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Publisher's Summary

"A couple years back, I was at the Phoenix airport bar. It was empty except for one heavy-set, gray bearded, grizzled guy who looked like he just rode his donkey into town after a long day of panning for silver in them thar hills. He ordered a Jack Daniels straight up, and that's when I overheard the young guy with the earring behind the bar asking him if he had ID. At first the old sea captain just laughed. But the guy with the twinkle in his ear asked again. At this point it became apparent that he was serious. Dan Haggerty's dad fired back, 'You've got to be kidding me, son.' The bartender replied, 'New policy. Everyone has to show their ID.' Then I watched Burl Ives reluctantly reach into his dungarees and pull out his military identification card from World War II."

It's a sad and eerie harbinger of our times that the Oprah-watching, crystal-rubbing, Whole Foods-shopping moms and their whipped attorney husbands have taken the ability to reason away from the poor schlub who makes the Bloody Marys. What we used to settle with common sense or a fist, we now settle with hand sanitizer and lawyers. Adam Carolla has had enough of this insanity and he's here to help us get our collective balls back.

In Fifty Years We'll All Be Chicks is Adam's comedic gospel of modern America. He rips into the absurdity of the culture that demonized the peanut butter and jelly sandwich, turned the nation's bathrooms into a lawless free-for-all of urine and fecal matter, and put its citizens at the mercy of a bunch of minimum wagers with axes to grind. Peppered between complaints, Carolla shares candid anecdotes from his day to day life as well as his past Sunday football at Jimmy Kimmel's house, his attempts to raise his kids in a society that he mostly disagrees with, his big showbiz break, and much, much more. Brilliantly showcasing Adam's spot-on sense of humor, this book cements his status as a cultural commentator/comedian/complainer extraordinaire.

©2010 Adam Carolla (P)2010 Random House Audio

Critic Reviews

"If comedy books were a big-breasted porn collection, In Fifty Years We'll All Be Chicks would be Christy Canyon." (Bill Simmons, ESPN columnist and best-selling author of The Book of Basketball)
"Adam Carolla is a genius. And no, I'm not kidding."(Jimmy Kimmel)
“I don’t know this guy from Adam, but Carolla’s humor - fearlessly crass, shamelessly honest and irresistibly funny - sucks out like liposuction the layers of fatty pride to expose the often warped and wounded psyche buried deep within the modern American male.”(Ken Burns)

What members say

Average Customer Ratings

Overall

  • 4.5 out of 5 stars
  • 5 Stars
    1,214
  • 4 Stars
    453
  • 3 Stars
    192
  • 2 Stars
    72
  • 1 Stars
    63

Performance

  • 4.5 out of 5 stars
  • 5 Stars
    981
  • 4 Stars
    251
  • 3 Stars
    110
  • 2 Stars
    37
  • 1 Stars
    31

Story

  • 4.5 out of 5 stars
  • 5 Stars
    803
  • 4 Stars
    336
  • 3 Stars
    170
  • 2 Stars
    57
  • 1 Stars
    41
Sort by:
  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Brett
  • Yorba Linda, CA, United States
  • 12-03-10

Hilarious Book

This book is awesome. The fact the "Ace" (Adam Carolla) reads it himself makes it even better. I laughed so many times while listening to this book that I had to stop it just to catch my breath on a few ocassions. Kudos to Adam for writing this and pointing out the little things in life that are both irritating and funny. If you like witty and ocassionally offensive sarcasm, you would be a fool not to buy this book. Thanks for reading this Adam. No other reader could have made it as good as you did.

12 of 14 people found this review helpful

  • Overall
    2 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    3 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    2 out of 5 stars

Disappointment.

I was expecting more humor. It's more of an autobiography. When I stopped laughing for 20 minutes, I stopped listening.

2 of 2 people found this review helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Gregory
  • Port Angeles, WA, United States
  • 11-10-10

Adam says what we're all afraid to say

The title should probably say stand up and let em dangle. Adam says what we all want to say but stays humble and true to his roots. This audiobook is not a direct read from the book and is all over the map so if you already have the book (like me) get this audiobook as well to experience the full essence of Carolla, the visceral carnal spanking that society needs and Adam delivers. Thanks Ace.

21 of 31 people found this review helpful

  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    3 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    4 out of 5 stars
  • Dan
  • savage, mn
  • 01-30-13

Very simular to his second book

Any additional comments?

