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Publisher's Summary

From the break-out star of BuzzFeed and the People's Choice Award-winning comedian behind the web series Whine About It and To Be Honest comes a collection of hilariously anguished essays chronicling awful moments from his life so far, the humiliations of being an adult, and other little indignities.

Matt Bellassai has no idea what he's doing. Well, to be fair, he did become semi-Internet famous by getting drunk at work, making him a socially-acceptable - nay - professional alcoholic. He's got some things figured out. But the rest is all just a terrible, disgusting mess.

This is Matt's book. Just to clarify, though, it is absolutely not a memoir; Matt is far too young to have done anything worth remembering (though he did win an actual People's Choice Award for his BuzzFeed web series, Whine About It, which is pretty good, if you ask his mother). This is also most certainly not a book of advice; he is too woefully ill-prepared for life to offer anything in the way of counsel (though that won't stop him from talking). Call this a collection of awful moments that led to his grumbling, blundering adulthood - a chronicle of little indignities that, when taken together, amount to a life of hilarious anguish.

With keen wit and plenty of self-deprecation, Matt reveals how hard it is to shed his past as the Midwest's biggest nerd, that one time a taquito nearly murdered him at his brother's surprise birthday party, and the time he came out to his friends and family (the closet was a bit messy). Matt also wrestles with the humiliations of adulthood, like giving up on love in New York City, living alone with no one to heat his microwave dinners, and combating the inner voice that tells him to say aloud all the things the rest of us are smart enough to keep to ourselves.

You probably don't need this book, but, let's be honest - you do. Since you're already here, you might as well pull up a chair, grab your glass(es) of wine, and enjoy.

©2017 Matt Bellassai (P)2017 Audible, Inc.

What members say

Average Customer Ratings

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Best Audio Book I’ve heard ever.

Not only is Matt’s book superbly written, his performance is hilarious as he always is, heartfelt and insurmountably entertaining. I listened to it while preparing Thanksgiving dinner and laughed the entire time. I even had to rewind parts to laugh again. Seriously everyone needs to download this audiobook right now.

2 of 2 people found this review helpful

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F-ing Hilarious!!

Some of the things I could really relate to. Which I don’t know if it is good or bad... either way this man knows how to captivate an audience.

2 of 2 people found this review helpful

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Love this book and love Matt

This book was everyting I wanted it to be, being a long time fan and turning so many people on to Matt , I am so proud of him and of how well this book was done. Wish him all the best! Looking forward to seeing him in Philly!

1 of 1 people found this review helpful

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Hysterically enjoyable!

I bought the book and was ready read it but unfortunately I got a chemical burn in my eye. So reading was not an option at the moment. So I purchase the Audible and was not disappointed! What I was intending to only be a couple chapters for the day, ended up being pretty much the entirety of this book. Listening to him read his own life story with his humor made this so much more enjoyable!

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Utterly Hilarious

Well-written and engaging content that had me constantly laughing out loud like a lunatic. A+

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One of life's mysteries...

This made me laugh out loud more than a few times, and it goes without saying that that's just never bad.
Also, my brain isn't capable of comprehending what may be wrong with people who didn't laugh out loud at any part of this book. I'm truly perplexed... one of life's great mysteries, I guess...

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Not Funny!

Would you try another book from Matt Bellassai and/or Matt Bellassai?

If this is a representation of future material, no!

You didn’t love this book... but did it have any redeeming qualities?

No

Any additional comments?

I wanted this to be so much better. I read several reviews before purchasing the book and they were mostly favorable. I listened to half before finally giving up. Matt may be very funny on his podcast but this book was far from funny, it was tedious and boring.

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Everything is Awful... Except for This Book!

If you like Matt Bellassai's "Wine About It" BuzzFeed videos, you'll definitely enjoy this book. I listened to the audio version because I love to hear comedians read their books in their own voices, and this one did not disappoint.

As usual, Matt says out loud all of the inappropriate things that we're all thinking in our heads but are too polite to vocalize. If you've ever been the nerd, the clumsy one, the fat kid, or the outcast, you'll relate to and laugh along with his tales of shame and awkwardness. I feel a little bad for Matt that he's been all of those. But then I remember that he's famous and has almost 700,000 Facebook fans, so never mind. I don't feel sorry for him at all.

(In truth, I was able to meet Matt Bellassai in person at a book signing and he is truly a super nice human.)

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Everything about this is Awful

Would you try another book from Matt Bellassai and/or Matt Bellassai?

No.

What do you think your next listen will be?

Anything else

What didn’t you like about Matt Bellassai’s performance?

His whiny, over-emotive voice tries to emphasize everything.

What reaction did this book spark in you? Anger, sadness, disappointment?

Anger that the author/performer thinks his lack-luster life merits attention.

Any additional comments?

Thirty minutes into this performance, I had not cracked a smile.

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It’s a miracle he’s even alive at this point

I knew Matt Bellassai was a Leo before I looked up his birthday... his intensely dramatic retelling of the most (hilariously) traumatic events of his life was a dead giveaway. A book like this is much better when read by the author, especially one like Matt. Highly recommend.

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  • PavLove
  • 12-28-17

Well, Mat as he is

Discovered him through the podcast and he seemed to be better there rather than in his book. In the book he came across as rather not the person I would want to hang out with. Give him his due he portrayed himself as a person with a lot of issues like many of us, however, I don't know whether it is just to keep his public profile as everyone would expect him to be (everything is awful and I'm not satisfied with everything and everybody) or it is just some sugar in the tea to make this tea tastier. Strangely enough the book ends somewhat abruptly when you think it should have been at least some summary as autobiography books would normally end. This books just ends as if something wrong with recordings. As a whole I didn't really enjoy the book and regret that I wasted my credit for this. However, I'm sure there will be people who will enjoy it.