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Publisher's Summary

From the break-out star of BuzzFeed and the People's Choice Award-winning comedian behind the web series Whine About It and To Be Honest comes a collection of hilariously anguished essays chronicling awful moments from his life so far, the humiliations of being an adult, and other little indignities.

Matt Bellassai has no idea what he's doing. Well, to be fair, he did become semi-Internet famous by getting drunk at work, making him a socially-acceptable - nay - professional alcoholic. He's got some things figured out. But the rest is all just a terrible, disgusting mess.

This is Matt's book. Just to clarify, though, it is absolutely not a memoir; Matt is far too young to have done anything worth remembering (though he did win an actual People's Choice Award for his BuzzFeed web series, Whine About It, which is pretty good, if you ask his mother). This is also most certainly not a book of advice; he is too woefully ill-prepared for life to offer anything in the way of counsel (though that won't stop him from talking). Call this a collection of awful moments that led to his grumbling, blundering adulthood - a chronicle of little indignities that, when taken together, amount to a life of hilarious anguish.

With keen wit and plenty of self-deprecation, Matt reveals how hard it is to shed his past as the Midwest's biggest nerd, that one time a taquito nearly murdered him at his brother's surprise birthday party, and the time he came out to his friends and family (the closet was a bit messy). Matt also wrestles with the humiliations of adulthood, like giving up on love in New York City, living alone with no one to heat his microwave dinners, and combating the inner voice that tells him to say aloud all the things the rest of us are smart enough to keep to ourselves.

You probably don't need this book, but, let's be honest - you do. Since you're already here, you might as well pull up a chair, grab your glass(es) of wine, and enjoy.

©2017 Matt Bellassai (P)2017 Audible, Inc.

What members say

Average Customer Ratings

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    5 out of 5 stars

Best Audio Book I’ve heard ever.

Not only is Matt’s book superbly written, his performance is hilarious as he always is, heartfelt and insurmountably entertaining. I listened to it while preparing Thanksgiving dinner and laughed the entire time. I even had to rewind parts to laugh again. Seriously everyone needs to download this audiobook right now.

5 of 5 people found this review helpful

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F-ing Hilarious!!

Some of the things I could really relate to. Which I don’t know if it is good or bad... either way this man knows how to captivate an audience.

3 of 3 people found this review helpful

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Love this book and love Matt

This book was everyting I wanted it to be, being a long time fan and turning so many people on to Matt , I am so proud of him and of how well this book was done. Wish him all the best! Looking forward to seeing him in Philly!

1 of 1 people found this review helpful

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It has to be audio

The best part about Matt is his hilarious inflection and speech patterns, which deliver the jokes in only the way Matt can. This book kept me laughing from start to finish.

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So funny!!

I LOVE MATT. he has been a favorite since his days on buzz feed. I now listen to his podcast each week and couldn’t wait to read this book. Imagine my excitement when I realized it was an audio book in which HE NARRATED.

Thanks for all the laughs!! <3
Highly recommended for a hilarious account on what life is really like.

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Laughed Out Loud Multiple Times!!

Hilarious! Just as funny as his internet shows! His delivery is the best! Highly recommend!

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Be prepared to laugh out loud

Have you listened to any of Matt Bellassai’s other performances before? How does this one compare?

I absolutely love Matt Bellassai's sarcastic, witty sense of humor. His videos on facebook have always made me laugh and his book, especially since its narrated by him, was no disappointment. I have been listening to this audio book through my headphones at my desk at work and every few minutes I've been fighting not to laugh too loud. His stories are so relatable and the way he is able to speak openly about his flaws and find humor in them, is really refreshing. I hope he releases another book!

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...Except this Book

Everything Is Awful is an extension of Bellassai’s videos and since it is performed by him it has the same feel and tone. I love the rants he goes on and it was fun to hear a more personal story than what is in his videos. The book holds true to his self-depreciating personality that we all know and love. Not likely to be a NY times best seller but definitely worth the listen and very funny! Even if he doesn’t win any awards for the book, Matt Bellassai has managed to write a book and find a job that allows him to get drunk in the middle of his work day so I think we all know he’s already winning at life.

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Hysterical!

Wonderfully written book. Admittedly I didn’t have the highest of hopes but I was blown away. This book was hysterical and the author reading it made it that much better.

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Everything is AMAZING

Would you recommend this audiobook to a friend? If so, why?

Matt Bellassai is unapologetic about who he is and for good reason! If you are looking for a boldly honest memoir of life through the eyes of everyone's favorite gay alcoholic, this book is for you.

What does Matt Bellassai bring to the story that you wouldn’t experience if you just read the book?

The fact that the author narrates the book only makes it 100,000x more spectacular. There's something enchanting about hearing the book exactly as it was meant to be read. Plus, the commentary is a great addition.

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  • PavLove
  • 12-28-17

Well, Mat as he is

Discovered him through the podcast and he seemed to be better there rather than in his book. In the book he came across as rather not the person I would want to hang out with. Give him his due he portrayed himself as a person with a lot of issues like many of us, however, I don't know whether it is just to keep his public profile as everyone would expect him to be (everything is awful and I'm not satisfied with everything and everybody) or it is just some sugar in the tea to make this tea tastier. Strangely enough the book ends somewhat abruptly when you think it should have been at least some summary as autobiography books would normally end. This books just ends as if something wrong with recordings. As a whole I didn't really enjoy the book and regret that I wasted my credit for this. However, I'm sure there will be people who will enjoy it.