Flirtasaurus

By: Erin Mallon

Narrated by: Erin Mallon

Length: 7 hrs and 5 mins

Publisher's Summary

My name is Calliope and "I bone for a living." Kidding. I am studying to be a paleontologist though. It's the only thing I've ever wanted to be, and I have finally landed the perfect museum internship to make all of my dino-loving dreams come true. 

Trouble is, everyone wants me to be a gentle, loving sort of creature, but I'm more of the T-Rex type by nature - the kind who is determined to stomp and tear her way through any obstacle in order to get what she wants. 

But when a sexy, rumbly-voiced astronomer plummets into my orbit and threatens to break open my hard little heart, my career and my whole way of looking at the world is suddenly on the line. 

The dinosaurs didn't see their asteroid coming. 

And I sure as hell wasn't prepared for mine. 

©2020 Erin Mallon (P)2020 Erin Mallon

Couldn't Finish

This book is just not for me. I couldn't even finish it. I still have about 3 hours left and I'm willing to bet I won't be missing much. There were so many issues with this book, I don't even know where to begin. First, what 6 year old now days walks around talking about gender preference and gets upset when categorized as either boy or girl? I back the LGBTQ+ community 100% but I found it extremely hard to believe that a 6 year old would make comments about how some of her peers may not identify as either male or female and get upset when the class is addressed with "Alright boys and girls".

Second, Calliope made plenty of references about how females use the word sorry as a filler and say it way too much so she decided that instead of saying sorry, she would say "f*** you, what" in it's place. She even slipped during a meeting with her well-esteemed supervisor and said "f*** you, what," and then apologizes for the slip, explains why she said it and how the word sorry is a filler and then her supervisor is completely okay with it. This of course is after her supervisor tells Calliope she has en eyebrow problem after which Calliope goes on this rant towards her supervisor about sexism and what not. Also, during one of the conversations Calliope has with Ralph, she goes on and on about how the English language has so many words that she doesn't understand why people won't use the words they actually mean. So you mean to tell me out of the entire English language, "f*** you, what" is the ONLY thing this character could come up with to replace, "I'm sorry, what?"

Third, during an overnight camp out at the museum which Calliope was in charge of chaperoning, she and Ralph end up getting high on shrooms and start doing messing around in the exhibit Calliope was hired to work on. This is admittedly where I stopped listening. After listening to a very annoying Calliope excitedly go on about the big "condom moment", I just couldn't take it anymore. Do they end up having sex? Will they get caught? Did the camera's end up getting installed earlier than expected? At this point, I couldn't care less. The way that both Calliope and Ralph acted was ridiculous. I work with dozens of Scientists, Marine Biologists, and other scholarly individuals are I'm simply glad none of them act the way these two do.

Overall this book was a giant disappointment. I read the reviews and thought I'd give it a try because they all seemed so positive but it's obviously just not for me. I can't even blame it on my age either. I'm only 30 and I still found this book hard to listen to.

⭐️ 5 Stars for Making Me Laugh So Much! ⭐️

What could be better than listening to your favorite audiobook narrator...listening to her narrate a book she wrote!! Seriously Erin Mallon's talent knows no bounds, she is not only a great narrator but now we find out she is an awesome writer too!! After finishing her debut novel, it's seriously hard to believe this is Erin's first book.

This book is so funny from beginning to end. I can honestly say I have never laughed this much in one book. The characters are so original and quirky you can't help but love them all. Calliope's best trait is her inability to filter, she opens her mouth and her thoughts poor out (and usually at the worst possible moment lol). Ralph was a perfect match for her because even though he has a filter and wasn't so crazy, he balanced her out and was the exact things she needed. From their meet-cute, he just rolled with her crazy and got her completely. I can say that I will be quoting from this book for a long time because there were so many great scenes & lines. The writing has the perfect mix of wit and humor that it makes this so much more than a romantic comedy. This book is everything i wanted it to be and so much more!

Flirtasaurus

Reviewing books you LOVED is hard; you don’t want to be too gushy that people think you’re over doing it. But you want to be gushy enough to show just how much you loved the book.

I loved this book no joke I was laughing to the point of tears and I can honestly say that has only happened a handful of times.

What it did have was awesome and relatable characters. Romance genre is my jam and this book had all the things I love –memorable meet cute, awkward get to know you, unforgettable characters, great supporting characters, funny one liners, passion, relatability, and the HEA.

