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The New New Rules
- A Funny Look at How Everybody But Me Has Their Head Up Their Ass
- Narrated by: Bill Maher
- Length: 4 hrs and 44 mins
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The New New Rules
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Publisher's summary
From best-selling author and host of HBO's Real Time, Bill Maher's new book of political riffs serves up a savagely funny set of rules for preserving sanity in an insane world.
A follow-up to the New York Times best-selling The New Rules, The New New Rules delivers a series of hilarious, intelligent rants on everything from same-sex marriage to health care, from Republican agendas to celebrity meltdowns, with all the razor-sharp insight that has made Bill Maher one of the most influential comedic voices shaping the political debate today. With another presidential campaign on the horizon and a stellar set of real-life characters to have fun with - "New Rule: If Charlie Sheen's home life means he can't have a TV show, then I say Newt Gingrich can't be president" - this enlightening and important book may be the best thing you pretend to read all year.
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The United States of Absurdity
- Untold Stories from American History
- By: Dave Anthony, Gareth Reynolds, Patton Oswalt - foreword
- Narrated by: Dave Anthony, Gareth Reynolds
- Length: 2 hrs and 47 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 629
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 559
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 556
The creators of the podcast The Dollop present profiles of the weird, outrageous, NSFW, and downright absurd tales from American history that you weren't taught in school. The United States of Absurdity presents short, informative, and hilarious stories of the most outlandish (but true) people, events, and more from United States history.
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4 out of 5 stars
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Fun With Useless Facts
- By Keith on 05-21-17
By: Dave Anthony, and others
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Gummi Bears Should Not Be Organic
- And Other Opinions I Can't Back Up with Facts
- By: Stefanie Wilder-Taylor
- Narrated by: Stefanie Wilder-Taylor
- Length: 4 hrs and 44 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 75
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 67
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 67
In this latest mommy audiobook from the popular blogger, author, and TV personality, Stefanie will share her secrets for achieving a balance in motherhood between being protective and caring and downright bats--t crazy. She'll debunk some of the looniest parenting myths and reinforce others; she'll describe how, through as simple a process as good old trial and error, she's learned to pick and choose what works for her and her family, and tune out the rest.
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5 out of 5 stars
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You’re A Parent Now...Don't Mess It Up
- By Tim on 04-16-15
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This Might Get a Little Heavy
- A Memoir
- By: Ralphie May, Nils Parker
- Narrated by: Oliver Wyman
- Length: 8 hrs and 36 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 271
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 236
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 237
There was a time when Ralphie May was one of the biggest stand-up comedians in the country, both by ticket sales and by tonnage. While some things changed - Ralphie lost half his body weight - others did not: He will be remembered as one of the most successful comics of his time. Completed just months before his untimely passing, in This Might Get a Little Heavy, Ralphie takes listeners on a behind-the-scenes tour of his life and career, one that winds across the country, over obstacles, beyond heartbreak, and through the golden age of stand-up.
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5 out of 5 stars
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brilliant and tragic
- By Timothy Trujillo on 08-12-18
By: Ralphie May, and others
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You Might Be a Zombie and Other Bad News
- Shocking but Utterly True Facts
- By: Cracked.com
- Narrated by: Johnny Heller
- Length: 6 hrs and 12 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 1,198
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 1,093
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Story4 out of 5 stars 1,089
You're going to wish you never got this audiobook. Some facts are too terrifying to teach in school. Unfortunately, Cracked.com is more than happy to fill you in. Think you're going to choose whether or not to buy this book? Scientists say your brain secretly makes all your decisions 10 seconds before you even know what they are.
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4 out of 5 stars
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Buenas fabulas de humor
- By Cynthia on 10-27-14
By: Cracked.com
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Easy for You to Say
- By: John Melendez
- Narrated by: John Melendez
- Length: 6 hrs and 9 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall3.5 out of 5 stars 128
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 116
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Story3.5 out of 5 stars 116
Easy For You To Say is "Stuttering" John Melendez's memoir of his childhood being bullied in school for his stutter; his years as an on-air personality with The Howard Stern Show; and his subsequent 10-year career as a writer and on-air announcer for Jay Leno's Tonight Show. It details his famously acerbic relationships with celebrities he interviewed/insulted (Raquel Welch once punched him in the face). In the audiobook, Howard Stern emerges as a surprisingly mean, stingy, and megalomaniacal boss - and Jay Leno as a seeming sufferer from OCD.
