• Cruise Confidential: A Hit Below the Waterline

  • Where the Crew Lives, Eats, Wars, and Parties? One Crazy Year Working on Cruise Ships (Travelers' Tales)
  • By: Brian David Bruns
  • Narrated by: Gary Furlong
  • Length: 9 hrs and 20 mins
  • 4.4 out of 5 stars (229 ratings)

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Cruise Confidential: A Hit Below the Waterline  By  cover art

Cruise Confidential: A Hit Below the Waterline

By: Brian David Bruns
Narrated by: Gary Furlong
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Publisher's summary

National Best Seller

ForeWord Humor Book of the Year

Benjamin Franklin Awards Humor Book of the Year

In Cruise Confidential, Brian David Bruns spills the dirt - or, in this case, the dirty water - on those romantic, fun-filled vacations at sea. His hilarious chronicle of the year he spent working for Carnival Cruise Lines takes listeners down into the areas where the crew works and lives, leaving listeners gasping with laughter as they're assaulted nonstop with events that range from the absurd to the utterly bizarre. Stewards fighting over food. Cutlery allowances and other nonsensical rules. What the crew calls those onboard (no, it's not passengers). And, of course, the sex. An abundance of ready, willing, and able bodies eager for action on a vessel replete with nooks and crannies leads to love in some mighty strange and seemingly impossible places.

Breezy, entertaining, and informative, Cruise Confidential is essential listening for those planning a cruise or for anyone who just needs a good laugh.

Don't miss the entire Cruise Confidential series:

  • Cruise Confidential
  • Ship for Brains
  • Unsinkable Mister Brown
  • High Seas Drifter

©2008 Brian David Bruns (P)2016 Brian David Bruns

What listeners say about Cruise Confidential: A Hit Below the Waterline

Average customer ratings
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  • 4.5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars

Never been on a cruise but this makes me want to take one

My wife has talked for years about going on a cruise. I'm in the restaurant business myself for 23 years now and was fascinated by the insights and observations made in this book. My wife would be horrified to listen to this book and then go on a cruise. Personally I reveled in it. Every moment kept you waiting for the next. The energy and exuberance of the narrator conveyed the hectic emotions of the author. Wonderfully experienced, written and read. Seamless in it's amazing ability to deliver the feel of being there. Listening on my way home after a 13 hour shift I could commiserate with the exhaustion of the author. The separation from loved ones due to work. Well done. I received this audiobook from the author narrator or publisher for free via audiobookblast in exchange for an unbiased review.

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5 people found this helpful

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    4 out of 5 stars

Once upon a time, on a cruise ship far away....

I have never been on a cruise ship, but I have worked with ESL folks from many different cultures, so I regard this narrative as less reality than wishful thinking. That being said, by regarding it as a fanciful tale full of ego and testosterone, I enjoyed it and laughed myself silly! I mean, come on, he is the best at everything? And everyone is constantly bedhopping? Really, he is NOT James Bond! And no one ever gets mal de mer or Traveller's Revenge? But if you take it as humor, it is hard not to enjoy it. Even if only 10% is based in reality, it is still a smudged window into a workplace that many of us never are aware of.
Maybe I just enjoyed it more because it was performed with such agility by Gary Furlong who made it even more fun.
I received a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.

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3 people found this helpful

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    3 out of 5 stars
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    4 out of 5 stars
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    3 out of 5 stars
Listener received this title free

A Hit Below the Waterline

A Hit Below the Waterline: Where the Crew Lives, Eats, Wars, and Parties: One Crazy Year Working on Cruise Ships, the first installment from the Cruise Confidential series, is one crazy read. It was interesting getting a glimpse at what it is like to live on a cruise ship. I listened to the audio version of the book with Gary Furlong narrating. It was a fun listen.
I am giving A Hit Below the Waterline three and a half stars. I look forward to the next book in the Cruise Confidential series.
I received the audio version of this book from the publisher. This review is 100% my own honest opinion.

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2 people found this helpful

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Very entertaining!

Juicy story to the last minute, could not stop listening. Enjoyed the narration and various accents.

