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Publisher's Summary

Screw Everyone is comedian Ophira Eisenberg's wisecracking account of how she spent most of her life saying "yes" to everything - and everyone - and how that attitude ultimately helped her overcome her phobia of commitment.

Skeptical about long-term relationships, Eisenberg approached dating as a sort of research experiment from early on: She spent her twenties traveling from futon to futon and gathering data, figuring that one day she'd put it all together somehow and build her own perfect Frankenmate. When she met a guy who didn't fall for the emotionally cavalier facade she'd constructed (a guy who wanted marriage and monogamy), she knew it was time to reevaluate.

From her first kiss to saying "I do", Screw Everyone is an honest, hilarious chronicle of how one woman discovered herself, conquered her fears, and even found the real thing one promiscuous encounter at a time.

©2013 Ophira Eisenberg (P)2014 Audible Inc.

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What members say

Average Customer Ratings

Overall

  • 4 out of 5 stars
  • 5 Stars
    95
  • 4 Stars
    96
  • 3 Stars
    58
  • 2 Stars
    7
  • 1 Stars
    7

Performance

  • 4.5 out of 5 stars
  • 5 Stars
    139
  • 4 Stars
    69
  • 3 Stars
    23
  • 2 Stars
    3
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    6

Story

  • 4 out of 5 stars
  • 5 Stars
    77
  • 4 Stars
    86
  • 3 Stars
    58
  • 2 Stars
    9
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    10
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  • Overall
    3 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    4 out of 5 stars

Funny, good for passing time

Is there anything you would change about this book?

The book was well written, funny and great story.

What was one of the most memorable moments of Screw Everyone?

The last few chapters were the funniest. I don't want to give the book away but it was worth the read.

What about Ophira Eisenberg’s performance did you like?

She really helped with the character and did a great job with the story.

What else would you have wanted to know about Ophira Eisenberg’s life?

I feel like the readers are openly invited into her life and the story didn't leave out any details. Maybe another book is in the near future?

2 of 2 people found this review helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars

Best Audiobook EVER... and I'm not even done yet.

THIS BOOK IS HYSTERICAL. Ophira wrote this book with her obvious intelligence, snappy delivery and unapologetic candor... all of which combined make this great book probably the best book I'll hear in 2014. [Considering I have 112 titles in my online library, I feel very qualified to say this.] Oh, and I'm only 2/3rd done. As the title would suggest, it is slightly provocative, but that only adds to its complete awesomeness. If you're a woman, you will (unless you live under a rock) relate. If you're a dude, you'll enjoy Ophira's exploits and masculine approaches to dealing with/understanding men. Deep down she was always a girl looking for love, but thankfully (because it gave her material for this book) it was in all the wrong places. In the end, kissing a lot of frogs will eventually net you a prince. Thanks, Ophira!

2 of 2 people found this review helpful

  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    4 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    4 out of 5 stars
  • Brandin
  • Los Angeles, CA, United States
  • 03-17-14

Actually a 3.75 Stars....but I rounded up :)

Not as good as some other books in this genre...but still, I made it through the whole thing & there were several parts that made me laugh out loud, hard. Good enough to recommend to a friend....and I might even listen to it again in 6 months. ((((i retouch & process photographic images, so audiobooks are my salvation....)))

Some definite MEANDERING at times, but she gets back on track pretty quickly..... The brutal honesty kept me coming back for more.

2 of 2 people found this review helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars

Not a self help book. But helpful anyway.

Loved this story. Very relatable. This was not a self help book, but was helpful anyway. At moments, I laughed out loud and found myself noting the similarities to my own life.

1 of 1 people found this review helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars

Damn funny

I thought it would be as funny as another comic dating memoir and it was and then some. I loved how frank she was about her experiences and that in the end got the guy who let them have that year for themselves.

1 of 1 people found this review helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Kara
  • Asheville, NC, United States
  • 12-31-14

Worth it!

I didn't actually know what to expect from this book - my free credits had been piling up and I came across this book randomly while looking for something light and funny. I like listening to NPR's Ask Me Another, which Ophira hosts, and I'd heard a little of her humor. I enjoyed this book so much, I found Ophira to be a totally different person than I'd assumed from my own NPR stereotypes (highly intellectual, driven people from successful, upper-middle class homes who made all the right decisions, etc). So, as someone who often feels lost and who definitely hasn't made the all the right decisions, I really loved that I could relate so much to Ophira. And of course, it was very funny and very interesting and just overall a great listen.

1 of 1 people found this review helpful

  • Overall
    3 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    4 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    3 out of 5 stars
  • Pattie
  • MARINA DEL REY, CA, United States
  • 12-07-14

Funny - East listening for a good laugh.

Funny - East listening for a good laugh. Think it would have been better seeing her live in person doing her standup.

1 of 1 people found this review helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars

Excellent book!

Funny, engaging, very entertaining. Ophira, we were introduced to you via Ask Me Another and fell in love with you via this book. Excellent!

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    4 out of 5 stars

Entertaining, original, confidently narrated

If you prefer your wit dry, your sarcasm subtle, and your female protagonists unconventional and unapologetic, you'll love Ophira's coming of age promiscuity arc. It's not without a few decent lessons learned, or beautiful moments had. Plenty of hilarious hookup romps and relationship fails to entertain any human.

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars

Pretty funny

If you could sum up Screw Everyone in three words, what would they be?

Awesome, Funny, Relatable

What about Ophira Eisenberg’s performance did you like?

She was great her voice really added to the book.

Any additional comments?

You should really buy this. I had a lot of work to do and the hours flew buy listening to this book. Great book!

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  • Overall
    2 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    2 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    2 out of 5 stars
  • jake
  • 06-18-16

Not for me

If this book wasn’t for you, who do you think might enjoy it more?

Maybe a high school student

Has Screw Everyone put you off other books in this genre?

a bit

How could the performance have been better?

maybe a younger person

What reaction did this book spark in you? Anger, sadness, disappointment?

disappointment

Any additional comments?

just could not get into it ay all

1 of 2 people found this review helpful