Heads in Beds

A Reckless Memoir of Hotels, Hustles, and So-Called Hospitality

By: Jacob Tomsky

Narrated by: Jacob Tomsky

Length: 8 hrs and 3 mins

Publisher's summary

In the tradition of Kitchen Confidential and Waiter Rant, a rollicking, eye-opening, fantastically indiscreet memoir of a life spent (and misspent) in the hotel industry.

Jacob Tomsky has worked in hotels for more than a decade, doing everything from valet parking to manning the front desk. He's checked you in, checked you out, separated your white panties from the white bed sheets, parked your car, tasted your room service, cleaned your toilet, denied you a late check out, given you a wake-up call, eaten M&Ms out of your mini-bar, laughed at your jokes, and taken your money. And in Heads in Beds, he pulls back the curtain on the hospitality business, revealing the crazy yet compelling reality of an industry we think we know. It is an incredibly funny, authentic, and irreverent chronicle of the highs and lows of hotel life and boy, is there a market for it: in 2010, the American lodging industry generated $127.7 billion in revenue. Prepare to be amused, shocked, and amazed as he spills the unwritten code of the bellhops, the antics that go on the valet parking garage, and the housekeeping department's dirty little secrets.

Prepare to be moved, too, by his insightful honesty about the profession; employees are often poorly paid and frequently abused. However, Heads in Beds is more than just a memoir. Jake explains the secrets of the industry, offering easy and legal ways to get what you need from your hotel without any hassle - from scoring late check-ins and upgrades to getting that pay-per-view charge knocked off your bill. This book will give you the knowledge you need to get the very best service from any hotel or property, from any business that makes its money from putting heads in beds. Or, at the very least, it will keep the bellhops from taking your luggage into the camera-free back office and stomping the crap out of it.

©2012 Jacob Tomsky (P)2012 Random House Audio

Critic reviews

"Jacob Tomsky is a star. The kid writes like a dream. Heads in Beds is hilarious, literate, canny, indignant and kind - revealing an author who manages somehow to be both a total hustler and a complete humanitarian. I love this book. Keep an eye on this writer. I'm telling you, he's a star." (Elizabeth Gilbert, author of Eat, Pray, Love: One Woman's Search for Everything Across Italy, India and Indonesia)

Interesting insider peek into the hotel world

Would you recommend this audiobook to a friend? If so, why?

Yes -- it will stick with you next time you travel.

What did you like best about this story?

It was fresh and original.

Hilarious and educational

Would you recommend this audiobook to a friend? If so, why?

I would recommend this to any friend who travels. There is useful information about do's and don'ts.

Any additional comments?

This book was very entertaining and witty. The author does a fantastic job at altering his recording to match the mood of the book which is a skill many audio book readers do not have. Since the author read his own book the emotions conveyed seemed very genuine. The language is very open involving sex and cussing which doesn't bother me at all but a fair warning to those easily offended.

Funny, light read!

Very enlightening, funny book! Really enjoyed this. He’s got a funny take on the business and while I won’t be saving hundreds at a hotel anytime soon, it was interesting to hear some tricks and tips to use for my next stays! Recommend for an easy read!

Hotels - The Real Story

What made the experience of listening to Heads in Beds the most enjoyable?

Its just darn funny.

What other book might you compare Heads in Beds to and why?

A behind the scenes look.

Which character – as performed by Jacob Tomsky – was your favorite?

Tommy - the writer and narrator

Did you have an extreme reaction to this book? Did it make you laugh or cry?

I have done many of the things observed in the book. So embarrassing.

Any additional comments?

A fun read

From one hotelier to another.

Jacob Tomsky nails this book on the head when it comes to the day to day hustle of hospitality. I laughed and shook my head the whole time.

What I should have expected

Would you recommend this book to a friend? Why or why not?

Not a whole lot of surprises in the hotel business. There are a few tips on things you can do to improve your stay at a hotel, mostly, tip the hell out of everyone. And some obvious reasons not to piss off people who work at hotels. There was a story that tied it all together, but it was pretty redundant and not that interesting.

How would you have changed the story to make it more enjoyable?

Not sure a non-fiction book about working in the hotel industry could be made to seem much better

Have you listened to any of Jacob Tomsky’s other performances before? How does this one compare?

None.

Did Heads in Beds inspire you to do anything?

Tip more at hotels - although I'm not sure it helps. I think that the people this book will likely help more than anyone will be hotel employees who may get a few more tips from readers who buy into any truth to the book.

Any additional comments?

Kind of a dissappointment. If you read the articles written about this book, you pretty much got all the inside tips you are going to get.

I'll never view another Hotel stay the same!

Really enjoyed listening to this book! Narrated by the author really gave it a personal and authentic touch. Highly recommended!

Great Road trip audiobook

The narration is so fun, and it kept us laughing and awake for a very long road trip.

Hope The Author Is Still In Anger Management!

I enjoyed the first three quarters of the book until the author turned into a complainer and began to rationalize every poor decision he made. The tips he gave on how to navigate a luxury hotel are interesting. The stories about his hotel coworkers were good. His narration was excellent - especially when he read the words spoken by some of his friends.

The book fell apart when the author began to feel entitled to do whatever he pleased simply because he had worked at one place for a long time and felt that he could do no wrong. In his mind, he had a reason for every reaction he had to a hotel guest. Most of his reasons were because he was grumpy, or tired, or sick of the job. This only makes him sound like a spoiled child.

In the appendix he lists things hotel guests should never say. The list is ridiculous because it was made by him, using only his lens for viewing the world, and applies only to hotel guests in the queue at his desk. Don't call him by name simply because he's wearing a name tag? This is America in the 21st Century and every service person wears a name tag. NOT using a person's name when addressing him/her is rude because it reduces that service person to an object or a robot, rather than a person. The author would do well to either vet his lists with others and gain feedback on his precepts, or to label it correctly as, "Things Never to Say to Jacob Tomsky".

Useful but prolix

Somewhat sophomoric, however very useful view of how a hotel functions from a mostly front desk perspective. Optimally you would read just the first half and the appendix as the last half seems to be, although at times entertaining, really verbose and mostly filler.
The fact that it is read by the author, Who does a good job, is also a plus.