Columbus Day

Expeditionary Force, Book 1

By: Craig Alanson

Narrated by: R.C. Bray

Length: 16 hrs and 23 mins

Publisher's summary

Nominee, Audie Awards - Audiobook of the Year, 2018

We were fighting on the wrong side of a war we couldn't win. And that was the good news.

The Ruhar hit us on Columbus Day. There we were, innocently drifting along the cosmos on our little blue marble, like the native Americans in 1492. Over the horizon come ships of a technologically advanced, aggressive culture, and BAM! There go the good old days, when humans only got killed by each other. So, Columbus Day. It fits.

When the morning sky twinkled again, this time with Kristang starships jumping in to hammer the Ruhar, we thought we were saved. The UN Expeditionary Force hitched a ride on Kristang ships to fight the Ruhar, wherever our new allies thought we could be useful. So, I went from fighting with the US Army in Nigeria, to fighting in space. It was lies, all of it. We shouldn't even be fighting the Ruhar, they aren't our enemy. Our allies are.

I'd better start at the beginning.

©2016 Craig Alanson (P)2016 Podium Publishing

WHISKEY TANGO FOXTROT

CHEESEBURGERS
A few months ago I VOLUNTOLD you that BOB would have legions of fans. Now I am telling you this will be the next book to hit number one in Sci-Fi Contemporary. This book has science galore, comedy galore, aliens galore and space battles. To say I love it would be an IMPLIED DUH, but than OVERKILL IS UNDER RATED.

YOU GOT SOME SPLAINING TO DO LUCY
The book is over 16 hours long, and Jim The Impatient listened to all 16+ hours and was entertained all the way. Alanson has great timing and knows how to keep a story from going stale. For example, just when I thought the book was going to enter a shoot-em up phase and become boring, we are introduced to SKIPPY, an A-HOLE AI, who is witty and funny. There is something here for all Sci-Fi fans. Nothing is really new, but a lot of the good old stuff is used. For instance there are ELDERS, CLIENT RACES, PATRONS, ANCIENT ARIFACTS AND THE COLLECTIVE.

EMBRACE THE SUCK
I am not saying this is my favorite, just that it will hit number one. My favorites in the category and in order are, The Martian, Ready Player One, Bob and than this book. Some might roll their eyes at the serendipity of finding Skippy and all that he does to get them out of trouble, but if you can get past that you will love this.

SCREW ONE SHEEP
I have been listening to books since the cassette days. I have heard lots of great narrators. I don't believe I have ever heard one grow in their job as well as Bray. He started out good, with his great voice, but what he has put into the last couple of books, I have listened to has just blown my mind. Based on the last two books, he read for me, I would say he has to be my favorite.

ALPHA MIKE FOXTROT

Sci Fi I didn't know I wanted

I usually over analyze anything I read or watch, not wanting to waste my time on dribble or uninteresting content. After spending too much time sorting through different audio books, I settled on the Expeditionary Forces series as it appeared interesting and is, well, a series. If I enjoyed it, that would postpone the excruciating task of finding another book.
I am ecstatic that I made this choice. As much as the story is engaging, the narration is as good or better than any I've listened to. Even sound effects are not needed to add anything. Very well done.
A little more science fiction detail wouldn't hurt but does not detract from the enjoyment of this writing.
The humor throughout was unexpected but welcome and well done. Not found very often in well written Sci Fi.
Off to start the second book!

Brilliant, Funny, Clever... a Sci Fi must have

It’s hard to know where to start when describing this instant modern classic. I’ve loved Sci Fi since I was yay high…I cut my teeth on space operas like the works of EE. Doc Smith. This is the next generation of space opera and it’s fabulous. It’s also quite funny in many places. It’s action packed but doesn’t feel silly like a lot of action fiction does. The plot includes dueling alien races of giant hamsters and lizards, faster than light travel and a snarky deus ex machina artificial Intelligence the size of a can of coke. Sounds ridiculous but is actually compelling, weirdly credible and wildly entertaining. I’m already most the way through book two which puts me close to a third of the way through a 50 hour epic. If you love hard Sci Fi, if you are a Trekki or a Star Wars fan you will lap this up.

Well...THAT was Certainly a Lot of Fun !!

At 16 hours, this is actually like reading two separate books -- the first is a pretty well done military "grunts in space" story. It is a notch above the usual because of the narration which is just great. But at about the halfway point, it transforms to a space opera-type of tongue-in-cheek story that is somewhere between Redshirts and Ready Player One -- inside jokes, clever asides and a much more self-aware story....and did I mention the narrator???? I'm not going to give away the story -- which is not really rocket science (sorry) -- but I think you will very much enjoy.

Slapstick Meets Sci-Fi

Would you consider the audio edition of Columbus Day to be better than the print version?

Yes, the reader gave a fantastic performance.

