recommended.
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- Homewoody
- 05-15-22
very good listen
loved it, the narrator is just perfect for this title. funny and and a really nice listen.
reminds me a little of Disc world novels which is probably why I love it so much, can't wait to listen to the other novels in this saga 👍
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- Anonymous User
- 05-15-22
Hooked!
Incredibly talented narrator, the book is funny and has a slew of memorable characters. I got totally hooked and am digging my way thru the rest of the series.
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- Tony H.
- 05-15-22
A very enjoyable story
A very good story well narrated and well structured a very enjoyable collection of books. well worth a listen
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- T.N
- 10-08-20
Worth the price
Two Necromancers, a Bureaucrat, and an Army of Golems Books 1-2
by L. G. Estrella
This is one of my most favourite series. Humour is spot on, the characters are unique, good world building. This is also one of the first books that I have ever read from the kindle library.
This is a short book and it works. Buy it, seriously. It's good.
Plot: Timmy the necromancer is tired of being one of the most wanted men in his country and so goes about being legit wizard. With problems increasing between his country and the local empire he is sent to recruit a group of bad guys to the cause.
The audiobook adds the first two stories together where Timmy, the main protagonist recruits a few more individuals for his suicide squad. It also includes some short stories so this more than makes up for buying it.
Characters.
Timmy the Necromancer decides to work with the local kingdom, not because he is a good guy but because he is getting tired of the countless assassins who want to kill him. He is not just trained in magic but martial arts, being a necromancer he has a small army of zombies, (as much good as they are when dealing with overpowered psychos) and he is the first MC who isn't a dumbass.
Katie is Timmy's 10-year-old apprentice. She loves the colour pink, make friends with ninja rats, and has the power to manipulate shadows. She takes the occasional sneak attack on her master in order to usurp his office. A really precious child.
Gerald is a bureaucrat who is in charge of making sure that Timmy earns his pardon. He is often described as cowardly but he seems to be the only one with any common sense in this book. He is not used to zombies, being blown up, or being anywhere near danger.
The Elf
She has several names and I don’t want to mess up the spelling and have her swear to burn me alive. Crazy pyromaniac with OP levels of magic. Think DC comic book level of power.
What I like: I like everything about this book. Everything works. The author made a short story that worked and she turned it into a series. Fred Berman has done a lot of work for some of my most favorite books including doing a lot of work for A. Lee Martinez. Good confidence, great range of voices,
What I don't like: There are a lot characters in it that get shoved onto the reader very quickly. The characters are also extremely over powered, which adds to their charm but the author has to constantly toss out more ridiculous characters and end of the world events.
1 person found this helpful
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- Kindle Customer
- 07-06-20
awesome
where has this talent been hiding? this novel is quirky and humorous and exceptionally well delivered. I hope this series is long running.
1 person found this helpful
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- Anonymous User
- 05-11-22
Excellent book would recommend
I really enjoyed this book, good storyline, loved the humour. The narrator was excellent and I am going to purchase the next book in the series.
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- Anonymous User
- 04-17-22
Genuinely unexpected out loud laughs .
Absolutely brilliant. Narrator is perfect for this series . Well written a breeze to listen to . It’s fun ! I fully intend on seeing this series through to the end . Great characters that I wish were friends of mine :)
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- Mike Borg
- 04-05-22
The narrator is so good in this entertaining novel
From the get go, this book was engaging. Nice, light-hearted stories about a necromancer, his apprentice and other friends. Stories because the book was split into a few arcs. The author also has some insightful moments that elevate this from surface-level mediocrity. The narrator brings an extra Zing to the performance that make the banter and humour just work. There were some major action scenes, however, that just loses me. The tempo of action stayed so high for too long, that it became just a stream of words, and it was a struggle to stay interested. Other than that, it was highly enjoyable, so I recommend reading this.
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- Anonymous User
- 11-10-21
definitely worth it
it's a bit different to what I was expecting but it's great definitely worth the listen
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- Jess
- 09-21-21
Best series I've read in a long time
These books are a great mix betwen comedy and action. You can't help but fall in love with all of the characters.The narator is also fantastic.
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- Amazon Customer
- 10-01-20
Absolutely Hilarious.
The main character is an eccentric grand necromancer who likes hitting opponents with a shovel, has a bone dry sense of humour, makes his 10 year old apprentice do his paperwork and file his tax returns and is friends with a protoplasmic eldritch horror who loves cake.
Need I say more.