The first half of this book was the same stories as his second book. After that it was damn funny

4 of 6 people found this review helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars

Adam IS the Voice of Reason

Adam Carolla might rant and rave, but it's pretty much what every reasonable person is already thinking- or would be if the crazy left or right wing didn't try to guilt or bully them out of it. The left and the right might be loud, might have the soapbox, and each might be the flip-side of the same two-party coin, but Adam just tells it like it is, and illustrates time and time again that most people just plain don't think things through, or think critically enough to form reasonable or realistic opinions about anything. Adam's the blue collar hammer-swinging version of Jon Stewart, and not afraid to take on majority opinion or skewer the sacred cows. Adam is a great reader - and equally good at digression - so get an entertaining lesson in common sense with Adam Carolla, and download this now!

14 of 22 people found this review helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • shari
  • rancho cucamonga, CA, United States
  • 11-02-10

Adam Carolla does no wrong...

Plain and simple...
there is no honesty... no true insight... no opinions these days. Adam Carolla is the truth.
Check out his podcasts.
from old lovelines to his true self in his podcasts u can't find better...
always insightful...

23 of 37 people found this review helpful

  • Overall
    2 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    2 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    1 out of 5 stars

Don't like my review...well too !#%$!#% bad.

What would have made In Fifty Years We'll All Be Chicks... better?

My title summaries what I think of this book and his rant. Tried to listen but shut the book down half way and deleted it. Was NOT funny except for small bits scattered. Too much needless !#$%!#$^ swearing. Perhaps if I grew up in the south and was a "good ole boy" I would have enjoyed it. OH WAIT, I did grow up in Missoura and Alabama.... still did not like the book. There are a few funny parts and I completely agree that America has turned soft.

Has In Fifty Years We'll All Be Chicks... turned you off from other books in this genre?

yes. will avoid the rants

Who would you have cast as narrator instead of Adam Carolla?

no one. he is fine and has his own character and style. I do respect that.

You didn’t love this book... but did it have any redeeming qualities?

few funny parts and I completely agree that America has turned soft.

2 of 3 people found this review helpful

  • Overall
    1 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    2 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    1 out of 5 stars

Disjointed ranting.

This book wasn’t for you, but who do you think might enjoy it more?

Someone with a redder neck than mine. I'm a pipeline welder.

What could Adam Carolla have done to make this a more enjoyable book for you?

I think I would have enjoyed this book if I had polished off a fifth of JD before I started listening to it, but I listen to audiobooks as I drive to the job site......so, not such a good plan.

Would you be willing to try another one of Adam Carolla’s performances?

No.

2 of 3 people found this review helpful

  • Overall
    2 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    2 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    1 out of 5 stars
  • Travis
  • Durham, NC, United States
  • 04-01-12

A vast wasteland of a book

This book wasn’t for you, but who do you think might enjoy it more?

If you prefer your information in comedian nuggets such as,

Would you ever listen to anything by Adam Carolla again?

No.

How did the narrator detract from the book?

By delivering it as a stand-up routine in an empty room.

If you could play editor, what scene or scenes would you have cut from In Fifty Years We'll All Be Chicks...?

Audio form for this book was just a bad idea.

Any additional comments?

I discovered double-time playback on my device--the only way I could suffer through this book was to get it over in half time. I kept waiting for anything of redeeming value--surely the book is going to turn the corner. It never happens.

2 of 3 people found this review helpful

  • Overall
    2 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    2 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    3 out of 5 stars

Don't waste a credit on this one.

What disappointed you about In Fifty Years We'll All Be Chicks...?

The book is a continuous attempt to shock the reader with profanity and opinions that just gets old well before the end. Some of the material is funny but the delivery is awful. I reached the conclusion that the writer/narrator is one of those egotistical, narcissistic people that he rants about in the book.

Would you recommend In Fifty Years We'll All Be Chicks... to your friends? Why or why not?

No. The same kind of comedy can be found on free podcasts or satellite radio.

How did the narrator detract from the book?

Too much ad lib. Adam Corolla is the narrator so it doesn't come across as an audiobook. It is presented more as a series of topical podcasts with Adam talking directly to the listener. This is not entirely a bad thing but is unusual for an audible title to be narrated in this way. I listen to his podcast on a weekly basis but did not care for his book.

If you could play editor, what scene or scenes would you have cut from In Fifty Years We'll All Be Chicks...?

At least 5000 of the 10,000 or so F...... words could be eliminated with no harm to the book or the narration.
Repeated references to what a terrible mother and father he had could be reduced to only those in the first chapter which deals with his childhood and teenage years.
The over-exaggeration of Adam's intellectual deficiencies is un-necessary.




8 of 13 people found this review helpful