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2 out of 5 stars
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Was expecting more
- By Amazon Customer on 10-25-18
By: John Melendez
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You're Making Me Hate You
- A Cantankerous Look at the Common Misconception That Humans Have Any Common Sense Left
- By: Corey Taylor
- Narrated by: Corey Taylor
- Length: 7 hrs and 54 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 1,161
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 1,050
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 1,046
In the tradition of the late, great George Carlin, Corey Taylor, the lead singer of Slipknot and Stone Sour, sounds off in hilarious fashion about the many vagaries of modern life that piss him off. Whether it's people's rude behavior in restaurants and malls, the many indignities of air travel, eye-searingly terrible fashion choices, dangerously clueless drivers, and - most of all - the sorry state of much modern music, Taylor's humor and insight cover civil society's seeming decline.
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5 out of 5 stars
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New perspective.
- By jeremy on 09-22-15
By: Corey Taylor
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The Enemy Within
- Saving America from the Liberal Assault on Our Churches, Schools & Military
- By: Michael Savage
- Narrated by: Cameron Beierle
- Length: 8 hrs and 58 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 75
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 43
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 40
Michael Savage's powerful, unmatched mix of razor-sharp wit and explosive socio-political commentary has made him into a cultural phenomenon, becoming not only one of America's most popular radio talk-show hosts, but also a best-selling author. This is his latest assault on the corrosive effects of liberalism on American culture.
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4 out of 5 stars
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Still applies
- By gary lee johnson on 02-05-19
By: Michael Savage
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Everything Is Awful
- And Other Observations
- By: Matt Bellassai
- Narrated by: Matt Bellassai
- Length: 6 hrs and 16 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 1,037
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 952
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 948
From the break-out star of BuzzFeed and the People's Choice Award-winning comedian comes a collection of hilariously anguished essays chronicling awful moments from his life so far, the humiliations of being an adult, and other little indignities. Matt Bellassai has no idea what he's doing. Well, to be fair, he did become semi-Internet famous by getting drunk at work, making him a socially-acceptable - nay - professional alcoholic. He's got some things figured out. But the rest is all just a terrible, disgusting mess.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Best Audio Book I’ve heard ever.
- By M on 11-23-17
By: Matt Bellassai
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I Can Barely Take Care of Myself
- Tales from a Happy Life Without Kids
- By: Jen Kirkman
- Narrated by: Jen Kirkman
- Length: 6 hrs and 20 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 536
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 485
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Story4 out of 5 stars 486
"You'll change your mind." That's what everyone says to Jen Kirkman - and countless women like her - when she confesses she doesn't plan to have children. But you know what? It's hard enough to be an adult. You have to dress yourself and pay bills and remember to buy birthday gifts. You have to drive and get annual physicals and tip for good service. Some adults take on the added burden of caring for a tiny human being with no language skills or bladder control.
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4 out of 5 stars
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Funny. Not fall down laughing funny, but funny
- By david on 05-22-13
By: Jen Kirkman
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Digging Up Mother
- A Love Story
- By: Johnny Depp - foreword, Doug Stanhope
- Narrated by: Doug Stanhope and Friends
- Length: 12 hrs and 44 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 3,972
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 3,647
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 3,640
Doug Stanhope is one of the most critically acclaimed and stridently unrepentant comedians of his generation. What will surprise some is that he owes so much of his dark and sometimes uncomfortably honest sense of humor to his mother, Bonnie.
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1 out of 5 stars
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Not my thing.
- By J. Harral on 01-27-18
By: Johnny Depp - foreword, and others
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People I Want to Punch in the Throat
- Competitive Crafters, Drop-Off Despots, and Other Suburban Scourges
- By: Jen Mann
- Narrated by: Jen Mann
- Length: 5 hrs and 39 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 85
-
Performance4 out of 5 stars 74
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 75
Jen Mann doesn't have a filter, which sometimes gets her in trouble with her neighbors, fellow PTA moms, and that one woman who tried to sell her sex toys at a home shopping party. Known for her hilariously acerbic observations on her blog, People I Want to Punch in the Throat, Mann now brings her sharp wit to bear on suburban life, marriage, and motherhood in this laugh-out-loud collection of essays. From the politics of joining a play group, to the thrill of moms' night out at the gun range, to the rewards of your most meaningful relationship, nothing's sacred or off-limits.
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2 out of 5 stars
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Boring, not funny, and kind of mean
- By Jess on 11-22-19
By: Jen Mann
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An Inconvenient Book
- Real Solutions to the World's Biggest Problems (Unabridged)
- By: Glenn Beck
- Narrated by: Glenn Beck
- Length: 6 hrs and 25 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 513
-
Performance4 out of 5 stars 138
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 137
The world is a mess. It seems that everywhere listeners turn, there's another problem. What is needed now are solutions. If only there was a man who could simplify things, cut through the rhetoric, and fix everything. Then, if he was just able to put all of that insight into something that people could buy...in a store and online...man, that would great. Wait a minute!