What was most disappointing about Craig Alanson’s story?

Skippy....just....Skippy. And how everything after that worked out conveniently fine for our heroes. Hardly any real conflicts because the soda can went behind the scenes and magically solved the issues they were having. Roses and rainbows after that.

Which scene was your favorite?

Some of the interactions between Skippy and Joe were entertaining; Skippy discovers the internet.

Did you have an extreme reaction to this book? Did it make you laugh or cry?

Chuckles, but nothing extreme.

Any additional comments?

The story stopped being good after Skippy showed up....think, Jar Jar Binks with a brain. After that, it felt like a comedy sitcom like "Alf", goofy alien saves the day. And the condescending nature of the beer can reminded me of the little green alien that showed up once in an episode of the Flintstones..."dumb dumb"... I likely won't be buying the next book in the series as long as Skippy's around to conveniently fix everything before anyone gets hurt. The story becomes predictable...oh no, lizards!..oh, wait...never mind, Skippy will just blow up their ship from the inside and 100 light years away. No need to panic. Rinse, repeat.

Mind numbing !

This book lacks style and substance . I have no interest in any of the characters as the story seems rushed. The main character goes from one impossible situation after the other , after the other , after the other. But you never really get the feeling like he is in any danger.
The narration is poorly done. He seems to drone on and on, like one of those movies where the mobster is narrating the movie. He is probably thinking “ If i just talk faster with a Brooklyn accent that will be entertaining enough.” Maybe they should have listened to Ready Player One for an example of narration perfection. Will Weaton sold the show!!!
The editor could have chopped this book in half and it would have been better.

This book is SO MUCH FUN!!i

Where does Columbus Day rank among all the audiobooks you’ve listened to so far?

I've listened to a lot of really excellent books and this book is excellent in it's category. I was totally enjoying a well written piece of entertainment, narrated by the perfect narrator for the book and bam! It got even so much better!!

What was one of the most memorable moments of Columbus Day?

I don't like this question because it's asking for spoilers, but I think I can say when Skippy and Joe got together, without giving too much away.

Was this a book you wanted to listen to all in one sitting?

Yes, yes, yes! And I want the next book. NOW!!!

Any additional comments?

This is a 100% entertaining book. Not believable, but that was no way a goal of the writers. Entertaining, fun, exciting. If you like sci-if fun, go for it. You will not be disappointed.

Alanson and Bray ROCK!!!

This audible book is the perfect union between author and narrator, really, it doesn’t get better! I loved this book, sci-fi with humor, you can’t go wrong! R.C. Bray is freaking awesome, I don’t think anyone could have done a better job, he’s totally a gifted narrator! I’m already through to book 4 and waiting on book 5 if that tells you how much I like this series so jump on this train, it’s a great ride!

An Excellent Sci-Fi Adventure

This was a really excellent book that kept me wanting to listen straight through... It was just about everything I could want in a good sci-fi book, and more!

The story begins with an alien invasion that takes the world by surprise. Power plants and critical infrastructure across the planet are targeted and Earth's military forces are no match for their overwhelming force. A military reservist and his buddies manage to capture one of the alien soldiers after their ship crash lands in their hometown. The main character treats him well and eventually releases him, bringing him to the attention of the military's top brass and winning the appreciation of the alien race.
The aliens are soon driven away by another superior alien force. Pegging the new aliens as the saviors of the planet, Earth governments are all too happy to send hundreds of thousands of soldiers off planet to fight along-side their technologically superior allies. However, their new "allies" may not be all that they appear to be, and a great deal of our military might is now off planet... Do they really have humanity's best interest in mind? Are our attackers and enemies really out to harm or destroy humanity?
The main character goes from a small town enlisted reservist to one of the last, best hopes for humanity. Can he, a single powerful ally, and a rag-tag group of soldiers protect the planet from the vastly superior technology of the other alien races in the galaxy? Can they pull Earth off of the front lines of a millennia-long proxy war?

This book was good for the first half but was positively outstanding by the last few chapters. Not only was it good, but it was actually full of great humor. I laughed out loud on multiple occasions. The writing really was excellent. I was actually pretty surprised at the direction it went, but that was a good thing! I can't wait to listen to the next book.

The narrator was top-notch. He's narrated several other books I've listened to and I couldn't be happier.

This book will be enjoyed by any fans of military or space sci-fi. It has everything from alien tech, land battles, space battles, and all of the characters are very realistic and believable. All of the military slang and jargon were straight out of your choice of military service. 5 stars all-around!

A Book to Lighten Up the Mood

Any additional comments?

This is one of those shallow, entertaining on-the-rails rollercoaster books I love. The whole point is escapism and laughs. Sorry, but there isn't any real character development, giant allegories, or any of that silly "literature" stuff here.

