Burnout

The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle

By: Emily Nagoski, Amelia Nagoski

Narrated by: Emily Nagoski, Amelia Nagoski

Length: 7 hrs and 1 min

Publisher's summary

New York Times Best Seller

“This book is a gift! I’ve been practicing their strategies, and it’s a total game-changer.” (Brené Brown, PhD, author of the number one New York Times best seller Dare to Lead)

This groundbreaking book explains why women experience burnout differently than men - and provides a simple, science-based plan to help women minimize stress, manage emotions, and live a more joyful life.

Burnout. Many women in America have experienced it. What’s expected of women and what it’s really like to be a woman in today’s world are two very different things - and women exhaust themselves trying to close the gap between them. How can you “love your body” when every magazine cover has 10 diet tips for becoming “your best self”? How do you “lean in” at work when you’re already operating at 110 percent and aren’t recognized for it? How can you live happily and healthily in a sexist world that is constantly telling you you’re too fat, too needy, too noisy, and too selfish?

Sisters Emily Nagoski, PhD, and Amelia Nagoski, DMA, are here to help end the cycle of feeling overwhelmed and exhausted. Instead of asking us to ignore the very real obstacles and societal pressures that stand between women and well-being, they explain with compassion and optimism what we’re up against - and show us how to fight back. 

In this audiobook, you’ll learn:

• What you can do to complete the biological stress cycle - and return your body to a state of relaxation
• How to manage the “monitor” in your brain that regulates the emotion of frustration
• How the Bikini Industrial Complex makes it difficult for women to love their bodies - and how to defend yourself against it
• Why rest, human connection, and befriending your inner critic are keys to recovering and preventing burnout 

With the help of eye-opening science, prescriptive advice, and helpful exercises, all women will find something transformative in this audiobook - and will be empowered to create positive change. Emily and Amelia aren’t here to preach the broad platitudes of expensive self-care or insist that we strive for the impossible goal of “having it all”. Instead, they tell us that we are enough, just as we are - and that wellness, true wellness, is within our reach. 

Named One of the Best Books of the Year by Book Riot 

"Burnout is the gold standard of self-help books, delivering cutting-edge science with energy, empathy, and wit. The authors know exactly what’s going on inside your frazzled brain and body, and exactly what you can do to fix it. Truly life-changing." (Sarah Knight, New York Times best-selling author of Calm the F--k Down) 

PLEASE NOTE: When you purchase this title, the accompanying PDF will be available in your Audible Library along with the audio.

©2019 Emily Nagoski (P)2019 Random House Audio

Critic reviews

“I am calmer just reading this book! If you feel burned out, Patricia Bannan gets you and dishes up totally realistic solutions with humor, compassion, and expertise in the kitchen and beyond. Be your own best friend and get yourself a copy!” (Ellie Krieger, RD, TV personality and best-selling cookbook author) 

“The wealth of thoughtful, thorough, insightful recommendations here is like cool water for a burning thirst. I relish the idea of people reading this wise book and finding real and lasting relief.” (David L. Katz, MD, MPH, past president, American College of Lifestyle Medicine) 

“If you feel overwhelmed and exhausted - and who doesn’t? - this is the book for you. With tasty recipes, beautiful photos, and genius tips, From Burnout to Balance will put you on the path to a life that feels good.” (Maya Feller, MS, RD, CDN, author of The Southern Comfort Food Diabetes Cookbook) 

Solid Book with a Single Exception

As a man who first listened to Come as You Are, and who then recommended it to his wife and 15 year-old son, I was excited to move on to Burnout. As many did, I found the stress response cycle to be an intriguing idea in Come as You Are. I also found the book to be more universally applicable to men and women than the title suggested, gaining valuable insights into my own sexuality, not just my partner's.

My lone exception to Burnout book is the introduction. The introduction lumps all men into The Patriarchy and then proceeds to label The Patriarchy as The Enemy. I kept waiting for some distinction to emerge between The Enemy and men who care about their wives and daughters and the cultural messages they receive about their lives and particularly how they SHOULD lead their lives. Yet no mention was ever made; in fact The Enemy, without distinction, was repeated multiple times throughout the introduction.

As a college educated, white male and the sole income earner in a 1950's-style nuclear family, I understand the privileged position I'm in. And I don't take it for granted. Yet that privilege doesn't impart a carefree, stress-free life. My gender and my role carry their own embedded and misguided cultural messages, their own stressors, and I do actually have my own stress-response cycle to complete. But above all else, I care about how my wife and young daughter are expected to move through and respond to the world.

I kept waiting for the introduction to make the leap to the conceptual Enemy - The Should. I can except The Patriarchy as having established and continuing to perpetuate the myth of Should. It is the idea that any of us Should live our lives conforming to outdated and detrimental cultural norms about gender, religious, and racial equality, and more importantly true, individual freedoms, that is The Enemy. Failing to make room for a single man who actually cares is itself a perpetuation of outdated and detrimental cultural stereotypes.

