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Publisher's Summary

"A couple years back, I was at the Phoenix airport bar. It was empty except for one heavy-set, gray bearded, grizzled guy who looked like he just rode his donkey into town after a long day of panning for silver in them thar hills. He ordered a Jack Daniels straight up, and that's when I overheard the young guy with the earring behind the bar asking him if he had ID. At first the old sea captain just laughed. But the guy with the twinkle in his ear asked again. At this point it became apparent that he was serious. Dan Haggerty's dad fired back, 'You've got to be kidding me, son.' The bartender replied, 'New policy. Everyone has to show their ID.' Then I watched Burl Ives reluctantly reach into his dungarees and pull out his military identification card from World War II."

It's a sad and eerie harbinger of our times that the Oprah-watching, crystal-rubbing, Whole Foods-shopping moms and their whipped attorney husbands have taken the ability to reason away from the poor schlub who makes the Bloody Marys. What we used to settle with common sense or a fist, we now settle with hand sanitizer and lawyers. Adam Carolla has had enough of this insanity and he's here to help us get our collective balls back.

In Fifty Years We'll All Be Chicks is Adam's comedic gospel of modern America. He rips into the absurdity of the culture that demonized the peanut butter and jelly sandwich, turned the nation's bathrooms into a lawless free-for-all of urine and fecal matter, and put its citizens at the mercy of a bunch of minimum wagers with axes to grind. Peppered between complaints, Carolla shares candid anecdotes from his day to day life as well as his past Sunday football at Jimmy Kimmel's house, his attempts to raise his kids in a society that he mostly disagrees with, his big showbiz break, and much, much more. Brilliantly showcasing Adam's spot-on sense of humor, this book cements his status as a cultural commentator/comedian/complainer extraordinaire.

©2010 Adam Carolla (P)2010 Random House Audio

Critic Reviews

"If comedy books were a big-breasted porn collection, In Fifty Years We'll All Be Chicks would be Christy Canyon." (Bill Simmons, ESPN columnist and best-selling author of The Book of Basketball)
"Adam Carolla is a genius. And no, I'm not kidding."(Jimmy Kimmel)
“I don’t know this guy from Adam, but Carolla’s humor - fearlessly crass, shamelessly honest and irresistibly funny - sucks out like liposuction the layers of fatty pride to expose the often warped and wounded psyche buried deep within the modern American male.”(Ken Burns)

What members say

Average Customer Ratings

Overall

  • 4.3 out of 5.0
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Story

  • 4.2 out of 5.0
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  • Overall
  • Perry
  • Sun Valley, CA, United States
  • 12-16-10

a little disappointed..

This is one of the first books I have purchased from Audible I just could not finish. While I love his sarcasm, I think his stories are a little more interesting to him then they are to anyone else. It has its moments.. just not enough of them. And his voice eventually is just irritating.

15 of 26 people found this review helpful

  • Overall
  • Greg
  • san carlos, CA, United States
  • 11-07-10

Truth

With all the sledge that inhabits our society these days, Adam Carolla, through his book as well as his other forms of media, has managed to bring me some hope for our society. In addition to being one of the funniest, most enjoyable reads I have had in a while, it is the truth and validity in his views on life that make this book such a rewarding and relevant accomplishment.

15 of 26 people found this review helpful

  • Overall
  • Scott
  • Lafayette, CA, United States
  • 02-18-11

absolutely loved it! well worth the credits!

I wasn't sure that i was going to be able to deal with 6 hours straight of Adams corolla rants but this was the funniest audio book I have ever heard. Im going to get the written book so I can read some excerpts from to my friends and family. Not only is it funny but its right on I believe in almost everything he said except Immigation ( white guys don't do any hard labor jobs for me in my area no matter how poor they are) but I digress , this is a must for all guys. all previous negative comments must be from chicks

4 of 7 people found this review helpful

  • Overall
  • Eric
  • Redford, MI, United States
  • 11-17-10

Hilarious

Ace is the man. His points of view are hilariously accurate. If you're an opinionated person that likes his pod cast then you'll love the book. MUST listen.

9 of 17 people found this review helpful

  • Overall
  • Performance
  • Story

get it on<br />

the g.o.a.t.
Ace man, I own every book. this was my first. president me is my fav. get it on!

  • Overall
  • Performance
  • Story

Carolla at his best.

If you are a fan of classic Adam Carolla rants, then this is the book for you. The audio version narrated by Adam himself has lots of xtra audio not included with the paper version. A great purchase.

  • Overall
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  • Story

Disappointingly not funny....in the least

What would have made In Fifty Years We'll All Be Chicks... better?

Where to begin ? I am a huge Adam Corolla fan but this book is awful; not funny or witty at all. I would NOT recommend this book to anyone.

What was your reaction to the ending? (No spoilers please!)

Didn't even finish - the book is that bad .

How could the performance have been better?

I could have exchanged the book.

You didn’t love this book... but did it have any redeeming qualities?

I guess I would give Adam Corolla an "A" for effort .....

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  • JJ
  • 12-08-17

Viva La Ace Man!!!

Fantastic and opinionated. Calls the world out on their bullshit and a must read/listen. finished it one non stop sitting. Had so much fun listening can't recommend it enough!!!!

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ACE hits it out of the ball park!

As someone who is also sick to death of the pussyness of our society it was nice to know I'm not alone. There is definitely a decline in men these days. This book is not for hardcore, crybaby, everything needs to be graded on a curve, easily offended, why cant the government wipe my ass, I need my safe space Liberals. Does that mean Adam is all in on the right side? NO! But he has learned to man up and take responsibility (key word there) for his life. He's realized what all successful people (both men and women) have realized and that's if he wants something done or to achieve something, it's going to involve action, not sitting on your ass watching Netflix, hoping whoever you voted for is going to take care of you! Again, not a book for Liberals. On that note...enjoy!

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It's so true about today's society. thanks ace man

it's always great hearing the stories of the ace man, and here I thought I had it hard growing up.