What we do have is one poor combat grunt that keeps ending up in the worst possible place at the worst possible times. Each time he ends up there good ol' Lady Luck comes around and beats him with a baseball bat filled with love and barbwire. Plucky plans against different enemy alien shenanigans and a fateful meeting with a uproarious lonely male (weird right?) AI ensues. The AI even admits that he's a jerk.

So if you want a hilarious adventure romp on easy mode, pick this book up, I mean it is like Old Man's War or Willful Child. If not, go pick up I dunno, 2001 or something.

Clearly I'm in a minority but...

Don't get this review wrong, I did generally enjoy this book but I don't think it is the 5 star gem other reviewers seem to agree on. The idea is great and the mix of humour is fairly unique given that this is not the focus of the book, this is a really difficult balance to achieve, so the author deserves kudos for the attempt. However the characters are shallow and the plot is simplistic; motivation for uber-intelligent species to be conducting a galaxy encompassing war is never explored and the aforementioned humour is school-boy at best. Coupled with a overly large dollop of American jingoism and you're left with a basic if enjoyable yarn to waste a few hours on but not a 5 star listen. I doubt I'll continue with the series.

Fantastic start to what I hope is a great series

This was an impulse buy and I was a little worried at first. I needn't be though as it was gripping from the start. It's well written and easy to listen to, R.C Bray was as usual, a spot on choice for the narrator. The book has a great change part way through that really sent the story in another direction that was very well delivered. Overall it's a great easy listen. There's some obvious ideas liberated from other sci-fi greats, both written and televised but it works really well.

Heinlein or Adams? Maybe pick one and run with it

What disappointed you about Columbus Day?

The book is written from the perspective of a Sergeant in the US Army. So far, so Heinlein (Starship Troopers). Indeed, the book contains all the gung-ho Americana you want, if that's your thing (it's not my thing). There's very little hard sci-fi here - by limiting us to our Sergeant's perspective we're never allowed/invited to grasp any of the mind-blowing changes that alien contact might have initiated, and I was left dissapointed by the limiting of perspective.

However, the abrupt shift in tone halfway through the book (the character 'Skippy' is introduced) is jarring. Suddenly we're in Douglas Adams territory - being invited to laugh at ourselves as a species. Humour is really difficult to pull off (Adams was a master) and Alanson frankly isn't all that funny - obvious gags about Facebook and Cat videos don't really cut it. However, it's not really either element of the book that really bothered me, it was the rather crude splicing of what felt like two different ideas together. Write a serious book about a soliders' experience of cutting edge war in space, or a lighthearted satire of humanity when shown to be idiotic in the face of greater intelligence. I think it takes more skill than Alanson has to splice the two, if it were even possible.

Has Columbus Day put you off other books in this genre?

There are usually compromises to be made when reading sci-fi, which is frustrating but it wouldn't put me off entirely.

What about R.C. Bray’s performance did you like?

The narration is really good. I totally bought R.C Bray's characterisation of Col. Joe. Bray really brought our narrator to life. In fact, I think he rescued what is a pretty poor book.

If you could play editor, what scene or scenes would you have cut from Columbus Day?

Honestly, I would have suggested to Alanson that he decided what sort of book he wanted to write and stick with it. There are two interesting ideas for books here - one hard-boiled military tale in the tradition of Heinlein et al, and another in the tradition of Adams etc. This book is a great illustration of why a consistent tone is so vital.

Any additional comments?

I'm genuinely baffled by the glowing reviews of this book.

The Star Trek Spirit

If you're hankering for the old spirit of Star Trek, well at least the more humorous episodes, with perhaps a little Starship Troopers blended in then freshly seasoned with some Blake's 7 then this is the place to come! Alanson strikes an excellent balance between injecting plentiful humour and making the story serious enough and the action tough enough to make you care. If, on the other hand you are looking for a modern-day Heinlein then you can stop reading now, these aren't the pages you're looking for.

There are lots of hi-lites in this book including a classic choice of vehicle early on to conduct an attack and some genuinely original sci-fi gags. There are of course some "classics" in there but what steals the show is the relationship between Joe and "Mr Skippy" (think Oracs with huge upgrades especially in the personality department) which had me laughing out loud on more than one occasion.

The narration? Well I've Spent a lot of time in the company of Mr RC Bray recently and I love him doing his thing in books like the Arisen and Mountain Man series. He injects great tension and drama into the situations and action scenes. But who would ever have guessed from that he could really do comedy too?? Well it seems he can, he sounded like he was genuinely having a blast at times reading this one.

I always try to avoid spoilers but this book ends by setting up a real Star Trek exploring the universe against the backdrop of warring factions scenario. I am very much looking forwards to where the remaining crew will boldly go.

