In Fifty Years We'll All Be Chicks...

. . . And Other Complaints from an Angry Middle-Aged White Guy

By: Adam Carolla

Narrated by: Adam Carolla

Length: 6 hrs and 42 mins

Publisher's summary

"A couple years back, I was at the Phoenix airport bar. It was empty except for one heavy-set, gray bearded, grizzled guy who looked like he just rode his donkey into town after a long day of panning for silver in them thar hills. He ordered a Jack Daniels straight up, and that's when I overheard the young guy with the earring behind the bar asking him if he had ID. At first the old sea captain just laughed. But the guy with the twinkle in his ear asked again. At this point it became apparent that he was serious. Dan Haggerty's dad fired back, 'You've got to be kidding me, son.' The bartender replied, 'New policy. Everyone has to show their ID.' Then I watched Burl Ives reluctantly reach into his dungarees and pull out his military identification card from World War II."

It's a sad and eerie harbinger of our times that the Oprah-watching, crystal-rubbing, Whole Foods-shopping moms and their whipped attorney husbands have taken the ability to reason away from the poor schlub who makes the Bloody Marys. What we used to settle with common sense or a fist, we now settle with hand sanitizer and lawyers. Adam Carolla has had enough of this insanity and he's here to help us get our collective balls back.

In Fifty Years We'll All Be Chicks is Adam's comedic gospel of modern America. He rips into the absurdity of the culture that demonized the peanut butter and jelly sandwich, turned the nation's bathrooms into a lawless free-for-all of urine and fecal matter, and put its citizens at the mercy of a bunch of minimum wagers with axes to grind. Peppered between complaints Carolla shares candid anecdotes from his day to day life as well as his past Sunday football at Jimmy Kimmel's house, his attempts to raise his kids in a society that he mostly disagrees with, his big showbiz break, and much, much more. Brilliantly showcasing Adam's spot-on sense of humor, this book cements his status as a cultural commentator/comedian/complainer extraordinaire.

Adam Carolla is a radio and television host, comedian, and actor. He is the host of the "Adam Carolla Podcast", before which he hosted a weekday morning radio program broadcast from Los Angeles, and syndicated by CBS Radio. Besides these shows, Carolla is well known as the co-host of the radio show "Loveline" (and its television incarnation on MTV), as the co-creator and co-host of Comedy Central's The Man Show, and as the co-creator and the performer on Comedy Central and MTV's Crank Yankers and is a frequent contributor and contestant on ABC's top-rated program Dancing with the Stars. Carolla also starred in, co-wrote, and co-produced the award-winning independent film, The Hammer. He currently lives in Los Angeles with his wife and their two children.

©2010 Adam Carolla (P)2010 Random House Audio

Critic reviews

"If comedy books were a big-breasted porn collection, In Fifty Years We'll All Be Chicks would be Christy Canyon." (Bill Simmons, ESPN columnist and best-selling author of The Book of Basketball)

"Adam Carolla is a genius. And no, I'm not kidding."(Jimmy Kimmel)

“I don’t know this guy from Adam, but Carolla’s humor - fearlessly crass, shamelessly honest and irresistibly funny - sucks out like liposuction the layers of fatty pride to expose the often warped and wounded psyche buried deep within the modern American male.”(Ken Burns)

A MUST-LISTEN for Adam Carolla fans.

Simply put: if you like Adam Carolla and his take on life, you will LOVE this book.

Could fix the direction this country is headed

I sure hope enough people read this book that we can still save ourselves from the pussies we are becoming. America isn't the nation or brave men it used to be and it's why we aren't as good as we used to be. Hopefully helps keep us from becoming the little bitches we are quickly turning into.

Great Book!!

Would you listen to In Fifty Years We'll All Be Chicks... again? Why?

I have never heard of Adam Carolla before this book. Glad i did!!! Very funny thru out the entire book. Great Book!!

Any additional comments?

Can' wait for his second book!!

Gotta love the Ace Man!

What did you love best about In Fifty Years We'll All Be Chicks...?

I love everything Adam Carolla, I listen to his podcast religiously so this was kinda like an extra long episode..love it.

My review of in fifty years we'll all be chicks

I have to say that I enjoyed this book so much I read it twice. Actually heard. As a published author myself, I found every opinion very accurate, articulate, and down right spot on. As for someone who claims can't read or write, you could have fooled me. I only can wish I could speak so coherently. Damn I'm jealous..... Being a carpenter myself, I've done everything my whole life trying to leave the trade. As words from Pachino in Godfather 3. (No matter what I do, they keep pulling me back in) Carolla is the master of story telling and I can now put my lips in a vault and cast it overboard to never speak again. God I suck. I laughed so hard my roommate thought I was drunk. (I laugh when I drink). I put Mr Carolla up against George Carlon, W C Fields and Larry David. So gifted is his analogies and digressions and side bars I shat my pants. Due to the fact I just had a fajita. To wrap this review up, I only wish he might have bashed women a lot more. Women are the reasons why we have shitty music. Shitty movies. Shitty political correct statements and goat cheese Dockdave. (I'm not done yet). My book. By Dave Draper. Amazon

best

fantastic, great, wonderful, stellar, best ever, stupendous, lovely, marvelous, good, awesome, hilarious, funny, laughed till I pooped

No choice but to get it on!

I haven't read his book, so I don't know how much I missed out on, but it was pretty cool listening to Adam go off script and tell stories and rant about things that were not in the book. It's just too bad it was abridged. He's known to not ever having read a book all the way through, so I guess he didn't want to break his streak, even with his own book!

Listen to this one

This was a darn fun listen. With just enough biography to give context, Adam goes on many worthy rants and raves, some I disagreed with, but all were funny.

Right As Rain

Looks like the guy had a crystal ball. He predicted so many things. Sucks for us though. Lots of good hearted fu

Required listening for any Adam fan

Funny, brutally honest, and on point. I love that he riffs constantly and goes off the script. You will find yourself saying "that's damn f-ing right" more than you ever have in your life.