Real Vampires Don't Sparkle

De: Amy Fecteau

Narrado por: James Patrick Cronin

Matheus Taylor didn't ask to be murdered. To be fair, the percentage of people actually asking to be murdered is probably small enough to be safely ignored, but he felt it was worth stating regardless. His life might have been ordinary, but it was his life and he wasn't done with it yet.

Quin didn't care.

A 1,700-year-old Roman, Quintus Livius Saturnius had a different view of morality than most people. Killing Matheus and hijacking his undead existence seemed perfectly acceptable to him.

Now, Matheus spends his nights running for his life, questioning his sexual orientation, and defying a mysterious new threat to the vampires within his city. Not that he set out to do any defying; he just wanted to be left alone. Unfortunately, that was never going to happen.

Volume One of Real Vampires Don't Sparkle

Fans of Real Vampires Don't Sparkle should be sure to check out more titles from Curiosity Quills Press: Sweet Dreams Are Made of Teeth, by Richard Roberts: a fantasy coming-of-age story set in the world of our dreams, where a nightmare learns who he is - and who he loves.

The Devil You Know, by K. H.Koehler: an urban fantasy pulp/mystery series about demons, rogue angels, and a small group of people living in rural northeast Pennsylvania who are caught in the middle of an angelic war.

©2013 Amy Fecteau (P)2013 Audible Inc.

Who doesn’t like a sassy vampire

Who doesn’t like a story about a sassy vampire working to protect his mate. The audio matches the book perfectly, and the ending makes you want to jump right into the next story. Quinn is prefect, and he wants to protect us his mate from the world so much but it doesn’t work out that way at all.

Snarky Vampire Story

Well this was an unexpectedly funny read/listen. James did a great job with this narration and I cannot wait to see what is in store for Matheus and Quin. While their unlikely friendship and codependency starts off on poor terms for Matheus, I believe it is a good thing for him. I was not sure where this story was going, so it was a bit exciting when things just started happening kind of out of the blue and I really want to see where the story goes from here. I really like how Matheus approaches his heightened sexual feelings for Quin and what that may mean. I really like Bianca and Allistair and hope they are in the next books as well. Definitely an interesting read/listen.

Gorgeous Narration

4 Blue Flames
4 Blue Roses

Narrator James Patrick Cronin gorgeously delivered a paranormal romance consisting of all kinds of creatures and an unpredictable plot that will satisfy fans who are experts as a result of extensive reading or listening to books in this genre. In other words, for those sick humans like me, this series does qualify as a very good fix. (One that you can enjoy over and over again).
The third book was sexy as fuck and of course my favorite. My pavlovian responses kicked into overdrive every time Quin calls Matheus "Sunshine". This was the second round for me, and I think I laughed harder this time around.
Why the author don't continue the series eludes me.
I definitely recommend this series. I love that the books are longer, it makes the ride so much more worth it.

Happy Listening

Very long but oh so good.

This was such a good book. I usually skip through books when they are this long but I stayed the course. This narrator, James Patrick Cronin is awesome. At first, I felt like Quinn's voice was a little creepy but once I got into it, I loved it. All the different accents were spot on. I loved the story line. And that dry humor is right up my alley. I cannot wait to read the next book.

I really loved this...it surprised me! Different!

Any additional comments?

I wasn't sure about it at first, but this has turned out to be a wonderfully unique take on them. And I am a major vamp lover. You have created some wonderful characters and they have come to life in away that I didn't expect at all. You've wound a good story too that personally, I didn't see coming. Matheus really gets on my nerves at times but he's supposed to and you've done a great job of it! James, you do make this story come alive and your narration is good. I'd butch up Quinn, but it's still very good. Listener, I personally think it's worth the listen...it takes a couple or three chapters to get "into it" but once you get hooked, well, let's just say I moved onto the second book, which I will review once finished, but I can tell you this...you'll have to get it too...start here, and then move to the next. Oh, and Amy, keep this series going as long as you can...I'll be there with you!

Surprisingly good!

Wasn't sure what to expect from this book as I don't often gravitate to the vampire genre., but i like sarcastic back and forth dialog so I decided to try it.
I'm glad I used the credit because I loved it so much I immediately got the 2nd audiobook.
The narrator was out of this world and made this book even better!

Finaly real vampires!

Any additional comments?

The titel kinda says it all, this is about real vampires that dont sparkle, they burn in the sun and dies at sunrise and sleep all day, they "dont fuck the food" as Quin puts it, its bloody and messy. I love the charachters in this book and the sarcasm is amazingly funny. What makes it better is that Matheus dont have a choise in being turned, Quin wants him and thats that!
One of the thing I really like with the story is that there isnt instant love between Matheus and Quin, it work itself slowly into there relationship and it feels more real and dosnt get in the way of the story.
James Patrick Cronin is perfect for this book, been looking for more m/m from him but so far only found this series. I wasnt sure about him at first, since this was my first go with him, but he pleasantly supprised me and now he got another fan!

One book

I love this book and in truth the whole series. Relatable characters, lots of great sarcasm and overall engaging dialog. The story itself was fun and fast paced but not just a "fluff" read. The world was well developed and I had hoped to read more from this author but when I went looking these three books were it. That said I think it should be noted books one and two end on cliff hangers. This is really one book with three parts. I wish the author would publish an audio bundle so that the story could be listened to in a continuous stream the way it should be.

Not sure if it's the narrator or just bad writing

The narrator is most definitely bad. There are a lot of times where the way he performs the dialogue doesn't match with how it's described in the narrative. And the voice he uses for Quinn is borderline homophobic. Quinn's described as having a deep, powerful voice. Commanding. But he also happens to be gay, which I guess the narrator decided was more important than how the author described it. It's nasally and sing songy. Just ad a lisp and it's every stereotypical sassy gay friend.

But I'm not sure if the narrator is the only thing wrong with the book though. The author is one of those people who clearly thinks they're funnier than they are. I might be bad delivery by the narrator, but so many of the "jokes" fell flat. Or the sort who will do something "for teh lulz!" even when it don't fit into the scene. And the main character is just whiny. He's supposed to be whiny and useless, but it's annoying. It would be tolerable if there was any growth from it, but again, it just seems like it's played 'for teh lulz.'

Have decided to return this book. Don't waste your credit.

Different.......way to much of a "homoerotic vibe"

Would you try another book from Amy Fecteau and/or James Patrick Cronin?

I might depends if I get it from audible, so if I don’t like it I can return it.

What was most disappointing about Amy Fecteau’s story?

The most disappointing about the story is a couple of things. I don’t mind taking the vampire story in a different direction. They are completely dead during the day and only alive at night okay I can accept that BUT some of the main characteristic of a being a vampire: are being immortal, super speed and super human strength lastly you heal very fast. The book is missing speed (or at least most of the time “Sunshine” only move’s fast when is running in the woods), strength, as for healing “Sunshine” does heal fast when he drinks blood but there not much of that, healing I mean.

Which scene was your favorite?

I like most of their banter, the back and forth I found it very amusing.

Any additional comments?

I did like parts of the book more than others. I really enjoyed the modern day approach to this kind of story. My biggest problem with the book was the overall homoerotic vibe of it. There’s a lot of suggested talk about homosexuality throughout this whole book. The main character seems to be struggling with it. For me, that’s what made it difficult to enjoy the book. As a reader I’m trying to put myself in the main character shoes. I think the writer could have allude to it without focusing on as much on it as she did. As with a lot of the Vampire genre sexuality is a big part of it.