It is a make your heart happy kind of book which I feel like we need right now.

Erin’s narration is perfect as always. I especially liked that each character has their own quirks and voices it just really added to the audio. Give it that extra dimension, I can’t wait for Mabel’s story!

Slow

I skipped a lot of chapters. It was so slow and pointless. Very disappointed. Under developed characters. The heroine wasn’t that like able and the fact that they said this was a romantic comedy is false. People’s thoughts are humorous, but the key to a good romantic comedy is everyone else that experiences it. Also, ones thoughts may seem humorous to them but are so off the mark for everyone else that it should be billed as an autobiography rather than a romantic comedy. Nothing to laugh at here.

Not for me

I wanted to love it, dont know, just felt pointless and forced. can see how someone else enjoys this

Great guy, terrible female protagonist

I kept getting so angry with the protagonist. She was pretty darn terrible to the point where I don’t believe she could be redeemed. The love interest astronomer character was a dream though. What a trooper for putting up with all that.

DNF

I just could not stand the protagonist, she was so annoying and I could not see how the author could possibly give her any redeemable qualities. Not for me

annoying character and narrator

I had such high hopes for this book but I was so annoyed by this character - the ramblings and stupidity were just too much for me to take, I couldn't even finish it. and the narrator says every sentence with the same intonation! there's no variety or sincerity at all! Very disappointed

Refreshing, relatable & Hilarious!🦖😝

This is Erin Mallon's debut novel as an author and what a book!
I actually stayed up all night listening to this for 7 hours straight!

The concept of the book is refreshing, the characters are relatable and well fleshed out and the dialogue is absolutely hilarious!!
I haven't laughted so hard while listening to a romantic comedy!

I'm definitely looking forward to what she has in store for us in book 2.

The audio delivery performed by her was apt to the storyline and the characters and so very enjoyable!
It was such a treat listening to this one.

Dissapointment

I were very excited to see a book by Erin Mallon as I love her narration. This book was just TOO much for me, had to ask for a refund. Could not finish it.The story could have been great but the ridiculous way a supposed "educated" women acts and says random stupid things is just too much for me.

What to say. ..

...well that's easy, it's great, loved the book, the story and the narration! Erin is so talented, just off to listen to the next one. Thank You

Abundance of giggles

If ever running out of books to listen to, I´ll just get to the stack narrated by Erin Mallon. She is so fabulous. Another fabulous thing here. The name of the book. Bought it for the name, And what a joy. Listened to this book in July and still remember it due to the laughs. That said, don´t remember what it was about, just that I enjoyed it. So ... have started listening to it again. And bought the second in series.

I just couldn’t stop laughing!!

I have loved listening to Erin Mallon narrating for various authors and couldn’t wait to listen to her narrate her own book.
This story is brilliant.
Calliope is a refreshing character.
Her family are just comedy gold.
I loved this story and laughed till I cried on more than one occasion.
I’m looking forward to listing to more from Erin.

Funn, sweet, great Fun!

Thank you Erin for that book, its one of the best rom-com i have read and i can't wait for next one from you.

This was a fantastic, hilarious, smart debut!

Laugh-out-loud, hilarious romance featuring a dreamy hero and a genius, geeky, foul-mouthed heroine!

Calliope Fitzgerald is so excited to get a coveted internship at the Natural History museum in Philly. She lives, breathes and sleeps paleontology. Unfortunately, she's much better with dead things rather than living people, and her filterless, awkward (often profanity-littered) ramblings tend to either offend others or embarrass herself. However, Ralph Anderson seems to understand her so well and finds her extremely charming.

Ralph is pretty charming himself. I adored his earnest, relaxed manner. I loved how he took everything that Calliope threw at him in his stride. I thought they were so adorable together. Calliope is driven to succeed and stay focused on her childhood dreams. She thinks herself misunderstood by her family. Ralph is also ambitious but is also really thoughtful of others.

I just loved the connection between them and how Ralph showed Calliope that there was more to life than fossils, and that she could have love as well as a career. Considering how funny this story was, I was taken by surprise by the emotional conclusion.

