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Let's Pretend This Never Happened
- A Mostly True Memoir
- Narrated by: Jenny Lawson
- Length: 8 hrs and 41 mins
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Publisher's summary
Audie Award Nominee, Humor, 2013
For fans of Tina Fey and David Sedaris - Internet star Jenny Lawson, aka The Bloggess, makes her literary debut.
Jenny Lawson realized that the most mortifying moments of our lives - the ones we'd like to pretend never happened - are in fact the ones that define us. In Let's Pretend This Never Happened, Lawson takes listeners on a hilarious journey recalling her bizarre upbringing in rural Texas, her devastatingly awkward high school years, and her relationship with her long-suffering husband, Victor.
Chapters include: "Stanley the Magical, Talking Squirrel", "A Series of Angry Post-It Notes to My Husband", "My Vagina Is Fine. Thanks for Asking", and "And Then I Snuck a Dead Cuban Alligator on an Airplane".
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Editor's Pick
Alas, poor Jenny…
"Just like the taxidermized, Yorick-like mouse on the cover, Let's Pretend This Never Happened is awkward, weird, and hilarious—as is the writer, Jenny Lawson, of The Bloggess fame. Her narration, too, makes this listen truly sing—quite literally when she belts out the chapter titles like a manic, singsong opera star. The whole package is so genuine and vulnerable that I frequently laughed to the point of tears as she regaled her experiences dealing with anxiety, depression, and social missteps. This is a title that could only be written by Lawson herself."
—Sean T., Audible Editor
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What listeners say about Let's Pretend This Never Happened
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- BostonMom
- 04-29-12
Actually, not for fans of Sedaris and Fey
This book wasn’t for you, but who do you think might enjoy it more?
I *really* wanted to like this book. Maybe diehard devotees of Jenny Lawson's blog might like it more than I. I thought some of her essays were great, but couldn't stand an entire book of her. It was just... too forced.
Has Let's Pretend This Never Happened (A Mostly True Memoir) turned you off from other books in this genre?
No.
Would you be willing to try another one of Jenny Lawson’s performances?
Probably not.
If you could play editor, what scene or scenes would you have cut from Let's Pretend This Never Happened (A Mostly True Memoir)?
I would have trimmed a lot from the book as a whole. Jenny is witty and touching, but her sarcasm and schtick wore thin on me after the first half of the book. Her journey of self-awareness feels contrived and forced--- as if her editor told her that she had to summarize what she learned and how she grew from each anecdote. Her essay about miscarriage and living with chronic illness was really powerful and moving. Her father is fascinating, as is her upbringing. I would have liked to hear more about her parents.
And whoever told her to SING the chapter titles should be fired. That was just cringe-inducing.
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- Q.
- 04-17-12
Like Mother Teresa, but better!
If you could sum up Let's Pretend This Never Happened (A Mostly True Memoir) in three words, what would they be?
Unicorn Success Club
What was one of the most memorable moments of Let's Pretend This Never Happened (A Mostly True Memoir)?
I can recite the whole thing from memory.
Which character – as performed by Jenny Lawson – was your favorite?
I'm gonna have to go with her performance of Jenny Lawson, aka "the Bloggess." She nailed it.
Did you have an extreme reaction to this book? Did it make you laugh or cry?
I'm actually legally dead, having died of laughter. In lieu of flowers, buy this book.
Any additional comments?
This book is funnier than the Bible.
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83 people found this helpful
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- D. S. Smith
- 05-19-12
How the Bloggess almost made me crash my car!
Any additional comments?
Oh, I do so adore The Bloggess! She has the most amazingly twisted and wonderful way of looking at the world that I’ve ever encountered. And since the audiobook is narrated by the woman herself, it makes the book that much better. She swears! She screams! She has silly asides! And to cap it all off, she has out-takes at the end! My only problem listening to this book is that I listen while I’m driving (I should have known better, probably), and there were several times I feared for my life, driving down the road with tears streaming, face contorted in laughter, afraid I’d crash the car at any moment. She’s just that damned funny. BUY THIS AUDIOBOOK!
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74 people found this helpful
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- colleen
- 04-18-12
Brand new fan
Super fun, bright and refreshing. Jenny Lawson is like your best friend/alter ego with no filter, ADHD and a blogging problem who says the things that you are embarrassed to even think about. I loved every minute of it.
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56 people found this helpful
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- TheGreatJC
- 11-21-18
I gave it as much as I could....
I saw all the high reviews this book received and I believe it was on Oprah's list so I was convinced this was going to be a great book.
