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Publisher's Summary

Clinton Kelly is probably best known for teaching women how to make their butts look smaller. But in I Hate Everyone, Except You, he reveals some heretofore unknown secrets about himself, like that he's a finicky connoisseur of 1980s pornography, a disillusioned critic of New Jersey's premier water parks, and perhaps the world's least enthused high school commencement speaker. Whether he's throwing his baby sister in the air to jump-start her cheerleading career or heroically rescuing his best friend from death by mud bath, Clinton leaps life's social hurdles with aplomb. With his signature wit, he shares his unique ability to navigate the stickiest of situations, like deciding whether it's acceptable to eat chicken wings with a fork on live television (spoiler: it's not). Clinton delves into all these topics - and many more - in this thoroughly unabashedly frank and uproarious collection.

©2017 Clinton Kelly (P)2017 Tantor

Critic Reviews

"Clinton wrote a book that has me doubled over laughing and trying to catch my breath! Life is too short not to laugh good and hard when a good, hard laugh is offered. Clinton is offering. Read his book." (Jane Lynch, actress, comedian, and New York Times best-selling author of Happy Accidents)

What members say

Average Customer Ratings

Overall

  • 4.5 out of 5 stars
  • 5 Stars
    155
  • 4 Stars
    50
  • 3 Stars
    22
  • 2 Stars
    13
  • 1 Stars
    10

Performance

  • 4.5 out of 5 stars
  • 5 Stars
    170
  • 4 Stars
    28
  • 3 Stars
    12
  • 2 Stars
    7
  • 1 Stars
    6

Story

  • 4 out of 5 stars
  • 5 Stars
    130
  • 4 Stars
    48
  • 3 Stars
    20
  • 2 Stars
    12
  • 1 Stars
    11
Sort by:
  • Overall
    1 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    1 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    2 out of 5 stars

Filthy language overshadowed stories

This book wasn’t for you, but who do you think might enjoy it more?

Stories might have been okay if the language hadn't been so bad. Very disappointing.

Would you be willing to try another one of Clinton Kelly’s performances?

NO!

What reaction did this book spark in you? Anger, sadness, disappointment?

Disgusted

4 of 5 people found this review helpful

  • Overall
    3 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    3 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    3 out of 5 stars

It's ok

Would you try another book from Clinton Kelly and/or Clinton Kelly?

Not sure if I would, I like Mr Kelly and love him on the Chew however I wanted to learn more than this book was able to show me. Also I do not need to know about Mr Kelly's penis the way that was exsplored in the book

If you’ve listened to books by Clinton Kelly before, how does this one compare?

1st book I've listen to by him

What aspect of Clinton Kelly’s performance would you have changed?

Better story his performance was fine

Did I Hate Everyone, Except You inspire you to do anything?

Nope

Any additional comments?

Next book lets get some more information some more story's not just filler

1 of 1 people found this review helpful

  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    3 out of 5 stars

Made me laugh but

Enjoyed the book. However would have liked it more without the F bombs. Language makes or breaks a book.

1 of 1 people found this review helpful

  • Overall
    1 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    2 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    1 out of 5 stars

Vulgarity abounds.

Clinton is funny and engaging, but this book is not what I expected. Too many unnecessary expletives and sexual references. I didn't finish. Don't listen with kids or grandma within ear shot! Disappointed.

3 of 4 people found this review helpful

  • Overall
    1 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    1 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    1 out of 5 stars

Ugh!!

Nothing interesting, boring and obnoxious.
It's a diary with stories that no one would care about. His reading puts me to sleep.

2 of 3 people found this review helpful

  • Overall
    1 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    3 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    1 out of 5 stars

Too vulgar

What disappointed you about I Hate Everyone, Except You?

Way more vulgar than I was expecting. I don't mind a bit of a potty mouth. But he seriously wrote an entire chapter on his "dingus". Seriously?!? I was hoping to hear more of his life story and fashion advice than that.

Has I Hate Everyone, Except You turned you off from other books in this genre?

Completely

Did the narration match the pace of the story?

Yes

If you could play editor, what scene or scenes would you have cut from I Hate Everyone, Except You?

The whole chapter about his dingus.

3 of 5 people found this review helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars

Laugh at loud

I laugh so hard while listening to the book.
I can understand his point of view.

  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    4 out of 5 stars
  • Nurse
  • DENVER, CO, US
  • 07-11-18

Hilarious!

Enjoyed learning more about Clinton's personal life and hearing him speak honestly (not suitable for TV).

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars

Great listen

Loved hearing Clinton read his own story! Loved getting to know him a bit better.

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars

Laugh out Loud!!

Clinton is so great in his writing and stories!! I laughed out loud many times!! If you read this Clinton, I'm not good at grammar, but you get it anyway!! This is such a good listen, like read...😂🤣 Your the best, and I will so miss you on the Chew!! Please keep in the" TV" land.
🤩👏🤗 ~~~DEBBIE~~