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1 out of 5 stars
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Waste of Time and Money
- By Crystal on 04-11-09
By: Glenn Beck
-
The Partly Cloudy Patriot
- By: Sarah Vowell
- Narrated by: Sarah Vowell, Conan O'Brien, Seth Green, and others
- Length: 5 hrs and 16 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 2,453
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 1,169
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 1,168
Sarah Vowell travels through the American past and investigates the dusty, bumpy roads of her own life. Her essays confront a wide range of subjects, icons, and historical moments: Ike, Teddy Roosevelt, and Bill Clinton; Canadian Mounties and German Filmmakers; Tom Cruise and Buffy the Vampire Slayer; twins and nerds; the Gettysburg Address, the State of the Union, and George W. Bush's inauguration. The result is an engrossing audiobook, capturing Vowell's memorable wit and her keen social commentary.
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5 out of 5 stars
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One of the best surprises on AUDIBLE.COM!!
- By Doggy Bird on 04-14-04
By: Sarah Vowell
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The Beast Side
- Living (and Dying) While Black in America
- By: D. Watkins
- Narrated by: Brandon Rubin
- Length: 4 hrs and 14 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 157
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 140
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 140
To many in the age of Obama, America had succeeded in "going beyond race", putting the divisions of the past behind us. And then 17-year-old Trayvon Martin was shot by a wannabe cop in Florida; and then 18-year-old Michael Brown in Ferguson, Missouri; and then Baltimore blew up; and then gunfire shattered a prayer meeting at a church in Charleston, South Carolina. Suddenly the entire country awakened to a stark fact: Young Black men are an endangered species.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Excellent
- By Bruce Cline on 03-28-23
By: D. Watkins
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Ask Wendy
- By: Wendy Williams
- Narrated by: Wendy Williams
- Length: 5 hrs and 4 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 110
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 99
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 97
On TV, Wendy only has a few minutes to respond to each audience member, but in Ask Wendy she goes deeper, answering questions sourced from viewers across the country. No question is off-limits and no situation is too outrageous for her to take on. Wendy shoots straight from those womanly hips of hers to help you manage all the crazy that comes into your life - keepin' it real by drawing on the personal experiences that have shaped her unique perspective.
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5 out of 5 stars
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HIlarious
- By Shelley Thomas-Robinson on 10-24-17
By: Wendy Williams
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Overall0 out of 5 stars 0
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Some of the smartest commentary about what’s happening in America is coming from a comedian—this comedian being Bill Maher. If you want to understand what’s wrong with this country, it turns out that one of the best informed and most thought-provoking analysts is this very funny pothead.
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Bill Maher first came to national attention as the host of the hit program Politically Incorrect, in which he offered a combustible mixture of irreverence and acerbic humor that garnered him a loyal following. In his popular and long-running HBO television show, Real Time with Bill Maher, his reputation for being a hilarious provocateur continues. One particular segment of the show—"New Rules"—strikes a chord with viewers every week. In this collection, Maher brings these brilliantly conceived riffs to audio, along with some singularly Maher-ian "editorials".
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True Story
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- By: Bill Maher
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- Length: 2 hrs and 21 mins
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Overall3.5 out of 5 stars 77
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The place: New York. The time: the early 1980s. The scene: the red-hot comedy clubs, very late at night. The cast: five would-be stand-up comics, their egos, and their girls. The result: a downright hilarious novel about trying to be funny for fame, fortune, and fornication. This is Bill Maher's report from the front, a stageside table at the birth of the comedy boom. You'll laugh in all the right places.
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2 out of 5 stars
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True story - lying description
- By Tony on 09-02-08
By: Bill Maher
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New Rules
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- By: Bill Maher
- Narrated by: Bill Maher
- Length: 2 hrs and 30 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall3.5 out of 5 stars 790
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 166
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Story4 out of 5 stars 168
Bill Maher first came to national attention as the host of the hit Comedy Central and ABC-TV program Politically Incorrect, where he offered a combustible mixture of irreverence and acerbic humor that helped him to garner a loyal following, as well as a reputation for being a hilarious provocateur.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Hysterical!
- By Ron Green on 07-13-05
By: Bill Maher
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Political Incorrections
- Bill Maher's Best Opening Monologues from "Politically Incorrect"
- By: Bill Maher
- Narrated by: Bill Maher
- Length: 1 hr and 20 mins
- Abridged
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Overall3.5 out of 5 stars 54
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 22
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Story4 out of 5 stars 22
For everyone who's had their fill of politicians, TV trials and the daily events seen on the evening news, Simon & Schuster Audio offers some relief with this collection of the funniest opening monologues from Comedy Central's hit show, Politically Incorrect starring Bill Maher.
