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Publisher's Summary

After being dumped by his longtime girlfriend, 28-year-old Justin Halpern found himself living at home with his 73-year-old dad. Sam Halpern, who is “like Socrates, but angrier, and with worse hair,” has never minced words, and when Justin moved back home, he began to record all the ridiculous things his dad said to him:

“That woman was sexy...Out of your league? Son, let women figure out why they won’t screw you. Don’t do it for them.”

“Do people your age know how to comb their hair? It looks like two squirrels crawled on their heads and started fucking.”

“The worst thing you can be is a liar...Okay, fine, yes, the worst thing you can be is a Nazi, but then number two is liar. Nazi one, liar two.”

More than a million people now follow Mr. Halpern’s philosophical musings on Twitter, and in this book, his son weaves a brilliantly funny, touching coming-of-age memoir around the best of his quotes.

An all-American story that unfolds on the Little League field, in Denny’s, during excruciating family road trips, and, most frequently, in the Halperns’ kitchen over bowls of Grape-Nuts, Sh-t My Dad Says is a chaotic, hilarious, true portrait of a father-son relationship from a major new comic voice.

©2010 Justin Halpern (P)2010 HarperCollins Publishers

Critic Reviews

“If you’re wondering if there is a real man behind the quotes on Twitter, the answer is a definite and laugh-out-loud yes.” (Christian Lander, New York Times best-selling author of Stuff White People Like)

What members say

Average Customer Ratings

Overall

  • 4.2 out of 5.0
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    1,527
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  • 3 Stars
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  • 2 Stars
    151
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Performance

  • 4.3 out of 5.0
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Story

  • 4.2 out of 5.0
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  • 3 Stars
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  • 2 Stars
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  • Overall
  • Performance
  • Story
  • Michael
  • Orchard Park, New York, United States
  • 12-09-11

Shallow, but funny and short.

What did you like about this audiobook?

It's nice to have a mindless laugh sometimes. Not much of a plot, but a light-hearted escape.

How has the book increased your interest in the subject matter?

In my opinion, it's not really applicable to this book. It's an experiential book that's good for some laughs.

Does the author present information in a way that is interesting and insightful, and if so, how does he achieve this?

The narrator did a nice job with the voices. You do get some feel for the author's feelings regarding the relationship with his father, but I did not walk away wanting to hear more about him or his life. I just enjoyed the sound bites when they came.

What did you find wrong about the narrator's performance?

I thought the narrator did a nice job.

Do you have any additional comments?

It's short. It's funny. A great book if you're looking for a one-timer on a road trip - just don't listen with young kids.

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  • Chris
  • TRANSFER, PA, United States
  • 12-04-11

Funny and so true!

If you could sum up Sh-t My Dad Says in three words, what would they be?

funny, my life, so true

Was there a moment in the book that particularly moved you?

There were some things he said that I have actually heard my husband say to our kids.

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  • Eric
  • Stansbury Park, UT, United States
  • 11-07-11

Hated it

I probably should have expected it to be what it was but it was really not that funny, like it was made out to be. Would take a credit back if Audible would give it back to me.

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  • Michael
  • beeville, TX, United States
  • 11-03-11

OMG , THATS MY DAD!!!

I simply thought it was funny as hell !! My father was straight forwad no bull crap guy just like this dad. No time to think about people's feelings when he has something to say. I wish this book was longer

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  • michelle
  • Port Orchard, WA, United States
  • 10-25-11

Fun and Funny

Great for light listening. Too short though. Wish it were longer with more stories.

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  • Chernow
  • Austin, TX, United States
  • 09-16-11

a one-note joke

I wanted this to be funny and it is, in places. But once the listener absorbs that Justin Halpern's dad is a radiologist who uses foul language, this is nothing much. Dr. Halpern's comments aren't all - or even mostly - gems. I wouldn't waste money on this book.

  • Overall

It is some simple fun Sh*t

I knew what I was about to listen to, and it delivered on those expectations. The one surprising element was how much I learned to like the father and son dynamic despite the brashness of the father. There is definitely great underlying love between them that comes through, and that made it extra enjoyable.

  • Overall
  • Joaquin
  • Chula Vista, CA, United States
  • 08-24-11

nuggets of comic relief

parts had me laughing hysterically. i needed this kind of healthy laugh and common sense approach to child rearing. my only downside was the dads voice. i think they should choose voices carefully, that dad had a really comical rough voice, probably not so necessary given the content.

  • Overall

Abusive

If you like listening to angry old men using profanity to verbally abuse their young children, you will love this book.

  • Overall
  • Performance
  • Story

Not so good

Both my husband and I were disgusted with this book. Really not funny at all (and we were told it was hilarious!) Maybe it's good if you are a big George Carlin fan...lots of vulgarity and just plain stupid.