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The Bitchy Waiter
- Tales, Tips & Trials from a Life in Food Service
- Narrated by: Darron Cardosa
- Length: 5 hrs and 29 mins
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Publisher's summary
Millions of people have, at some point in their lives, waited tables. Some did it only in college or got out by sheer determination, good luck...or suicide. Others took it on as permanent employment. And many remain haunted by nightmare scenarios where they are the sole servers in restaurants packed with complaining patrons.
For all those disenchanted current and former food service employees, Darron Cardosa has your back. His career began at a Texas steakhouse in 1984, and since 2008 he's vented his frustrations on the popular blog The Bitchy Waiter.
A snarky mix of David Sedaris, Anthony Bourdain, Erma Bombeck, and Mo Rocca, Cardosa distills 30 years of food service into dark, funny tales - about crazy customers, out-of-control egos, and what really goes on in that fancy restaurant - that anyone who worked in the industry will recognize and relate to.
What listeners say about The Bitchy Waiter
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Jean
- 06-21-16
Hilarious
Cardosa said he started working in a restaurant while in high school. After college he continued in the industry while trying to make a career as a writer. He says he has worked in all types of restaurants, from neighborhood cafes, fast food to upscale celebrity chef spots and has worked all over the country.
The book has some funny stories about lousy tippers, obnoxious diners to misbehaved children. He also includes some dos and don’ts for diners which I thought were helpful. I could not believe that people would expect the waiter to run to a store to purchase something the restaurant did not provide on its menu or was out of that day. It is hard to believe the rudeness of people and in some ways the casual disregard is worse.
Cardosa said over two million people wait tables in this country. Cardosa says “Everyone should wait tables for three months. They’d understand what it’s like to have a job that’s considered subservient. People who’ve never been in that position don’t understand how easy it is to make someone feel degraded.”
I worked as a waitress while I was in high school; it is not a job I would care to do again. I did learn how tough the business world could be. The job greatly improved my memory as we were not allowed to write the orders down; we had to memorize them. Just think if you had six tables of four people each and everyone ordered something different. I have found that skill helpful over the years.
The book is well written and a delight to read. Cardosa did a good job narrating the book.
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8 people found this helpful
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- Ryan Alexander
- 06-08-16
Best Book Ever!!
Such a funny book! On top of the comedic stories, there are several heartwarming moments. This is the first book I have ever read that has made me literally laugh out loud. This is a must-read for anyone involved in the food service industry and an eye opener for anyone who isn't.
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7 people found this helpful
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- Germaine Esquivel
- 06-17-16
A MUST READ!!!
It's like he is me, incarnate! The first paragraph will have you laughing out loud and understanding the meaning of life...
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6 people found this helpful
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- Chalis
- 07-05-16
Laugh Out Loud Funny
I eat in a restaurant once or twice a week. Sometimes when I am waiting for my meal to arrive I watch the servers doing their work. Even in a moderately priced chain restaurant, it takes skill to do the job well. One reason I read this book was to to get more insight into what it's like to do this job.
Darren Cardosa finds humor in customer behavior that made me cringe. It is easy to understand why he is sometimes "bitchy." His narration is superb.
I found this book to be entertaining, informative and very funny. A perfect "summer read."
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- Gary & Jay
- 06-30-16
Well...he IS bitchy.
And also very funny. Insult-comic funny. Spit-take funny. Loved it.
If you want to laugh out loud and learn a little something about what your server is thinking when, for instance, you present a clean plate and jokingly say the food was just terrible, get this book. (Just in case you imagine (as I did) that you're the only person who thought of that little joke, you're not.)
Worth the credit for the fun.
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- Karen Swain
- 12-01-20
Enjoy!
I am a retired server. I enjoyed this book. It is so true! (Except that part about the fork in the trash, I always pulled them out🤫)
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- Amazon Customer
- 04-20-17
Horrible!
The title of this book should be nothing but bitching because that is what he does the entire book. Maybe because I am a business owner and I work very hard to keep my patients happy and taken care of but I could not handle this book. There is nothing worse than a person who just complains and talks trash about their customers or their place of work!
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- chiro-bill
- 06-26-16
Bitchy, Whiney and Tiresome
What could have made this a 4 or 5-star listening experience for you?
These stories would be entertaining if told over several strong drinks with a group of coworkers at the end of a hard shift waiting tables. However, they lose much of their charm when listened to driving along the interstate.
What was most disappointing about Darron Cardosa’s story?
I can almost hear the author complaining about this review, "Well, what did you f*ckin expect--it's called "THE BITCHY WAITER"! Yes, but if you go to a restaurant and order a dish described as "tart" you expect it to at least be balanced and palatable. While some of his snarky bitchiness is clever and entertaining, his tart wit quickly deteriorates into cloyingly bitter, mean spirited whining.
What didn’t you like about Darron Cardosa’s performance?
While the the whiny narration fits the subject well, it quickly becomes grating and tiresome.
