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Publisher's Summary

What do you do after you write a number-one best-selling book about your drunken, sexual misadventures that makes you rich and famous? Celebrate by getting more drunk and having insane amounts of sex, obviously. And pretty soon you've got another f-ing book on your hands. Stuffed full of ridiculous stories of bad decisions, debauchery, and sexual recklessness, Assholes Finish First starts where I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell left off, then proceeds to "some next-level shit." You already know how women react to confidence, game, and vodka, but what happens when you add money and fame to the mix? You get answers to the hard questions you've never thought of asking: What's it like to have sex with a midget? What about two midgets? How does it feel to get multiple requests to "fuck for charity"? What does it do to a man to watch a 19-year-old do wind sprints to sober up, so that she can have sex with you before her twin sister does? At what number of virgins does deflowering them stop being fun and start feeling like a job? When a girl you met three hours ago decides to tattoo your name next to her pussy, what is the appropriate reaction? Can you X-ray a blowjob? The answers are inside, they are absurd and hilarious, and they are the product of one man's experiences: His name is Tucker Max, and he is still an asshole.

©2010 Tucker Max (P)2010 Simon and Schuster Audio

What members say

Average Customer Ratings

Overall

  • 4.5 out of 5 stars
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    490
  • 4 Stars
    171
  • 3 Stars
    77
  • 2 Stars
    24
  • 1 Stars
    35

Performance

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    383
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    130
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    78
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    22
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    24

Story

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Sort by:
  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars

Tucker learned to read.

Upon re-reading "I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell," I have decided this is as funny, if not more so. That combined with the fact Tucker as infinitely improved his narrating skills makes this book a must read.

2 of 2 people found this review helpful

  • Overall
    3 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    3 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    3 out of 5 stars
  • Michael
  • Chester, MD, United States
  • 01-05-12

Tucker is an a-hole from start to finish

Would you try another book from Tucker Max and/or Tucker Max?

Maybe if there was more to the book than just having sex with multiple women and drinking stories.

Would you recommend Assholes Finish First to your friends? Why or why not?

If they were looking for a break from audiobooks that had some redeeming qualities and just want an escape to the ultimate hedonistic lifestyle. If you need some clever derogatory comments, this is your book.

Did the narration match the pace of the story?

Yes - Tucker does a good job of telling his story.

Was Assholes Finish First worth the listening time?

Yes, but if it were any longer, I would not have finished it. There are definitely some funny parts.

3 of 4 people found this review helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Teri
  • Hollister, CA, United States
  • 04-29-11

Awesome book

This is a book that is spoken from the first person by an articulate individual that does what he wants and is driven by 2 things beer and women. Some of the stories are crude but hilarious. If you are a type of person that can not laugh at things that are not PC then don't read this book.

1 of 1 people found this review helpful

  • Overall
    1 out of 5 stars

Duped

I love the first book, but this one is not funny at all. The first book is awesome. However, like the title says for this book, he comes across as a complete a-hole.
I think these stories are the ones that were on the cutting floor for his first book.

3 of 4 people found this review helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars

Funny and just too funny

Amazing stories so funny! Funny funny funny. Really funnny so funny awesome and funny yeah funny just cause I have to write more words to say it was funny!

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars

this was fuckin epic oh my God

i read i hope they serve beer in hell a few years ago, and for some reason dismissed this book for a long time. oh my God i loved it

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars

Comedy and then some!

Ridiculously funny! A good buy for sure. It helped me ignore some really boring people at work very well!

  • Overall
    2 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    3 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    1 out of 5 stars

Started out Funny, but then...

Started out Funny and witty but quickly became boring and redundant. Vulgarity can be funny but this guy runs it into the ground and eventually sounds like some desperate high school kid trying to please his buddies. I almost feel sorry for this guy.

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars
  • CR
  • 09-11-17

I had lol moments

When I first read this book (years ago), I remember crying and struggling to get through the duke camp out section because I was laughing so hard. Even roughly knowing what was happening next I still could not contain the laughter after I heard the story from Tucker's own lips.

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars

loved it

great audio book very funny listened at work took two days to finish couldn't wait to get to work the 2nd day to finish