-
4 out of 5 stars
-
Hardly any laughs
- By Geekeagle on 12-22-07
By: Bill Maher
-
When You Ride Alone You Ride with bin Laden
- What the Government Should Be Telling Us to Help Fight the War on Terrorism
- By: Bill Maher
- Narrated by: Bill Maher
- Length: 2 hrs and 58 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 415
-
Performance4 out of 5 stars 90
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Story4 out of 5 stars 91
Political provocateur Bill Maher tells it like it is in a useful and hilarious guide for the many Americans who want to do more here at home to help in the war effort, but are at a loss as to how. Says Maher, "Traveling the country, I find that people want to do more here at home, but are at a loss as to what. Even when the government issues a Terrorism Advisory, it's maddeningly vague - 'Terrorist alert today! Code Burnt Orange!' 'And what?' I always want to ask, "Bring a sweater?'"
-
4 out of 5 stars
-
Fill up your tank and you support terror!
- By Kevin Christy on 12-22-02
By: Bill Maher
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What This Comedian Said Will Shock You
- By: Bill Maher
- Narrated by: Bill Maher
- Length: 12 hrs and 50 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall0 out of 5 stars 0
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Performance0 out of 5 stars 0
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Story0 out of 5 stars 0
Some of the smartest commentary about what’s happening in America is coming from a comedian—this comedian being Bill Maher. If you want to understand what’s wrong with this country, it turns out that one of the best informed and most thought-provoking analysts is this very funny pothead.
By: Bill Maher
-
New Rules
- Polite Musings from a Timid Observer
- By: Bill Maher
- Narrated by: Bill Maher
- Length: 2 hrs and 30 mins
- Abridged
-
Overall5 out of 5 stars 1
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars 1
-
Story5 out of 5 stars 1
Bill Maher first came to national attention as the host of the hit program Politically Incorrect, in which he offered a combustible mixture of irreverence and acerbic humor that garnered him a loyal following. In his popular and long-running HBO television show, Real Time with Bill Maher, his reputation for being a hilarious provocateur continues. One particular segment of the show—"New Rules"—strikes a chord with viewers every week. In this collection, Maher brings these brilliantly conceived riffs to audio, along with some singularly Maher-ian "editorials".
By: Bill Maher
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True Story
- A Comedy Novel
- By: Bill Maher
- Narrated by: Bill Maher
- Length: 2 hrs and 21 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall3.5 out of 5 stars 77
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 44
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Story4 out of 5 stars 43
The place: New York. The time: the early 1980s. The scene: the red-hot comedy clubs, very late at night. The cast: five would-be stand-up comics, their egos, and their girls. The result: a downright hilarious novel about trying to be funny for fame, fortune, and fornication. This is Bill Maher's report from the front, a stageside table at the birth of the comedy boom. You'll laugh in all the right places.
-
2 out of 5 stars
-
True story - lying description
- By Tony on 09-02-08
By: Bill Maher
-
New Rules
- Polite Musings from a Timid Observer
- By: Bill Maher
- Narrated by: Bill Maher
- Length: 2 hrs and 30 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall3.5 out of 5 stars 790
-
Performance4 out of 5 stars 166
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 168
Bill Maher first came to national attention as the host of the hit Comedy Central and ABC-TV program Politically Incorrect, where he offered a combustible mixture of irreverence and acerbic humor that helped him to garner a loyal following, as well as a reputation for being a hilarious provocateur.
-
5 out of 5 stars
-
Hysterical!
- By Ron Green on 07-13-05
By: Bill Maher
-
Political Incorrections
- Bill Maher's Best Opening Monologues from "Politically Incorrect"
- By: Bill Maher
- Narrated by: Bill Maher
- Length: 1 hr and 20 mins
- Abridged
-
Overall3.5 out of 5 stars 54
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 22
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 22
For everyone who's had their fill of politicians, TV trials and the daily events seen on the evening news, Simon & Schuster Audio offers some relief with this collection of the funniest opening monologues from Comedy Central's hit show, Politically Incorrect starring Bill Maher.
