Combative to Collaborative: The Co-parenting Code

By: Teresa Harlow

Narrated by: Teresa Harlow

Length: 5 hrs and 39 mins

Publisher's summary

Achieve co-parenting success and raise happy children!

Co-parenting doesn’t have to be hard, or mean sacrificing either your family or your own happiness. It’s simply a matter of focus and choices. Combative to Collaborative: The Co-parenting Code channels parents’ interactions with each other to what they really want…to be good parents. But while most co-parenting books tell parents to just put the kids first even if that means sacrificing their own happiness, Combative to Collaborative shows parents how supporting each other as good parenting partners ensures they do what’s best for their kids while also achieving personal happiness. Move from anger, hurt, and loss to consideration, kindness, and cooperation.

You will discover:

• How to diffuse a co-parent’s snarky behavior and avoid triggering their hostility
• How to recognize your own combative behaviors and stop exhibiting them
• How to plan for co-parenting collaboration and success
• How to correct course when a relationship goes astray – even after many years of conflict!

The book, divided into three stages - Uncoupling, Life Goes On, and Correcting Course - lays out a roadmap for a particular area of co-parenting. Whether parents are newly separated, well into their journey, or have been at it for years, this book will guide the way.

• Explore what's at stake for the family.
• Identify the combative behaviors that derail parenting efforts and make life miserable for everyone.
• Read real-life experiences of other co-parents and how they handled their situations both successfully and not as well.
• Learn the Do's and Dont's of collaborative behaviors.
• Answer questions to adopt an empathetic mindset, apply the Golden Rule to your situation, and achieve the positive outcome you desire.

This is The Co-parenting Code!

©2021 Teresa Harlow (P)2022 Teresa Harlow

Critic reviews

"This book is a true breakthrough for co-parents struggling to positively interact or who want to get it right from the beginning. I highly recommend it!" (Jack Canfield, coauthor of the best-selling Chicken Soup for the Soul® series including Chicken Soup for the Parent’s Soul)

"Couples who have experienced the trauma of divorce and are trying to co-parent their children in the best possible way, will find this book extremely helpful." (Gary Chapman, Ph.D. author of The 5 Love Languages)

Requires Two Mentally Healthy People

This book is regularly recommended in high conflict divorce. The very nature of a high conflict divorce usually involves a parent who is not capable of collaborating. Domestic abuse advisors will recommend parallel parenting and limiting communication. Nearly every chapter in this book forces victims to interact with, communicate with, and extend gratitude to people who have harmed them and their children. This book gets ordered to be read again and again by judges and guardian ad litem. I commend the author for the single statement at the beginning of the book about it not being appropriate in situations of abuse, but knowing how often this book is recommended in high-conflict divorces, I feel the author has a duty to make a stronger statement to protect victims in a family court system that already leaves them and their children at risk.

In what world?

I found little to no practical application for 90% of the techniques shared leaving me more frustrated for reading it. It’s written for men and women but clearly directed to women.

Loved this book!

Get this book! I liked it so much that I read it twice, primarily via audio book in the car. I would recommend it to anyone coparenting children after divorce. It even helps with parenting skills if you’re not divorced. It's an easy read, and Teresa's narration is clear, and easy to listen to. It's a must-have reference guide to help answer what to do in coparenting situations that inevitably come up.

I am a product of a relatively successful coparenting family, and the points Teresa highlights are spot on. The book is chock full of immediately actionable tips and long-term strategies, from how to communicate the divorce to the kids to creating a Coparenting plan with an ex, all with a child-centered approach. What does your child feel during a divorce, and how to support them? What happens at birthdays, holidays and family functions? How to handle relationships with your exes extended family, particularly if you and your child were close? What happens when you or your ex start thinking about dating again? Combative to collaborative answers those questions.
 
The core philosophy she uses is based on the golden rule – to act in ways that will support the coparenting relationship, while maintaining clear boundaries to provide a consistent and healthy approach to your child’s upbringing. Following the golden rule may seem hard, and be the last thing on your mind with your ex. I get it. But when your kids are involved, isn't it worth the effort? Teresa navigates you beautifully through what to do and what not to do, with easy-to-understand techniques, and why they are important. This book will help many families in their coparenting journey to raise successful children, and confident adults who influence the next generation.
 
I highly recommend - Five stars!