If you could play editor, what scene or scenes would you have cut from The Bitchy Waiter?
Well, I got as far as four chapters and gave up there. So, based on my experience, I would say the first four chapters...
Any additional comments?
I worked in restaurants for years when I was younger, and I know some of the fascinating characters you meet there, as well as the annoying customers. This book would have been more enjoyable if he focused more on the fascinating characters and less on the annoying customers.
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- Anonymous User
- 05-23-21
Nailed It
This guy nails everything that every server has to go through on a day to day adventure when they apron up. He makes life so relatable and it's great to know I'm not alone and that everyone in the industry deals with it no matter the state or the clientele.
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- Jessica
- 01-20-21
THANK GOD FOR BITCHY! I Love him💖👍😂
This book hits it on the spot! I haven't laughed so much. However, more importantly my server career now has cushioned, ease and the best support to not allow the truth of these Fup zoo of customers we deal with. I have since changed my outlook at the despair things of people and look forward to being at work much more understood. I notched up my wit, my charm, people smart and a now a content victor. Thank you God Bless you Bitchy. The children stories are the best!🤣👍
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- joanne
- 01-31-20
A Server's Best Friend
Loved it. The author/narrator paints a really vivid picture with his words. Every server can truly relate to these stories. ❤️
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Just finished...
- By Joanne Cunningham on 01-08-19
By: Emily Belden
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I Hate Everyone, Except You
- By: Clinton Kelly
- Narrated by: Clinton Kelly
- Length: 4 hrs and 55 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Clinton Kelly is probably best known for teaching women how to make their butts look smaller. But in I Hate Everyone, Except You, he reveals some heretofore unknown secrets about himself, like that he's a finicky connoisseur of 1980s pornography, a disillusioned critic of New Jersey's premier water parks, and perhaps the world's least enthused high school commencement speaker.
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Filthy language overshadowed stories
- By Doris on 04-29-17
By: Clinton Kelly
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The Sweet Potato Queens' Book of Love
- By: Jill Conner Browne
- Narrated by: Jill Conner Browne
- Length: 4 hrs and 52 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
To know the Sweet Potato Queens is to love them, and if you haven't heard about them yet, you will. Their royal ringleader, Jill Conner Browne, introduces the Queens to the world with this sly, hilarious manifesto about love, life, men, and the importance of being prepared. For more wit and wisdom, don't miss The Sweet Potato Queens' Big-Ass Audiobook and Financial Planner.
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Forget the Ya-Ya Sisterhood
- By Linda on 02-04-03
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The Good Luck Girls of Shipwreck Lane
- By: Kelly Harms
- Narrated by: Reay Kaplan, Suehyla El-Attar
- Length: 10 hrs and 13 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
When their lives and personalities intersect, however, they discover that more than just a million-dollar dream home awaits them at the water’s edge. These three women (oh yes, Aunt Midge comes along for the ride!) arrive at their newfound mansion only to uncover what exactly it means to truly be "home." Filled with wit and charm, The Good Luck Girls of Shipwreck Lane is Kelly Harms's enchanting and heartfelt debut - a testament to the many, many ways love finds us, the power of a home-cooked meal, and just what it means to be lucky.
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good plot but the swearing was too much for me
- By Arianne on 02-13-20
By: Kelly Harms
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Waiter to the Rich and Shameless
- Confessions of a Five Star Beverly Hills Server
- By: Paul Hartford
- Narrated by: James Patrick Cronin
- Length: 10 hrs and 2 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Waiter to the Rich and Shameless is not just a peek into the secretive inner workings of a legendary five-star restaurant; it is not just a celebrity tell-all or a scathing corporate analysis. It is a top-tier waiter's personal coming-of-age story, an intimate look into the complicated challenges of serving in the country's most elite, Hollywood-centric dining room while fighting to maintain a sense of self and purpose.
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Not what I imagined
- By Autumn Larkin on 02-17-17
By: Paul Hartford
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Isle of Palms
- A Lowcountry Tale, Book 3
- By: Dorothea Benton Frank
- Narrated by: Robin Miles
- Length: 18 hrs and 4 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Dorothea Benton Frank is a treasure of American letters with numerous New York Times best-sellers to her credit and a portfolio full of critical acclaim. “Mixing high drama and high jinks” ( Booklist), her third Lowcountry novel follows the fortunes of the dysfunctional Abbot family. Looking to set her life aright, Anna Lutz Abbot returns to her South Carolina lowcountry hometown. And as she attempts to right past wrongs, Anna receives help and support from a quirky cast of lovable locals sure to endear themselves to listeners.
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A feel good story
- By Sheryl on 02-04-13
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Hot Mess
- By: Emily Belden
- Narrated by: Amanda Ronconi
- Length: 13 hrs and 3 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Twenty-something Allie Simon is used to playing by the rules - until Chicago's most sought-after, up-and-coming culinary genius, Benji Zane, walks into her world and pulls her into his. The only thing more renowned than Benji's mouthwatering masterpieces and equally luscious good looks? His struggle with addiction and his reckless tendency to live life on the edge, no matter the havoc he wreaks along the way. But loving someone means supporting him no matter what, or so Allie tells herself.
