In Fifty Years We'll All Be Chicks...

. . . And Other Complaints from an Angry Middle-Aged White Guy
Narrated by: Adam Carolla
Length: 6 hrs and 42 mins
4.4 out of 5 stars (2,244 ratings)

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Publisher's Summary

"A couple years back, I was at the Phoenix airport bar. It was empty except for one heavy-set, gray bearded, grizzled guy who looked like he just rode his donkey into town after a long day of panning for silver in them thar hills. He ordered a Jack Daniels straight up, and that's when I overheard the young guy with the earring behind the bar asking him if he had ID. At first the old sea captain just laughed. But the guy with the twinkle in his ear asked again. At this point it became apparent that he was serious. Dan Haggerty's dad fired back, 'You've got to be kidding me, son.' The bartender replied, 'New policy. Everyone has to show their ID.' Then I watched Burl Ives reluctantly reach into his dungarees and pull out his military identification card from World War II." 

It's a sad and eerie harbinger of our times that the Oprah-watching, crystal-rubbing, Whole Foods-shopping moms and their whipped attorney husbands have taken the ability to reason away from the poor schlub who makes the Bloody Marys. What we used to settle with common sense or a fist, we now settle with hand sanitizer and lawyers. Adam Carolla has had enough of this insanity and he's here to help us get our collective balls back. 

In Fifty Years We'll All Be Chicks is Adam's comedic gospel of modern America. He rips into the absurdity of the culture that demonized the peanut butter and jelly sandwich, turned the nation's bathrooms into a lawless free-for-all of urine and fecal matter, and put its citizens at the mercy of a bunch of minimum wagers with axes to grind. Peppered between complaints Carolla shares candid anecdotes from his day to day life as well as his past Sunday football at Jimmy Kimmel's house, his attempts to raise his kids in a society that he mostly disagrees with, his big showbiz break, and much, much more. Brilliantly showcasing Adam's spot-on sense of humor, this book cements his status as a cultural commentator/comedian/complainer extraordinaire.

Adam Carolla is a radio and television host, comedian, and actor. He is the host of the "Adam Carolla Podcast", before which he hosted a weekday morning radio program broadcast from Los Angeles, and syndicated by CBS Radio. Besides these shows, Carolla is well known as the co-host of the radio show "Loveline" (and its television incarnation on MTV), as the co-creator and co-host of Comedy Central's The Man Show, and as the co-creator and the performer on Comedy Central and MTV's Crank Yankers and is a frequent contributor and contestant on ABC's top-rated program Dancing with the Stars. Carolla also starred in, co-wrote, and co-produced the award-winning independent film, The Hammer. He currently lives in Los Angeles with his wife and their two children.

©2010 Adam Carolla (P)2010 Random House Audio

Critic Reviews

"Adam Carolla is a genius. And no, I'm not kidding."(Jimmy Kimmel)
“I don’t know this guy from Adam, but Carolla’s humor - fearlessly crass, shamelessly honest and irresistibly funny - sucks out like liposuction the layers of fatty pride to expose the often warped and wounded psyche buried deep within the modern American male.”(Ken Burns)
"If comedy books were a big-breasted porn collection, In Fifty Years We'll All Be Chicks would be Christy Canyon." (Bill Simmons, ESPN columnist and best-selling author of The Book of Basketball)

What listeners say about In Fifty Years We'll All Be Chicks...

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  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars

Hilarious Book

This book is awesome. The fact the "Ace" (Adam Carolla) reads it himself makes it even better. I laughed so many times while listening to this book that I had to stop it just to catch my breath on a few ocassions. Kudos to Adam for writing this and pointing out the little things in life that are both irritating and funny. If you like witty and ocassionally offensive sarcasm, you would be a fool not to buy this book. Thanks for reading this Adam. No other reader could have made it as good as you did.

12 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    1 out of 5 stars

Dull and Duller

Just the dullest hour and a half of my life. Not funny and no point to any of it as far as I could tell.

4 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars

couldn't put it down

Loved this book! It's a bonus that Adam did the narration. The writing is very intelligent and articulate. So refreshing to hear someone speak freely without being worried about political correctness. Hope there is a 2nd edition!

4 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars

Adam says what we're all afraid to say

The title should probably say stand up and let em dangle. Adam says what we all want to say but stays humble and true to his roots. This audiobook is not a direct read from the book and is all over the map so if you already have the book (like me) get this audiobook as well to experience the full essence of Carolla, the visceral carnal spanking that society needs and Adam delivers. Thanks Ace.

22 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    2 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    2 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    1 out of 5 stars

A vast wasteland of a book

This book wasn’t for you, but who do you think might enjoy it more?

If you prefer your information in comedian nuggets such as,

Would you ever listen to anything by Adam Carolla again?

No.

How did the narrator detract from the book?

By delivering it as a stand-up routine in an empty room.

If you could play editor, what scene or scenes would you have cut from In Fifty Years We'll All Be Chicks...?

Audio form for this book was just a bad idea.

Any additional comments?

I discovered double-time playback on my device--the only way I could suffer through this book was to get it over in half time. I kept waiting for anything of redeeming value--surely the book is going to turn the corner. It never happens.

3 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    1 out of 5 stars

Buyer Beware!

I have never before written a review for Audible, no matter how good nor how bad I found the audiobook. But I can't let this one go by.

This book is absolutely dull. Well, I speak for the first 1 hour and 12 minutes of it. Because, I persevered that long and tried to give it a chance. But I couldn't waste any more time.

Someone else will have to write the review to let me know if the remaining 5 1/2 hours is what makes it worth the listen.

3 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars

Adam IS the Voice of Reason

Adam Carolla might rant and rave, but it's pretty much what every reasonable person is already thinking- or would be if the crazy left or right wing didn't try to guilt or bully them out of it. The left and the right might be loud, might have the soapbox, and each might be the flip-side of the same two-party coin, but Adam just tells it like it is, and illustrates time and time again that most people just plain don't think things through, or think critically enough to form reasonable or realistic opinions about anything. Adam's the blue collar hammer-swinging version of Jon Stewart, and not afraid to take on majority opinion or skewer the sacred cows. Adam is a great reader - and equally good at digression - so get an entertaining lesson in common sense with Adam Carolla, and download this now!

16 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    3 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    4 out of 5 stars

Very simular to his second book

Any additional comments?

The first half of this book was the same stories as his second book. After that it was damn funny

4 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars

Adam Carolla does no wrong...

Plain and simple...
there is no honesty... no true insight... no opinions these days. Adam Carolla is the truth.
Check out his podcasts.
from old lovelines to his true self in his podcasts u can't find better...
always insightful...

24 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    2 out of 5 stars

a little disappointed..

This is one of the first books I have purchased from Audible I just could not finish. While I love his sarcasm, I think his stories are a little more interesting to him then they are to anyone else. It has its moments.. just not enough of them. And his voice eventually is just irritating.

17 people found this helpful