Too Fat to Fish

By: Artie Lange

Narrated by: Artie Lange

Length: 7 hrs and 56 mins

Publisher's summary

When Artie Lange joined the permanent cast of The Howard Stern Show in 2001, it was possibly the greatest thing ever to happen in the Stern universe, second only to the show's move to the wild, uncensored frontier of satellite radio. Lange provided what Stern had yet to find all in the same place: a wit quick enough to keep pace with his own, a pathetic self-image to dwarf his own, a personal history both heartbreaking and hilarious, and an ingrained sense of self-sabotage that continually keeps things interesting.

A natural storyteller with a bottomless pit of material, Lange grew up in a close-knit, working-class Italian family in Union, New Jersey, as a maniacal Yankees fan who pursued the two things his father said he was cut out for: sports and comedy. Tragically, Artie Lange Sr. never saw the truth in that prediction. He became a quadriplegic in an accident when Artie was 18 and died soon after. But as with every trial in his life, from his drug addiction to his obesity, to his fights with his mother, Artie mines the humor, pathos, and humanity in these events and turns them into comedy classics.

True fans of the Stern Show will find Artie gold in these pages: hilarious tales that couldn't have happened to anyone else. There are stories from his days driving a Jersey cab, working as a longshoreman in Port Newark, and navigating the dark circuit of stand-up comedy. There are outrageous episodes from the frenzied heights of his coked-up days at MADtv, surprisingly moving stories from his childhood, and an account of his recent U.S.O. tour that is equally stirring and irreverent. But also in this volume are stories Artie's never told before, including some that he deemed too revealing for radio.

Wild, shocking, and drop-dead hilarious, Too Fat to Fish is Artie Lange giving everything he's got to give. And like a true pro, the man never disappoints.

©2008 Artie Lang (P)2008 Random House

Critic reviews

"A very funny man." (David Letterman)
"A comedy treasure....One of the funniest guys there is....The pride of New Jersey." (Jimmy Kimmel)

Two Hands on the Wheel

If you, like me, tend to listen to your audiobooks on the road, beware. Keep two hands on the wheel. As you will need all the help you can get when hysteria takes over.

A brilliant several hours is delivered by a talent too large to miss. Outburst laughter, heartfelt sadness, anger, and stark moments of self loathing bring this marvelous journey to life.

As a long time AudibleListener, whose style is leave the writing to the professionals, I will not bore you with why the quintet of stars?

All I pray is Artie finds time for more . . . and shelves any notion his contribution is all there is - for a shame it would be if this were his way of scripting the longest suicide note on record.

Do yourself a favor, and make the download button your next key stroke. Fire!

ARTIE LANGE IS AMAZING & SO TRUTHFUL IN THIS BOOK

If you could sum up Too Fat to Fish in three words, what would they be?

Perseverance, love &, determination

Who was your favorite character and why?

THEYRE ALL GREAT I REALLY CANT JUST PICK ONE probably the pig character in babe watch I had to looked that up on YouTube because it sounded hilarious

What about Artie Lange’s performance did you like?

He was so truthful, just like he is in Real life, also undoubtably on the Howard Stern show. He really makes it clear that struggles whatever it might be drugs, career, family. He puts it all on the table really interesting, he's brutally honesty & I look up to it, even though he has major ups and downs I'd say a lot of downs but more UPS BECAUSE he wouldn't be where he is if it was all downS... He truly inspires me because I do also related to his drug abuse problems and it show me that through determination and hard work those battles can be won. Even one has demons that they must persevere through. I truly enjoyed the whole book even though he talks about his fathers death a lot (Which i understand cause family is very thing to him and that played a huge roll in his life to pick up where he father left off_ to be the strong "man of the house") but I obviously cant knock him for that. The only reason I bring that up is cause i wanted to listen to HIS stories and life more than the depressing stories about his fathers problems. But his family is what made him, him so that's why he brings them up! but he does tell the story about his father and how he died at least three or four times in the book that was a little too much but thats what impacted his life so much, which brought him all these interesting issues he strugggled with his whole life. Which IS why he mentions it a lot. So overall its an amazing book and i recommended to anybody who is interested in the person who struggles a real person with the real stories with real live with Real struggles a real down to earth person overcoming obstacles in life to become successful all while knocking on deaths door (According to figures in his life). Great job Artie your the man! My friends recently met him @ a bar in nyc and i wish i could have met him as well. Hopefully some day cause we have a lot in common. THANKS!

