The Art of Asking

How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Let People Help

By: Amanda Palmer, Jamy Ian Swiss, Brené Brown - introduction

Narrated by: Amanda Palmer, Ellen Archer, Jamy Ian Swiss

Rock star, crowdfunding pioneer, and TED speaker Amanda Palmer knows all about asking. Performing as a living statue in a wedding dress, she wordlessly asked thousands of passersby for their dollars. When she became a singer, songwriter, and musician, she was not afraid to ask her audience to support her as she surfed the crowd (and slept on their couches while touring). And when she left her record label to strike out on her own, she asked her fans to support her in making an album, leading to the world's most successful music Kickstarter.

Even while Amanda is both celebrated and attacked for her fearlessness in asking for help, she finds that there are important things she cannot ask for-as a musician, as a friend, and as a wife. She learns that she isn't alone in this, that so many people are afraid to ask for help, and it paralyzes their lives and relationships. In this groundbreaking book, she explores these barriers in her own life and in the lives of those around her, and discovers the emotional, philosophical, and practical aspects of The Art of Asking.

Part manifesto, part revelation, this is the story of an artist struggling with the new rules of exchange in the twenty-first century, both on and off the Internet. The Art of Asking will inspire readers to rethink their own ideas about asking, giving, art, and love.

Love the book. Palmer reads and sings here!

What made the experience of listening to The Art of Asking the most enjoyable?

Amazing to hear Amanda Palmer read this to me, play music, sing her songs. The book is potentially life-altering without these additional courtesies ... with them, it's magic.

What was one of the most memorable moments of The Art of Asking?

The things that hurt, are sad, are powerful. In one example, someone claims to have lost her family in a disaster to get Amanda's attention. And her response, that it's a tragedy either way, is the wisest possible.

What about Amanda Palmer’s performance did you like?

It feels very real and immediate to me, not that I'm an expert on this -- I feel like we've been on a journey together. Palmer and I are different, and my life isn't, couldn't be, much like hers -- but I am inspired, grateful, and changed.

What’s an idea from the book that you will remember?

This book has so many things in it. I'll remember the way autobiography frames, and makes relevant, the citation of research. I'll remember the call to love and be loved, and admonition to ask for what I need, the advice that there isn't always a crowd who can hear and deliver on any given request.

Any additional comments?

The profanity in the book is not obnoxious, but it means I don't feel comfortable giving it to, for example, Mom.

Worth it.

What did you love best about The Art of Asking?

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If you’ve listened to books by Amanda Palmer and Brené Brown (foreword) before, how does this one compare?

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Have you listened to any of Amanda Palmer’s other performances before? How does this one compare?

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What did you learn from The Art of Asking that you would use in your daily life?

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Any additional comments?

This book is not so much about the art of asking as it is about the author's life. That said, Amanda Palmer seems to live her life more interestingly, candidly, and intuitively than the rest of us so it's most likely worth your while regardless. I was not a Dresden Dolls fan or an Amanda Palmer fan before listening to the audiobook (though I had seen her TED talk), but her honesty and appetite for connection really impressed me. The audiobook also includes all kinds of musical stylings and interludes, so I recommend it over the print version.

And might I ask for more?

What did you love best about The Art of Asking?

The elaboration of the TED talk in general, without glossing over the ways in which it sometimes does not work out (because life happens or because people make mistakes). This book works on the level pondering new ways to make a creative living for yourself, but also tells the story of Amanda Palmer's life revolving around her career and vice versa.

Which character – as performed by Amanda Palmer – was your favorite?

Amanda's toned down but decidedly non-British imitation of Neil Gaiman. Wonderful.

What’s an idea from the book that you will remember?

Connection. It's all about connecting genuinely.

Any additional comments?

This was my favorite non-fiction book of the year. Considering this is the year Lena Dunham and Amy Poehler both also released books, I'm going to call that a victory for Amanda Palmer.

The Art Of Amanda Palmer's Love

If you could sum up The Art of Asking in three words, what would they be?

This book is a masterpiece of love, life and experiences of Amanda Palmer. There is no way to just sum up the book. You have to listen to it, read it, morse code it. Anything you can do to get this book in your life, do it.

What did you like best about this story?

The entire story is very open and raw in a way that no other memoir or biography has been able to grasp. It perfectly encompasses all I know Amanda Palmer to be and have experienced. Her soul lay bare while we turn the proverbial pages through her mind.

What does Amanda Palmer bring to the story that you wouldn’t experience if you just read the book?

Palmer spins a web of beauty with just a subtle tone of her voice. It really made me feel as though I were there listening to her trials and tribulations over her years only to come up with the fact that all you truly need in this world is love and asking for a bit of help when you need it.

What did you learn from The Art of Asking that you would use in your daily life?

I learned to slow down, be patient, enjoy the moment and always remember that it's okay to ask questions in life.

So real

I had never heard of Amanda Palmer before reading this book but gave it a chance because I am a huge Brene Brown fan. I stopped listening after the first hour because I didn't feel the relevance to the title ... Yet. Then, her tTed Talk appeared on my feed and I watched and listened with eagerness for more of her message. I have listened to this book over and over these last few months and have assimilated Amanda's heartfelt messages into my daily life. I've recommended her Ted Talk and this book to everyone I love and care about, even strangers. The message is huge and you'll be surprised at how your musical tastes will expand as well.