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Publisher's Summary

A group of deformed, cannibalistic, humanoid creatures live in the woods…as some unlucky travelers are about to find out.

©1981 Richard Laymon (P)2011 Audio Realms, all rights reserved.

What members say

Average Customer Ratings

Overall

  • 3.4 out of 5.0
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Performance

  • 3.4 out of 5.0
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Story

  • 3.2 out of 5.0
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CRACKLING GRISTLE

ROBERT REDFORD AND CORDUROY
Here is the plot, Scary, captured, porn, chase, porn, chase, chase, porn, gory, porn, disgusted, chase, fight, twist, history, the end. I give this four stars and normally I say only buy five star books, but for less than five dollars? Parts of this are actually brilliant and entertaining, but lots of it is stupid. The attempt at romance gave me more of a gaging reaction than the cutting off of heads and genitals. I have to share one scene: this father who is supposedly one of the good guys, is watching two girls making love, while he believes his wife is either getting raped or being chopped to pieces. His thinks, instead of finding and helping his wife, he should rape the good looking girl, who happens to look a lot like his 18 year old daughter. He figures he should rape her, since his wife is probably getting raped, it would even things out. This has more porn in it than most porn books. Redford and corduroys take place cause the book is written in 1981.

16 of 16 people found this review helpful

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  • Story

Backwoods cannibal fun

When an unkempt legless man drags himself out in front of your convertible on an isolated mountain road and throws a severed hand at you, you should:

A) Stop and see if he needs a hand (sorry, couldn’t help myself)
B) Show him your boobs, Laymon nipples and all
C) Go get some chicken fried steak and eggs at the next available diner
D) Take a few minutes out for some steamy lesbian sex
E) All of the above.

The crazy thing is that in this one, all of these are very real possibilities. There are no wrong answers in this one. It has a bit of everything. Crazy as hell from the get go and only gets crazier as it gets rolling.

If you know what you are getting into ahead of time, I have a feeling that you will enjoy the ride. It is filled with gory, absurd, blood-soaked sexy times, cannibal feasting and lovefest with your usual suspects of inbred crazies and no shortage of the infamous rock hard Laymon nipples.

Good time granny hammer fun, backwoods cannibal lesbian love, a dried dozen-dork necklace, riding the Cordelia train, Krull heads on a stick, Sheri is bi for Neala pie and the best vacation Lander has ever had.

Yep. That about sums it up. I liked it. But, it should be noted that I’m a weirdo and was laughing out loud in all the inappropriate places.

If you have delicate sensibilities then I would probably stay far, far away from this one. As a matter of fact, you probably shouldn’t have even read my review. And what the hell are you looking up this book for in the first place Mr/Mrs prudey-pants?

4.5 Audible Stars rounded up to 5 based on the non-stop-bloody-inappropriate-crazy-fun factor. That and because, I say so.

1 of 1 people found this review helpful

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Savage

don't read if you're squeamish but if you like a good, solid, intense, scary book then you're gonna love this.

1 of 1 people found this review helpful

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  • Ta2kitty
  • Desert Hot Springs, CA USA
  • 08-16-16

Great idea for a story but went<br />nowhere

This story had so much potential but it fell flat. Inbred, cannibal hillbillies could have been so scary but instead it was ridiculous. The narration was awful. I almost stopped listening because of the narrators flat, halting way of reading. I expected much more from this author who has given me real nightmares before.

1 of 1 people found this review helpful

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waste of time

kept waiting for it to get better...never did. and OMG the ending sucked.... after all that.....REALLY....bad, bad, bad

1 of 1 people found this review helpful

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Just awful!!!!

Any additional comments?

No originality!!! Children raping children. Grown up's raping children and adults, cannibalism and sex, a father wanting to rape some girl...ugh!!! I absolutely hate that I purchased this disgusting story!!!! Would have been a decent story without all the underage sex!!!!<br/><br/>Can you tell I'm a mom?!?!?! Disgusting story!!!!

4 of 6 people found this review helpful

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Not what I expected.

What did you like best about The Woods Are Dark? What did you like least?

Hmmm, not sure, it was kind of creepy, but interesting.

If you’ve listened to books by Richard Laymon before, how does this one compare?

No I haven't

What do you think the narrator could have done better?

Hmm, he was good I thought.

Any additional comments?

It was a different kind of story for me.

0 of 1 people found this review helpful