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How to Be a Perfect Christian  By  cover art

How to Be a Perfect Christian

By: The Babylon Bee
Narrated by: Cassandra Campbell, Paul Boehmer
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Publisher's summary

With a biting, satirical style reminiscent of The Onion, How to Be a Perfect Christian takes a humorous look at the quirks of cultural Christianity while subtly challenging the listener to search for more than a cultural faith.

Written in the trademark style of The Babylon Bee, this book humorously satirizes cultural Christianity while peppering in subtle challenges to the listener. Through humor and sarcasm (and a handy meter to rank your "holiness" as you progress through the audiobook), listeners will be called to find a more biblical understanding of the Christian faith, all while poking fun at the quirks of the modern, American Christian community.

PLEASE NOTE: When you purchase this title, the accompanying PDF will be available in your Audible Library along with the audio.

©2018 The Babylon Bee, LLC (P)2018 Random House Audio

Critic reviews

"I love the Babylon Bee, whose authors are the Jonathan Swift of our era. I'm rarely sure whether to laugh or cry. The only time I wasn't giggling in this book was when I was wincing from a well-placed poke. What makes their stuff my favorite, however, is that it never degrades into cynical. It's clear that behind their snarky humor is something they genuinely love: the church." (J. D. Greear, author of Not God Enough: Why Your Small God Leads to Big Problems and Stop Asking Jesus into Your Heart: How to Know for Sure You Are Saved)

"Forget love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control! Perfection is so much better than the fruit of the Spirit. And, as the Babylon Bee's How to Be a Perfect Christian shows, it's a lot easier too." (Karen Swallow Prior, author of Booked: Literature in the Soul of Me and Fierce Convictions: The Extraordinary Life of Hannah More - Poet, Reformer Abolitionist)

What listeners say about How to Be a Perfect Christian

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Satire at its best makes you think

Having read Babylon Bee this book fits into that category. Satire that is expressly Christian in nature. It had me howling with delight.

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great book book by an awesome company!

awesome narration, and kept me
laughing the entire way through! it also had me looking up verses and quotes to see the actual meaning which made it that much more enjoyable!

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If You Can't Laugh At This...Lighten Up, Francis!

If You Can't Laugh At This...Lighten Up, Francis!
God created you with a sense of humor...if you don't think so, look in the mirror.

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made me laugh a lot

absolutely great. the satire of this book was definitely what I needed to laugh out loud!

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Mercilessly entertaining

This book had me laughing out loud. The writing is extremely well done, and there are dozens of great funny zingers to quote. The one "flaw" is that it isn't internally consistent. However, the reason is that they're making fun of those on all sides. They're merciless, but they make you think. I certainly could see a bit of myself in some points (if not my intentions, certainly how I could be viewed), as well as my local church and other churches I've visited. Like they say, "it's funny because it's true". Note that this probably wouldn't register with those who aren't familiar with church or churches, the Bible, church history, etc. For example, pretty much every reference to the Bible is misquoted on purpose. And if you just hate Christianity and aren't aware that this is actually written for and about Christians, you may find it funny but not grasp it in the spirit in which it is written. If you're a Christian with a great sense of humor and aren't easily offended, this is for you.

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Oh the joy of works and doubt!

This book was just incredible. The comprehensive guide to getting on the FastTrack to the lesser known fruit of the spirit, doubting my eternal rest!

I wish I would have continued listening when they told people to talk about other Bible translations with KJV only believers. I engaged someone in Arizona who I was excitedly sharing the truth of the ESV with who I have seen on the magical interwebs and couldn't wait to take this books advice... Well I am now in hiding and have since listened to the disclaimer. What a fearful thing to fall into the YouTube subject line of the KJV only preacher.

Great work, I look forward to other titles that did into eschatology, creeds, and the all important baptism debates!

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Very funny

Well narrated. I found a large percentage of this book funny. I think the scope could have been a little narrower... It covers a lot of Christan stereotypes. I do recommend it.

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Exceeded our expectations...

How to Be a Perfect Christian was a delightful read, hitting all the American Christian foibles with thoughtful wit. There are two readers in this audio edition, a man and a woman, and both are simply excellent at their craft. Without giving it away, I'll just say that the end of the book is perfect. Well done, Babylon Bee!

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holy audiobook!

I feel incredibly uplifted and a thousand times more spiritual than before. I had no idea what I was missing, what I was doing wrong, but this really helped me on my way to becoming a perfect Christian. #blessed

p.s. if the authors are reading this, how many holiness points is a review of a book like this worth? Do I have to post it to my Facebook to count?

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Overall Hilarious.

Overall a hilarious book. The sarcasm was spot on! Unfortunately it was so comedic because it’s very close to the truth.

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