It hasn't ruined the book for me. The book is, as expected, insightful, helpful and universally applicable to women and to men (who also actually have emotions). I'll still ask that my wife listen to it, and even recommend it to both my 15yo son and 12yo daughter. And I'd recommend it to whomever has taken the time to read this.

Strong start, got a bit ranty. Couldn’t finish it.

The beginning of this book was promising and I really enjoyed the narration. In the beginning you could hear flecks if angry feminism and I get it, I’m a feminist and get angry too. The problem is when you pick up a book that sounds like something that is going to help you through something, in this case burnout, and it turns into you and the author just getting mad about the circumstances that led to the problem. Yeah, that was kinda how it got after the first chapter and just kept going. It is important to know how women get burnout but maybe having already known that stuff, it just was fuel to a fire for me and just made me angrier about things that are way beyond my control. I got to the last couple of hours and had to stop listening because it was taking me further down the disengagement with life than I was when I picked up the book.

Leftist and very whiny.

There are some helpful ideas for coping with burnout; but the important stuff is buried in extreme leftist politics. And, I just don't care for whiny. This was in the self-help section. It should be in the whiny, crybaby, I hate men section. And it needs a warning label that it's more politics than help. I'm a 60 year old woman. I know many women all colors and all sorts of political leanings. Everyone of them are strong, mature women. They don't whine; and they like men just fine. I'm burned out from trying to get thru this book.

Great science if you push past the agenda

This book has seriously transformed the way I work with clients as their mental health therapist. It has reframed the way I view stress and has reinforced the message of self care in an evidence based no BS way. I LOVE that.

I would have rated this title 5 stars if there had been less man bashing and political messages being delivered. I certainly did not purchase this book to hear about how oppressed I am as a women. Was getting quite tired of the phrase "patriarch...eck" We get it, you hate masculinity and everything it stands for.

I have recommended this book to other women but have warned them...as long as you can stick to the science and real life tools to deal with stress and ignore the underlying agenda, you will gain great knowledge.

revelatory!

I honestly CAN. NOT. Say enough good things about this book! This is us! It is how our brains work! It is how and why our friendships work! This book is nourishment! It's vegetables for the soul! It explains SO much of the stress response, and why the things that make us feel better work! It's written by twins, they read it and are fun. This book is especially intended for women and talks about some of the systematic stresses we experience. It includes people of color and LGBTQ etc, makes disclaimers about the science (who did the science, who paid for it, who was and wasn't studied). It talks about stress from body issues, and the patriarchy and politics. Please add this to your must read list. This would be an excellent book for allies, men who want to improve diversity in the workplace, or wherever. Please encourage them to understand us better. I've literally had aha after aha about stress, coping methods, and even normalizing reassurance about the slightly woo-feeling of Knowing how other people feel. This book is helpful, normalizing, and encouraging. I want you all to read it and know that you are the new Hotness!. 😘💌

Refreshing

I’ve listened to many self help books and they can get repetitive. This one had a fresh voice and intriguing ideas I hadn’t heard before. About to start it over and listen again.

Disguised political rhetoric

As a healthcare professional I agree with some of the views regarding gender inequality and other non-scientific topics exposed in this book. However, I purchased this book in order to learn more about burn out and how to explain the condition to my patients in a different way. I have bought several books on the subject before and I have found them helpful in my practice. However, despite some very nice techniques of explaining this condition, a great deal of the book is devoted to propagating the authors‘ political views. I stopped listening halfway through not because I disagree with them, but because I feel it is dishonest for an author to misrepresent the content of a work by giving it a title that
misguides the reader.

it's weirdly condescending

The whole book was kinda pandering but it got too much when the author started making a gag sound after saying the word "patriarchy" as if the women listening couldn't handle hearing the word? Once might just be the author being silly but she does it EVERY SINGLE TIME she says patriarchy. I had to stop listening. I'm a grown woman that has had to grow up in a patriarchy, like every other woman. We can handle hearing the word patriarchy or any other subject on the matter. If you write another book, please do so as if you are addressing grown adults. I want facts and studies without you trying to make science palatable for women. Very irritating and weirdly ironic.

Timely and insightful

The authors do a great job of breaking down the causes of burnout and what we can do in response. While geared toward women, the learnings and tools are applicable to all, and I would go as far to say that most managers and parents irrespective of gender should give this a read to help better society overall. Another massively insightful, science backed book. I’d trust these authors with anything.

Great content, couldn’t finish it

The tips and advice in this book are fantastic, but I couldn’t get past all the trying to be cool references. The narration was awful too. I couldn’t finish listening and returned it, but plan to get a hard copy because the strategies really are great.