I Can't Date Jesus

Love, Sex, Family, Race, and Other Reasons I've Put My Faith in Beyoncé

By: Michael Arceneaux

Narrated by: Michael Arceneaux

Length: 6 hrs and 9 mins

Publisher's summary

New York Times best seller

Featured as one of summer’s most anticipated books by the Los Angeles Times, Vogue, Vulture, Entertainment Weekly, ELLE, Buzzfeed, and Bitch Media

From the author of I Don’t Want to Die Poor and in the style of New York Times best sellers You Can’t Touch My Hair, Bad Feminist, and I’m Judging You, a timely collection of alternately hysterical and soul‑searching essays about what it is like to grow up as a creative, sensitive Black man in a world that constantly tries to deride and diminish your humanity.

It hasn’t been easy being Michael Arceneaux.

Equality for LGBTQ people has come a long way and all, but voices of persons of color within the community are still often silenced, and being Black in America is...well, have you watched the news?

With the characteristic wit and candor that have made him one of today’s boldest writers on social issues, I Can’t Date Jesus is Michael Arceneaux’s impassioned, forthright, and refreshing look at minority life in today’s America. Leaving no bigoted or ignorant stone unturned, he describes his journey in learning to embrace his identity when the world told him to do the opposite.

He eloquently writes about coming out to his mother; growing up in Houston, Texas; being approached for the priesthood; his obstacles in embracing intimacy that occasionally led to unfortunate fights with fire ants and maybe fleas; and the persistent challenges of young people who feel marginalized and denied the chance to pursue their dreams.

Perfect for fans of David Sedaris, Samantha Irby, and Phoebe Robinson, I Can’t Date Jesus tells us - without apologies - what it’s like to be outspoken and brave in a divisive world.

©2018 Michael Arceneaux. All rights reserved. (P)2018 Simon & Schuster, Inc. All rights reserved.

Critic reviews

"[A] witty and powerful collection of personal essays.... Arceneaux’s confident voice and unapologetic sense of humor will appeal to fans of Roxane Gay." (Publishers Weekly)

"Arceneaux's essays penetrate to the heart of intersectionality to reveal personal and religious trials of faith. Together, they make a powerful statement of self-acceptance in a world much in need of lessons about diversity, tolerance, and openness. A funny, fierce, and bold memoir in essays." (Kirkus Reviews)

"Hilarious...Arceneaux’s acerbic humor is reminiscent of the very best work of American humorist and author David Sedaris." (The Advocate)

Great listen!

Michael offers beautiful, deep, and funny stories from his life. I appreciate the invitation to hear from his perspective.

Authentic & Honest

Our book club selected this book and I'm glad they did. The author was authentic, honest and real. thank you for sharing your story with the world and, like Mary J Blige, I too hope you find the right person to love forever.

Great work!

I haven’t been able to stop listening! Michael keeps me laughing with his witty and relevant commentary. The personal stories he shares really add color to his material and makes me crave any more. A must have for everyone!

Must read ... so many laughs

This book was everything!!! I can’t believe so many people complain about his voice. I thought it was great. He has this monotone sarcasm that goes perfect with how he writes. The book is so vulnerable and gives us a little insight on what it’s like being a black gay man. Even as a black cisgender woman I have experienced the comments of my older family members and can’t imagine what he must feel like. Thank you so much for letting us in on your life Michael ... this book was amazing! As a Christian I will now ask myself am I just tolerating people or truly allowing them to come in and be their authentic selves with me. Thank you for helping me grow.

Excellent book!

I read this book because I learned that Michael was from Houston like me. That enhances the book because I could picture the places and neighborhoods that he mentioned and it was like I was a part of it. Beyond that, I love his sense of humor and hearing about his childhood and how he went after his dreams. I have the Audible version of the book and listening to it while at work helped a usually long and boring day go by very quickly. I hope that Michael has plans to write more books.

Witty, thought provoking, well narrated

I love an author-narrated memoir, ESPECIALLY when the memoir is this fantastic. Michael Arceneaux, thank you for your contributions to this earth. I have recommended this book to so many. To hear your own well-written work in your own voice made it so much more personal.

Must read.

A Phenomenal book, written by a Phenomenal young man!

I approached this book like I approach everything...with an open mind. I have to say, Michael, you are now one of my favorite authors. The way you wrote and performed this book made it extremely easy to relate. While our story’s are different, there are SO many similarities. Just as Mary’s “My Life,” has been a staple in my life, your book has now also become a staple. Thank you for sharing and thank you for being YOU!

It did inspire

The author finishes the book by saying he aims at inspiring and be inspired. He did just that for me. His focus and ethics at succeeding are remarkable. I also loved how candid he was. I have been trying to concentrate my reading on work by black writers and was attracted to the title because I am an atheist. First few chapters made me laugh but ended up learning quite a bit about Mr Arceneaux’s generation, life style, likes and dislikes. Authors generally fail at reading their own work but, despite mumbling some, he did just fine. I wish him much success.

Great Book!

This book was a great read! Comical and informative. I highly recommend this book to others. My only negative feedback was sometimes I felt the book was all over the place with the timelines, but the stories are very entertaining.

See Yourself, See someone new

I, a black queer man from The South, was recommended this book by a friend. It was great to join in Michael's journey and hear him tell his perspective.

Michael Arceneaux is charming and relatable in this book, even if every vignette is not. As with many memoirs, if you are open to hearing a stranger's life story through their own eyes and willing to connect with them on a human level, you will enjoy this book.