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Publisher's Summary

Millions of people have, at some point in their lives, waited tables. Some did it only in college or got out by sheer determination, good luck...or suicide. Others took it on as permanent employment. And many remain haunted by nightmare scenarios where they are the sole servers in restaurants packed with complaining patrons.

For all those disenchanted current and former food service employees, Darron Cardosa has your back. His career began at a Texas steakhouse in 1984, and since 2008 he's vented his frustrations on the popular blog The Bitchy Waiter.

A snarky mix of David Sedaris, Anthony Bourdain, Erma Bombeck, and Mo Rocca, Cardosa distills 30 years of food service into dark, funny tales - about crazy customers, out-of-control egos, and what really goes on in that fancy restaurant - that anyone who worked in the industry will recognize and relate to.

©2016 Darron Cardosa (P)2016 Audible, Inc.

What members say

Average Customer Ratings

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  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars

Best Book Ever!!

Such a funny book! On top of the comedic stories, there are several heartwarming moments. This is the first book I have ever read that has made me literally laugh out loud. This is a must-read for anyone involved in the food service industry and an eye opener for anyone who isn't.

4 of 4 people found this review helpful

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    5 out of 5 stars
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A MUST READ!!!

It's like he is me, incarnate! The first paragraph will have you laughing out loud and understanding the meaning of life...

3 of 3 people found this review helpful

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    4 out of 5 stars
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    4 out of 5 stars

Laugh Out Loud Funny

I eat in a restaurant once or twice a week. Sometimes when I am waiting for my meal to arrive I watch the servers doing their work. Even in a moderately priced chain restaurant, it takes skill to do the job well. One reason I read this book was to to get more insight into what it's like to do this job.

Darren Cardosa finds humor in customer behavior that made me cringe. It is easy to understand why he is sometimes "bitchy." His narration is superb.

I found this book to be entertaining, informative and very funny. A perfect "summer read."





2 of 2 people found this review helpful

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    5 out of 5 stars
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Well...he IS bitchy.

And also very funny. Insult-comic funny. Spit-take funny. Loved it.

If you want to laugh out loud and learn a little something about what your server is thinking when, for instance, you present a clean plate and jokingly say the food was just terrible, get this book. (Just in case you imagine (as I did) that you're the only person who thought of that little joke, you're not.)

Worth the credit for the fun.

2 of 2 people found this review helpful

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    4 out of 5 stars
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  • Jean
  • Santa Cruz, CA, United States
  • 06-21-16

Hilarious

Cardosa said he started working in a restaurant while in high school. After college he continued in the industry while trying to make a career as a writer. He says he has worked in all types of restaurants, from neighborhood cafes, fast food to upscale celebrity chef spots and has worked all over the country.

The book has some funny stories about lousy tippers, obnoxious diners to misbehaved children. He also includes some dos and don’ts for diners which I thought were helpful. I could not believe that people would expect the waiter to run to a store to purchase something the restaurant did not provide on its menu or was out of that day. It is hard to believe the rudeness of people and in some ways the casual disregard is worse.

Cardosa said over two million people wait tables in this country. Cardosa says “Everyone should wait tables for three months. They’d understand what it’s like to have a job that’s considered subservient. People who’ve never been in that position don’t understand how easy it is to make someone feel degraded.”

I worked as a waitress while I was in high school; it is not a job I would care to do again. I did learn how tough the business world could be. The job greatly improved my memory as we were not allowed to write the orders down; we had to memorize them. Just think if you had six tables of four people each and everyone ordered something different. I have found that skill helpful over the years.

The book is well written and a delight to read. Cardosa did a good job narrating the book.

7 of 9 people found this review helpful

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Servers stick together

I'll never love another collection of server memoirs like I love this one. The Bitchy Waiter is one of my idols!

1 of 1 people found this review helpful

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  • Kim B
  • Lincoln, Ca United States
  • 06-23-16

So many hearty belly laughs!

I can go on and on with all the hilarious tales in Darron's book. Plenty of welcomed snark throughout and my favorite, a heartwarming story about an elderly couple. If you can relate at all to the everyday tribulations of server or retail life, I highly recommend this wonderful book! It's best on audio to get the highest listening experience, but I'm pretty sure I'll buy an actual copy anyway! Tip your server!

1 of 1 people found this review helpful

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    4 out of 5 stars
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The Title Says It All

Even though this is a reasonably short audiobook, it took me longer to finish than any other book I’ve started. The issue was figuring out how to approach it- which for me was in bite sized pieces, a little of Mr. Cardosa goes a long way. There’s no plot to speak of, the book is just a collection of stories, so it makes it easy to listen to one or two then move on for a bit.

Mr. Cardosa is bitchy indeed, but he’s often flat-out whiny. Honestly, there were points in this book where I would’ve given it one star- these are the moments when the author is disproportionally bothered by incredibly minor things and the moments where he makes jokes about people’s appearance.

However, there are moments when he tears into people who richly deserve it and there are moments when he shows glimpses of his humanity- and these are the parts of the book that kept me coming back to it. True confession: listening to the story about his grandmother Rita left me with tears rolling down my face. This is the only audiobook that’s ever made me cry, so I have to give Cardosa props for that.

The author is a great narrator and he’s a flat-out excellent writer. He’s got a knack for not being overly wordy, but still making you feel like you’re right there watching his scenes unfold. Even when I found him to be petty, I was still impressed with his talent- and that’s why I went with 4 stars rather than 3.
I’m not sure I’ll ever listen to this book again, but I do feel it was worth listening to.

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So many laughs!

If you could sum up The Bitchy Waiter in three words, what would they be?

Hospitality industry gold!

What did you like best about this story?

Darron is a wonderful author and narrator. He is hilarious and I love all his stories about the BS we all go through working in a restaurant.

Any additional comments?

If you're easily offended, and/or don't work in the restaurant industry, or are not willing to listen to real stories about asshole people, then you won't like this book. But, if you're in the industry and/or hate people, this is for you!

  • Overall
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    2 out of 5 stars

Starts off ok then loses me...

When the author just tells stories about his experiences, the book is amusing. Yes he tilts towards being really negative, but he's got "bitchy" right in the title, so... When he gets to the last chapter he reads these weird, pointless fictional stories that he has created based on his waiting experiences, ie he is a waiter at a dinner with Christ and the Apostles where Christ turns water into wine. All of these stories are not very good and hard to get through. He should stick to what he does best and tell stories about his real experiences as a waiter... This book was a decent time-waster, but in truth I could take it or leave it...