-
4 out of 5 stars
-
Hardly any laughs
- By Geekeagle on 12-22-07
By: Bill Maher
-
When You Ride Alone You Ride with bin Laden
- What the Government Should Be Telling Us to Help Fight the War on Terrorism
- By: Bill Maher
- Narrated by: Bill Maher
- Length: 2 hrs and 58 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 415
-
Performance4 out of 5 stars 90
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 91
Political provocateur Bill Maher tells it like it is in a useful and hilarious guide for the many Americans who want to do more here at home to help in the war effort, but are at a loss as to how. Says Maher, "Traveling the country, I find that people want to do more here at home, but are at a loss as to what. Even when the government issues a Terrorism Advisory, it's maddeningly vague - 'Terrorist alert today! Code Burnt Orange!' 'And what?' I always want to ask, "Bring a sweater?'"
-
4 out of 5 stars
-
Fill up your tank and you support terror!
- By Kevin Christy on 12-22-02
By: Bill Maher
What listeners say about The New New Rules
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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Overall4 out of 5 stars
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Performance4 out of 5 stars
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Story4 out of 5 stars
- Dave Cook
- 12-26-11
If you watch his show...
What made the experience of listening to The New New Rules the most enjoyable?
It was fun to be reminded again of his New Rules.
What did you like best about this story?
Bill Maher's New Rule can be the best part of his show. Maher has a comic timing and phrasing that I like.
Have you listened to any of Bill Maher’s other performances before? How does this one compare?
Yes, about the same.
Any additional comments?
The New Rules are really old New Rules from his show. It would have been better if there had been some new New Rules. But maybe, I have my head up my....
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Overall3 out of 5 stars
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars
-
Story3 out of 5 stars
- James
- 09-04-16
Blood From a Stone
Maher seems to be running out of things to say. Still, there are enough genuinely funny moments here to merit a listen.
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Overall3 out of 5 stars
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars
-
Story3 out of 5 stars
- Amazon Customer
- 10-14-22
Many hours of a brief show segment
I thought Bill had borrowed the phrase "New Rules" from his show for the book title. I didn't realize that the book is quite literally hours upon hours of the New Rules segment. I guess I shouldn't have been surprised, but I didn't think you could get a whole book out of the New Rules but of his show. It kind of drags after a while, much as I like Maher.
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Overall4 out of 5 stars
-
Performance4 out of 5 stars
-
Story4 out of 5 stars
- MolecularMuse
- 04-16-13
Humorous but can get a bit repetitive
What was the most compelling aspect of this narrative?
True to his show, Bill Maher uses humor to entertain while discussing various political points.
Any additional comments?
I listened to this on one of my long drives. I enjoyed the humor however I did find the use of "new rule" repetitive and on occasion mildly annoying. Aside from that it was enjoyable to listen to and I'd still recommend others give it a chance.
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Overall4 out of 5 stars
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Mai
- 04-10-12
Awesome
As ruthless as usual, the cross reference among topics is brilliant. Basically everyone had it coming! Still comparing Americans to the French is my favorite...
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
-
Story5 out of 5 stars
- HOME
- 07-17-16
Hilarious!
Classic Bill Maher. Great insight. Funny shit! Resonates in today's politics and society. Definite recommend.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars
-
Story5 out of 5 stars
- Patguir
- 12-26-11
Entertaining and clever
What made the experience of listening to The New New Rules the most enjoyable?
The way he views people and current events, it's very insightful and critical but funny.
What was one of the most memorable moments of The New New Rules?
Can't say, too much content to pick one single thing.
What about Bill Maher???s performance did you like?
The way he expresses his ideas.
Did you have an extreme reaction to this book? Did it make you laugh or cry?
It made me laugh, of course.
Any additional comments?
Yes, he shoud make more audio version of his shows available for those of us who do not have access to his TV appearances.
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Overall4 out of 5 stars
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Performance4 out of 5 stars
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Story4 out of 5 stars
- Gabriela Maura
- 03-26-12
Entertaining Light Reading
I love Bill Maher, so most of what he says, I agree with. That may not be the case for others. I thoroughly enjoyed the book. I was looking for something light and funny, and this book fit that perfectly.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Lalania
- 12-26-11
One of my best buys so far!
If you could sum up The New New Rules in three words, what would they be?
Thought-provoking, intelligent, and FUNNY. Makes you say
What was the most compelling aspect of this narrative?
No one else could have narrated this book! Maher was perfectly himself!
What does Bill Maher bring to the story that you wouldn’t experience if you just read the book?
His own wit and sarcastic humor! LOVE it!
If you were to make a film of this book, what would be the tag line be?
Get your head out of your ass!!!
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Kelz
- 05-24-12
I LOVE BILL MAHER!!!!
Would you listen to The New New Rules again? Why?
He is hilarious and keeps us all honest!!
Did you have an extreme reaction to this book? Did it make you laugh or cry?
I laughes soo hard, I cried!! I watch him every friday on HBO when he is in season so, I'm use to new rules. I love them!!
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