I Choose Darkness

A Holiday Essay

By: Jenny Lawson

Narrated by: Jenny Lawson

From cheap costumes to creepy dolls to questionable candy, number one New York Times bestselling author Jenny Lawson weaves a hauntingly hilarious account of her ongoing—sometimes outrageous—Halloween life.

The holly-jolly holidays aren’t for everyone, least of all when you look back on that one Christmas when there were two definitely haunted dolls waiting for you and your sister under the tree. You have to assume that’s where it all started.

And so it was for Jenny Lawson. Now, she lives in the land of eternal Halloween, as evidenced by her interior decor and general state of darkness. (Although, if you ask her, her taxidermy zoo is less dark, more delightful. But not everyone has taste, so what are you going to do?)

This essay takes Jenny back to where it all started, from her humble beginnings as a trick-or-treater in the 1980s, on high alert for (logistically improbable) candy laced with razor blades and the (allegedly) ever-present threat of satanists on the loose. From there, she has risen from the candy-wrapper ashes of her childhood to claim her rightful lifestyle as the queen of Halloween.

©2022 Jenny Lawson. (P)2022 Brilliance Publishing, Inc., all rights reserved.

this author can read

this author can read. well done and funny. I hope this is enough words.. .

Hysterical Halloween

Jenny shares her holiday memories of basically Texas Halloween celebrations. Great for a good laugh!

Jenny Lawson is all over and I love it

The Bloggess, her Grace may she reign forever, aka Jenny Lawson, has an inner voice like the one in my head. Listening to her tell a story is SO fun! I just can relate to her so hard, I love it. Halloween is my favorite too, and I can’t tell a story in a linear way either. Give this a listen; from the comments by her husband, the convos with her editor, the taxidermy and the real blood at Halloween, you won’t be disappointed. If you are, it’s your own fault.

Another relatable story by Jenny Lawson.

I've been a fan since her mostly true memoir, "Let's pretend this never happened" as another child of the early 80s I can appreciate stories like this on a whole other level. listened to it while driving and I laughed the whole ride.

Yikes!

The story was unpleasant and all over the place. It was like the drunken call you get from a long lost friend. I’m sorry, but the author shouldn’t have read her book her voice is irritating! And she spoke too fast. Another reader might have been able to help make this a better listen.

Awesome

This is hilarious. The author does great narration and the story is so relatable, I'm not sure who to share it with first, my cousins or my brothers.

100% Entertaining!

I almost never leave reviews but I had to speak up. Literally almost every sentence in this book is entertaining! The author has an amusing down home charm and hilarious sense of humour that carries throughout the book. It brought back memories of similar experiences that filled me with warmth.

Lol

I Love everything by Jenny Lawson because she is awesome! I laughed out loud. Fantastic!

Want More of Jenny Lawson!!

Loved it! I have been hooked on her books since the first one. Always waiting on the newest for the Laughs & adventures, but it never comes soon enough. FromS.F.💖

never disappointed

Jenny is my kindred spirit and I wish we were best friends. I also was forced into those same costumes and more politically incorrect options over the years. oh and how many times was I forced to be Annie...