Outofshapeworthlessloser

A Memoir of Figure Skating, F*cking Up, and Figuring It Out

By: Gracie Gold

Narrated by: Gracie Gold

Length: 9 hrs and 39 mins

Publisher's summary

NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER • A “piercing account” (The Wall Street Journal) of surviving as a young woman in a society that rewards appearances more than anything and demands perfection at all costs—especially if you’re an Olympic figure skater.

“A riveting memoir, which details her experience with an eating disorder, depression and her high-stakes career.”—People (Best Books to Read in February 2024)

When Gracie Gold stepped onto center stage (or ice, rather) as America’s sweetheart at the 2014 Sochi Olympics, she instantly became the face of America’s most beloved winter sport. Beautiful, blonde, Midwestern, and media-trained, she was suddenly being written up everywhere from The New Yorker to Teen Vogue to People and baking cookies with Taylor Swift.

But little did the public know what Gold was facing when the cameras were off, driven by the self-destructive voice inside that she calls “outofshapeworthlessloser.” In 2017, she entered treatment for what was publicly announced as an eating disorder and anxiety treatment but was, in reality, suicidal ideation. While Gold’s public star was rising, her private life was falling apart: Cracks within her family were widening, her bulimia was getting worse, and she became a survivor of sexual assault. The pressure of training for years with demanding coaches and growing up in a household that accepted nothing less than gold had finally taken its toll.

Now Gold reveals the exclusive and harrowing story of her struggles in and out of the pressure-packed world of elite figure skating: the battles with her family, her coaches, the powers-that-be at her federation, and her deteriorating mental health.

Outofshapeworthlessloser is not only a forceful reckoning from a world-class athlete but also an intimate memoir, told with unflinching honesty and stirring defiance.

©2024 Gracie Gold (P)2024 Random House Audio

Critic reviews

“Stunningly candid . . . The depth and breadth of the problems Gold reveals in the memoir stunned me. And the way she has been putting her life back together continues to impress.” —Phil Hersh

Real, Raw, Honest, and Beautiful

The title of my review should speak for itself. Thank you Grace for the opportunity to get to know you and your beautiful journey in this world.

Raw honesty

Really no words to describe the gift that GG has given the world. Thank you ❤️

5/5 EXCELLENT!!!

Oh! a 5/5! I admire Gracie Gold so much, even though when I picked this title, I had no idea who she was! I totally picked this book just because I was drawn to it, outofshapeworthlessloser I thought, I've said that to myself a lot. I never followed figure skating, and I'm an eclectic reader. I was so intrigued by the title and was drawn to it for so much for some reason! I had to buy it. Books never make cry, or bring up so much raw emotions. This one did it. The ending made me cry! I think her life story is amazing, and gave me a look into a world foreign to me, figure skating! I also loved how the narrator was Gracie herself! THANK YOU FOR WRITING THIS BOOK GRACIE!! MUCH LOVE TO YOU GRACIE GOLD!

Heartfelt memoir

Really enjoyed hearing Gracie narrate this book. It was enlightening and moving. Must read for figure skaters and fans of the sport.

Raw and Real

Her honesty and realness brake through all the plastic facades and lets you feel the rawness of her highs and lows, root and ache for her, but most of all admire her for being a voice in the wildness and grateful that she shared her life openly. This book will have a higher impact than any amount of gold medals. I salute you Gracie Elizabeth Gold.

No Holds Barred

Gracie shares all the ups and downs and the nitty gritty behind the scenes elements and issues of the life of a teenage athlete in world class sports. She explores her walk into and thru mental illness... highlighting her personal causes, while also shedding light on a culture that nudges many many athletes down a similar path. Why do so many American world class skaters (when they retire from competition) turn their backs on the sport? Gracie shares compelling reasons... and has hope that things can be improved.

Good story overall

Enjoyed the story’s honesty and candidness, performance was a bit monotone. Overall a good listen.

Riveting behind-the-scenes tale

Honest and raw recounting of the psychological struggles of a professional athlete. Gold doesn’t mince words when she talks about all the public pressure that contributed to her own perfectionism and led her to nearly self-destruct.

Great example of healing and speaking out against the machine

This story pulls back the curtain on many things that most people won’t talk about - mental health and pretty-picture athletes specifically. The Olympics are tainted for me for many reasons. And Grace’s story is just one. It’s almost like the Olympics are a shadow global political arena. I still enjoy watching but I can’t I know what I know. I’m an outsider and I’ve seen so many of these talented humans destroyed in the pursuit of a gold medal that a country leader or its people seemingly take credit for. So I applaud Grace for saying all the hard truths without apology.

The uncomfortable honesty about her family and her mental health journey is a gift to all. So many lessons learned about being a human.

A beautiful and brave story!

Moving and inspiring. A very candid and important story. I loved it. Definitely a must for skating fans but anyone would enjoy hearing about this tale of authenticity and loving yourself regardless of yourself.