Hampsters, Beer Cans & Cheese Burgers

I've read a lot of books and a fair bit of science fiction and so when I saw this novel from an author I had not previously read anything from, I was curious. I listened to the sample and was hooked instantly. Not only was the narration handled by one of the very best in the business, R C Bray, but the writing style of this author was superb.

So, I purchased the title hoping the book would be as good as the brief sample promised. I have to report that this book wasn't as good as I had first thought ... it was far better! Not that I had low expectations, quite the opposite but it is rare indeed to find a story so well written and so pacey and so utterly entertaining that I was fairly certain it could not maintain even the expectations I had based on the sample.

How would I sum this book up? Well, simple ... just about perfect! Perhaps a bold statement and of course, I realize that any opinions on such things are largely subjective but as science fiction stories go, this one ticks all the boxes and does it with such aplomb. Of all the science fiction writers I've read, I'd say the style and content of this story is perhaps closest to another favourite author of mine, B V Larson. Larson writes uncomplicated military based science fiction and Craig Alanson has a very similar style which, in my humble opinion, makes science fiction fun, entertaining, never boring and action packed. In several ways Columbus Day reminds me of Larsson Star Force series of books in that we have a hapless hero who is thrust into situations that allow his adaptability to get him in and out of all sorts of trouble. Where Alanson differs is that his style of writing has humour and irony woven into the two lead characters - our human hero, Joe Bishop and an artificial intelligence dubbed Skippy buy said hero. The interactions between these two alone make the book at times a hilarious read. However, this humour doesn't detract from the often gritty elements of the story but are perfectly done. This was the first science fiction book I actually laughed out loud to on several occasions and it only made the book that much better. The Joe Bishop character is not the straight laced stereotype hero but a real person who asks the sort of question the reader thinks of to ask or points out the flaws in a plan that the reader has figured out which proves to be very satisfying.

Alanson's prose are engaging, funny and efficiently move the plot along at a good clip not wasting dialogue or lengthy narrative on things not required for the story. You will not find pages of dialogue wasted here by people idly chatting when it's not needed and as such the plot develops at a pace and in a way to keep the reader hooked. I actually tried to ration my listening of this book because I didn't want to finish it too fast! Before I'd finished chapter 1 I had pre-ordered the second book in this series so now I've finished this book I only have two days before the next part is released ... thank goodness!

Incidentally, we are treated to a sample of book 2 at the end of this book just to whet your appetite. However, rather oddly, there seemed a glaring production error in that final section of the recording as the sample appeared to have the first half of it loop through twice before continuing with the second part. Weird.

Also of minor interest to me was the fact that assuming the book is written in a contemporary timeframe, then based on the date of release, it would appear that the author, like most of us, assumed that Hillary Clinton would win the presidency and Alanson has duly worked a female president into his story.


Interestingly, either the author has had direct military experience himself or has done a lot of research as many of the little details in the book hint at this. Familiarity with current military hardware, organization and even slang is impressive and something lacking in some other authors writing.

I first came across R C Bray's narration in the Fear saga books and was impressed immediately. If possible, his narration here is even more impressive and I would dare to say, flawless. About the only other narrator that could pull off a good job of this would be the equally excellent Mark Boyett.

Although already mentioned, I will reiterate that Columbus Day is just about perfect which I know is a very controversial comment to make but until I find a book I enjoyed more and felt was better written and read then the statement stands.

Get it! ... NOW!!

Excellent, original and narrated by a master

RC Bray is reason enough to buy an audiobook. Brilliant performance of an original and entertaining book. Need the next book now!

Fun in a can

The story trots along quite nicely at the beginning but when the intelligent beer can cracks open this story gallops into a whole new level. Excellent fun.

Good fun

Think Independence Day meets Star Trek.

Of course, when an alien star ship turns up in earth's atmosphere, followed closely by a second alien race, you just know it's all not going to work out in Earth's favour. Our little earth-weapons clearly aren't up to the task! Naturally, the cunning humans' plan is to simply nick the other lots' ships, weapons etc et.... I've totally overly simplified the plot with that statement - but that's the feel of the book.

It's good fun, great narration, and I've downloaded the next book in the series for when I need some light relief. The adjective "jaunty" seems to fit the bill. Onwards then, for a merry jaunt through the universe.....

Perfect distraction to 2020

I’m sat at home, 7 days into Covid, feeling horrible and struggling to breath and this have been a lifesaver. Keeps me distracted, calm and it is perfectly pitched and the RC Bray is superb.

Just a whole lotta fun.

This in not heavy SciFi like Peter F. This is fun.
Craig C. Has managed to take some form of serious adventure and also make it humerus. This isn’t slapstick as some reviews imply but it’s also not overly serious and deep like a Iain B. It’s really funny and a darn good adventure too. Some have complained it too formulaic, but so is a drink, and who doesn’t need a drink from time to time just to relax and enjoy. Just like this book.