There was some humor that I enjoyed but I kept waiting for it to get better but it didn't. I even downloaded another book and came back to this one thinking it was just me but it still wasn't catching my attention as I had hoped, then... As she is describing her fears during her pregnancy and mentions in a negative tone "what if my baby is born a republican", I just couldn't stomach it any longer. Regardless of political views, it's all we hear anymore and the country is already so divided and this just solidified my feeling that this book just isn't for me.
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42 people found this helpful
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- Rick
- 04-27-12
Cute story, light entertainment.
Jenny's no Sarah Vowell or Tina Fey but the story is an enjoyable romp through her life. Not a rib splitter but rather a light, easy story with some fun and humorous interludes. This is one of those books that I can't imagine being read by other than the author and Jenny does a fine job of narration. I'd give it a 3.5 overall if that were allowed.
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- Kim
- 04-19-12
SO FREAKIN' AWESOME !!
I am only halfway through this book but I don't need to listen to the rest to say it's the funniest damn thing I've listened to in my entire life. I'm a big fan of Jenny Lawson's blog (The Bloggess) so I knew what to expect and was looking forward to this book for months. I am so glad I chose audio rather than the print version because hearing her read it is the epitome of awesome. I'm saving the second half to listen to at work tomorrow and then I'm going to be so sad because it will be over. Her humor is really twisted and may not be appropriate for those with tender ears or sensitive f-bomb detectors - so if you are uptight or too "mature" to enjoy anecdotal hilarity peppered with foul language then steer clear of this one.
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- Karin
- 03-19-13
Very Annoying to Listen To -- Skip It!
Would you try another book from Jenny Lawson and/or Jenny Lawson?
Maybe, but only in printed format.
You didn’t love this book... but did it have any redeeming qualities?
Some of the material would have been humorous in print (or if read by another narrator), but the author's reading just grated on me, to the point where I had to stop listening after 1 (very painful) hour. The F bombs didn't bother me at all, but she speaks like a teenager, in terms of her vocal inflection. For example, she ends many statements as if they were questions, which I found highly irritating. And it just sounds like she is trying way way too hard to be funny and clever. She is NO David Sedaris by any means.
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- Linda
- 05-02-12
Every Negative Reviewer is Just Jealous!
Would you listen to Let's Pretend This Never Happened (A Mostly True Memoir) again? Why?
Yes, her stories are so funny and self absorbed you get sucked into her reality. I would read it again just to see if I could be objective.
Who was your favorite character and why?
Hello? Jenny of course, though Victor must be a saint.
What does Jenny Lawson bring to the story that you wouldn’t experience if you just read the book?
She lived it, or imagined it, not sure.
Was there a moment in the book that particularly moved you?
Pretty much the whole thing made me laugh.
Any additional comments?
I'm pretty sure there is no Jenny Lawson; she is a character created by Christopher Moore.
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- Rachel
- 10-17-17
I Was Totally Charmed By This Wacky Memoir
Jenny Lawson had me from the moment she started in on her rural Texas childhood with a demented taxidermist father and a mysterious "pet" called Stanley the Magical Squirrel. Anyone who's spent any time around a dysfunctional family will appreciate Jenny's harrowing tales of Thanksgiving disasters, rattlesnakes, bickering with her husband about zombies, and fending off vultures with a machete. I loved this on audio quite a bit more than in print; I was totally charmed by her wacky singing of chapter headings and her ad libbed demands for "more cowbell! This recording needs more cowbell!"
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-
Story
Audie Award, Humor, 2016. In Furiously Happy, number-one New York Times best-selling author Jenny Lawson explores her lifelong battle with mental illness. A hysterical, ridiculous book about crippling depression and anxiety? That sounds like a terrible idea. But terrible ideas are what Jenny does best.
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Review by a Social Worker
- By dudley1125 on 10-21-15
By: Jenny Lawson
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Broken (in the Best Possible Way)
- By: Jenny Lawson
- Narrated by: Jenny Lawson
- Length: 8 hrs and 18 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
As Jenny Lawson’s hundreds of thousands of fans know, she suffers from depression. In Broken (in the Best Possible Way), Jenny brings listeners along on her mental and physical health journey, offering heartbreaking and hilarious anecdotes along the way. With people experiencing anxiety and depression now more than ever, Jenny humanizes what we all face in an all-too-real way, reassuring us that we’re not alone and making us laugh while doing it.
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The perfect follow up
- By Anonymous User on 04-07-21
By: Jenny Lawson
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I Choose Darkness
- A Holiday Essay
- By: Jenny Lawson
- Narrated by: Jenny Lawson
- Length: 38 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
The holly-jolly holidays aren’t for everyone, least of all when you look back on that one Christmas when there were two definitely haunted dolls waiting for you and your sister under the tree. You have to assume that’s where it all started. And so it was for Jenny Lawson. Now, she lives in the land of eternal Halloween, as evidenced by her interior decor and general state of darkness. (Although, if you ask her, her taxidermy zoo is less dark, more delightful. But not everyone has taste, so what are you going to do?)