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Just finished...
- By Joanne Cunningham on 01-08-19
By: Emily Belden
-
I Hate Everyone, Except You
- By: Clinton Kelly
- Narrated by: Clinton Kelly
- Length: 4 hrs and 55 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Clinton Kelly is probably best known for teaching women how to make their butts look smaller. But in I Hate Everyone, Except You, he reveals some heretofore unknown secrets about himself, like that he's a finicky connoisseur of 1980s pornography, a disillusioned critic of New Jersey's premier water parks, and perhaps the world's least enthused high school commencement speaker.
-
-
Filthy language overshadowed stories
- By Doris on 04-29-17
By: Clinton Kelly
-
The Sweet Potato Queens' Book of Love
- By: Jill Conner Browne
- Narrated by: Jill Conner Browne
- Length: 4 hrs and 52 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
To know the Sweet Potato Queens is to love them, and if you haven't heard about them yet, you will. Their royal ringleader, Jill Conner Browne, introduces the Queens to the world with this sly, hilarious manifesto about love, life, men, and the importance of being prepared. For more wit and wisdom, don't miss The Sweet Potato Queens' Big-Ass Audiobook and Financial Planner.
-
-
Forget the Ya-Ya Sisterhood
- By Linda on 02-04-03
-
The Good Luck Girls of Shipwreck Lane
- By: Kelly Harms
- Narrated by: Reay Kaplan, Suehyla El-Attar
- Length: 10 hrs and 13 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
When their lives and personalities intersect, however, they discover that more than just a million-dollar dream home awaits them at the water’s edge. These three women (oh yes, Aunt Midge comes along for the ride!) arrive at their newfound mansion only to uncover what exactly it means to truly be "home." Filled with wit and charm, The Good Luck Girls of Shipwreck Lane is Kelly Harms's enchanting and heartfelt debut - a testament to the many, many ways love finds us, the power of a home-cooked meal, and just what it means to be lucky.
-
-
good plot but the swearing was too much for me
- By Arianne on 02-13-20
By: Kelly Harms
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Housebroken
- Admissions of an Untidy Life
- By: Laurie Notaro
- Narrated by: Laurie Notaro
- Length: 6 hrs and 12 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Number-one New York Times best-selling author Laurie Notaro isn't exactly a domestic goddess - unless that means she fully embraces her genetic hoarding predisposition, sneaks peeks at her husband's daily journal, or has made a list of the people she wants on her Apocalypse Survival team (her husband's not on it). Notaro chronicles her chronic misfortune in the domestic arts, including cooking, cleaning, and putting on Spanx while sweaty (which should technically qualify as an Olympic sport).
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Wonderful
- By Carlie on 07-28-16
By: Laurie Notaro
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Skinnydipping
- A Novel
- By: Bethenny Frankel
- Narrated by: January LaVoy
- Length: 11 hrs and 58 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
This outrageously entertaining and bawdy roman à clef from reality TV star Bethenny Frankel follows a business-savvy, would-be actress in hot pursuit of the perfect man, the perfect job, and the perfect body. Burning through men like she burns through calories, our sexy, loud-mouthed heroine grasps at any opportunity that might take her to the top. Listeners will jump at the chance to hear about the thrilling highs and cringe-worthy lows of Bethenny’s first shaky steps into adulthood, told here in a fictional format.
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An amusing story that may have already been told
- By Kimjnwa on 05-11-12
By: Bethenny Frankel
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Goodbye, Vitamin
- A Novel
- By: Rachel Khong
- Narrated by: Therese Plummer
- Length: 4 hrs and 59 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Freshly disengaged from her fiancé and feeling that life has not turned out quite the way she planned, 30-year-old Ruth quits her job, leaves town, and arrives at her parents' home to find that situation more complicated than she'd realized. Her father, a prominent history professor, is losing his memory and is only erratically lucid. Ruth's mother, meanwhile, is lucidly erratic.
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Hello Sweet Sweet Book
- By Syd Young on 08-06-17
By: Rachel Khong
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Back to You
- Bad Boys of Red Hook, Book 1
- By: Robin Kaye
- Narrated by: Emily Durante
- Length: 10 hrs and 10 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
It would take a miracle for Storm Decker to return to Red Hook - or a tragedy. The neighborhood holds too many painful memories of his troubled childhood, along with the mistake that sent him running from the kindness of the ex-cop he'd come to consider his father. But when Pete suddenly falls ill, Storm is called home to face the past he tried to leave behind long ago. Breanna Collins never expected to see Storm again after he left town without a word, breaking her heart.
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Smexy Storm!!!
- By Candateshia Pafford on 03-14-13
By: Robin Kaye