Was there a moment in the book that particularly moved you?

When he mentions his big break /Meaning his paycheck and completely removes him mom of all the stress of bill/ debt. Buys her new house, car,whatever she wanted that's truly a sons dream to do to a mother and that particularly moved me. Additionally he helped his sister, which was very gracious of him because they stuck by him through ups and downs just like a family should do. Blood is thicker than water.

Any additional comments?

I got this book through audible credits and honestly I would buy this book if I didn't have the free credits to download this book it was that good! I am a huge Artie Lange fan and I think that this book is amazing. So is crash and burn/ I love Artie Lange and everything he has to offer he's a truthful man and that what makes him so lovable cause its life and its relatable!

A must for any Stern Fan

A real (scary) look into Artie's life and how he became who he is today. The book is extremely funny; even the Rev. Bob makes a guest reading and the words were pronounced almost accurately.

Half audio, disappointing

It started out so good until Artie couldn't continue reading. If I knew this, I would have instead bought the book.

Rev Bob Levy

Would have been a great audiobook, except Bob Levy’s illiteracy really brought it down . Terrible

Artie the Everyman millionaire

I love Artie. With all his craziness, addiction issues, temper, etc., you still love and can't be mad at him. Yes you are mad that he is killing himself. But there is something about this crazy son of a bitch (joke) that you can't help but root for him to get better. His self sabotaging ways are intoxicating. I'm addicted. Great book. If you listen to the Stern show you know there is no sound better than when Artie is laughing. Well when Artie and Robin are hysterically laughing... that is the best but we are talking about Artie here.

Fantastic Listen

Where does Too Fat to Fish rank among all the audiobooks you’ve listened to so far?

This absolutely ranks waaaaay at the top of the autobiographies I've listened too. Artie is so honest and has really lived life. He pulls no punches, doesn't sugar coat it and he is truthful about himself which most people aren't. This story is hilarious, sad, poignant... absolutely worth your time!

What was one of the most memorable moments of Too Fat to Fish?

My favorite story was about Artie and his Dad going to the world series. Absolutely made me cry and gives me goosebumps now remembering it.

Would you listen to another book narrated by Artie Lange?

Absolutely... and he should have read the entire thing!!!!

Was this a book you wanted to listen to all in one sitting?

I DID listen to this all in one sitting.

Any additional comments?

I am not a howard stern fan- don't even listen to his show... so that is not why I got this book. Artie Lang is a talented man.

Constant Train Wrecking

If you could sum up Too Fat to Fish in three words, what would they be?

Constant. Train. Wreck.

Who was your favorite character and why?

Artie is my favorite character. It's an autobiography.

What about Artie Lange’s performance did you like?

I wish that he would have finished reading the entire book himself.

Was there a moment in the book that particularly moved you?

his dad's death

Any additional comments?

I got through it pretty quickly. I needed some popular culture after listening to Einstein's biography.

**Great book, funny man, sad sad story**

Been listening to Artie on the Howard Stern show for years. Couldn't wait for his book. Artie hit a homerun...a great book, funny, sad, and very moving. Sorry to hear about his terrible suicide attempt, but if you listen or read his book you can see how he struggles with his career, drugs, and his fathers sad accident and death. Good luck Artie...hope 2011 is a better year for you.

Don’t like the parts read by others

Artie , you owe it to us to come back and read the parts you left out . Great stories!! World Series story made me cry at the end.