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Audiobook Treat, Delightful, Short Listen. Laughed out loud and smiled!
- By Amanda Messina on 10-19-22
By: Jenny Lawson
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We Are Never Meeting in Real Life
- Essays
- By: Samantha Irby
- Narrated by: Samantha Irby
- Length: 9 hrs and 17 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Whether Samantha Irby is talking about how her difficult childhood has led to a problem in making “adult” budgets; explaining why she should be the new Bachelorette; detailing a disastrous pilgrimage-slash-romantic-vacation to Nashville to scatter her estranged father’s ashes; sharing awkward sexual encounters; or dispensing advice on how to navigate friendships with former drinking buddies who are now suburban moms (hang in there for the Costco loot!); she’s as deft at poking fun at the ghosts of her past self as she is at capturing powerful emotional truths.
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There, But For The Grace Of God
- By Anthony Robertson on 11-20-17
By: Samantha Irby
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The Idiot Girls' Action-Adventure Club
- True Tales from a Magnificent and Clumsy Life
- By: Laurie Notaro
- Narrated by: Hillary Huber
- Length: 5 hrs and 52 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Introducing Laurie Notaro, the leader of the Idiot Girls' Action-Adventure Club. Every day she fearlessly rises from bed to defeat the evil machinations of dolts, dimwits, and creepy boyfriends - and that's before she even puts on a bra. For the past 10 years, Notaro has been entertaining Phoenix newspaper readers with her wildly amusing autobiographical exploits and unique life experiences.
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Sweet and funny
- By Julia Valentin on 12-19-20
By: Laurie Notaro
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I Was Told There'd Be Cake
- By: Sloane Crosley
- Narrated by: Sloane Crosley
- Length: 6 hrs and 8 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
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Performance
-
Story
Crosley can do no right despite the best of intentions-or perhaps because of them. Together, these essays create a startlingly funny and revealing portrait of a complex and utterly recognizable character that's aiming for the stars but hits the ceiling and the inimitable city that has helped shape who she is. I Was Told There'd Be Cake introduces a strikingly original voice, chronicling the struggles and unexpected beauty of modern urban life.
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So self-involved
- By Eleanor on 09-20-12
By: Sloane Crosley
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Furiously Happy
- A Funny Book About Horrible Things
- By: Jenny Lawson
- Narrated by: Jenny Lawson
- Length: 8 hrs and 28 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Audie Award, Humor, 2016. In Furiously Happy, number-one New York Times best-selling author Jenny Lawson explores her lifelong battle with mental illness. A hysterical, ridiculous book about crippling depression and anxiety? That sounds like a terrible idea. But terrible ideas are what Jenny does best.
-
-
Review by a Social Worker
- By dudley1125 on 10-21-15
By: Jenny Lawson
-
Broken (in the Best Possible Way)
- By: Jenny Lawson
- Narrated by: Jenny Lawson
- Length: 8 hrs and 18 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
As Jenny Lawson’s hundreds of thousands of fans know, she suffers from depression. In Broken (in the Best Possible Way), Jenny brings listeners along on her mental and physical health journey, offering heartbreaking and hilarious anecdotes along the way. With people experiencing anxiety and depression now more than ever, Jenny humanizes what we all face in an all-too-real way, reassuring us that we’re not alone and making us laugh while doing it.
-
-
The perfect follow up
- By Anonymous User on 04-07-21
By: Jenny Lawson
-
I Choose Darkness
- A Holiday Essay
- By: Jenny Lawson
- Narrated by: Jenny Lawson
- Length: 38 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
The holly-jolly holidays aren’t for everyone, least of all when you look back on that one Christmas when there were two definitely haunted dolls waiting for you and your sister under the tree. You have to assume that’s where it all started. And so it was for Jenny Lawson. Now, she lives in the land of eternal Halloween, as evidenced by her interior decor and general state of darkness. (Although, if you ask her, her taxidermy zoo is less dark, more delightful. But not everyone has taste, so what are you going to do?)
-
-
Audiobook Treat, Delightful, Short Listen. Laughed out loud and smiled!