Erin Mallon brought Calliope to life brilliantly, as well as all the other characters! Her dad was such a hoot! A talented narrator and now a talented new author. I laughed out loud so much whilst listening to it (got lots of side-eye from the hubs! LOL). This was a fantastic, smart debut, and I totally adored it!

A laugh out loud debut full of nerdgasm goodness

Having listened to Erin Narrate other novels for a variety of Authors, I was really intrigued about her debut novel Flirtasaurus. I love a nerdy hero but this gave me a nerdy hero and heroine and I was in my element! Calliope is a palaeontologist who right at the start gets stuck in an elevator and meets the voice of our hero Ralph. In amongst the panic of her rescue a miscommunication means their meet cute comes a couple of chapters after but I thought it was hilarious.

The novel as an Audiobook was such a fun listen, I laughed so many times. There was countless innuendo and so may inappropriate moments when Calliope was a hot mess. Erin narrating her own novel brought a level of enthusiasms to Calliope I loved. Ralph was so sweet and he comes across as a soft touch especially compared to the overbearing Calliope, however they just seemed to work. Ralph accepted her quirks and her out there mannerisms when she doesn't think before she acts all with a pinch of salt.

There are a host of secondary characters that add to story, making for a great cast at the museum setting. The little heartbreak moment in the novel gave me the other side of Ralph and Calliope I wanted to see, which was a welcome plot point. Overall I really enjoyed Erin's debut novel. I can image if this was read in e-book format that the conversational elements to some chapters would seem a little lengthy but for the Audiobook I don't think it was a noticeable critique. I am looking forward to reading more from Erin and her Natural History series.

Fantastically entertaining

When I started listening to this book I thought I must be mistaken this could not be a debut novel. It well paced the characters are natural if not a little delightfully quirky. It starts out with such a strong and funny beginning and it just continues the whole way through.

These are characters that you would love to meet and with the amazing narration it’s easy to forget they are really characters. Definitely will be looking for more from this author and narrator

Best romance

this is the best romance book I have ever read i absolutely loved it, I was so unhappy when it ended. brilliant just brilliant i can't wait for her new book you must read this book 😀👍🏾💗

Delightfully funny and sweet. A must listen.

This is Erin Mallon’s debut book but it doesn’t read like it. It's funny and sweet and a delight to read/ listen to. A must read/ listen for rom-com fans. The characters are fleshed out and likeable. I loved Ralph so much, he was such a sweet hero, who always put others first and helped Calliope in ways I don't think she even realised, by allowing her to see things in a different way. She was so laser-focused that so much passed her by. She was such a fun heroine, though, I loved that she was smart and not looking for love, but at the same time, couldn't dismiss the Ralph-effect and could admit when she was wrong. Their interactions are funny and sweet, the banter is perfection. If you've read any of my reviews before you'll know I'm a huge banter fan and this book has it in spades. I loved Calliope's family, they were a riot, and I could understand Calliope's responses to them but also loved that part of the story and seeing them connect. The museum setting was refreshing and gave a different spin on a workplace romance, and I enjoyed that aspect to it.

This is going on my perfect summer read/ listen list because it's such a delightful story and filled with humour and swooning moments. If heat level is important to you, this is on the low end but don't let that deter you from a wonderful story. Sometimes you read or listen to a book and it just fills you with happiness, that's what this book does. It was such a joy to listen to. I laughed out loud on more than a handful of occasions, I'm sure my colleague thought I'd lost it. It is incredibly funny. Just what you need during these difficult times. It definitely made my nightshift go fast, that's for sure. It's been a while since I've had the time to devour a book in a day, but that's exactly what I did with the audio of Flirtasaurus, once I started it, I couldn't stop. SO much, that I owe it in all versions, eBook, audio, and paperback. I love the cover, it encompasses everything to love about this story.

I'm not a huge fan of authors narrating their own books, but this is one occasion where I not only loved it but doubted anyone else could have done it the justice it deserved. Erin was these characters, she voiced them in a way that just made them come alive - I read the first 20% of the book before going back to the beginning and listening, so I can comment from both perspectives—as a reader and listener. I'll say I'm super glad I didn't have to say all those dinosaur names, and that was a definite bonus to listening lol. The production was well done and there were no issues of note. I did have a little chuckle at the word museum just because I didn't realise that is one of those words that is pronounced differently in the US to the UK—that's not a criticism, but something that I've never noticed before.