Showing results by author "Iain Grant" in All Categories

It’s nearly Christmas, and Hedgelord Garden Centre is under new ownership — but something isn’t right. Sinister figures in black have taken over the shop floor, efficiency is at an all-time high, and nobody seems to know exactly who’s in charge or what they’re building in the warehouse. Charlotte Mitchell would love to get to the bottom of it, but she’s got bigger problems. Thanks to a spectacularly bad decision, she and her longtime rival Jack Hartigan have just destroyed the town’s famous nativity scene — and promptly been sacked.

Satan is made redundant from Hell and sent to live in suburbia. Getting fired can ruin a day… especially when you were the Prince of Hell. Will Satan survive in English suburbia?

Christmas at Hedgelord Garden Centre should be simple. But when one of those Santas goes rogue and films an incriminating adult movie, with Hedgelord’s grotto as the backdrop, sales manager Charlotte Mitchell finds herself in the middle of a festive disaster. The only way to save Hedgelord’s reputation is to track down the wayward Santa and secure the footage before it’s released. Unfortunately, she’s not the only one on the case — Jack Hartigan, her infuriatingly charming rival from Bloomers garden centre, is also in pursuit. Worse still, Santa has already fled to Lapland.

Charlotte Mitchell is determined to put Hedgelord Garden Centre at the heart of the community where it belongs. All she needs is the perfect festive season—lights, decorations, Santa, and the biggest Christmas display in town. But there’s just one problem: Jack Hartigan, her infuriatingly charming rival from Bloomers Garden Centre, has the same idea.

The earth has been invaded by unfathomable terrors from another dimension and international governments are doing their best to pretend nothing is happening. But you can’t keep an alien invasion hidden forever. A Hollywood production company is filming in the city: A spy thriller blockbuster that will introduce the Venislarn monsters to the viewing public. It’s a dream come true for the marketing team.

When Jeremy Clovenhoof decides to set himself up as president for life of his own breakaway country, he knows he’ll need money, lots and lots of money. That might be a bit difficult, particularly since the Inland Revenue has just presented him with an enormous tax bill and Heaven and Hell have sent Joan of Arc and Rutspud of the Sixth Circle to bring him under control.

Charged with gross incompetence, Satan is fired from his job as prince of Hell and exiled to that most terrible of places: English suburbia. Forced to live as a human under the name of Jeremy Clovenhoof, the dark lord not only has to contend with the fact that no one recognizes him or gives him the credit he deserves but also has to put up with the bookish war-gamer next door and the voracious man-eater upstairs.

The Venislarn. Vastly intelligent aliens from another dimension or dribbling insane gods from a distant realm? It’s impossible to tell. What’s certain is that they’re here and they’re going to destroy our world. But, hey, there’s no mileage to be gained from telling the kiddywinks that monsters are real.

The world’s last day has arrived. Hell itself has come to Earth. Streets of fire, rivers of blood, and the trains aren’t running on time. But Morag Murray isn’t going down without a fight. And as the mother to the anti-Christ, she feels a wee bit responsible.

Morag Murray works for the secret government organization responsible for making sure the apocalypse goes as smoothly and as quietly as possible. In her first week on the job, Morag has to hunt down a man-eating starfish, solve a supernatural murder, and, if she's got time, prevent her own inevitable death.

As punishment for his part in an attempted coup in heaven, the archangel Michael is banished to Earth. The holiest of the angelic host has to learn to live as a mortal - not an easy job when you’ve got Satan as a next-door neighbor. Michael soon finds that being a good person involves more than helping out at Sunday school and attending church coffee mornings. He has to find his purpose in life, deal with earthly temptations, and solve a mystery involving some unusual monks and a jar of very dangerous jam.

Stephen and his friends spent their teenage years immersed in the fantasy gaming worlds of wizards and warriors, undertaking quests to fight evil occultists, vanquish terrible monsters, and rescue damsels in distress. Now, 20-something years later, there is a real-life quest. Life as a monk has hardly prepared Brother Stephen for the mission ahead. Demon Rutspud is definitely not a damsel, but he is in distress. The evil occultists are real and if Stephen doesn’t rescue Rutspud from a fate worse than death, no one will...

All good things must come to an end.When Jeremy Clovenhoof is called up to serve his final role in the Apocalypse, he’s more than a little annoyed. He enjoys his quiet sinful life in suburban England and has some two-for-one vouchers for the local kebab shop he hasn’t spent yet.

Life at St Cadfan’s is never dull. There’s the cellar full of unexplained corpses. There’s the struggle to find food when the island is placed under quarantine. And there’s that peculiar staircase in the cellar.... Being a demon in Hell has its own problems. There’s the increasingly impossible torture quotas to meet. There’s the entire horde of Hell waiting for you to slip up and make a mistake. And there’s that weird staircase in the service tunnels.

When Jeremy Clovenhoof realises that he's become too fond of his creature comforts, he signs on as a roadie for a Danish heavy metal band and goes on tour. A whirlwind adventure of sex, drugs and rock and roll awaits this horny devil. However, things take a turn for the ridiculous when they pick up a band of Morris dancers on their way to a grudge match competition in the North of England.

The team: Joan of Arc, the armor-plated teen saint of Orleans. Francis of Assisi, friend to all the animals whether they like it or not. St Christopher, the patron saint of travel who by papal decree has never existed - no matter how much he argues otherwise. The mission: An impossible prayer has been received by heaven, and it’s a prayer that only Mary, mother of God, can answer. Unfortunately, Mary hasn’t been seen in decades and is off wandering the Earth somewhere. This elite team of heavenly saints are sent down to Earth to find Mary before Armageddon is unleashed.

To the devil a daughter! Parenthood can come as a shock to some. It’s especially shocking if you are Satan, the Prince of Hell, and are trying to live a quiet life of semi-retirement in suburban England under the name of Jeremy Clovenhoof. Clovenhoof quickly finds that being a single parent involves more than lullabies and nappies and has to contend with social disapproval, paternity tests and, possibly, the end of the world.

Lori Belkin has been dumped. By her parents. They moved out while she was away on holiday, and now, at the tender age of 25, she must stand on her own two feet. While she’s getting to grips with basic adulting, Lori magically brings to life the super-sexy man she created from celebrity photos as a teenager. Lori learns very quickly that having your ideal man is not as satisfying as it ought to be and that being an adult is far harder than it looks.

Jenny doesn’t know what they’ll do when they find out she’s a wicked witch. She can’t help being a wicked witch. It’s in her blood. She’s supposed to eat children, blast people with witchfire, and plot dark deeds with her foul-mouthed imp familiar, Jizzimus. Instead, she’s rescued a girl, Kay, from a band of people traffickers. To keep her safe they have signed up for a college course in an English country mansion. Jizzimus is not impressed. The mansion is not the safe haven they thought it would be.

Morag Murray is about to give birth to the Venislarn anti-Christ, and her baby is eager to be born. With only the possessed doll Steve the Destroyer to help her through her labors, she knows that when this child is born, the earth will face its final day. Nina Seth is literally out of her own time. An evil sorceress is causing havoc in 18th-century England.