- By Amanda Messina on 10-19-22
By: Jenny Lawson
-
We Are Never Meeting in Real Life
- Essays
- By: Samantha Irby
- Narrated by: Samantha Irby
- Length: 9 hrs and 17 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Whether Samantha Irby is talking about how her difficult childhood has led to a problem in making “adult” budgets; explaining why she should be the new Bachelorette; detailing a disastrous pilgrimage-slash-romantic-vacation to Nashville to scatter her estranged father’s ashes; sharing awkward sexual encounters; or dispensing advice on how to navigate friendships with former drinking buddies who are now suburban moms (hang in there for the Costco loot!); she’s as deft at poking fun at the ghosts of her past self as she is at capturing powerful emotional truths.
-
-
There, But For The Grace Of God
- By Anthony Robertson on 11-20-17
By: Samantha Irby
-
The Idiot Girls' Action-Adventure Club
- True Tales from a Magnificent and Clumsy Life
- By: Laurie Notaro
- Narrated by: Hillary Huber
- Length: 5 hrs and 52 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Introducing Laurie Notaro, the leader of the Idiot Girls' Action-Adventure Club. Every day she fearlessly rises from bed to defeat the evil machinations of dolts, dimwits, and creepy boyfriends - and that's before she even puts on a bra. For the past 10 years, Notaro has been entertaining Phoenix newspaper readers with her wildly amusing autobiographical exploits and unique life experiences.
-
-
Sweet and funny
- By Julia Valentin on 12-19-20
By: Laurie Notaro
-
I Was Told There'd Be Cake
- By: Sloane Crosley
- Narrated by: Sloane Crosley
- Length: 6 hrs and 8 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Crosley can do no right despite the best of intentions-or perhaps because of them. Together, these essays create a startlingly funny and revealing portrait of a complex and utterly recognizable character that's aiming for the stars but hits the ceiling and the inimitable city that has helped shape who she is. I Was Told There'd Be Cake introduces a strikingly original voice, chronicling the struggles and unexpected beauty of modern urban life.
-
-
So self-involved
- By Eleanor on 09-20-12
By: Sloane Crosley
-
Quietly Hostile
- Essays
- By: Samantha Irby
- Narrated by: Samantha Irby
- Length: 9 hrs and 31 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Samantha Irby’s career has taken her to new heights. She dodges calls from Hollywood and flop sweats on the red carpet at premieres (well, one premiere). But nothing is ever as it seems online, where she can crop out all the ugly parts. Irby got a lot of weird emails about Carrie Bradshaw, and not only is there diarrhea to avoid, but now—anaphylactic shock. She is turned away from restaurants for being inappropriately dressed and looks for the best ways to cope, i.e., reveling in the offerings of QVC and adopting a deranged pandemic dog.
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Extremely disappointed
- By Diana in Michigan on 07-20-23
By: Samantha Irby
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Sh-t My Dad Says
- By: Justin Halpern
- Narrated by: Sean Schemmel
- Length: 3 hrs and 8 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
After being dumped by his longtime girlfriend, 28-year-old Justin Halpern found himself living at home with his 73-year-old dad. Sam Halpern, who is “like Socrates, but angrier, and with worse hair,” has never minced words, and when Justin moved back home, he began to record all the ridiculous things his dad said to him.
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Really Funny! Should Be Up for an Audie Award
- By Michael on 05-08-10
By: Justin Halpern
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Excuse Me While I Disappear
- Tales of Midlife Mayhem
- By: Laurie Notaro
- Narrated by: Hillary Huber
- Length: 5 hrs and 59 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Laurie Notaro has proved everyone wrong: she didn’t end up in rehab, prison, or cremated at a tender age. She just went gray. At past fifty, every hair’s root is a symbol of knowledge (she knows how to use a landline), experience (she rode in a car with no seat belts), and superpowers (a gray-haired lady can get away with anything). Though navigating midlife is initially upsetting—the cracking noises coming from her new old body, receiving regular junk mail from mortuaries—Laurie accepts it. And then some.
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Meh. Maybe funnier with a different narrator
- By TK on 12-19-22
By: Laurie Notaro
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Good Morning, Monster
- A Therapist Shares Five Heroic Stories of Emotional Recovery
- By: Catherine Gildiner
- Narrated by: Deborah Burgess
- Length: 13 hrs and 15 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
In this fascinating narrative, therapist Catherine Gildiner presents five of what she calls her most heroic and memorable patients. Among them: A successful, first-generation Chinese immigrant musician suffering sexual dysfunction; a young woman whose father abandoned her at age nine with her younger siblings in an isolated cottage in the depth of winter; and a glamorous workaholic whose narcissistic, negligent mother greeted her each morning of her childhood with "Good morning, Monster". Each patient presents a mystery, one that will only be unpacked over years.
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some things shouldn't be consumed
- By Jess on 12-28-22
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Housebroken
- Admissions of an Untidy Life
- By: Laurie Notaro
- Narrated by: Laurie Notaro
- Length: 6 hrs and 12 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance