Unbearable Lightness

A Story of Loss and Gain

By: Portia de Rossi

Narrated by: Portia de Rossi

Length: 9 hrs and 18 mins

Publisher's summary

“I didn’t decide to become anorexic. It snuck up on me disguised as a healthy diet, a professional attitude. Being as thin as possible was a way to make the job of being an actress easier . . .”

Portia de Rossi weighed only 82 pounds when she collapsed on the set of the Hollywood film in which she was playing her first leading role. This should have been the culmination of all her years of hard work - first as a child model in Australia, then as a cast member of one of the hottest shows on American television. On the outside she was thin and blond, glamorous and successful. On the inside, she was literally dying.

In this searing, unflinchingly honest book, Portia de Rossi captures the complex emotional truth of what it is like when food, weight, and body image take priority over every other human impulse or action. She recounts the elaborate rituals around eating that came to dominate hours of every day, from keeping her daily calorie intake below 300 to eating precisely measured amounts of food out of specific bowls and only with certain utensils. When this wasn’t enough, she resorted to purging and compulsive physical exercise, driving her body and spirit to the breaking point.

Even as she rose to fame as a cast member of the hit television shows Ally McBeal and Arrested Development, Portia alternately starved herself and binged, all the while terrified that the truth of her sexuality would be exposed in the tabloids. She reveals the heartache and fear that accompany a life lived in the closet, a sense of isolation that was only magnified by her unrelenting desire to be ever thinner. With the storytelling skills of a great novelist and the eye for detail of a poet, Portia makes transparent as never before the behaviors and emotions of someone living with an eating disorder.

From her lowest point, Portia began the painful climb back to a life of health and honesty, falling in love with and eventually marrying Ellen DeGeneres, and emerging as an outspoken and articulate advocate for gay rights and women’s health issues.

In this remarkable and beautifully written work, Portia shines a bright light on a dark subject. A crucial book for all those who might sometimes feel at war with themselves or their bodies, Unbearable Lightness is a story that inspires hope and nourishes the spirit.

©2010 Simon & Schuster Audio; 2010 Portia de Rossi

Critic reviews

“Breathtakingly honest, brutal and beautiful.” (Jonathan Safran Foer)

“Possibly the best book on the subject ever written. De Rossi is the real deal, a fine writer with a sharp mind and substance. This rich, layered book of remarkable courage, power, and significance will serve as life-changing inspiration for many.” (Augusten Burroughs)

“De Rossi tells her story with genuine insight and unflinching honesty. You will cheer her on.” —Jeannette Walls

Painfully true

As a fellow woman with disordered eating, I found P's honesty profound among a painfully covert and dishonest group of suffering bulimics and anorexics. I hope it encourages others. I want to get better too.

Very relatable

I love how she tackled body dysmorphia, bulimia, and anorexia so honestly. this was very relatable and enlightening.

Honest and interesting

What did you love best about Unbearable Lightness?

Portia was very truthful with her experience; some details were shocking but really made me feel like walking into the life of an anorexic. I was afraid that she wouldn't be that professional a write but the events and themes were structurely skillfully and kept me interested throughout. I also enjoyed hearing about her homosexual and recovery experience. It's an easy "read" and I liked how I was able to listen to it while doing other things. Definitely a plus that she read it herself.

Better Than I Thought It Would Be

I was never a fan of Portia DeRossi on Ally McBeal, but thought she was hilarious on Arrested Development, so I was mildly interested in her story. I was quite surprised how I could not stop listening. She is so honest about everything - more than just her eating disorder but her family, her childhood, her insecurities - things many of us would have a hard time talking about even with our best friends. It was also interesting to hear how she ended up being successful in probably that last field for which she was suitable. It's amazing she pulled through and could write such a soul-bearing book, considering how she started out.

Incredible

incredible
simply inspiring
thanks so human, so real .
recommended for anyone teaches you to value yourself on any or any opinion

Wow wonderful read

the last hour and 15 minutes of recovery are so hopeful for anyone who has a loved one with bulimia or anorexia; the first 3/4 are what we see but give us insight into how the loved one with the disorder feels, I recommend everyone read so you to can see the signs of a disease that's so well hidden due to shame

Amazing Book

So truly enjoyed this book... Love the honesty and emotion Portia put into this book..

Outstanding and Inspirational

I don't care for nonfiction. I find it boring and generally inaccessible to most readers outside the specifically targeted market. This book is none of that. This is a hard book. It is raw and honest and gritty and truthful and REAL in a way I haven't seen before. I found myself unable to stop listening; I was completely enthralled in the perilous journey and even though I knew the general outcome, I still felt afraid of what would happen to the author. To hear the story directly from the author's, Portia de Rossi's, lips was even more powerful. She lived through it and her courage to share, without censorship, her trials and triumphs with others is extraordinary. As soon as I finished listening, I wanted to begin again, it is that good.

The definitive book on Anorexia/Bulimia. Period.

I would recommend this to anyone that can't relate/doesn't understand the mindset of an Anorexic/Bulimic. I'd also recommend this to people that want a career in acting or modeling because of de Rossi's well-deserved rage and frustration with the pressure to conform to the unhealthy and dangerous "size zero" ideal that the entertainment and modeling industry forces upon women, young and old. From beginning to end, the author guides you through the day to day, moment by moment hell that she went through to meet societal standards so that she could earn a living, petrified that her next meal could trigger another dangerous binge. This is also a candid memoir about a time in Hollywood when stating that you are gay meant the end of your career. She lived in fear of being "outed" and stalked by the press, becoming tabloid fodder and never being able to work again. Heartbreaking and devastating. de Rossi is such a talented author that I wish she'd write more books in the future. Her intense and vivid style of writing instantly draws the listener in. This is a definitive "must listen."

Riveting

It is generally not a good decision to be the narrator of your own book, but I think it was a good decision in this case. After listening to this, I felt like I truly understood what it was like to have an eating disorder. Not only was the writing first rate, I felt like the author was as true and honest as she could be while detailing her experience. There was not a false note anywhere.