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Sh-t My Dad Says Audiobook

Sh-t My Dad Says

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Publisher's Summary

After being dumped by his longtime girlfriend, 28-year-old Justin Halpern found himself living at home with his 73-year-old dad. Sam Halpern, who is “like Socrates, but angrier, and with worse hair,” has never minced words, and when Justin moved back home, he began to record all the ridiculous things his dad said to him:

“That woman was sexy...Out of your league? Son, let women figure out why they won’t screw you. Don’t do it for them.”

“Do people your age know how to comb their hair? It looks like two squirrels crawled on their heads and started fucking.”

“The worst thing you can be is a liar...Okay, fine, yes, the worst thing you can be is a Nazi, but then number two is liar. Nazi one, liar two.”

More than a million people now follow Mr. Halpern’s philosophical musings on Twitter, and in this book, his son weaves a brilliantly funny, touching coming-of-age memoir around the best of his quotes.

An all-American story that unfolds on the Little League field, in Denny’s, during excruciating family road trips, and, most frequently, in the Halperns’ kitchen over bowls of Grape-Nuts, Sh-t My Dad Says is a chaotic, hilarious, true portrait of a father-son relationship from a major new comic voice.

©2010 Justin Halpern (P)2010 HarperCollins Publishers

What the Critics Say

“If you’re wondering if there is a real man behind the quotes on Twitter, the answer is a definite and laugh-out-loud yes.” (Christian Lander, New York Times best-selling author of Stuff White People Like)

What Members Say

Average Customer Rating

4.1 (2933 )
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4.3 (1891 )
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Performance
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  •  
    Chernow Austin, TX, United States 09-16-11
    Chernow Austin, TX, United States 09-16-11 Member Since 2008
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    "a one-note joke"

    I wanted this to be funny and it is, in places. But once the listener absorbs that Justin Halpern's dad is a radiologist who uses foul language, this is nothing much. Dr. Halpern's comments aren't all - or even mostly - gems. I wouldn't waste money on this book.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    KENNETH 08-25-11
    KENNETH 08-25-11

    Always listening ...

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    "It is some simple fun Sh*t"

    I knew what I was about to listen to, and it delivered on those expectations. The one surprising element was how much I learned to like the father and son dynamic despite the brashness of the father. There is definitely great underlying love between them that comes through, and that made it extra enjoyable.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Joaquin Chula Vista, CA, United States 08-24-11
    Joaquin Chula Vista, CA, United States 08-24-11
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    "nuggets of comic relief"

    parts had me laughing hysterically. i needed this kind of healthy laugh and common sense approach to child rearing. my only downside was the dads voice. i think they should choose voices carefully, that dad had a really comical rough voice, probably not so necessary given the content.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    08-24-11
    08-24-11 Listener Since 2010
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    "Abusive"

    If you like listening to angry old men using profanity to verbally abuse their young children, you will love this book.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Karla Schiever 08-15-11 Member Since 2016
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    "Not so good"

    Both my husband and I were disgusted with this book. Really not funny at all (and we were told it was hilarious!) Maybe it's good if you are a big George Carlin fan...lots of vulgarity and just plain stupid.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Vinicio Newark, NJ, United States 08-08-11
    Vinicio Newark, NJ, United States 08-08-11
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    "A funny and interesting way to see things..."

    This audiobook worth every second, couldn't stop laughing on how creative his dad is, when it comes about expressing the way he sees life; also it isn't all about silly laugh, there is touchable moments too, in a way it made remind my old man... I will certainly recommend this audiobook to all my friends.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Connie 07-15-11
    Connie 07-15-11 Member Since 2006
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    "who knew tweets could lead to this"

    There are others of us who have larger than life fathers who say (said) crazy things, but Sean's capturing of his Dad's musings is just plan hilarious... and also very sweet. Take away message... get to know your Dad. There might be more to him than you realized.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Evan Boise, ID 83704 03-02-11
    Evan Boise, ID 83704 03-02-11 Member Since 2016
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    "I love your dad's S**T...."

    Dear Justin Halpem...I love your dad, I'm glad you took all his quirkyness with a great sense of humor.
    Dear Readers, This is just an entertaining 3.5 hour book, and it's just fun to laugh at someone's elses father. Hopefully, you can laught at your own fathers S**t afterwards, and love him even more.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
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    Catherine Madera, CA, United States 03-01-11
    Catherine Madera, CA, United States 03-01-11 Member Since 2014
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    "Laugh out loud funny!"

    Simply hilarious. Just had to pass this one on to my friends and family. The audiobook is great, sitcom not so much.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
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    bonnie peregoy 02-23-11 Member Since 2008
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    "lousy"

    In a word, lousy.

    That would be all I'd have to say if the review space didn't require 15 words

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful

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