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2 people found this helpful

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    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars

Never realized what goes on behind closed doors

One of the most entertaining books. The narrator was great, all the accents of the crew made you think they were all there. The tale about the dining crew is beyond belief what they put up with from the cruise line. It's an eye opening tale for sure. I didn't want to stop listening. Wish the book was longer.

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Surprising Gem

I found I really loved this book. Admittedly, I was ready to give it up in the first hour as the author comes across very unflatteringly in how he describes the physical qualities of every woman introduced in the book, despite the fact that he repeatedly mentions he's chasing down this adventure for his committed girlfriend. That being said, the stories here are so interesting you're willing to forgive the occasional focus on women's physical descriptions, especially given no action is ever taken and we discover the author is actually a very nice guy that just has the mindset of a college Freshman when looking at women. In actuality, the author comes across very knowledgable, down to earth, and reasonable.

The stories here are just so fun and I found I was rooting for the author to survive the adventure, despite all set against him. I'll be looking for the second in the series, despite the one short coming described above.

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Interesting perspective on crew life

Book was well narrated and very interesting! Good perspective on what life is like working on a cruise ship.

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    1 out of 5 stars
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Not what I expected

I was hoping on learning inside tips on cruising and how ships operate. All this book did was tell how one man was worked to death while he simultaneously partied hard.

The narrator was excellent though. Perfection.

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    3 out of 5 stars
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    4 out of 5 stars

Holy Cat Batman!

Interesting stories of what goes behind the scenes onboard ships. Gives me perspective on what the staff puts up with not just amongst themselves but with cruisers. Funny tales and insights on life on the sea.

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Interesting and Engaging

When I heard about this book I did not know what to expect. After listening to some of it, I was hooked. The story moves along and tells you just enough about everything. It makes me really want to take a cruise now and watch to see if you can tell some of these things are happening.

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  • Mr PJB
  • 12-29-16

Informative behind the scenes revelations

Informative, funny and enlightening. Excellent nararation. Look forward to the rest of the series being released in audio format.

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  • C. Rosani-Allen
  • 02-02-22

title

Hmm... very torn on this one. It was fun and entertaining and illuminating (especially as I've been on a cruise recently) however there were sections that put me off. Yes, there was a lot of complaining but there was a lot of condescending which I really didn't like. The author (an American) doesn't like it when people stereotype him but then goes ahead and stereotypes other nationalities with impunity.

He doesn't appear to understand that things will be different (and generally better) for him as he holds a US passport - others he works with don't have that benefit. I also found that other characters were generally presented as one-dimensional, based mostly on where they are from: European girls = beautiful, Turkish = corrupt, Jamaican = lazy and so on. It was very tiring and, as someone who has also had a job with people from all over the world, I didn't quite believe some of the characterisations.

Mainly, the author makes himself look great in all scenarios and everyone around him is either lazy, mentally unstable, sex-crazed, an alcoholic, or worse. Those things jolted me out of what actually was a good story! I'm sure that it is based on a true event but, like most legends, it's been embellished along the way to make for a better book (and make the author look good).

The narration was quite good though and liked all the different accents (if a bit stereotyped too but can understand why). However he did mispronounce some words constantly (like Montego Bay, or Carnival) which irritated me.

Ultimately it was a good listen but not sure why on Earth this was chosen as Book of the Year or whatever.

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  • clifford
  • 09-25-17

moaning whining dull don't waste your time

terrible dull story. hours of moaning and whining hours of your life wasted you will never get back.

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  • Amazon Customer
  • 05-16-22

One of my Favourites

This is one of my many Audiobooks that I couldn't wait to listen to whenever I had the chance. The story is fast paced and I felt very much at home, especially being an avid lover of cruising. The picture painted is so vivid - it felt like I was on board the ship alongside Brian. There are so many varied and humorous tales that I smiled nearly the whole way through. Credit must go to the amazing narration by Gary Furlong who was really the star of this book. His many accents and characters place Gary at the top of my "must listen to" list. A simply brilliant job. I will definitely re-listen to this book again before I next hit the seas.

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  • Sam Adams
  • 03-07-21

great read

This was extremely entertaining and eye opening.. I enjoyed the narrative as well as the storytelling.

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